Important features of speech etiquette

Today, correct and cultured speech no longer occupies its former dominant place in society. Most people communicate without due respect and respect for each other, thereby generating misunderstandings, unnecessary quarrels and swearing.

First of all, you need to find out what etiquette is. Summarizing most of the definitions, we can conclude that etiquette is a set of generally accepted rules regarding norms of behavior, appearance, and communication between people. In turn, speech etiquette is certain established linguistic norms of communication in society.

This concept appeared in France during the reign of Louis XIV. Ladies and gentlemen of the court were given special "labels" - cards, where recommendations were written on how to behave at the table at a banquet, when a ball is taking place, a ceremonial reception of foreign guests is taking place, etc. eventually entered the common people.

From time immemorial to this day, the culture of each ethnic group has existed and still exist its own special norms of communication and behavior in society. These rules help to tactfully enter into verbal contact with a person, without hurting his personal feelings and emotions.

Features of speech etiquette are in a number of linguistic and social properties:

1. The inevitability of the implementation of etiquette forms. This means that if a person wants to be a full-fledged part of society (a group of people), then he needs to comply with generally accepted norms of behavior. Otherwise, society may reject him - people will not want to communicate with him, maintain close contact.
2. Speech etiquette is public courtesy. It is always flattering to communicate with a well-mannered person, and it is especially pleasant to respond with a mutual "kind" word. There are often cases when people are unpleasant to each other, but ended up in the same team. This is where speech etiquette will help out, because all people want comfortable communication without swear words and harsh expressions.
3. The need to comply with speech formulas. The speech action of a cultured person cannot do without a sequence of stages. The beginning of a conversation always begins with a greeting, followed by the main part - the conversation. The dialogue ends with a farewell and nothing else.
4. Alleviating conflicts and conflict situations. Saying “sorry” or “sorry” at the right time will help you avoid unnecessary conflicts.
5. The ability to show the level of relationships between interlocutors. For people of a close circle, as a rule, warmer words of greeting and communication in general are used ("Hello", "How glad I am to see you," etc.). Those who are unfamiliar simply adhere to "officialdom" ("Hello", "Good afternoon").

The manner of communicating with people is always a direct indicator of the level of a person's upbringing. To become a worthy member of society, it is necessary to form communication skills in oneself, without which it will be very difficult in the modern world.

From the moment of birth, the child begins to receive the necessary knowledge for the formation of skills and abilities. Conversation skill is the basis of conscious communication, without which it is difficult to exist. Now he is given great attention not only in the family, but also in educational institutions (school, university). The culture of communication is understood as a model of speech behavior, which must be relied upon at the time of a conversation with another individual. Its full-fledged formation depends on many components: the environment in which a person grew up, the level of upbringing of his parents, the quality of the education received, and personal aspirations.

Building a culture of communication skills is a long and difficult process. It is based on a number of goals and objectives, having achieved which, you can fully master the skill of tactful and polite communication with people in secular society and at home. They aim (goals and objectives) to develop the following qualities:

1. sociability as an individual personality trait;
2. the formation of communicative relationships in society;
3. lack of isolation from society;
4. social activity;
5. improving academic performance;
6. the development of an individual's quick adaptation to a variety of activities (play, educational, etc.).

Each person sees and feels the invisible connection between the culture of speech and etiquette. It seems that these concepts are absolutely close and equal to each other, but this is not entirely true. First, you need to define what constitutes culture in a broad sense.

Culture is understood as a person's presence of certain communicative qualities and knowledge, good reading, and as a result of this, a sufficient vocabulary, awareness of a number of many issues, the presence of upbringing, as well as the ability to behave in society and alone with oneself.

In turn, the culture of conversation or communication is the image of an individual's speech, his ability to conduct a conversation, to express his thoughts in a structured manner. This concept is very difficult to understand, so there is still a lot of controversy over the accuracy of this definition.

In Russia and abroad, this branch of linguistics as a science is engaged in the development of communication rules and their systematization.Also, the culture of speech means the study and application of the rules and norms of written and oral speech, punctuation, accentology, ethics and other sections of linguistics.

