How to stop hating your mother-in-law?

Hatred of the mother-in-law greatly aggravates the situation, right up to the outbreak of a real war. Sometimes, quarrels between two women lead to the disintegration of the family.

Any mother sees in her son an ideal man, although in reality he may not correspond to this image. The daughter-in-law is perceived to be far from perfect. The mother wanted not such a companion for her beloved child. She looks for weaknesses in the chosen one of her son. It is difficult for a mother to cope with feelings of jealousy that provoke dissatisfaction with her daughter-in-law. The mother-in-law sees her as a rival. After all, the attention and love of the son are switched to the spouse. It seems to the woman that her son no longer needs her, so the lady is trying to attract attention to herself in different ways.

If a child was brought up without a father, then he was always a support for the mother, fulfilled the role of the head of the family. After the marriage of her son, the mother often begins to ask to visit her, often looking for the most insignificant reasons. Such behavior of a woman can result in endless scandals between the daughter-in-law and her husband. The situation is heating up, the hostility towards the mother-in-law is intensifying.

The sense of ownership contributes to the growth of negativity between all members of the triangle. A showdown begins, the carve-up of a beloved man, a desire to seize the palm. If both ladies are leaders by nature, then the fight for the "throne" is inevitable. Each of them claims to be the best mistress of the house. The desire to defend one's supremacy leads to enmity and hatred.

Sometimes, due to some circumstances, you have to live with your mother-in-law. And if the dwelling also originally belonged to her, then the daughter-in-law involuntarily has complexes and fears.After all, she becomes a violator of the usual way of life.

If the head of the family is the only son, then all maternal love is directed exclusively to him. In this case, the daughter-in-law is perceived as a person coveted for the treasure. It seems to the mother that only she knows how to care for her beloved man and how to feed him. Only she knows when it is better to remain silent and what phrase should be uttered in the next moment. The daughter-in-law's opinion is received with hostility. At first she smiles back, then gets annoyed. Discontent grows over time, gradually turning into hatred.

Often the reasons for rejection of the mother-in-law are different views on the upbringing of children. The grandmother insists on her position, dictates what and how to do. Differing views on family life, household chores, and recreation lead to disagreements and increase the daughter-in-law's dislike of her mother-in-law. Comparisons of the husband of her chosen one with her beloved mother are pushing towards hatred. Especially if the spouse constantly criticizes his wife, citing his parent as an example.

Sometimes the mother-in-law is bored with retirement. She is looking for an interlocutor, so she often comes to visit. The lady lacks communication. And the daughter-in-law is annoyed by the regular visits of her mother-in-law, whose good intentions are perceived as total control. The young lady is so tortured by the constant visits of a relative that she never ceases to hate even her ex-mother-in-law.

First of all, try to understand why your own mother-in-law did not please you. It's very important to accept that she doesn't have to live up to your rules, meet certain standards, and live up to your expectations. Be patient with her. Always make contact with this woman: look for a common language, tune in to a constructive dialogue. You don't have to compete with your mother-in-law for a man's love and attention.

You must always remember what this woman was wearing under her heart your husband. She gave birth to him, raised him as best she could. You yourself chose this person as your husband. It means that somehow he attracted your attention, somehow conquered you. A bad mother could not raise her son well. You must make every effort to overcome your hatred for your mother-in-law. The constant scrolling of negative thoughts in the head provokes a deterioration in the physical and emotional state. The accumulated grievances give rise to various diseases. With your hatred, you are causing irreparable harm to your own health.

This woman is worthy of respect and gratitude. Be polite and tactful to her. Remain calm and don't give any reason to attack you further. Try to accommodate the wishes of your husband's mother. Respect for the mother-in-law in any situation will help both get rid of negative emotions. Over time, the onslaught will stop.

Pay attention to your mother-in-law. Take an interest in her affairs and health. Give her interesting news. Consult with her even if you have made a decision a long time ago. May she always feel her worth. Let her command, openly express her displeasure. Recognize her authority. Smooth out the rough edges in your relationship in every way.

Don't forget to compliment her cooked meals. Evaluate your mother-in-law's outfits, note her exquisite taste. Your attention will evoke positive emotions in a woman. Sincere compliments create a great relationship.

You can stop hating your mother-in-law if you start to be interested in her past life. Let her tell you how she managed to wash and iron diapers, diapers, undershirts at the same time, cook for three meals and still work on two jobs. Try to mentally recreate the atmosphere of previous years. Then you can better understand the feelings and emotions of the mother-in-law. Try to find common interests with her. Invite your current and former mother-in-law to theaters, cafes, shopping trips. Practice knitting, painting, Nordic walking, fitness, yoga, or aerobics together. More often give the woman who gave birth to your husband flowers, sweets and fruits.

Never turn your spouse against your own mother. A wife can be changed at any time, but a person has only one mother. No matter how disgusting she may seem to you, try to build a friendly relationship with her. A man who truly loves his mother will never betray her. It is no coincidence that in any conflict situations, most men take the side of their mother. If negativity slips in the mother's attitude to her son, then try to compensate for it with your positive emotions. You should not pay any attention to the caustic statements addressed to your chosen one. Surround your husband with care, love, show respect for him.

The desire to correct the mother-in-law's behavior is usually unsuccessful. Before you is a formed personality, so it is unlikely that it will be possible to forcibly change her established views. The lady claims to be recognized, respected and appreciated by her person. Try to meet these needs. Listen to your mother-in-law's advice. If you don't like them, then do it your own way. But do not contradict her and do not get annoyed. Do not respond to insults, do not become personal, do not deepen the conflict situation. Set your boundaries. Agree on household and financial responsibilities. If you live together, then this will save you from mutual claims.

Never interfere with the relationship between your spouse and his mother. Do not prevent your husband from visiting his own mother or talking to her on the phone. Do not get involved in your difficult relationship with the mother-in-law of the children. Only tell them good stories about their grandmother. Even if you consider her the most evil mother-in-law in the world, then let the grandchildren have only pleasant moments associated with their grandmother in their memories. Children should not be held hostage by adult quarrels.

Strive to turn your husband's mother into an ally, not an enemy. You should not behave hypocritically and squeeze an insincere smile through your teeth, but you can treat your mother-in-law kindly. Learn to control yourself and your actions. Remember that too much frankness does not lead to anything good. At your first quarrel with your husband, your mother-in-law may put you in an unfavorable light in front of him.

In no case do not involve other relatives in your relationship with your mother-in-law, do not make plans of revenge with them. Often the daughter-in-law's behavior does not improve the situation, but provokes a new wave of conflicts. To avoid this, a woman must adhere to certain rules:

• be flexible in your relationship;
• do not complain to your husband about his mother;
• rude expressions in the direction of the mother-in-law should not be allowed;
• do not prove your case to her;
• do not gossip with neighbors and girlfriends about your mother-in-law;
• do not separate your grandchildren from your grandmother, do not interfere with your conflict;
• in quarrels with your husband, do not say that his mother raised him badly;
• do not flaunt your feelings for your husband in the presence of your mother-in-law;
• never take revenge on the mother of your life partner, do not do any dirty tricks on her;
• give compliments to your mother-in-law and spouse;
• do not shift the care of your children onto your grandmother, do not demand constant supervision of your grandchildren from her.

Many women wonder whether it is necessary to dedicate the husband, especially the relationship with the mother-in-law. It is best not to push your loved ones against each other.Imagine the state of your husband and do not make him rush between two fires. Try to fix the problem yourself. Talk to your mother-in-law, voice your views, tell her about your experiences, find out the reason for the nagging. Maybe she had no idea how much inconvenience she is giving you.