Rules of etiquette: what are the norms of behavior in society
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The rules of conduct are designed to regulate our everyday life in society, help us communicate, set the necessary framework, going beyond which leads at least to ignorance and bad manners, and at most - is regarded as deviant behavior. The rules governing behavior in society are called etiquette.
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What is it?
Etiquette is a set of rules for human behavior towards people in different life situations. There are five groups of basic rules of etiquette:
- ability to present yourself - the rules relate to a person's appearance: dress with taste, take care of your skin and figure, keep your posture, walk beautifully, gesture moderately and to the place;
- the rule of speech and communication - manner and tone of speech, the ability to competently express their lathers, greet, say goodbye, forgive, build a constructive conflict;
- table etiquette - tidiness at the table and while eating, the ability to use cutlery correctly, set the table;
- rules of conduct in society - the ability to behave in public places (museums, theaters, libraries, hospitals, and so on);
- Business Etiquette - the ability to build relationships with colleagues, bosses, the manner of doing business politely and with respect to partners.
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Anyone who is able to use the basic rules gives the impression of a well-mannered and polite person with whom it is pleasant to communicate and build relationships. They are ready to meet such a person, they are happy to do favors and fulfill his requests for help.
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In addition to the main groups of etiquette, there are some gender differences in the rules of conduct for men, women and children.
Good manners rules for men
A well-mannered man should be dressed tastefully and appropriately. He politely communicates with the girl, his speech is calm, devoid of harshness and high tone. He is always ready to help a woman and it does not matter if she is familiar to him or not. For example, picking up heavy bags with groceries for a neighbor in the entrance, opening a car door for a girl and giving her hand or letting her go first at the entrance - this is natural and easy for him. A man should be attentive to women's needs.
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He is also polite with the male sex, does not show his superiority and does not brag. He resolves conflicts by polite dialogue and does not go first on the rampage. He is fair with subordinates, does not raise his voice, treats the work of other people with respect, appreciates their time and effort. In a word, a decent man.
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Basic rules for men:
- if, inviting someone to a restaurant, a man says: “I invite you,” then this means that he is ready to pay for this person;
- walking next to a woman, a man should be on the left side of her, and only military personnel can be on the right to salute if necessary;
- you always need to open the door for a woman and let her in first;
- when leaving the car, you need to open the door and give a hand to the woman;
- help the woman put on her coat and temporarily hold her purse if needed.
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Etiquette for women
All generally binding rules apply to women. A woman must be able to present herself - this applies both to appearance and to the manner of communication... The image must be tasteful and appropriate.
Polite dialogue, tact, modesty, a straight back and a beautiful gait are ideal for a modern woman. She competently renders signs of attention to men.
Frank flirting with a man is inappropriate, as well as excessive obsession, since this behavior is called "frivolity."
When dealing with a man, a woman should be respectful and tactful, but at the same time know her rights. She has the right to refuse obsessive signs of attention and warn a man that he is outside the bounds of what is permissible.
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By nature, more emotional women must skillfully hide negative emotions in society, avoid high tone, swear words and even excessive manifestation of joy.
Basic rules for women:
- you cannot be indoors in a hat and mittens, but you can wear a hat and gloves;
- bright makeup is appropriate only at parties;
- it is necessary to use perfume in moderation: if a woman feels her perfume, then this means that there is too much of it;
- moderation in jewelry is required: do not wear rings over gloves and mitts - you can wear a bracelet, while the maximum number of jewelry, including decorative buttons, is 13 items.
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Code of conduct for children
The first thing parents should remember is that the child imitates them.
Therefore, it is necessary to be the right example for your child in everything and carefully regulate his behavior in public places and on the playground.
Children from two and a half years old are usually happy to greet and say goodbye to everyone - this behavior should be encouraged in relation to familiar adults and children.
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On the playground, their toys are always uninteresting until they interest another child. In this case, you need to offer the children an exchange of toys for a while - so the children will learn to share more calmly and ask permission to play someone else's toy.
Any kid from 3-4 years old, and even more so his parents, should know that it is forbidden to make noise on the bus, run in the store and shout.
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As they grow up, children should be instilled in the correct manner of communication with parents, adults, and in educational institutions - with teachers and educators. Suitable behavior system for children from 6 years old:
- you can not interrupt and interfere in the conversation of adults, be insolent and rude to elders and teachers;
- treat elderly people with courtesy and respect, help them on the street or in transport;
- behave decently in public places: do not run around the hall of the store, do not shout in the museum and theater and similar places.