From a scientific point of view, speech is defined as "correct" or "incorrect". This implies the correct use of words in various linguistic situations. Examples:

• “Drive home already! "(Correctly say - go);
• “Put the bread on the table? "(The word" lay down "is not used without prefixes, therefore it is necessary to use only such correct forms - put, lay out, superimpose, etc.)

If a person calls himself cultured, then it is assumed that he has a number of distinctive qualities: he has a large or above average vocabulary, the ability to correctly and competently express his thoughts, the desire to improve the level of knowledge in the field of linguistics and ethical standards. From ancient times to this day, the standard of etiquette and highly cultured communication is literary speech. The basis of the correct Russian language lies in classical works. Therefore, it is safe to say that speech etiquette is fully interconnected with the culture of communication.

Without a high-quality education, good upbringing and a special desire to improve communication skills, a person will not be able to fully observe the culture of speech, since he will simply not be familiar with it. The environment has a special influence on the formation of an individual's linguistic culture. Speech habits are "practiced" among friends and family.

Moreover, speech culture is directly related to such an ethical category as politeness, which, in turn, also characterizes the speaker (a polite person or a rude person). In this regard, we can say that people who do not comply with the norms of communication show the interlocutor a lack of culture, their bad manners and impoliteness. For example, a person did not say hello at the beginning of a conversation, uses profanity, swear words, does not use the respectful address "you" when it was expected and implied.

Speech etiquette has a number of important functions. Without them, it is difficult to form an idea about it, as well as to understand how it manifests itself at the moment of communication between people.

One of the dominant functions of the language is communicative, because the basis of speech etiquette is communication. In turn, it consists of a number of other tasks, without which it would not be able to fully function:

• Social (aimed at establishing contact). This implies the primary establishment of communication with the interlocutor, maintaining attention. Sign language plays a special role at the stage of establishing contact. As a rule, people look eye to eye and smile. Usually this is done unconsciously, on a subconscious level, in order to show the joy of meeting and starting a dialogue, they stretch out their hand for a handshake (with close acquaintance).
• Connotative. This function is aimed at showing politeness towards each other. This applies to both the beginning of the dialogue and the entire communication in general.
• Regulatory... It has a direct connection with the above. From the name it is clear that it regulates relations between people during communication. In addition, its purpose is to convince the interlocutor of something, to induce him to action, or vice versa, to prohibit doing something.
• Emotional... Each conversation has its own level of emotionality, which is set from the very beginning. It depends on the degree of acquaintance of people, the room in which they are located (a public place or a cozy table in the corner of a cafe), as well as on the mood of each individual at the time of speech.

Some linguists supplement this list with the following features:

• Imperative... It implies the influence of opponents on each other during a conversation through gestures and facial expressions. With the help of open poses, you can win over a person, scare or press, "increasing their volumes" (the speaker throws his arms high and wide, spreads his legs, looks upward).
• Controversial polemic. In other words, a dispute.

Based on the above functions, the following number of properties of speech etiquette are distinguished:

1. thanks to him, a person can feel like a full-fledged part of the team;
2. he helps to establish communication between people;
3. helps to find out information about the interlocutor;
4. with its help, you can show your degree of respect for your opponent;
5. speech etiquette promotes a positive emotional attitude, which helps to extend the conversation and make more friendly contact.

If we turn to the modern dictionary of the Russian language, then there you can find the definition of speech as a form of communication between people with the help of sounds that form the basis of words from which sentences are built, and gestures.

In turn, speech is internal ("dialogue in the head") and external. External communication is divided into written and oral. Oral communication takes the form of a dialogue or monologue. Moreover, written speech is secondary, and oral speech is primary.

Dialogue is the process of communication between two or more individuals in order to exchange information, impressions, experiences, emotions. A monologue is the speech of one person. It can be addressed to the audience, to yourself or to the reader.

