Female infidelity: reasons, methods of detection and advice from a psychologist

Female infidelity is not like male infidelity. It has its own mechanisms of development, its reasons are always strikingly different from those of men. And therefore, female infidelity will manifest itself differently. Its features, as well as how to identify the betrayal of a wife or girlfriend, will be discussed in this article.

It so happened that a woman's infidelity to her chosen one is condemned by society more strictly and categorically than a man's betrayal, although if you look at the situation from the outside, then representatives of both sexes have equal rights to adultery. Another question is that men experience betrayal more strongly. Self-esteem of the representative of the stronger sex, deceived by his beloved woman, falls, and his ability to work productively and interact with the world around him suffers. The consequences of female infidelity can be devastating. Much more serious than the consequences of male adultery.

Many are stopped by the ancient instinct to preserve the hearth, many fear the consequences of a "tarnished" reputation. It is only in the speeches of politicians that the two sexes are equal; in life, a woman is still allowed and allowed by society much less than a man.

The psychology of a woman is such that she always attaches great importance to relationships, and relationships on the side will not be an exception. Light flirting for one night is not about women. If treason takes place, then the situation is nowhere more serious. Therefore, the deceived spouse, no matter how painful it may be, needs to start not with collecting a suitcase and incriminating the wrong "traitor", but with a search for reasons, including in himself.Only after that it will be necessary to answer the question of what to do next.

If a woman has cheated, you can believe that she had very good motives for it. A woman appreciates the emotional side of a relationship; without her, a relationship loses all meaning for a lady. Therefore, one of the main reasons for female infidelity can be considered the search for emotional contact, understanding, support on the side, if such concepts no longer exist in marriage. Tired of inattention, callousness of her husband, lack of support and help, a woman is looking for in another man not sex and not an orgasm, she needs to talk, cry, feel desired, loved, beautiful, tender, such as she has not felt in the family circle for a long time ...

At the same time, she runs the risk of truly getting closer and spiritually related to that second man, which may well destroy the marriage, since she does not want to change something in this. Often at this stage, women either confess their infidelity or completely abandon intimate life with their husbands. To live with two partners at once, as men-cheaters often do, the fair sex usually cannot, with rare exceptions.

Women who cheat for a long time usually do it with the same partner., their change is not included in her plans, women usually do not "collect" victories on the love front.

Cheating "on the occasion" (alcohol, corporate party, and so on) among the fair sex is very rare. Specialists in such spontaneous cheating are usually men. And also most women do not tend to cheat for the sake of satisfying sexual needs, which for some reason are not met in marriage.

It is for such reasons, as well as under the influence of fear of losing their jobs, women cheat with their bosses and higher-ranking employees. Quite rarely, but there are married cheaters who pursued purely mercantile goals - to get money for sex, expensive gifts.

Women are touchy, and men shouldn't forget about it. Therefore, among the reasons for female adultery, not the last place is given to betrayal out of a sense of revenge - in response to the previous betrayal of a spouse, to a strong offense, pain that he caused her.

Women can cheat out of boredom. And it is true. If there is no room in the family for a drop of romance, and at the same time the woman has a lot of free time to analyze and sort out pleasant memories in her memory and heart, then one day there may be a need to feel them again, but with another man, because this one is forever busy and cooled down for a long time.

The main difference between female infidelity and male infidelity is that it can be prevented. There are such borderline stages of a relationship in which a man can already notice the inner readiness of his life friend to go "to the left", and then he can still change the situation if he is interested in this and loves his companion.

More than others, independent women who earn more than their husbands and occupy a high position on the career ladder are prone to adultery. Adultery is more likely if a woman has a higher level of education than a man, if there are no common interests and hobbies.

Women are more sensitive to the feelings of others, and therefore any unfaithful girl or married woman usually carefully conceals the fact of adultery, fearing to be misunderstood and condemned by society. On the one hand, it is always more difficult to notice a woman’s infidelity than a man’s, and on the other, it’s easier, because a woman’s behavior changes. The more serious the relationship outside of marriage becomes, the more tangible it becomes in marriage.

Women who have something to hide become more anxious and alert. They no longer leave their mobile phone anywhere, hastily close the message window if you approach them from the back while chatting with someone on the Internet.The phone turns out to be password protected.

A woman blossoms, changes outwardly. A new hobby forces her to be more attentive to her own appearance - she often visits the hairdresser, does not leave the house without makeup, she always has well-groomed hands, a lot of new clothes have appeared, and especially underwear and stockings.

