Why do children hate their parents?

It is generally accepted that close people should always love and understand each other. However, this is not always the case. In some cases, parents and their children do not find common ground. Then a feud begins between them. This destructive feeling appears for any reasons that arise through the fault of one of the parties. Let's try to understand this issue in more detail.

Hating your own parents can destroy the world that surrounds you. The enmity will definitely affect both your general condition and your activities. Psychology claims that children hate their parents for two reasons: prolonged negative relationships between loved ones or as a result of any acute conflict that has arisen in the family. Using the points below, we will consider this statement in more detail.

• Parents showed complete indifference and selfishness to their children as they grew up and matured... For example, when any of the children came to their mom or dad for advice, they came across complete indifference. Close relatives brushed aside their child and said that they had no time to do little things. Naturally, it is impossible to behave in this way, since in this case there is a break in the spiritual connection between the parents and their offspring.
• One of the parents left the family... Thus, he betrayed his children, and they received psychological trauma. Gradually, the general depression worsened and led to hostility.
• Some parents all the time compare their daughter or son to other children: more gifted or successful. You can't do that. Why? With these actions, dad and mom instill in their children "loser syndrome".When such offspring become adults, they will turn their anger for their failures towards their parents.
• Some parents act inappropriately towards their children. For example, they defiantly punish their children for their misdeeds to please teachers. Thus, parents show others that they are strict parents.
• A teenager complains to close people that he feels bad at heart because of the attacks of his peers. Parents respond by “brushing off” him. The mother and father sincerely believe that their child should get used to solving his own problems. This approach to education is wrong. Children in adolescence are very vulnerable. Therefore, they need help from loved ones.
• It also happens that parents "throw off" the upbringing of their children on relatives or send them to a specialized educational institution... It is categorically impossible to do this.

The emerging hatred of the child towards his parents is a very great psychological stress for the latter. However, it should be noted that at the same time the child himself experiences considerable suffering. The emotional connection between loved ones is very difficult to break. If you try to do this by violent action, then there will be depression in absolutely all participants in the situation. The relationship between loved ones is a kind of surface on which their actions are clearly visible. If the latter are negative, then roughness immediately appears on this surface. That's why you need to control yourself all the time.

And if you have already "messed things up" in the relationship, then start correcting your mistakes. How to do this, we will consider below. In order for you to succeed, you need to understand: something is wrong in your life. You just need to think about it and realize it. And if you previously knew about the problem, but did not take it into account, then this time you need to face it. Therefore, remember one truth: "To defeat the enemy, you need to know him in person."

After admitting that you have a problem, you need to find the cause of its occurrence. Each person on a subconscious level remembers his or her misdeeds. You, too, will recall some of the educational moments that cause rejection.

Once you understand the reasons for the hatred, take action.

• Choose a time when no one can interfere with you, and invite your child to the conversation. Warn him that the conversation will be long and frank. Do not forget to indicate the topic of the conversation. This must be done so that your daughter or your son can prepare for an unexpected turn of events. Otherwise, confusion will come, and your efforts will be in vain.
• When left alone with your child, show complete calmness. Start a conversation with him and give your child the opportunity to fully speak out. At the same time, do not interrupt him and keep your facial expressions under control.
• If the conversation is not very pleasant for you, then try not to show your displeasure and resentment.... You need to understand: your child has accumulated a lot of negative experiences while communicating with you. Therefore, be patient if you receive a fairly large number of unpleasant words. Just "reap the benefits of your upbringing."
• After your child speaks out, he will look at you with completely "different eyes"... At this moment, you will also be able to express your grievances and discontent that have accumulated in your soul. However, remember: in no case do not translate your conversation into a scandalous "channel". If this happens, then you will again "enter the rut of war."
• Then you need to start the complete reconciliation phase. And in order to do this, ask your child for forgiveness and promise that now you will be more attentive to his aspirations.

Note. Subsequently, you need to agree with your child that you will never "accumulate mutual irritation" in your soul again. All grievances must be expressed immediately after they arise. Next, try to solve all the problems in time, until they take on the form of a universal scale.

Negative manifestations in relationships very much spoil people's lives. If a child hates his parents, then it is difficult for him to build a personal life. If a person who hates his parents, in spite of everything, gets children, he will still not be able to raise them correctly. Hate is a highly contagious feeling that is passed from person to person. Consider this indisputable fact before you begin to cultivate a destructive state in your soul. In addition, you need to remember: parents are the closest people. They represent a kind of rear, behind which even a completely independent and adult person can easily hide in the most difficult moments for him.

Therefore, these guidelines are intended to be read by children who experience parental animosity.

• Don't ignore bad feelings, but admit to yourself that you are feeling them. Generally speaking, there is nothing wrong with that. Every person experiences emotions, if there is a reason for it.
• If your parents are misbehaving, talk to them about it... Let them know they are doing the wrong thing with you.
• If your family continues to have difficulties in communication for any reason, then do not accumulate irritation, but express your point of view in time.
• If you experience irritation directed towards loved ones, try to remember the good points associated with them.

Now consider the points that will help parents to improve relationships with their children.

• If you see that the relationship with your child is reaching a "dead end", then stop the development of a negative situation.
• Identify the tipping point when your relationship with your child has reached "boiling point."
• Try not to put pressure on your child when speaking with your child. If you want to point out a mistake he made, then act softly and unobtrusively.
• In no case do not swear with your child for one reason or another.
• If you feel that your adult child does not want to communicate with you more, then do not impose your communication on him. Remember: "You can't be cute by force." Be wise at all times. If you have the opportunity to live for some time separately from your child, then do it.
• Observe the life of your beloved offspring from afar and do not interfere with the development of events. Let your son or your daughter live separately and feel their independence. Perhaps she will not seem as attractive to them as previously expected.
• Don't be nervous or angry.