But when teaching children the rules of etiquette, it is necessary to remember about the safety rules: sometimes children can be too helpful, and criminals can take advantage of this.
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General rules
The following are the current generally accepted rules of conduct:
- Greetings - this is a necessary sign of courtesy to a friend or a person with whom you need to make acquaintance. In addition, upon entering the room, you must first greet.
- Parting... “Leaving in English” is indecent in our society. Therefore, closing the door behind you, it is imperative to say goodbye.
- Gratitude - for the service rendered to the service personnel, for the help of relatives, friends, to a stranger who held the elevator door.
- Decent appearance - neat, clean clothes to the place and according to the weather, as well as maintaining personal hygiene.
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What not to do:
- To come for a visit without notice - you must definitely notify in advance of your visit even to your family and friends, because unexpected guests bring a lot of trouble.
- Read someone else's correspondence and look into someone else's smartphone. A person has the right to privacy.
- Asking uncomfortable questions: asking about salary, asking about personal, if, of course, the interlocutor himself does not touch on the topic of private life.
- Argue and conflict violently. In a conflict situation, a well-mannered person does not shout at his opponent, does not stoop to insults and calmly brings his arguments.
- Enter a closed room without knocking. It is imperative to knock on a closed door both at home and at work, entering the office of a colleague or boss, thereby saving the person outside the door from an awkward situation.
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Below are the rules for public places.
- It is required to maintain silence in the appropriate premises: in a library, hospital, museum, theater, cinema.
- You cannot litter on the street, in the park or any other public places.
- It is forbidden to smoke and drink alcoholic beverages on street benches, and even more so near children's playgrounds.
- Spitting, picking your nose, blowing your nose on the sidewalk is unacceptable - this is not only uncivilized, but also disgusts passers-by.
- Making your way through the crowd, you need to use the following words: "let me go", "allow", "be kind."
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- Going to the theater, restaurant, political event or corporate party, you need to choose the right outfit.
- In a cinema or theater, you need to make your way to your seats facing the seated ones. If the seats are in the middle, then you need to go to them in advance, so as not to cause inconvenience to the extreme sitting spectators.
- You cannot eat during the performance - there is an intermission and a buffet for this.
- After the performance, a man should go to the wardrobe himself and take a coat for his lady, while helping her put it on.
- You shouldn't talk loudly in the museum, you shouldn't push your way to the exhibits. There is no need to rush - you should calmly move from one exhibit to another and not touch them with your hands. It is necessary to listen to the guide and not interrupt him, ask questions only after he asks about it.
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- Drying the umbrella in any room should be closed.
- You cannot put the phone on the table at a party, restaurants, or during an interview - this is a sign of disrespect, which is regarded as unwillingness to communicate with the interlocutor.
- More bags, travel bags, briefcases cannot be put on the table in a restaurant or cafe. Bags are hung on the arm of a chair, and a briefcase or travel bag is placed next to the chair on the floor. Only a small, elegant handbag is allowed on the table.
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Public transport etiquette
The rules are as follows:
- When entering any public transport or metro, you must skip those leaving.
- You need to go directly to the empty seats, do not linger at the door.
- Give way to the elderly, pregnant women and women with children and people with limited mobility.
- If you hit someone or accidentally push, you need to apologize.
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Store etiquette
Rules:
- When entering the store, you first need to let the people go out, then let the first pregnant women, the elderly and people with limited mobility, and only then go in yourself.
- You cannot enter the store with animals, a lit cigarette and ice cream.
- The seller should be thanked for the service.
- Defective merchandise must be returned with a courteous explanation.
- The queue at the store must be respected, but women with small children, pregnant women and people with limited mobility should be allowed ahead.
General rules of decency are a tool that regulates the framework that should not be exceeded in society.
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Subtleties of communication
The psychological component of our life is communication. In primitive society, people communicated only through gestures and sounds. Now it happens in different ways. In the modern world, there are two main types of communication:
- Verbal - with the help of speech. This is the most basic way the entire planet communicates.
- Non-verbal - with the help of gestures, facial expressions and feelings: tactile, visual, auditory, olfactory. Not only people, but also animals communicate with the help of feelings and gestures.
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Communication regulates relationships in everyday life, at work, in family life, that is, absolutely in any area of life. Therefore, it will not be superfluous to know about some of the subtleties that will help you understand others and be understood yourself:
- Ability to listen and hear... Listening helps to understand a person's feelings. It is very important for us to be heard, and therefore people with this ability immediately inspire trust and gratitude. To learn how to listen, you need to tune in to the interlocutor who wants to convey their feelings or expectations. To do this, you need to leave your thoughts for a while, listen and not interrupt him until the person speaks out and begins to expect advice from the listener.
