Life after infidelity: how to behave and is it possible to keep the relationship?

All spouses want absolute fidelity from their partner. Unfortunately, a fleeting infatuation can end in betrayal. It is worth considering in more detail why betrayal occurs, what are their consequences, how to find the strength to survive the situation, is it easy to regain the partner's trust and continue to build family relationships.

The essence of betrayal is the impossibility of full realization of a person in the family. The following factors are most often contributing to adultery:

• physiology - leaping hormones;
• striving for diversity (a kind of experiment) - it is curious to know how to have sex with another person;
• dissatisfaction with basic needs.

Care, attention, affection, tenderness in a relationship is needed by two halves of a married couple. It is important for a person to feel loved. Everyday life and hardships of everyday life are so absorbed that less warmth and attention goes to a loved one. Ardent and tender feelings gradually fade away. Often, intimate life is reduced to a mechanical process. Romance and understanding fade over time. Conflicts, quarrels, scandals for the slightest reason push a person to search for a "soul mate" on the side. Not least is the spiteful silence, which gives the impression that the spouses have a hard time tolerating each other.

Crisis moments fall on 3, 7, 14, 21 years of marriage. It is necessary to adequately overcome the stage of family formation, the birth of children, their growing up. The relationship of the spouses is affected by the syndrome of the empty nest: the children have grown up and left their father's house.Parents suddenly discover that they were only tied by children. There was nothing to talk about, interests diverged. Retirement brings on the fear of aging. I want to prove to myself that you are not old yet. Searching for an adventure with a young lady is not excluded.

Adultery happens like an atomic bomb. First, along with the flash, bright and warm light rushes in, and then complete devastation sets in. A dead field, ashes remains around. The heart and feelings of the one who betrayed his half are completely burned out. Situational betrayal often occurs. Due to certain circumstances, this happened once. The unfaithful spouse is interested in preserving the family, he experiences a sense of guilt and incredible shame, so he is trying with all his might to hide the betrayal.

But the partner found out about it. Adultery is perceived as a betrayal of the secret of their love. Jealousy, anger, resentment gnaws at the soul mate. It is impossible to justify meanness. Trust is destroyed. The very first desire that arises after unpleasant news is to immediately break off the relationship. The self-esteem of the partner suffers, who frantically begins to look for the reason in himself. The old life will no longer be there. It takes a lot of effort so that the ridiculous mistake does not destroy the family. The couple must gain strength to go through the tests and reach a new level of relationship.

After situational changes, family relationships can and should be preserved. The hardest thing is to forgive and again trust the person who betrayed you, who has done an act that can destroy love, break family ties. You can forget, forgive, but live as you did before. In a relationship, there will no longer be the former ease. Family happiness will not return to the house soon.

If you have been cheated on, you should not engage in self-flagellation. No need to make accusations, claims to your partner. In a fit of anger, you can say a lot of unnecessary words, which subsequently adversely affect your relationship. Try to answer yourself the question of why the cheating happened. Despair, a bleeding wound on the heart, anxiety, confusion drive a person into depression. You can cry, but quietly, without witnesses.

It is best to seek help from a family psychologist. It will help you get out of depression. It would be nice to choose a suitable forum on the Internet and communicate incognito there. The issue will be resolved only by two: husband and wife. Third parties do not need to be involved in the situation. Not all friends know how to keep secrets and give good advice. Every effort must be made not to entangle your children. Family discord inflicts severe trauma on them, which is difficult for the child's psyche to cope with. Your personal problems should not concern them.

If the couple lived in a civil marriage, then it is recommended to immediately legalize the relationship. If the marriage was not crowned, then be sure to go through the Sacrament of Wedding. A person cannot stay the same after the wedding. It is advisable for Orthodox people to visit the church with the whole family on the day off, to perform the Sacraments of Confession and Communion. Visiting the temple together will help you overcome pain, unite your family, and love each other more than ever before.

In case of your infidelity, your wife should behave very patiently after the betrayal. You need to be prepared for a violent reaction from your partner. Allow the person to vent their emotions. You will have to have a lot of patience to endure crying, reproaches, scattering things, burning joint photographs. It is much worse if your soul mate has withdrawn into itself, does not want to talk to you and sort things out. This does not at all mean indifference to the situation. The partner hid his feelings and emotions deeply, and the mental pain from this becomes even stronger.

