Hating your ex: causes and remedies
Parting is not an easy process. Often, a woman cannot begin to build a new relationship because of the eroding hatred of her ex-man from within. Showing anger is a natural step in a divorce. The cultivation of negative feelings fills the entire inner space of the lady, not allowing her to notice the share of her responsibility in the broken bond.
Causes
The awakening of hatred for the former chosen one indicates that he still represents a certain significance for the lady. Most often, the reason for the emergence of hostility towards the former husband is the endured severe suffering. After parting, a woman may feel hatred for a once loved one for various reasons.
- Often, the destruction of the union is accompanied by excessive accusations. The idealization of the second half is replaced by total depreciation. An attempt is made to restore one's own self-esteem at the expense of belittling another person. At this moment, hatred awakens.
- A woman can take pleasure in the role of a victim, therefore, when parting, she accuses her husband of betrayal. The ex-wife likes to dump the blame on her partner, to tell others about the injustice of his departure from her. She considers herself a humiliated and insulted woman. To dispel hatred of your ex-husband, you need to stop being a victim.
- Sometimes his endless betrayal leads to hatred of a former man. At first, the wife can turn a blind eye to them. However, gradually resentment fills her heart more and more. As a result, feelings of bitterness and despair give way to hostility and intransigence.
- Frequent quarrels, assault and family conflicts sow seeds of hostility towards the chosen one. It is impossible to love a person who often beats his companion. Dissatisfaction with the husband's behavior develops into anger. A strong enmity towards the villain arises.
- A woman may hate her chosen one for insulting her. Sometimes a man insults his soul mate and humiliates her dignity in the presence of strangers. The wife tolerates this behavior for a long time, but her patience is reaching the limit. The accumulated grievances cause a break in relations. After the divorce, the lady begins to hate her former lover fiercely.
- If a woman after a divorce began dating another person, then the previous man may annoy her. The lady sincerely loves a new partner, considers him the standard of beauty and masculinity. Against the background of the impeccability of the newly-minted ideal chosen one, the appearance and character of the ex-husband cause negative feelings in the woman, up to complete disgust. She jars even from his gestures, body movements, facial expressions and voice.
How to get rid of hatred?
First of all, all negative thoughts must be eradicated. Thank fate for the timely release from an outdated relationship. Take a relaxing bath, shop, or indulge in your favorite hobbies. Start visiting museums, theaters, parks and other recreational areas more often. Visit your parents, relatives and friends. In this case, you will not have time to think about an unpleasant relationship.
You can stop hating your ex with the help of unsent letters. State on a piece of paper the reasons for your fierce hatred of him, your thirst for revenge and punishment. Write down all your grievances and complaints. Own feelings and sensations can be expressed in drawings. In the message, tell the chosen one how much you hate him. Make a specific list of what annoys you about your former companion. After that, the letter must be burned or torn into small pieces. Write letters until the anger begins to subside. Gradually, the hatred will dissipate. And then you will completely forget about the existence of this villain, after which you will certainly find inner peace.
Love yourself for who you are. Make a list of your desires. Focus on the future, formulate short-term and long-term goals for the year. Follow the goal step by step. Get new knowledge, attend various courses, acquire skills in different fields of activity. The realization of the most cherished dream leads to an increase in self-esteem and the elimination of destructive feelings of hatred. Do not be afraid to let go of the person with whom the relationship was built on mutual reproaches, insults, humiliation and quarrels.
Hating your ex is an obstacle to your future love life.
Leave this soul-eating feeling in the past. Move forward without looking back. Forgive your ex-partner, let him go. And then the new love will freely enter your life.
Try not to be alone. Spend more time with your family and close friends. Consult with them, ask them for help. Understanding from the people who support you will help you get through a tough time. You will be able to overcome anger and other negative feelings. Stop feeding yourself the negative energy of hate. Sometimes recollections of a happy time together with an ex-man help to cope with the enmity that has arisen. Pleasant moments from a past life make it clear that there is no particular reason to hate.
If you can't get rid of negative emotions on your own, see a therapist or psychologist. He will help you understand the situation, analyze and correct your beliefs, and then tell you what to do next.
Psychologist's advice
New love is the best cure for hating your ex. But first you need to put things in order in your own thoughts. It is very important to get rid of all previous grievances, otherwise it will be difficult to build happiness in the future. A sharp resentment against her husband, a desire for revenge, a state of hysteria are direct threats to future relationships. Spend more time with your personal needs, take care of your body and health. Focus your energy on yourself, not on the person who is annoying you at the moment.
Immediately after parting, it is undesirable to meet with the former chosen one. For a while, you should stay away from the man you hate.
Not every woman can contain anger and other negative emotions. If you splash them right in your face, you will later regret your incontinence. Initially, all meetings should take place in the presence of strangers. You can transfer the things left by him to a not very pleasant subject through mutual friends or relatives. This will allow you to continue your life journey without unpleasant memories.
If hatred for a former lover arises for unknown reasons, then you need to calm down and think well. Negative feelings can arise from emotional or physical fatigue. In this case, a wonderful vacation relieves of negative emotions. Attend an entertainment event or travel. Dislike for the ex will surely disappear.
Imagine in your mind that you are losing your former lover forever. He will never be in your destiny again. Try to analyze your feelings. If joy or indifference arises, do not bring hatred for a partner in the past into your future life. Forget about it. But if you are still experiencing pain and resentment, then love has not yet passed. So, try to get this person back.
Learn to forgive. The scrolling in the head of unpleasant words, insults and other insults inflicted by the previous young man eats away at the soul from the inside. Anger can provoke the appearance of various diseases. Try to have a serious conversation with your ex-boyfriend or husband. Ask for forgiveness for all wrongs done to each other. Try to solve the urgent problems in a peaceful way. If you can't agree amicably, then ask your friends for help or even go to court.