- The ability to express your negative feelings is mandatory in family life. It is important to express feelings correctly and not offend a partner, to tell about the accumulated grievances in time, because he may not even guess what is happening in the heart of a loving person, because no one has yet learned to read other people's thoughts.
It is important to do this without reproach and shouting, and you need to remember that resentment comes on an act, not on a person. And you should also convey that such an act offended, and ask you not to do it again - an emotionally mature person will understand and will never do this again.
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- Ability to express wishes and requests. If a person wants his desires to be fulfilled, you need to do without hints and ask directly, politely and in an understandable manner. Give thanks in advance, using the word "please" several times, as children do, because this little trick often works.
- Ability to communicate with a negative person. The impact of a negative person can lead to despondency and even depression, deprive confidence and lower self-esteem.
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That is why you should avoid such a "comrade", but if you do not get away from communication, for example, with your boss, then you should adhere to the following recommendations:
- It is necessary to abstract and not take the insults that are inflicted on them personally.
- Stay calm, prove your case with confidence and restraint, fending off facts. Usually such people crave scandal, the same reaction to their anger and anger, but cold restraint can confuse them.
A person is negatively influenced not only by such brawlers, but also by another category of people who constantly complain - they suck out all positive emotions in the same way. You can get tired of communicating with them. The best way is to avoid communicating with such people, or you can try to distract them with an interesting news or topic.... But do not tell them about your successes, as this will give a new wave of complaints and cause for envy.
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Etiquette at a party and at the table
Knowledge of the culture of behavior at a party and at the table will help a person not to get into a mess and not be branded as ignorant. The following points of etiquette are given for those who like not only to receive guests, but also often come to visit themselves.
Recommendations for receiving guests:
- the owner of the house meets the guests on the doorstep and helps to undress, then the hostess escorts the newcomers to the table and introduces the guests present;
- guests should be entertained with conversation, but not impose topics for communication, and viewing home photos and videos only at the request of all those present;
- it is necessary to ensure that all guests have the necessary cutlery at the table.
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Recommendations for guests:
- do not be late;
- a cultured and polite guest does not come empty-handed - flowers, a bottle of wine or sweets will be an appropriate gift for the hostess;
- if it is a small dinner or lunch, then it is imperative to praise the culinary abilities of the hostess, at large receptions this is inappropriate;
- bad form - to sit silently and not communicate with the rest of the guests, you need to maintain a conversation;
- you cannot leave without goodbye, you should thank the hosts for the evening and politely say goodbye to the rest of the guests.
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Table etiquette guidelines:
- Women sit down at the table first, men help them in this by moving a chair.
- They don't put their elbows on the table - only the hands are allowed, and besides, the elbows should be pressed while eating.
- You need to eat slowly, chewing food thoroughly. It is not allowed to sip or smack your lips.
- The meat should be cut into small pieces, while holding the knife in the right hand, and the fork in the left, it is necessary to eat from the fork. Eating with a knife is unacceptable.
- In between meals, the fork and knife are not left on the tablecloth, but placed crosswise on the plate. Between changing dishes, the fork and knife are also left on an empty plate, but already parallel to each other, while the knife is placed to the right of the fork.
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- Before drinking from a glass, you need to blot your mouth with a napkin so as not to leave greasy stains on it.
- In the event that all the dishes are already on the table, you need to take them only with special devices set aside for each individual dish, and in no case with your own spoon.
- It is unacceptable to use a toothpick at the table.
- You can not talk with your mouth full, and also leave the table without chewing food to the end.
- If an attack of sneezing or coughing has begun, then you need to use a napkin.
- You should not force your neighbor at the table to try this or that dish - everyone has their own taste preferences.
- A light and pleasant conversation should be conducted at the table.
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Rules for meeting parents
In an effort to make a good impression on the parents of the other half, people make stupid mistakes. Therefore, when visiting the parents of your loved one, you need to follow the following recommendations:
- Do not come empty-handed, but also do not give your father halves of alcohol at the first meeting. Better to bring flowers to mom or a cake to the table.
- You should not start a conversation first - it is better to wait until they contact you.
- It is necessary to behave modestly, not to flatter or praise the interior of the house.
- You should not give up treats, it is worth remembering that the future mother-in-law or mother-in-law cooked for you - you need to try to eat a little of everything and praise the hostess.
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- There is no need to get carried away with alcohol - it is better to try to stretch one glass of wine longer.
