What if you hate yourself?

People can hate enemies or those they dislike. However, it also happens that a person begins to hate himself. This is very unnatural, but it happens nonetheless. To be hostile to his "I", the subject must have very good reasons for this. In no case should this problem be disregarded, so we will consider it in more detail.

Slow aggression, which the individual tries to hide from prying eyes, is called hatred. It seems that every person knows well what it is. Hostility can manifest itself both in relationships between people and in relation to any phenomenon.

And it also happens like this: some subjects may hate themselves and their lives. Usually adolescents suffer from such manifestations. The psychology of this age is as follows: a person treats his “I” with special exactingness. And if something does not suit him very much, for example, in his appearance, he can easily hate himself for it. Similarly, younger children often have negative feelings that they cannot control. Therefore, adults need to take good care of the psyche of their child, without making mistakes in upbringing. Otherwise, your child may be subject to auto-aggression. Let's consider the reasons for this factor.

At an early age, kids 2-4 years old fall into hysterics because their parents tell them the word "no". This means that frequent prohibitions can cause such a manifestation. If parents do not pay attention to children, often punish them, scoff at their actions, then such children may have a feeling of alienation to their “I”.

Parents often go about their business and may not notice that their child needs care. The child thinks that he is doing something wrong, and therefore dad and mom are not interested in his personality. As a result, the child begins to blame himself for the fact that he cannot evoke love and attention to himself. As a result, he develops self-loathing. As a toddler becomes a teenager, peer relationships can become stumped. Then the fragile young psyche begins to search for the culprit in this situation.

The easiest way is to blame yourself for all the troubles. The result is self-hatred. Adults can also experience feelings of self-loathing for different reasons. Let's consider them. A person may hate himself for having done an impartial act. For example, he very much offended his friend, and the friend began to despise him for it. As a result, the person who made a mistake realized the mistake and took up self-criticism.

Defects in appearance are very often the cause of self-rejection. A person looks at his reflection in the mirror and realizes that his appearance causes dislike. After that, a subject with an unstable psyche develops anger towards his appearance. He begins to hate her more and more.

Some actors, mostly children or young people, sometimes realize that they have not lived up to their parents' expectations. If parents also remind them of this, then such individuals develop latent depression. Next, self-rejection will certainly arise. Rejection of one's personality often causes rejected feelings for the other person. The situation can be aggravated by the attack in the form of ridicule and humiliation on the part of a loved one. Very often he is perceived as a kind of idol who does not and cannot have any flaws.

Then the rejected person begins to blame himself for not being able to please a loved one for any reason. This factor becomes a reason to hate yourself. Lack of personality traits can lead to self-loathing. If someone suffers from his laziness or excessive gullibility, then he is hostile to himself because of this.

For example, the gullible person is constantly frustrated by the dishonesty of people. Every time it is difficult for him to stumble upon an unfair attitude towards himself. Having weak character traits, he gradually begins to accuse himself of cowardice. The result is a rejection of your "I".

“I” of a person includes temperament, personality traits, inclinations, gifts and much more. Neuroses contribute to the dulling of the above concepts, and therefore a person develops self-hatred. The subject begins to despise everything that is inherent in him by nature. Then he goes “on the warpath” with his “I”. And this leads to personal differences. Often a person does not even always realize that something is wrong with him. Instead of sounding the alarm, he begins to take pride in self-flagellation and lack of selfish traits.

However, a person will not go anywhere from the negative consequences of self-criticism, no matter how hard he tries. Let's consider this problem in more detail. In adolescents, attacks of self-loathing are expressed in the following: they begin to want to die. It seems to them that this is the only way they can "cleanse" of bad qualities.At the same time, the teenager forgets about the sense of self-preservation.

Adults can from time to time perform violent actions against someone (their loved ones, acquaintances or animals). Thus, hatred of self can be manifested, which affects the relationship.

Why it happens? Usually, these subjects themselves were once subjected to negative actions from the outside. Now they are, as it were, avenging themselves. When a weak-willed adult or child becomes addicted to such a subject, then subconsciously this subject projects violent actions on the victim that were previously performed with him. This factor makes a person angry and prevents him from sincerely loving his loved ones.

If a person hates himself, then he may have an unfulfilled dream, may think that he “buried his talent in the ground” or wait for it to manifest itself. If his expectations are not met for a long time, then he is hostile to himself. Self-rejection is expressed in impostor syndrome and anxiety. Such a person is convinced that he will never be able to cope with the serious business that has been entrusted to him. Because of this, his career suffers. As a result, the subject falls into depression and is more than hostile to his “I”.

If a person starts his health and does not look after his beauty, then he may suffer from self-criticism. Thus, he is trying to "take revenge on himself." For example: a woman (or a girl) who considers herself an unattractive person may instantly flatly abandon femininity. Gradually, such a person will begin to wear trousers and adopt the style of male behavior. Dependence on someone can also indicate the manifestation of an evil attitude towards oneself. As a result, a person is constantly looking for protection on the side. This is how he feels protected.

If there is a deep dislike for oneself, then a person will constantly bump into various obstacles. Naturally, you must definitely stop hating your inner world. Therefore, it is necessary to recognize the signs of an unconscious feeling of self-rejection and successfully overcome it. The advice of experts will help to cope with this task.

First of all, you need to love your essence for what it is. You just need to understand that there are no people who have no shortcomings. Why did you decide that your flaws are much worse than those that you can observe in other people? Let's give an example. Imagine that there is a woman in the neighborhood who believes she is always doing the right thing. She teaches others about life and shames everyone all the time. A familiar story, isn't it?

Once she, too, has an unpleasant story, which the neighbors unwittingly observe. And then a noble woman, surprisingly to everyone, shows her true face. To prove her case, she screams and swears with bad words. The person is not ashamed of others, behaves in a way that you personally would not allow yourself. Then you involuntarily tell yourself that you were embarrassed to say a word in your defense, because you thought that you had no moral right to do so.

You can cope with self-rejection if you stop blaming yourself for everything. Why did you decide that you are even to blame for the fact that sometimes "stones fall from the sky"? Therefore, before blaming yourself for anything, always analyze your actions and look for excuses for them. Remember that sometimes a person is simply not able to perform the ideal act due to certain circumstances. You are not omnipotent. And you cannot please everyone at once.

Do nothing without desire. Always and everywhere rely on your personal feelings. Intuition will save you from making mistakes, for which you will later be ashamed. Don't strive for perfection. Nobody has succeeded in this yet. A hostile attitude towards "I" is the result of distorted views on their personality traits.Therefore, stop being prejudiced against yourself and do not pursue ideal behavior or appearance. Accept yourself as you are.

If you understand that you are hating yourself, then try to understand the reason for this behavior. It is possible that someone close to you greatly humiliated you, pointing out your negative character traits or ugly appearance. You should definitely think about this problem and eliminate it. If the loved one was right, then start working on yourself. Sign up for courses where specialists will help you get out of a difficult situation. If you are constantly and unreasonably criticized from a loved one, then stop communicating with him at least for the duration of rehabilitation. After your condition improves, forgive your abuser.