Written speech is more conservative in structure than oral speech. She also rigidly "requires" the use of punctuation marks, the purpose of which is to convey the exact intent and emotional component. Transferring words in writing is a complex and interesting process. Before writing something, a person thinks about what exactly he wants to say and convey to the reader, and then how to write it down correctly (grammatically and stylistically).

Audible verbal communication is spoken language. It is situational, limited by time and space, where the speaker directly speaks. Oral communication can be characterized by such categories as:

• content (cognitive, material, emotional, prompting to action and activity);
• interaction technique (role-based communication, business, social, etc.);
• the purpose of communication.

If we talk about speech in a secular society, then in this situation people communicate on topics that are prescribed in speech etiquette. In fact, this is empty, pointless and polite communication. To some extent, it can be called mandatory. People can perceive a person's behavior as an insult in their own direction if he does not communicate and does not greet anyone at a social reception or corporate party.

In a business conversation, the main task is to reach agreement and approval from the opponent in any issue or matter of interest.

The purpose of any speech act is to influence the interlocutor. The conversation was created in order to convey information to a person, to have fun, to convince him of something. Speech is a unique phenomenon that is observed only in a human being. The more meaningful and expressive it is, the greater the effect it will produce.

The following elements of speech are distinguished:

• Content. This is one of the most important elements, since it reflects the speaker's true knowledge, vocabulary, erudition, as well as the ability to convey the main topic of the conversation to the listeners. If the speaker "floats" in the topic, is poorly informed and uses expressions and phrases that he does not understand, then the listener will immediately understand this and lose interest. If this is often observed for an individual, then interest in him as a person will soon be lost.
• Naturalness of speech... First of all, a person must be sure of what he says and how he says it. This will help to naturally engage in dialogue without taking on any role. It is much easier for people to perceive calm speech without "officialdom" and pretense. It is very important that the posture of the person speaking is also natural. All movements, turns, steps should be smooth, measured.

• Composition. This is a sequential, ordered arrangement of parts of speech and their logical relationship. The composition is divided into five stages: establishing contact, introduction, keynote speech, conclusion, summing up. If you remove one of them, then communicating information will be a more complicated process.
• Comprehensibility... Before you say something, you need to think about whether the listener will understand you correctly. Therefore, it is necessary to select the appropriate stylistic means of expressing thoughts. The speaking person should pronounce the words clearly and moderately loudly, keep a certain tempo (not too fast, but not too slowly), and sentences in terms of their length should be moderate. Try to reveal the meaning of abbreviations and complex foreign concepts.
• Emotionality. It is clear that a person's speech must always convey a certain proportion of emotions. They can be conveyed through intonation, expression and "juicy" words. Thanks to this, the opponent will be able to fully grasp the essence of the conversation and become interested.
• Eye contact. This element of speech helps not only to establish contact, but also to keep it. Through eye-to-eye contact, people show their interest as well as their involvement in the conversation. But eye contact must be established correctly. If you look closely and not blink, the interlocutor may perceive this as an act of aggression.
• Non-verbal communication. Gestures, facial expressions and postures play an important role during a conversation. They help convey information, convey your attitude to the words spoken and win over the interlocutor. It is always pleasant to listen to a person who “helps” himself with his face and hands. Normal verbal communication is boring and dry, without gestures and facial expressions.

• Right. The speech of the individual must be correct, without speech errors and reservations.
• Moderation. Brevity is the soul of wit. The less and more informative the sentences are, the more the interlocutor will understand. Nobody likes "water" in conversation.
• Technique and manner of speech. Many have noticed that one particular person is much more pleasant to listen to than another. It depends on the communication style. The voice of the person telling the story should not be too loud, calm, the words should be pronounced clearly, without "eating" the endings.
• "Unnecessary words. This applies to the so-called parasitic words. They fill in awkward pauses or places in a sentence where a person does not know what to say (“so to speak,” “in short,” “here,” “well,” “actually,” etc.). It is necessary to get rid of them, since they do not add beauty to speech.