- Girls should not smoke on their first visit to their parents.
- It is necessary to take care of a decent appearance. Guys should wear pants and a shirt, or jeans and a shirt, but never wear shorts. A girl should avoid short shorts, skirts and dresses with a deep neckline and cutouts.
- You should politely answer your parents' questions, avoid telling jokes, and avoiding silly jokes.
- When leaving, you should definitely invite your parents to visit you.
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Ability to dress
Nice and tidy appearance, personal hygiene are the natural duties of any person.No one will be pleased to communicate with a person who smells unpleasant. Simple things like showering every day, brushing your teeth, and caring for your skin must be done.
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It is important to choose your wardrobe correctly, which should contain things for all occasions.
In this case, it is imperative to take into account the parameters of the figure so that the thing fits well and does not seem small, or, conversely, large.
When choosing the color of a thing, you need to rely on the color of the skin, face and eyes. Each person has his own color type:
- Winter - the skin can be either almost white or dark, hair - black or dark.
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- Spring - blonde hair and eyes, thin skin, pink lips.
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- Summer - light blond, ash-colored hair. Gray, gray-blue, green, light brown eyes. Grayish beige and slightly pink skin tone, pale pink lips.
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- Autumn - golden skin, warm shades of eyes (brown, golden, dark brown), hair from golden to red shades.
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For color types, winter and summer are well suited for things of cold shades, for spring and autumn - warm, pastel.
The wardrobe itself is divided into the following categories:
- Everyday... Jeans, T-shirts, shirts, various pullovers and sweaters will be appropriate here. Women can include simple cut dresses and skirts, in summer - sundresses and shorts. Such clothes are convenient for meeting friends, going shopping, walking in the park, or going with children to the circus or museum.
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- Business... Trouser suits for men and women are suitable; for the latter, you can also use strict dresses and knee-length skirts, light plain or pinstripe shirts - in a word, classic clothes for going to work, interviews, business meetings, political events.
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- Formal or evening. Suitable for theaters, concerts, restaurants, cultural exhibitions and fashion shows, corporate parties. More free and elegant than a business wardrobe, but not overly open and even more vulgar. Men wear tuxedos or classic suits with a jacket, women wear dresses, light iridescent fabrics are also allowed, floor-length dresses with a cutout on the back, leg or deep neckline.
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- Sports... Such clothes are suitable exclusively for sports or active pastime: hiking in the forest or mountains, skiing or snowboarding, ice skating. It is unacceptable to work out in the gym in jeans and boots - this is not only not according to the rules, but also unsafe. Sportswear stretches well, does not have decorative elements that can get stuck in the simulator. Of the shoes, only light sneakers that hold the entire foot well.
Before going to the gym or doing any sports, you must remove all jewelry, otherwise they can not only deteriorate, but also harm your health.
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These basic dress code rules will help you choose the right clothes for the occasion.
See the next video for more on this.
Business culture
Business etiquette is a set of rules governing the relationship between employees, business partners, boss and subordinate.
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But business relationships are built not only on the basis of etiquette, since it only establishes an external form of behavior. A person must have an inner culture and be guided by moral principles. In Russia at the beginning of the 20th century, the principles of business etiquette were determined, and today they have not changed:
- respect for law and authority;
- following honesty and truthfulness;
- respect for private property rights;
- loyalty to word and promise;
- living within one's means;
- competition that does not go beyond the bounds of morality and law.
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Business etiquette:
- honesty and reliability - without these qualities it is impossible to build long-term and effective partnerships and business relationships;
- Obligation - a person who is obligatory and true to his word, inspires trust and respect, which is very important for formal relationships;
- observance of subordination - the official subordination regulates the powers of employees, distributes responsibilities and competencies;
- dedication to professional work and the company - the employees who are most loyal and loyal to their company are valued by the management, they are trusted and respected by the management.
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In addition to these basic rules, do not forget about kindness, courtesy and a smile. It is worth completing all tasks on time and avoiding grammatical errors when drafting documentation - this can ruin your professional reputation. Don't be late for official appointments and work.
Healthy competition between colleagues will not hurt, but do not forget about the ability to work in a team, as this is the best tool for achieving the goals of the company. It is necessary to remember about the appearance.
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All the rules of etiquette described are a way to treat people the way you would like them to treat you. It is unpleasant for anyone to face rudeness and manifestation of outright anger towards themselves.
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Business success is always built on the communication of various aspects of the marketing process. In modern business relationships, the ability to give feedback correctly is invaluable. Learn more about the principles of effective feedback in the next video.
Thanks.