The reunion will not happen overnight. You don't need to push the conversation on your partner. In this situation, not words will help, but actions. We'll have to resume the courtship period, show increased attention. But there is no need to overwhelm your spouse with expensive gifts and flowers. There must be a measure in everything, otherwise the opposite result can be achieved. You need to tune in to the fact that your life together will change dramatically. At first, it will be difficult for your soul mate to overpower himself in order to kiss you before leaving for work, to smile warmly at you, and even more so to have sex in the same way as before. Cold relationships are guaranteed for a while. Don't force things.

If they cheated on you, then in no case look for a sexual partner for yourself to take revenge on your husband or wife. This will only worsen an already difficult situation. It is better to think about how to prevent resentment from taking root in your soul, set your priorities correctly in order to understand what is more important at the moment: long-term love, joint children, common plans, strong friendship or a passing partner's passion. It is necessary to listen to a loved one, to understand what he needs, what is missing. You will have to give all of yourself completely to the family, work a lot on relationships. Under no circumstances should you reproach, but in quarrels, remember the fact of treason. It is advisable to try to get this unpleasant event out of your head forever.

It would be nice for the two of us to go on vacation, to have a joint photo session. A visit to the gym, practicing an accessible sport helps to strengthen the life together. Regular activity outside the apartment will help keep the family together. You should visit parks, museums, theaters together. Children should be involved in organizing family leisure activities. In the evening, it is advisable to gather with the whole family, to talk. Any joint work will unite the family.

Wisdom is required to repair broken trusting relationships. Learning to trust a loved one again is not easy. Any delay at work will arouse heartbreaking suspicions. We'll have to start a relationship from scratch - again learn to love each other. A person who has lost confidence is like an offended child. Suspiciousness, vulnerability, moodiness are a normal and natural state. Infidelity hurt the partner's pride. Trust cannot be restored overnight. Everything has its time. It is necessary to make a person understand that the old is in the past. A new stage begins.

You need to increase the importance of your soul mate. It is advisable to convince the wife that the rival loses to her in all respects. A number of agreements should be adopted. It is better to avoid omissions and understatements. All suspicions should be reported immediately. The following conditions will help restore trust:

• keeping a distance for some time;
• voluntary provision of passwords, accounts to your soul mate;
• partial narrowing of the partner's space: checking e-mail, diary, phone, social networks;
• removal of all suspicious contacts in the presence of the second half.

If adultery happened in the workplace, and the partner quit in order to save the family, then such an act will definitely arouse the confidence of his half. The time of checks must be completed after the final forgiveness of the spouse. The return of personal space to a partner does not need to be delayed for a long time. After the passed test, family relationships are restored and strengthened.

If your spouse cheated on you, you should not rush from one extreme to another. The first of them is that it is difficult, almost impossible to cope with the misfortune, so you will have to divorce. Or the second extreme - he will disappear without me, and I love him too - let him walk, it's okay, I'll survive somehow. Don't make quick decisions. You need to wait until the stress has passed, and you begin to think sanely and judiciously. You should not listen to those friends, girlfriends and relatives who repeat about the immediate expulsion of the wrong half.

Scandals will only worsen the situation. A quick forgiveness can lead your soul mate to the idea that nothing terrible has happened, you can continue in the same spirit. Don't try to pour alcoholic drinks on your grief. Do not find out the details of the intimate relationship, otherwise facts may be revealed, after which reconciliation will definitely not take place. You should not look for a meeting with a person who turned out to be your rival or rival. It's beneath your dignity. Moreover, do not try to offend or humiliate a person. After all, your partner chose him for some reason.

If a man in the evening from work is met by a grumpy and disgruntled wife, then he involuntarily begins to compare her with other women. True love in a family comes from hard daily work. Initial passion and love will gradually fade away. They are gradually replaced by a deep feeling, which contributes to filling the whole family space with true love. When the family has love, peace and harmony in everything, betrayal is a priori impossible.

For information on how to survive betrayal and keep a family, see the next video.