With the advent of a new partner, a woman, as a rule, has many new friends with whom the “husband is unfamiliar” and whom she is not going to introduce to him. She doesn't take her husband to parties with them. They often stay overnight. The amount of sex in marriage is significantly reduced, and gradually this, infrequent one is coming to naught - women always have many reasons why they don’t need sex at the moment (headache, menstruation has begun, menstruation has not ended, stomach hurts, tired, and so on Further).

As the relationship develops outside of marriage, the woman becomes less tolerant of the actions and judgments of her husband. She begins to be annoyed by his touches and jokes, his manner of eating pasta with his hands from a frying pan in his underpants in the middle of the night, the smell of his cologne. On the other hand, control is lost. If a woman used to often call and wondered where her husband was when she arrived, now she is completely calm, even if he stays with friends or at work for a long time, does not bother, does not call and does not require explanations. It would seem that this is exactly what my husband wanted quite recently, but not everything is so simple. Now her silence and dismissal of him begin to strain.

Anything can be forgiven, including female infidelity. But forgiveness will require from a man a certain determination, courage and adulthood, the ability to cope with his grievances and a great desire to keep the family together. Moreover, you need to forgive, whatever the decision. Even if it is impossible to keep the family any longer, it will be better for everyone if the cheater knows that she has been forgiven and released in peace, and it will be much easier and more comfortable for the man himself to live on and build his life from the position of a person who carries the desire for revenge in his soul ...

Another question is whether it is worth forgiving. A man must answer it alone. Without seeking advice from relatives and friends. Only himself, because no one knows so well what exactly this woman and relationship with her means for him. It makes sense to ask this question only after the first wave of indignation, resentment, bewilderment and indignation subside. It will be better if the spouses live separately for this time. When the understanding comes that everything has already happened, that nothing can be changed, then acceptance will occur, and after that, you need to start a conversation with your wife about what will happen next.

This will not bring relief, but will only alienate you from her, and her from you. You need to speak respectfully, not get personal, not blame or reproach. It is important to listen to her position, to understand why she acted exactly the way she sees your future relationship.

If a woman sincerely regrets and regrets, promises never to do this again, if she wants to keep the family together, it is quite possible for both to improve relations, but this, of course, will take time and mutual efforts. It is very important for a man to step over his own pride and understand that there is a share in his partner's betrayal and his guilt, and then the couple will only have to understand what correction should be made to the relationship in order to eliminate further misunderstanding.

It is important for a man to understand that with his forgiveness he does not oblige his wife to anything. She is not obliged to humiliate herself in front of him, to serve him for the rest of her life, just because he generously forgave her, the unfaithful one.If forgiveness is voiced, it means that never, under any circumstances, in any quarrel, a man has no right to remind about this case, reproach or accuse his wife, blackmail her with this. For such families, alas, the forecasts are unfavorable.

It may also happen that the woman herself does not want to continue the relationship. This is possible if she really fell in love and does not want to deceive anyone anymore. In this case, nothing can be done - forcibly, as they say, you will not be nice. It is important to preserve your human dignity, not to break loose and not blame her, but simply to adequately discuss the details of the divorce, or leave them to her discretion.

There are not so many families who managed to restore relations after a serious test of female infidelity, but they exist. And if the partners do everything right, then their relationship may become even better than it was before.

It is this question that can rightfully be considered the main one. As already mentioned, female infidelity can almost always be prevented, everything will depend on how much a man needs a relationship with this particular woman.

It is ideal to start a relationship with an honest approach. - do not try to load the chosen one with gifts and shower with compliments at every step - time will pass, romance will diminish, and then the woman will feel deceived, deceived. Be yourself.

The more keenly the husband is interested in the problems, experiences and events of his wife, the higher the degree of trust between them, the better the relationship develops. Remember that wives can only go to the fact that they listen better, understand more, participate more often, advise, help, and not at all to the one who knows more poses from the Kama Sutra.

Respect the woman and her privacy. Trust her. Don't try to control your wife. Even if you have a lot of work and are very busy, take time to just talk to her, be alone.

Marriage unions are very much held together by common interests and hobbies, joint hobbies and leisure time spent together.

If a man thinks about how to prevent cheating, if he has already felt “alarming” changes in his wife, then he will mistakenly roll up scandals and monitor her, restrict her movements and freedom of communication, meet her from work and read her messages on her mobile phone. It is much more correct to pull yourself together, not to offend a person without proof, but to try to simply change the relationship by starting to pay more attention to his wife.

If cheating on you is fancy, then the woman will be pleasantly surprised at the changes in you, which she has been waiting for so long, and will accept them with pleasure. If she already has her own, second life, the options may be different. It happens that at this stage, husbands manage to return their loved ones and keep the family together.