Patterned thinking: definition and tips to overcome

Refrigerator, sofa, wardrobe, husband, preparations for the winter - this is how most women imagine their home, calling it a "full bowl". And according to generally accepted rules, it is so. However, if you look at the bottom of this very bowl, it is easy to see a lot of cracks. The refrigerator is empty, the sofa creaks, the closet is full of clothes from student days, the husband is often late at work. But it is often difficult for a lady to get out of this vicious circle only because it is “not accepted”. And by this example, there are millions, because for them it is a template. This is how our stereotyped thinking manifests itself.

Patterned thinking is not an innate ability, but an acquired one... And the longer we live, the more the framework stands around us. The child is taught that semolina and fish oil are good, and chocolate is bad. He listens attentively and even pretends to agree, but how to disagree, after all, he wants mom and dad to be happy, and there is no particular choice. And reaching a conscious age, the child suddenly discovers that sweets are tastier than oatmeal and more often than not they throw themselves on the “forbidden fruit”.

Then there will be even more talk about what is “good” and what is “bad”. I didn't go to college - it's a bad thing. Not married until 23 years old - unhappy. Didn't build a career until 30 - a loser.

Maybe things are not so bad? Having received a working profession in college, you can earn many times more than a university graduate receives. You can get married later, but not for the first person you meet, but for a really worthy person.And it's never too late to start a hike up the career ladder. But it is easy to say, what will others think about this?

Very often, this thought not only deprives us of simple human happiness, but also closes the road to, possibly, outstanding discoveries and achievements. Did Malevich, creating his "Black Square", think what critics would talk about him? And Bulgakov, while working on his works, was afraid of the condemnation of the crowd?

The same applies to scientific discoveries and research in the field of medicine, biology, astronomy. None of this would have happened if everyone lived exclusively according to the laws that are dictated to us at every step of our life. There are, of course, rules that, to break, would be contrary to common sense. You need to sleep, eat, drink. The whole question is in time, quality and volumes.

It is in the pioneer camp that lights out at 9 pm. And if you can't sleep in adulthood, maybe it's better to get down to business, at least read, and not drink sleeping pills? The alarm clock will ring only at 7, and have you been awake for two hours already? So, maybe not wait for the signal to start the active phase of life, but get up, do exercises, put things in order in the kitchen, read, in the end?

Analyze, How do you react to how a child (colleague, friend, relative) solves a particular problem. Does it annoy you that the kid, instead of building a house out of cubes, arranges them on the floor in a checkerboard (any other, understandable only to him) order?

Do you think that a comrade is always looking for "difficult" ways to achieve this goal? Have you stopped communicating with your aunt, who at 55 decided to marry a Turk? You have an unambiguous diagnosis - stereotyped.

Living in a blinkered state or being super-extravagant in decision-making is everyone's business. But it's still better to find a middle ground. Otherwise, it is easy to bury talent in the ground - both your own and your child's. And sometimes not only his own. How many teachers do not give the opportunity to create freely, how many act exclusively within the framework of methodological recommendations! As a result, Petya, who was the best student in the first grade, is no longer interested in anything by the end of the third grade. He is bored in the classroom, he does not want or even cannot become like everyone else.

The same can happen with a talented young employee who is trying to prove to more experienced colleagues that using an old computer program is irrational. When everyone up to the management asks him for the hundredth time not to meddle in his own business, he will stop doing it. And he will either merge with the gray mass of colleagues, or find another job.

A wife who is trying to prove to her family that it is not at all necessary to do the cleaning every weekend, it is better to spend them in nature (in a theater, museum, cinema), faced with misunderstanding, or will run away or become a housewife in the worst sense of the word. And then the likelihood that her husband will run away from her is very high. And then - stress, depression, alcohol and other troubles.

Think back to yourself as a child. What made you change your bright clothes for a gray suit? Who prevented you from becoming an artist? Why do you spend every night alone? How did it happen that there was a hole in the wallet? Maybe the whole point is that at some point you stepped on the throat of your own song? Then it's time to regain your "I".

• We stop thinking like everyone else.
• You need to stop evaluating your every step from the "height" the surrounding society.
• We change the social circle. You don't need to delete all buddies and friends from your phone book. Better push the boundaries. Take an English course, for example - learning develops. And at the same time, new comrades will appear.
• Throwing out all the books that prescribe what a real lady under 25 should do or describing the rules of life for a true gentleman.
• We expand our horizons. Throw rags, buckets, hammers, shovels, rakes on the weekend and go to the theater. And look at others, and you will show yourself, which means you have to put your appearance in order.

Unconventional thinking abhors inhibitions. Stop limiting yourself to the atypical and unconventional. Yes, eating healthy is good, but sometimes allow yourself a slice of cake. From time to time, allow yourself to sleep until lunchtime. Do at least one crazy thing a year.

And to all skeptics and critics, the advice is simple - smile. After all, you can allow yourself to share the joy just like anything else. So don't be greedy. Although, it's up to you how to behave in a given situation. Following advice is also a pattern.