How to learn to communicate with people?

Interpersonal communication is an integral part of any person's life. However, it is not easy for everyone to find contact with other people. How to learn how to communicate with people in order to achieve the most effective interaction, we will consider in this article.

To live in society, you need to have effective communication skills. We encounter dozens of different people every day. Regardless of our desire, we are forced to come into contact with others.

Communication is a rather complex process, which implies the ability not only to speak correctly, but also to listen.... In addition to verbal communication, it is important to know sign language to interact with other people, to be able to control your intonation during conversation and facial expressions.

When interacting with other people, it is important to be able to win over the interlocutor. There are a few rules to remember to help you make effective connections:

• Do not criticize your interlocutor. Criticism repels people and can trigger a self-defense reaction.
• Admire the other person more. All people have good qualities or skills that deserve attention. Find positive traits in the person and sincerely admire them.
• Show interest. Learn to listen to your interlocutor. Let people talk about the topics they are most excited about at the moment.
• Don't refuse to help the person make the right decision. When a person needs advice to make a choice, subtly share your experience or opinion. It is important not to put pressure on the interlocutor and give him the opportunity to make a choice on his own.

• Smile more. You can always win over a person with the help of a good mood.
• Consider the personality traits. Know how to take the place of the interlocutor, analyze his actions, understand the motives of his actions. This will allow you to find a common language with the person.
• Make it easier to criticize you. If the interlocutor makes this or that remark, there is no need to choose the tactics of a retaliatory attack. If there is no reason for the development of a discussion with regards to comments addressed to you, then the conflict situation will be resolved by itself.
• Don't tell people what to do. The order tone causes a negative reaction in people.

In modern society, effective communication skills are necessary for every person. The ability to build connections plays a big role in the social life of every person. Effective communication with people will help you achieve many goals:

• Solve the issue of employment. In the interview, it is very important to present yourself from the best side.
• Reach mutual understanding in the work team. For effective work, it is necessary that colleagues treat each other with understanding and be ready to help in a difficult situation.
• Improve family relationships. The ability to easily find a common language with family members will avoid many conflict situations.
• Productive interaction with service workers (managers, salespeople, waiters). By endearing an employee, you can benefit from your interactions. For example, get good advice on the choice or a discount on a purchase.
• Establish contact with management. Effective interaction with the management team contributes to career advancement.

In a conversation, it is important to be able to win over a person. In order to learn how to communicate freely with people, follow these guidelines:

• Listen to the speech of the interlocutor. Catch the tempo, intonation, voice volume. Speaking in a similar manner will help you gain the other person's disposition.
• You must be able to clearly and competently express your thoughts, then listening to you will be more interesting and enjoyable.
• First, you can begin to train your ability to express thoughts clearly in writing. Try to find a storytelling style that's right for you.
• Build your vocabulary regularly. The ability to choose the right words to express your thoughts means a lot.
• Work on gestures and facial expressions.

Often, internal barriers prevent us from making contact with other people. Learn to recognize and remove psychological barriers. The following factors can interfere with interpersonal interaction:

• Lack of topics for conversation... Each person has their own interests and hobbies. If you try, you can always find common ground. Find out more about the interlocutor.
• Biased attitude. Adequate perception of the interlocutor can be distorted for many reasons. Don't allow yourself to jump to conclusions about a person without getting to know him better.
• Bad mood... Having problems at work or in your personal life is not a reason for splashing negative emotions on other people.

It is equally important to be able to respectfully listen to the interlocutor. Pay attention not only to what the person says, but also to how he does it, what his gestures and facial expressions speak about. Be tactful and polite.Know how to take the place of another person and understand him. Do not interrupt the person under any circumstances - this can cause extremely negative consequences.

Always try to be honest and open in your communication. Sincerity will make you feel more at ease and free.

The main reason people are afraid to make contact is the fear of being misunderstood. Typically, the roots of this problem go back to the childhood of the individual. To stop being afraid to express your thoughts, you need to identify the causes of this phobia. The reluctance to come into contact with other people can have other reasons:

• low self-esteem;
• complexes due to appearance;
• shyness;
• inability to start and maintain a dialogue.

Regardless of the cause of the fear, you must fight it. The easiest way to deal with a phobia is to do what you fear. In order to learn how to establish contacts in modern society, you can start small: as often as possible, approach strangers on the street and ask them for insignificant things (time, way to a certain place). After a while, you will begin to feel more confident in your interactions with other people.

You can start learning to express yourself on the Internet. Each person has specific interests and hobbies. On thematic forums, you can hone your communication skills on interesting topics. This approach has a number of advantages:

• with virtual communication, it is easier to step over your fears;
• it's easier to establish contact with like-minded people;
• the acquired communication skills will have a good effect on self-esteem.

After the first success in communication, you should not stop there. You need to start putting your skills into practice in real life. To make contact with people much easier, you need to work out certain qualities and skills in yourself:

• Develop self-confidence. Confident people are conducive to communication and interaction.
• Refer to the other person by name more often.
• Learn to develop a dialogue. Show your interest in the person by asking subtle, clear questions to keep the conversation going.
• Don't be afraid to get rejected.
• Maintain eye contact with the person while communicating. Aversion of the eyes to the side can be interpreted as secrecy or deceit. Don't be afraid to look people in the eye.

To effectively interact with other people, it is important to hone your skills not only in verbal communication, but also to be able to convey information through gestures and facial expressions. In addition, knowing the basics of body language can help you better understand the other person by analyzing their behavior. Often, facial expressions, gestures and intonation speak much more than a person's speech.

