What is guilt and how to deal with it?

Psychology is a rather complex and complex, but at the same time an interesting science, within the framework of which scientists study a large number of phenomena directly related to humans. One of these phenomena is the feeling of guilt. Today, in our new material, we will try to figure out what the feeling of guilt is, and also analyze possible ways and methods of dealing with it.

First of all, it is necessary to give a definition of the feeling of guilt. So, according to the opinion of professional psychologists, this is regret about a committed act (it can be either an action or inaction), which arises due to the fact that this act has led to negative consequences (for the person who committed it, or for the people around him) ). The feeling of guilt is characterized by the depth of perception, every person has experienced it at least once in his life (except for those people who have any mental or psychological deviations).

Feeling guilty, a person wants and seeks to correct the situation. Often, it is at this stage that the feeling fades away, and the person returns to his normal life.

Guilt can develop for a variety of reasons. At the same time, it is usually quite difficult to establish a connection between a specific event (for example, a mistake in the past) and a psychological state that has arisen. Sometimes there are cases when a person begins to feel guilty not immediately after committing an act, but years later - in such situations it is especially difficult to understand where the destructive condition comes from. In addition, some people may experience an imposed and constant feeling of guilt in everything (most often the reason for this is psychological manipulation by others). Let's look at some of the most common causes of guilt.

Quite often, the feeling of guilt arises in the framework of the relationship of close people (parents and children, mother and child, wife and husband, etc.). Moreover, an unfavorable psychological state can be both justified (for example, maternal guilt gnaws at a woman who went to work and began to spend very little time with her child), and imposed manipulation on the part of others (such manipulative behavior is especially characteristic of children).

For many children, a sense of guilt arises if, in the course of upbringing, parents introduce a system of so-called rewards and punishments.when a child is reprimanded for misdeeds, and praised and rewarded for good behavior (for example, they buy sweets or toys).

To instill and impose a bad mood on a person can not only his immediate environment, but also society as a whole. So, a person who said “no” to his work colleague, an employee who left after sick leave, during which he missed several important meetings, etc., can feel guilty. This is often due to the fact that a person (as a social being) feels a duty and responsibility towards others, and therefore experiences negative emotions if he does not fulfill the expectations of others.

A guilt complex in the form of self-accusation is a rather complex form of a negative psychological state and can lead to a variety of serious consequences. The thing is that in situations where we are guilty in front of other people, we can try to fix everything and earn forgiveness, while getting rid of self-accusation is very difficult, since it is often unusual for people to forgive their own transgressions, but, on the contrary, it is enough just to concentrate on them.

Religious people often feel guilty. This is due to the very nature and essence of religion as a worldview, which contains such a concept as "sin". If a person in any way violated (or even retreated) the instructions of the saints, he automatically begins to feel very uncomfortable and experiences a certain emotional stress.

In addition to the above reasons, feelings of guilt (for both men and women) cause various life difficulties, losses and tragedies. This phenomenon is especially often manifested in those people whose loved ones die. In such a situation, it is quite difficult to restrain oneself and not think that it was possible to somehow prevent death or help the deceased. In addition, the phenomenon of “loser guilt” is considered a popular phenomenon. It manifests itself in the event that a person could not achieve their goals or did not get the desired result.

Thus, we were able to make sure that there is a huge variety of reasons that cause feelings of guilt. If you are in such an unfavorable state, then it is very important to analyze your actions and the situation around you in order to understand what specific reasons provoked your negative mood. Only with this approach can you solve the existing problem.

Modern psychologists distinguish several forms of guilt. For example, this feeling can be deep or heightened. Let's consider the most common classification.

• Neurotic. The neurotic type of guilt is very often also called false. First of all, this is due to the fact that, while experiencing negative emotions inside, in fact, a person has not yet managed to accomplish anything in the external environment. He only anticipates his actions and worries that they may have a negative effect. Most often, neurotic guilt arises from prolonged or regular conflicts in the family or with other people around.
• Existential. Very often, existential guilt is perceived as a positive emotion, as it often becomes the reason for the beginning of life changes. It arises exclusively from the internal emotional state of the individual. Such a psychological state often leads to an improvement in one's own self-esteem.
• Real. Real guilt is the easiest to understand - it is a direct consequence of the actions or inaction of one particular individual.

