All About Hate Husband
The person changes all the time. Together with him, his life also changes. Changes are influenced by various factors: the environment, the state of mind, as well as the actions of loved ones. Therefore, you should not be surprised that over time, a respectable spouse may hate her beloved husband. To take a deeper look at this issue, you can read the following information.
How does it manifest?
A very strong feeling is hatred. It is colored with rejection, hostility to any object or phenomenon and is quite rightly considered a negative emotion. A wise proverb says: from hatred to love - one step, and vice versa. It turns out that a person is able to dramatically change his attitude towards another person for any reason.
For example, a wife may hate her husband. How can this be determined? First, when dislike arises, a person tries to be as little as possible with the person to whom he feels this same dislike. Secondly, if hatred appears in the fair sex in relation to her once beloved husband, then it is not so difficult to notice from such manifestations:
- the woman gradually begins to avoid hugs and kisses from her husband;
- tries to seek help from her husband as little as possible;
- all conversations are reduced only to conversations on everyday topics;
- the woman's thoughts are aimed at quickly getting rid of her husband's obsessive harassment in an intimate sense;
- after touching there is a feeling of disgust.
However, there is no need to jump to conclusions.... Women are too vulnerable and impressionable creatures. In addition, various hormonal changes and periods of the menstrual cycle affect the feelings of the fair sex.
Therefore, you should be attentive to your feelings. Perhaps the irritation came from everyday problems, but you just thought it was hatred.
Possible causes and their elimination
A woman's hatred of her husband can take years to build up. There may be a large number of reasons for this. Let's consider the most common ones.
After childbirth
After the birth of a child, a woman has a powerful hormonal changes. Often at this time, the fair sex becomes more irritable. They are more concerned about the baby's health than the wishes and feelings of the husband. If the partner does not want to accept this situation, then the woman gradually begins to grow irritated towards him.
For example, a man demands intimacy. The wife, for obvious reasons, is not in tune with her, both morally and physically. It's just that a woman has not yet learned how to divide her love and tenderness exactly in half. Therefore, this conflict will gradually develop into a deeper one. As a result, mutual scandals and accusations can begin between spouses. It will seem to the husband that his wife has stopped loving him, and he can behave quite aggressively.
The mother woman will have to defend herself. As a result, first irritation and dislike will appear in her behavior, and then hatred. However, it should be noted that these feelings will be unstable. As soon as the relationship between the spouses improves, love will arise between them again. Therefore, people who are married need to treat each other with care.
It is necessary not only to make claims, but also to listen to what the partner is trying to say. Then the conflict will gradually subside.
Because of treason
Not every woman will be able to forgive her husband's betrayal. Even if she tries to forget about it all the same, thoughts of revenge for betrayal will not leave her... What is your advice in this situation? You need to make a choice: either force yourself to forget about her husband's betrayal, or divorce him.
Therefore, if you cannot forgive your husband an insult in any way and are forced to live with him because of various prejudices, in this case, stop torturing yourself. Living with a person to whom you feel disgust, even for the sake of the peace of mind of children, is not entirely correct and even harmful. First of all, you will harm your children. Your children feel everything. They perfectly understand that there is no more love between parents. This only increases their suffering.
Be honest with yourself and your children... Explain to them the cause of the conflict and break the family ties. If you feel that you are ready to forgive your husband, then you better forgive. In this case, you need to completely erase unpleasant events from your memory and order yourself never to return to them.
Due to drunkenness
Bad habits are very bad. If the husband is addicted to alcohol, then the family is gradually destroyed. A rare woman will suffer the smell of fumes. How can a woman not respect herself in order to allow herself to be close to an inadequate person? Moreover, one should not tolerate the alcoholism of the husband if children are growing up in the family. They suffer the most in this case. Therefore, you need to try to get your husband to get rid of the habit or file for divorce.
In the modern world, there are a large number of techniques to get rid of drunkenness. If you love your husband and feel that you have a chance to fix everything, then seek help from specialists.
If you understand that the situation is hopeless and your husband will never stop drinking, break up with him.
Because of the mother-in-law
There are men who always listen to their mother's advice. So they were brought up and it is necessary to come to terms with this. However, many women are irritated by the fact that the husband still listens to his mother. Because of this, the wife gradually begins to dislike her spouse.She becomes irritable and tries to distance her husband from his mother. This is absolutely impossible to do. Otherwise, you will get the opposite effect. Your husband will listen to his mother even more, and she, in turn, will turn her son against you.
Therefore, if you love your husband with all your heart, then try to improve relations with the mother-in-law. Treat her with respect, ask about her health, and diplomatically move away from conflict if she starts provoking you. By being submissive, you show your mother-in-law that you perceive her as a loved one. Gradually, your relationship will improve. And then mutual understanding will come to your family.
Because of his daughter from his first marriage
Children from past marriages in most cases have a negative impact on the new relationships of their parents. Did you know that your husband has a daughter from his first marriage? However, they still married him. This means that you should have foreseen some conflict situations. Girls are jealous of their fathers for other people's women. Therefore, they are very rarely accepted. At the same time, they do not understand that they are thereby harming both themselves and their father.
However, the wife must show patience and wisdom in this situation.... There is no need to aggravate the conflict and turn your husband against his own child. If you do this, then this situation will definitely turn against you.
