How to understand that a guy is cheating, and what to do?

Many consider love to be the main meaning of human life. It is this feeling that drives all our lightest motives, inspires and inspires us, but under one important condition - the feeling should be mutual. Unfortunately, not all relationships are cloudless, and even the most harmonious alliances go through various difficult tests. One of these tests is the betrayal of a loved one.

Representatives of the fair sex often ask questions about what a man lacks next to a woman and what exactly pushes him to cheating. What is the psychology of cheating in general? It is wrong to believe that only polygamous masculine nature is to blame. After all, it so happens that, leaving one companion, a guy starts a relationship with another girl and behaves much better towards her, treats her more reverently, shows more care and does not even think about cheating, especially at first when passion boils in his blood, and from the surging feelings literally dizzy. But this candy-bouquet period is rather fleeting, and more often than not, it is followed by a more calm and measured stage of the relationship, in which the first serious quarrels and difficulties can appear.

Of course, there is definitely a woman's fault in a man's betrayal.This does not mean specifically her fault in front of him, but first of all in front of herself, that at some point she forgot about herself, completely dissolved in a person, fixated on him. Perhaps the man gave some signs, wanted a break in the relationship, as it is often called, a little fresh air. Perhaps the relationship needed a pause, because separation is also measured by love.

During breakups, people have time to rethink their relationship., reconsider the situation, and it often happens that after a truce, the situation in a couple becomes much better. True, it also happens the other way around, when people in separation finally understand that their union no longer has and cannot have a future. And even in this situation there is a plus: the lack of a result is also a result, and you will not waste your precious years of life on meaningless and hopeless relationships. How the situation is resolved will depend on each specific case and on the behavior of the man and woman.

Before dramatizing and talking about the betrayal of the second half, you must first make sure if there are real grounds for mistrust and if everything is really as bad as it seems, or is it just paranoia and fictions of violent girlish fantasy. If a man does not call for a long time, perhaps he is not deceiving you, but he is really busy at an important meeting and that is why he cannot answer an incoming call. Or, perhaps, a fateful coincidence of circumstances intervened, and your loved one did not answer the phone for two hours due to the accidentally activated silent mode in the mobile phone.

But we must not forget: the more time a girl winds herself up with conjectures and guesses, the more negativity accumulates in her. and the more likely outbursts of anger and jealousy when sorting out a relationship with a dear person. And this will definitely not contribute to the strengthening of the union. On the contrary, in a man the confidence will grow stronger that next to him is a hysterical and dissatisfied woman who is not self-confident. In this case, it is better to follow the principle: "Do not follow the man, but rather watch yourself." But at the same time, if such alarming cases are repeated constantly, you cannot close your eyes to the situation and pretend that nothing strange is happening, and you do not notice anything at all.

Many women who were cheated on often noticed that during a quarrel, in a fit of anger, a man could in the heat of the moment throw some phrase that served as a kind of "wake-up call", for example: "If you bother me, I'll go to another!" or “I can’t stand your tantrums, there are girls with a much better character than yours!”. Of course, such statements do not appear out of the blue. At such moments, it is really worthwhile to be wary and reconsider your attitude to the current situation.

Some women have such a subtle sense of intuition that even at a distance they feel that something is wrong. They notice how a man behaves, not like before, and mentally is not next to her, but hovers somewhere in the clouds. A sign of betrayal can be regular unanswered calls, more frequent late arrivals of your half under any plausible excuses, for example, increased employment at work or meeting with an old friend or acquaintance. Perhaps he is not lying to you, but was really busy, but with frequent delays and excuses, there is reason to be wary.

But it can be extremely difficult to understand exactly what a person has changed without catching him by the hand, unless there are any obvious signs of treason, which include:

• messages with a romantic context, not addressed to you;
• lipstick marks on clothes;
• subtle scent of alien female perfume;
• availability of contraceptives (in case you do not use them with a man).

Recognizing if a man is cheating is often very difficult. In these matters in the male environment, they adhere to the principle of non-disclosure and strict secrecy. As in an old anecdote: “I called my husband’s friends to find out where he was: he spent the night with six, and was still sleeping with four!”. Men often try to hide the fact of infidelity to the last, unless they have already firmly decided to leave for another woman whom they fell in love with and with whom they decided to start a family or start a serious relationship. And this, alas, also often happens.

The most offensive thing about cheating is the feeling that you are neglected, you are being betrayed, because it is your self-respect that suffers most of all, so it is so difficult to survive cheating. Only people who are dishonest in this matter (also cheating) or who do not like their companion at all can tolerate betrayal. In these cases, the couple can continue to exist when the woman pursues some selfish goals and rationally approaches the issue of relationships, lives at the expense of the man or uses him in some other way. In such cases, love is usually out of the question, and the fact of betrayal is perceived calmly and even with relief: “Well, finally! Found myself someone. Maybe he will bother me less now. " However, such situations are rare.

A loving woman, upon learning about treason, is always shocked. Her feelings often replace each other: from anger and rage to passion and desire to return a loved one. At this time, her emotional state is very unstable, and psychologists really do not recommend making important decisions in a rage. It is important to weigh everything and think it over, try to regain self-control, refrain from insulting your mistress and unfaithful husband, and this is sometimes extremely difficult to do. The best option in this case is distance. How often has everyone heard the saying: "To keep - you need to let go." But it's easy to say, and difficult to do in real life. It is difficult to imagine that now you will not be able to fall asleep and wake up with your already dear man. In this case, volitional behavior will play a decisive role: will there be enough willpower to part with the changed person, will it be possible to keep all the angry feelings inside and not run to his first whistle.

It is important to realize that if you behave correctly and let the man go, while maintaining your face, without insults and curses in the trail, then after a while it will become easier for you yourself, you will feel that you behaved beautifully, restraining aggression and anger. The better the impression you leave when parting, the higher the likelihood of a new prosperous relationship with another person who will love and appreciate you, because the whole world has not converged in a wedge on one man. In fact, there are many decent and good people with whom you can create a couple and build a successful relationship.

After parting with a man, a woman needs to diversify her leisure time as much as possible, for example, sign up for fitness or cutting and sewing courses. It's not so important where exactly to start going - the main thing is that she has as little free time as possible, which could be spent on sadness and resentment, on memories and regrets. After parting with a dear person, everyone experiences pain and suffering.Unfortunately, it is not so easy to get rid of them, and the best doctor, as you know, is time. But you can significantly ease your feelings by reconsidering your attitude to the current situation, and try not to concentrate on your negative emotions, stop thinking about your failure. It is best to do something useful for yourself and your close relatives, who are so in need of care and affection, because they are the ones who will never betray and will always love us as we are.

Unfortunately, there are often broken families with children, in which wives manipulate parent-child relations during divorce, forbid the father to see his own children in order to keep the husband and have leverage over him. It is categorically not recommended to do this, because the child is not at all to blame that his dad fell in love with another woman and no longer wants to live with his biological mother. Ideally, the child should not observe scandals and parental proceedings. It will be more pleasant for all parties to the conflict if the issue is resolved by peaceful diplomatic means, in which children will not suffer.

Whether it is worth forgiving betrayal, it is up to the woman herself to decide, first of all. If a man has reconsidered his behavior and sincerely regrets, then, of course, he can and should be forgiven, because everyone has the right to make a mistake. But it is important to remember that if you forgive a man, then it is better not to remind him of this incident any more at the first convenient conflict. It also happens that a man realizes too late that he was wrong and in vain went on about his feelings, and his ex-girlfriend or wife is already happy with another person.

How to find out that a man is cheating, see the next video.