The obsessive sense of guilt that torments a person and accompanies him everywhere interferes with the development and formation of the personality. In such a situation, not only the development of psychological problems (for example, depression) is characteristic, but also the emergence of various kinds of negative symptoms from such an area as psychosomatics. The most common examples of chronic guilt feelings include:

• excessive touchiness;
• self-flagellation;
• lack of faith in yourself, in your own strengths and capabilities;
• lack of goals and desires;
• refusal to implement the plan;
• a desire to punish and harm yourself;
• persistent colds;
• deviations in the work of the cardiovascular system;
• problems with the musculoskeletal system, etc.

Thus, we can conclude that chronic feelings of guilt can cause quite serious harm to human health. Moreover, we are talking not only about psychological and mental influences, but also possible physical diseases. There are frequent cases of auto-aggression and suicide attempts among people who experience a heightened sense of guilt (especially without a real reason for such emotions). In this regard, if you or your loved one are in a similar negative psychological mood, then it is very important to consult a specialist. In no case do not hide your difficulties and do not try to solve them on your own, as this can lead to irreparable tragic consequences.

As you and I have learned, guilt is often destructive. That is why you need to fight it. In order to get rid of negative emotions, modern psychologists have developed and tested a number of specialized exercises, techniques, techniques, practices and affirmations. They will help you work out the causes of guilt feelings, remove negative consequences from this emotion, cope with physiological consequences, as well as stop blaming yourself for wrongdoing and forgive your unsatisfactory behavior.

So, you can resist feelings of guilt with the help of certain exercises.

• Forgiveness is one of the most common techniques. So, in order to get rid of your negative emotions, as well as to improve relations with the person who was harmed by your act, you should ask him for sincere forgiveness. Sometimes this action is quite difficult to carry out, but it brings a positive effect in the vast majority of cases.
• In some situations, it is not enough to apologize to someone in private. Depending on the nature of your offense, a public apology may be required. Despite the fact that admitting your mistakes in public is quite difficult, it needs to be done.In this way, you will not only earn forgiveness, but you will also gain inner peace.
• Another method of a mental nature is called "mental judgment." To implement it, you must present yourself in the dock in court. At the same time, you also simultaneously act as your lawyer and prosecutor. In this situation, it is imperative not only to blame yourself, but also to find reasonable and necessary excuses for your behavior.
• Try to put yourself in the shoes of a manipulator and create (or exacerbate) feelings of guilt. It is not at all necessary to use sound and objective methods. This technique will let you know that many people, acting out of their own personal interests, will make you feel guilty, even if they are not justified. This, in turn, will help you deal with your negative emotions.
• Even if you have done the wrong thing and offended your loved one, it is very important to try to maintain a positive attitude towards life. You should try to make amends in ways that are adequate and consistent with the offense. After you have done everything that depended on you, you need to let go of the situation and move on. The main thing is to learn from your mistakes and not make them in the future.

Depending on how deep and acute your guilt feelings are, you can use one or more of the techniques listed above.

In order to find healing, let go of the destructive feeling of guilt forever and move on with your life, you need to follow the advice and recommendations of professional psychologists.

• Be sure to analyze your real actions and your current psychological state. Be sure to look for causal relationships and learn a valuable life lesson from the situation.
• Put yourself in the shoes of the person who has been harmed by your action. Thus, you will be able to understand how serious the consequences are: does the person act adequately in this situation and is really offended, or is he simply trying to manipulate you for his own selfish purposes.
• Try to put your feelings on paper. Moreover, it is not necessary to show this letter to someone or even re-read it yourself. After you have written it, it is recommended that you burn the sheet and “let go” all the negativity from your heart.
• Try different relaxation and meditation techniques in which you focus on your breathing and try not to think about the problems and worries that are bothering you at the moment.

The feeling of guilt, being a natural psychological reaction of a person to the state of the world around him, as well as to his actions and deeds, often harms the psychological and physical health of an individual. That is why it is very important to act correctly during the period when you are experiencing these emotions. It is necessary to understand the causes of this condition and characterize its type. Then you can take action to get rid of the guilt. It should be borne in mind that not always a person can cope with a problem on his own - very often he needs the support of relatives and friends, or even the help of a specialist.