Sometimes non-verbal communication can show more than the individual is trying to say. In this regard, in the course of communication with an unfamiliar person, management or colleague, you need to monitor your gestures and movements. Non-verbal transmission of information is almost subconscious and can affect the emotional mood of the conversation.

Body language includes gestures, postures, facial expressions.In turn, gestures are individual (they can be associated with physiological characteristics, habits), emotional, ritual (when a person is baptized, prays, etc.) and generally accepted (reaching out for a handshake).

An important mark on body language postpones human activity. It can also change depending on environmental factors.

A conversation with an official or boss is not always done when you truly want it. Therefore, you need to control your body in order to avoid unpleasant questions.

Masters of public speaking advise not to clench your palms into fists, not to hide your hands back (perceived as a threat), try not to close (cross your legs, it is especially unethical to put your legs on your legs in such a way that the toe of your feet “pokes” at the interlocutor).

Particular attention should be paid to the facial muscles. What's in the soul is on the face. Of course, when you are talking with a close friend, you can let go of your emotions, but in the business sphere this is unacceptable. In interviews, negotiations and business meetings, it is better not to squeeze or bite your lips. (this is how a person expresses his distrust and concern), try to look in the eyes or at the whole audience. If the gaze is constantly averted to the side or down, then this is how a person expresses his disinterest, fatigue.

According to the rules of speech etiquette with strangers and in an official setting, it is better to keep yourself restrained, without unnecessary emotional leaks. As for the usual everyday communication with friends and family, in this case, you can allow yourself to relax, so that gestures and postures echo the spoken words.

Speech etiquette requires a person to comply with certain norms, since without them the culture of communication itself would not exist. The rules are divided into two groups: strictly prohibiting and those of a more recommendatory nature (they are determined by the situation and the place in which the communication takes place). Speech behavior also has its own rules.

The content of speech norms includes:

• compliance of the language with literary norms;
• excerpt of stages (first there is a greeting, then the main part of the conversation, then the end of the conversation);
• avoidance of swear words, rudeness, tactless and disrespectful behavior;
• choosing the tone and manner of communication that is suitable for the situation;
• use of accurate terminology and professionalism without mistakes.

The Speech Etiquette Regulation lists the following communication rules:

• in your speech, you must try to avoid "empty" words that do not carry the meaning of words, as well as monotonous speech turns and expressions; Communication should take place at an accessible level for the interlocutor, while using understandable words and phrases.
• in the process of dialogue, let the opponent speak, do not interrupt him and listen to the end;
• the most important thing is to be polite and tactful.

At the heart of any conversation is a number of rules and regulations that must be adhered to. In speech etiquette, the concept of speech formulas is distinguished. They help to "lay out" the conversation between people into stages. The following stages of conversation are distinguished:

• Start of communication (greeting the interlocutor or getting to know him). Here, as a rule, the person himself chooses the form of address. It all depends on the gender of the people entering the dialogue, their age and emotional state. If they are teenagers, then they can say to each other “Hello! "And it will be fine.In the case when the people starting the conversation have different age groups, it is better to use the words "Hello", "Good afternoon / evening". When these are old acquaintances, the communication can start very emotionally: “How glad I am to see you! ", "Long time no see! ". There are no strict regulations at this stage if this is normal everyday communication, but in the case of business meetings it is necessary to adhere to the "high" style.
• Main conversation... In this part, the development of the dialogue depends on the situation. This can be an ordinary fleeting meeting on the street, a special occasion (wedding, anniversary, birthday), a funeral, or an office conversation. In the event that this is some kind of holiday, the communication formulas are divided into two branches - the invitation of the interlocutor to a celebration or significant event and congratulations (congratulatory speech with wishes).
• Invitation... In this situation, it is better to use the following words: “I would like to invite you,” “I will be glad to see you,” “please accept my invitation,” etc.
• Wishes... Here the speech formulas are as follows: “accept my congratulations from the bottom of my heart,” “let me congratulate you,” “on behalf of the whole team, I wish you ...”, etc.