When analyzing the interlocutor, do not forget that the signals given by his body must be "read" in aggregate... The same gesture in combination with other signals can have very different meanings.

Open palms speak of a person's honesty and sincerity, while hands hidden in pockets or crossed over their chest indicate that the interlocutor is lying, feels uncomfortable or does not intend to continue the conversation.

It is customary for men to greet each other with a handshake. Moreover, both familiar personalities and those who see each other for the first time can shake hands. At the first meeting, a handshake can say a lot about a person's character or intentions:

• Power and superiority. The dominant person's hand covers the interlocutor's hand with the palm down.
• Obedience. With a submissive handshake, the hand is palm up.
• Equality. When showing equality, both palms are in the same upright position.

There are certain types of handshakes that should never be practiced:

• Cold and sticky hand... People associate a sluggish handshake with a weak character.
• Overly firm handshake suggests that a person strives for dominance and control over the situation. Sometimes this technique is used by weak personalities who are trying to mask their lack of self-confidence.
• Strong finger squeezing... This technique is used by aggressive, non-self-controlling individuals.
• Shaking your fingertips... Such a handshake most often occurs due to the unwillingness to let the interlocutor into your personal comfort zone.
• Arm stretching... This handshake indicates that the person wants to take control of the situation and establish their own rules.
• Vertical hand shake... With such a handshake, it is allowed to shake the interlocutor's hand no more than seven times.

By catching the look of the interlocutor, you can understand his true attitude. Oftentimes, the eyes can say much more than speech and gestures.

A person's pupils can change in size when mood changes. In an emotionally agitated person, they can become four times wider. Constricted pupils indicate irritation or anger.

Raised eyebrows are another person's standard greeting. You can use this gesture in order to please the interlocutor. Dropped eyebrows indicate an aggressive or dominant mood. A glance from under the brow speaks of a person's submissiveness.

To establish contact with a person, during a conversation, it is advisable not to take your eyes off him for a long time. In order to reach mutual understanding with the interlocutor, you need to meet your views from sixty to seventy percent of the entire conversation. When analyzing a direct gaze, do not forget about the size of the interlocutor's pupils.

Smiling people seem to be more open and welcoming, which is certainly conducive to communication. By smiling, you show the other person that you are friendly and not a threat.

The duration of the smile also betrays a deceitful smile. A fake smile stays on the face much longer than a sincere one. In addition, fake facial expressions are more pronounced on the left side of the face. There are four common types of smiles:

• Pursed lips... With such a smile, the lips form an almost straight line, while the teeth are hidden. Such a signal most often indicates that a person does not want to share some information or does not want to voice his opinion.
• Curve mimicry... One part of the face in this case can express a smile, while the other has a completely opposite expression. Such facial expressions denote sarcasm and insincerity.
• Open mouth... By smiling with an open mouth, people try to achieve the effect of smiling eyes or to make a good impression and elicit a positive reaction.
• Smile when viewed from under the brows typical for women who want to attract the attention of the opposite sex, show their defenselessness and playfulness.

Try to never communicate with people with crossed arms. This gesture signals a negative attitude or defensive position.Even if you periodically cross your arms over your chest due to the fact that it is just so comfortable for you, this gesture will still be perceived as protection and secrecy.

An even more negative gesture is the arms crossed over the chest and clenched into fists. This signal indicates not only defense, but also an aggressive attitude. A variation of the crossed arms is the forearm grasping gesture. Such a signal indicates a person's insecurity.

Partial crossing of arms is usually used by women. This technique looks like a self-hug: one hand covers the hand and grabs the other hand. Such a signal can be interpreted as inner fear or self-doubt.

Every person wants to learn how to express their thoughts beautifully and effectively interact with other people. For this, it is not necessary to attend special courses and trainings. You can regularly hone your communication skills yourself with simple exercises.

Start practicing daily to competently express your thoughts to an inanimate object. You can make a conversation plan and stick to it. The exercise will be very useful for individuals who are embarrassed to come into contact with other people.

You need to start a conversation with strangers as often as possible. You can make it a goal to talk to at least five strangers every day. These can be casual acquaintances, neighbors, or service workers. This practice will save you from being the first to start a conversation.

If you can't get over your inner fear of being the first to start a conversation with a stranger, practice making phone calls. You can call the store for opening hours or check the availability of a product.

Learn to compliment. You need to set yourself the task of praising each interlocutor throughout the day. It's important to be sincere when complimenting. There is no need to praise a person for the qualities that annoy or repulse you in him. Take a close look at the person and note those qualities that really attract you.

Exercise more in front of the mirror. Think of a poem or short story. Stand in front of the mirror in a confident posture: straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, look your reflection in the eyes. Then, without changing your posture, imagine that a completely different, notorious and squeezed personality is sitting inside you.

Give a premeditated speech on behalf of the insecure person. Then you will need to change the pose. You can hunch over, make an unpleasant expression on your face. Now you need to imagine that there is an interesting, confident person inside you. Repeat your speech on behalf of a confident person. This exercise will help you catch the barely noticeable intonations and facial expressions of an internally confident and insecure person.

Learn to join the company. Listen to a group of people at work, school, or a party. Try to get closer and have a conversation. Remember to pay attention to the gestures and facial expressions of the group members in order to understand how desirable your presence in the conversation is.

When dealing with people, don't be afraid to fail. Fighting with inner fears and complexes is a rather lengthy process. It's normal and natural to make mistakes when dealing with people. Do not stop there, continue to exercise regularly and over time you will master the skills of effective communication.

For information on how to learn to communicate with people, see the next video.