Rules of conduct in a conflict situation
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The nature of behavior in a given situation is different for everyone. Someone remains quiet and calm, while others, on the contrary, will become hot-tempered and aggressive. When people begin to argue and conflict with each other, then they are more dominated by emotions that turn off the clarity of consciousness, so they often do not even try to hear the opponent. It is important to consider all options for behavior in different life situations.
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How to behave in a conflict situation
If a person is irritated and behaves aggressively, then it is necessary to understand the reason for this behavior, understand the situation and help resolve this problem. And until the conflict issue is resolved, it will be very difficult to come to an agreement with such a person.
When a person "loses his temper", you need to behave calmly and confidently, but arrogance will badly affect aggressiveness, so this quality should be immediately excluded.
When a person is aggressive, then he is overwhelmed with negative emotions, after a period of restraint inside, they are thrown onto others. In a calm and good mood, people behave adequately, in no way taking out their anger on each other. They are quite ready to listen to someone else's opinion.
During a period of aggression, you need to imagine the good moments of the last time and believe that a bad life stage can be experienced. You can also imagine a favorable atmosphere around your aura that brings goodness, peace and comfort.
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You can bring down your partner's aggression by suddenly changing the subject, or by asking him for a confidential conversation or valuable life advice. Remind him of any interesting moments in life that have tied you together, or give him a compliment, for example, "The anger makes you even more beautiful."The main thing is that your positive emotions influence your partner's consciousness and switch his aggression.
In no case should you give your partner negative thoughts. You shouldn't tell him about your emotions or blame him for anything. You can say a more delicate phrase, for example: “I am a little upset by the way you talk to me, let's not conflict anymore? ". Ask your partner to formulate the result of the conversation and solve the problem.
The problem must always be solved, you cannot leave it for later. Otherwise, the difficulties will not go anywhere, but will only multiply and accumulate, and as a result, they will again affect you.
A hostile relationship with the other person can push you away from a wise decision. Don't let your emotions get the best of you, you need to look for compromise solutions.
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Invite the other person to share their thoughts about the situation. You should not look for the right and the wrong, but it is necessary to decide together what to do next... In this case, both opponents must be satisfied with the decision. If it is impossible to agree in an amicable way, then in the conversation you can put emphasis on facts from life, laws, or give many other arguments.
Whatever the outcome, it is not necessary to give, the partner should feel discomfort and defeat.
You cannot respond with aggression to aggression. In no case should you hurt the personal feelings of the interlocutor, otherwise he will not forgive you for this. It is necessary to express your complaint correctly and as briefly as possible. In no case should you insult a person.
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You need to try to generate thoughts in one direction. Even if it seems that you have come to a mutual decision, you should still ask each other a question: “Do I understand you correctly? "Or" Is that what you wanted to say? " This will help you clear up misunderstandings and lead you to the right solution much sooner.
When talking, you need to be on an equal footing. Many in conflicts begin to behave aggressively in response, or try to remain silent and move away from the irritant. You shouldn't do this, you need to keep calm and firm.
Don't be afraid to apologize. If you yourself are wrong in the conversation, then you should apologize and not continue the conflict. Only strong and confident people are able to accept their mistakes. Do not be afraid of this.
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Do not try to prove by force that you are right. If you are trying to prove your point of view by force or aggression, then it is useless.
In conflict situations, it makes no sense to prove something, since a person, apart from his negative emotions, does not see any arguments in front of him. Attempts to suppress such an opponent and "reach out" to him will not lead to positive results.
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We must be the first to shut up. If you see that there is no point in trying to talk in an amicable way, you better try to shut up. You should not demand this from the interlocutor, as this will anger him even more. It's easier for you to shut up yourself during the quarrel. Silence will allow you to stop a conflict situation and get out of it.
In each conflict, two are involved, if the first side falls out of it, then the second does not make sense to continue the quarrel. If not a single partner can shut up, then the conflict will continue and possibly come to assault, which is punishable by law in our time. That's why it is worth by all means to avoid such an outcome, it is better to shut up and ignore the situation that annoys you both.
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It is not necessary to characterize the state of the conflicting person. You should not use foul language, ask emotional questions, or reassure your interlocutor. "Soothing" phrases only provoke negative manifestations.
When leaving the room, do not slam the door loudly. You can avoid fights and conflicts if you quietly and calmly leave the room. Sometimes you just have to say "in the end" an insulting word, or just suddenly slam the door when you exit, and the scandal can resume with renewed vigor and lead to sad consequences.
It is necessary to conduct a dialogue some time after the quarrel. When you are silent, your partner may think that you have given up and exhausted your strength. Take a pause until the person has cooled off from their emotions, and then, with calm nerves, return to resolving issues.
It is not the one who always has the last word that wins, but the one who can stop the conflict in time.
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Behavior strategies
In any life situation, you need to analyze your opponent and then choose the correct strategy of behavior. There are several strategies for dealing with conflicts:
- When a person shies away from conversations or simply does not see the point in them.
- A person tries to compete and does not want to give in in a conflict situation.
- Collaboration is an attempt to meet and help solve a problem.
- Adaptation to the situation - you can make concessions so that the conflict does not develop further.
- Compromise is the most profitable strategy of all of these, because it most often leads to a solution to the problem and the end of a conflict conversation.
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Causes
“Global” reasons for conflict are different:
- Economic or socio-political. When people try to contradict politics or have a different economic worldview.
- Socio-demographic (negative attitude of a person to the opposite sex or to representatives of another nation).
- Socio-psychological reasons are associated with mood, with actions.
- Individual psychological differences in personality affect.
Conflicts are divided by sources of occurrence into the following types:
- emotional (people are incompatible in character in terms of individual psychological characteristics);
- business (usually arising due to the fact that job responsibilities are incorrectly distributed in the production structure).
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The subjective level of acceptance of the conflict is also different:
- erroneous (there were no real reasons for the conflict);
- potential (the prerequisites for an unpleasant conversation were outlined, but the conflict itself, in fact, did not exist);
- true or "real" conflict (the opposition of the participants is open and justified).
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Spheres of origin
Conflicts arise in several areas:
- in social circles (government, rallies, demonstrations with a large crowd of people);
- family (such conflicts usually arise in the circle of relatives, between husband and wife, brother and sister, child and parents);
- production (they arise in connection with production labor in work collectives).
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After conflicts, we all feel empty and depressed, focus on the problem of conflict, waste our nerves and emotions. We need to be more loyal to problems.
Take care of each other, try to solve unpleasant situations peacefully... Know the rules and ethical principles to communicate properly with your boss and colleagues in the office. For conflict-free, effective and constructive communication, you should always have a memo, the use of which is mandatory.
Try to act delicately and in relation to loved ones. Basic rules of ethics and culture of behavior in a conflict situation will help you to build favorable relationships with colleagues, as well as with relatives and friends.
The psychologist will tell you how to behave correctly in conflict situations in the next video.
Kilman Thomas test - strategies for behavior in a conflict situation.