• Sad eventsrelated to the loss of a loved one, etc. It is very important that encouraging words do not sound dry and official, without the proper emotional coloring. It is very absurd and inappropriate to communicate with a person in such grief with a smile and active gestures. In these difficult days for a person, it is necessary to use the following phrases: "accept my condolences", "I sincerely sympathize with your grief", "be strong in spirit", etc.

• Working office days. It should be understood that communication with a colleague, subordinate and manager will have different formulas of speech etiquette. In a dialogue with each of the listed people, words of compliments, advice, encouragement, a request for a favor, etc. may be encountered.

• Tips and requests. When a person advises an opponent, the following templates are used: “I would like to advise you ...”, “if you allow me, I will give you advice,” “I advise you,” etc. It is easy to agree that asking someone for a favor is sometimes difficult and uncomfortable. A well-mannered person will feel a little awkward. In such a situation, the following words are used: "can I ask you about ...", "do not consider it rude, but I need your help", "please help me", etc.

• Acknowledgments... It is more pleasant to express gratitude, but it also needs to be presented correctly: “I thank you from the bottom of my heart,” “I am very grateful to you,” “thank you,” etc.
• Compliments and words of encouragement also require correct filing. It is important that a person understands to whom he is complimenting, since the leadership can perceive this as flattery, and an unfamiliar person will consider it rude or mockery. Therefore, the following expressions are regulated here: "you are an excellent companion", "your skills in this matter helped us a lot", "you look good today", etc.

• Do not forget about the form of addressing a person. Many sources indicate that at work and with unfamiliar people it is better to stick to the "you" form, since "you" is a more personal and everyday appeal.
• Completion of communication. After the main part of the conversation has come to its climax, the third stage begins - the logical end of the dialogue. Farewell to a person also has different forms. This can be a common wish for a good day or good health. Sometimes the end of the dialogue may end with the words of hope for a new meeting: "See you soon," "I hope I see you not for the last time," "I would very much like to meet with you again," etc.Very often doubts are expressed that the interlocutors will ever meet again: "I am not sure if we will see each other again", "Do not remember it dashingly", "I will remember only good things about you."

These formulas are divided into 3 stylistic groups:

1. Neutral... Words without emotional connotation are used here. They are used in everyday communication, at work in the office, as well as at home ("hello", "thank you", "please", "good day", etc.).
2. Increased... The words and expressions of this group are intended for solemn and significant events. Usually they express the emotional state of a person and his thoughts (“I'm very sorry”, “I'm very glad to see you,” “I really hope to see you soon,” etc.).
3. Reduced... This includes phrases and expressions that are used in an informal setting among "friends". They can be very rude and colloquial ("salute", "hello", "healthy"). They are most often used by adolescents and young people.

All of the above formulas of speech etiquette are not strict rules of daily communication. Of course, in an official setting, you should adhere to a certain order, but in everyday life you can use words that are closer to a "warm" conversation ("hello / goodbye", "glad to see you", "see you tomorrow", etc.).

At first glance, it may seem that it is very easy to conduct a secular cultural conversation, but this is not entirely true. For a person without special communication skills, it will be difficult to bring this to life. Everyday communication with loved ones, friends and family is very different from business and official conduct of a conversation.

Speech is spontaneous and situational, so it needs to be controlled and corrected (if required). Speech etiquette "calls" for loyalty, for being attentive to the interlocutor, as well as for maintaining the purity and correctness of speech as such.

Recommendations for conducting a cultural conversation:

• Avoiding swear words, insults, swearing and humiliation in relation to the opponent. By using them, the person pronouncing them loses the respect of the listener. This is especially prohibited in the field of business communication (office, educational institution). The most important and basic rule is mutual respect during the dialogue.
• Lack of self-centeredness when speaking. You need to try not to dwell on yourself, your problems, experiences and emotions, you cannot be intrusive, boastful and annoying. Otherwise, soon a person simply does not want to communicate with such an individual.
• The interlocutor must show interest in communication... It is always pleasant to tell something to a person when he is interested in the subject of the conversation. In this regard, eye contact, clarifying questions, open poses are very important.
• Matching the topic of the conversation with the place, in which it happens and with the person with whom it is being conducted. You should not discuss personal or intimate matters with an unfamiliar interlocutor. The conversation will be awkward and repulsive. You also need to understand where the dialogue starts. For example, during a theatrical performance, it will be extremely inappropriate and tactless to conduct a conversation.