A woman can be advised in this case not to get hung up on conflict situations. Be attentive to the daughter's requests from her first marriage. Then you will all gradually find a common language and ways of mutual coexistence.
During pregnancy
This period is the most responsible for both the woman herself and her husband. At this time, the character of the fair sex changes greatly, and then behavior. Therefore, everything that happens in your soul should not be taken to heart. Don't jump to conclusions... When the baby appears and grows up a little, everything will fall into place. In the meantime, try to keep your state "in hand". Don't dwell on your irritable mood towards your husband. Just explain to yourself that it is also hard for him, and he expects understanding from you... Also tell your husband more often: "I love you."
Psychologist's advice
The closer people get, the more disagreements there will be between them. At the first quarrel, they begin to surface and cause rejection. In any quarrel between spouses, there is anger and fear. On the one hand, a woman is afraid of losing her husband, on the other hand, she is intolerant of him. As a result of the mixing of these feelings, hatred arises. This feeling may be short-lived. If the spouses, in a fit of scandal, say a lot of hurtful words to each other, and then regret it and make up, then the hatred will quickly disappear. However, it also happens in another way. What should a woman do if her husband is constantly testing her patience? What to do if, because of daily abuse, the fair sex has a persistent feeling of hatred towards her husband?
This situation suggests that the love between the two people has practically passed. They live by habit and therefore are unhappy. So what can you advise in this case? The best option in such difficult circumstances is divorce. It should be noted that divorce is a last resort. In other cases, it is necessary to overcome the feeling of hatred towards your spouse and get rid of it forever. Let's see how this can be done. Take control of your emotions first. Remember, evil always breeds evil. If you treat your loved one with irritation, then the irritation will surely return to you. So start monitoring your words and emotions. If you feel that your state of mind is getting out of hand while talking to your husband, break off the dialogue and exhale.
Then close your eyes and replay in your mind the moments where you were happy with your husband.Doing so will bring your mood back to normal. Then continue the conversation in a calm tone and try not to raise your voice anymore.
To understand your condition, you need to do some self-examination. Pay attention to your feelings for your husband. To do this, ask yourself leading questions.
For example: are you afraid of losing your husband just because you depend on him? Or because you still love him? Or maybe your husband is your only close person? Questions of this kind will surely help you find answers to how you proceed. It is possible that irritation with your husband is a consequence of your tiredness from your daily routine. Then fix the situation. Start living in a new way. For example, let your family dinner turn into a special ritual with interesting movies, etc. The food should be tasty, and involve your other half in its preparation, if possible. It will unite your whole family.
And if you are so categorical in your desires and want your husband to disappear, then try to imagine your life without him. This is how you can recognize your true feelings. Imagine that there is a breakup between you and your husband, and the spouse will never appear in your life again. You have shouldered all the worries and are trying to solve numerous problems on your own.
If you are ready for this turn of events, then file for divorce. If you are afraid of being alone and realize that your husband is your main support, then stop cheating yourself. Calm down and look at your spouse with “different eyes”. Let love and understanding be in your eyes. Then you will know that you were wrong. To stop hating your husband, you need to deal with your fleeting feelings and learn to forgive.
In order to understand what is at stake, consider the following situation: women are very demanding of their other half. Therefore, they believe that strong representatives of humanity should always fulfill the desires of their chosen ones and indulge them in everything. If a man begins to resist, he meets with a negative attitude towards himself... Capricious persons do not understand that men are annoyed by misunderstanding on the part of their wife. Therefore, they can become angry and unpredictable. As a result, the wife will begin to feel irritation towards her husband, and then hatred. To prevent this from happening try to restrain your desires. Understand that you need to grow up mentally and then understanding and mutual respect will arise between you and your spouse.
If you are annoyed by your husband's behavior for any reason, then tell him about it. Point out any negative aspects that cause you to protest. Perhaps after that he will begin to relate to his actions more restrained. However, remember that in response to your claims, claims from your husband may follow... Listen to them carefully, and then draw conclusions. If you both take the path of correcting the situation, then you will succeed. Your life will return to normal. There is no need to cite other men who seem to you to be the most conscientious in terms of behavior. Remember that men are very annoyed by such examples. Divorce will be bad for your later life. If you have decided to divorce, then think again and weigh the pros and cons.
Always remember that living together with your husband is a huge job. Note: Not all women are married. Many remain in splendid isolation, having been married for some time. Why it happens? Because this category of women never learned to forgive. They have too high a sense of their own dignity and an underestimated sense of responsibility for their own lives and for the lives of their children.
Therefore, they easily part with men and never regret it. Moreover, such persons very often cry into the pillow at night, because they are alone. Therefore, do not be vindictive.Especially in relation to your loved one.
Eliminate unpleasant moments from your life. Believe that there will be many more pleasant moments in your life together.
Thank you very much, it became easier for me. I read many different articles where all psychologists as one repeat: get a divorce immediately. And only here it is written: weigh the pros and cons ... Some psychologists, when they are told about a difficult situation, give advice such as: do not get into such a situation, you acted wrong in one moment or another, so it happened. But this has already happened, how do you get out of this? Even if due to their stupidity, naivety.