• You should only start a conversation if it doesn't really distract your opponent from something important. If you can see that a person is in a hurry somewhere, doing something, then it is better to ask him about the time when he will be able to communicate.
• The style of speech should correspond to the norms of business conversation. In the context of the educational process or work environment, it is necessary to monitor the words spoken, as there they can have consequences.
• Moderate gestures. The body gives out emotions and intentions.With strong and expressive gestures, it is difficult for the interlocutor to concentrate on the topic of the conversation. Moreover, it can be regarded as a threat.
• Age limits must be respected. With a person several times older than yourself, you must use the address "you" or by name and patronymic. This is how respect for the interlocutor is shown. With approximately the same age group, strangers should also use this form. If people are familiar, then communication can take place according to personal rules that have long been established. It will be very rude to "poke" in relation to the younger interlocutor from the side of an adult.

Absolutely every dialogue or communication is a speech situation. Conversation between individuals can take various forms, it all depends on a number of factors. These include gender composition, time, place, theme, motive.

The sex of the interlocutor plays an important role. In terms of emotional coloring, a conversation between two young men will always differ from a dialogue between girls, as well as a dialogue between a man and a woman.

The use of different speech formulas depends on the place. If this is an official reception, meeting, interview and other important events, then here it is necessary to use the words "high level". In the case when this is a common meeting on the street or on the bus, you can use stylistically neutral expressions and words.

Speech situations are divided into the following types:

• Formal and business. Here there are people performing the following social roles: leader - subordinate, teacher - student, waiter - visitor, etc. In this case, strict adherence to ethical norms and rules of speech culture is necessary. Violations will be immediately noted by the interlocutor and may have consequences.
• Informal (informal)... Communication here is calm and relaxed. There is no need for strict adherence to etiquette. In this situation, dialogues take place between relatives, close friends, classmates. But it is worth noting the fact that when a stranger appears in such a group of people, the conversation from that moment should be built within the framework of speech etiquette.
• Semi-formal. This type has a very vague framework of communicative contacts. Work colleagues, neighbors, and the family as a whole fall under it. People communicate according to the established rules of the team. This is a simple form of communication that has some ethical limitations.

One of the important assets of the people is culture and speech etiquette, which do not exist without each other. Each country has its own ethical standards and rules of communication. They can sometimes seem strange and unusual for a Russian person.

Each culture has its own speech formulas, originating from the origins of the formation of the nation and the state itself. They reflect the prevailing folk habits and customs, as well as the attitude of society towards men and women (as you know, in Arab countries it is considered unethical to touch a girl and communicate with her without the presence of a person accompanying her).

For example, the inhabitants of the Caucasus (Ossetians, Kabardians, Dagestanis and others) have specific features of the greeting. These words are matched to the situation: a person greets a stranger, a guest entering the house, a farmer in different ways. Depends on the beginning of the conversation and on the age. It also differs in gender.

The inhabitants of Mongolia also greet in a very unusual way. The greetings depend on the season. In winter, they can greet a person with the words: “How is winter going? »This habit was left over from a sedentary lifestyle, when I had to constantly move from place to place. In autumn, people may ask: “How much fat does cattle have? "

If we talk about oriental culture, then in China, when they meet, they ask the question whether a person is hungry, whether he has eaten today. And the provincial people of Cambodia ask: "Are you happy today?"

Not only speech norms differ, but also gestures. When Europeans meet, they stretch out their hands for a handshake (men), and if they are very close acquaintances, they kiss on the cheek.

The culture of each nationality is unique and it finds its expression in all spheres of people's life, speech etiquette is also no exception.

For these and other subtleties of speech etiquette, see below.