Causes of hatred and how to deal with it

Often, violent rage directed at an external object or subject turns into hatred. An insidious feeling has repeatedly caused the death of cities and entire states.

Hatred means persistent aversion to someone or something. Subject displays hostility towards annoying persons or objects. This means that a person cannot accept with his soul any object, event, phenomenon, group of people, individual person or other living being. A hostile feeling can arise towards an idea that is contrary to the values ​​and beliefs of the individual.

This negative feeling is the complete opposite of love. Their relationship is obvious. It happens that an individual loves and hates another at the same time. Love can be accompanied by hate. Most often, these strong feelings are collectively directed towards loved ones.

In psychology, hatred is considered a destructive, negatively colored feeling. It is a defense mechanism against mental pain. Anger targets other people or yourself. Often, aggression results in harm. Embittered subjects develop a strong desire to harm those they hate. A pronounced feeling of rejection of another person is accompanied by the desire to inflict physical or mental pain. A person experiences joy at the failures that befell the enemy.

Dislike can be open and hidden.

• Open hatred can be traced in the aggressive behavior of people who want to exterminate their enemy. A person cannot hide his irritation. Physical and verbal aggression is used. Threats and insults are directed directly at the unpleasant person. Often, an angry individual tries to solve the problem with fists.
• Hidden hatred can be directed at any subject that comes across by chance. It usually affects the personality indirectly: through caustic jokes, indecent statements, gossip. The individual does not enter into an open conflict, although he feels dislike and disgust for this person.

The manifestation of hostility towards others indicates a weakness of spirit. Studies by American scientists show that the level of intelligence affects the choice of the object of hatred, but does not affect the degree of hostile feelings.

Deliberate and unintentional actions contribute to the generation of hatred.

• Intentional incitement to conflict provokes deliberate hatred in society. False information, deliberate distortion of facts, propaganda of aggression against a people, country, religion or state system - all these are methods of deploying hostilities, inciting war.
• It is not uncommon for parents to educate their children incorrectly. They inadvertently cultivate seeds of hatred in their offspring. Emotional coldness of parents, physical and psychological abuse, frequent punishment form in the child a persistent negative attitude towards people and the world around him. In families with asocial lifestyles, hostile personalities can develop. Imaginary idealistic views of the world also lead to unintentional hostile relationships. Impressive people see everything in a rosy light. This perception often leads to frustration and anger.

Some individuals cannot accept themselves. They have a protective projection mechanism. Self-rejection is transformed into unreasonable hostility towards other people. If the interlocutor does not share the views of the person, then hatred awakens in response. Sometimes the raised expectations that have arisen come into irreconcilable conflict with reality. The attitudes and views of the individual collide with external realities. Disappointment appears. For example, a person expects completely different emotions from marriage or marriage. His expectations are not met. A complete misunderstanding arises between husband and wife. The discrepancy between the requirements of the spouses and real life leads to the dissolution of the marriage. The feeling of dissatisfaction can subsequently develop into anger and hostile perception of each other.

Probably everyone knows the saying that there is only one step from love to hate. Personal relationships driven by intense passion sometimes lead to quarrels and conflicts. Love does not allow negative emotions to be thrown out, so there is an internal accumulation of various levels of anger. Ultimately, a bright feeling is transformed into dislike, and a complete rejection of the partner gradually occurs.

Hatred of people and society as a whole can arise for objective and subjective reasons. Psychic personality disorder can be a source of pathological hatred that darkens the mind. Psychologists note the following reasons for the emergence of hostile feelings:

• lack of self-confidence;
• dependence on someone else's opinion, the desire to please;
• envy, mental comparison of your person with more successful neighbors, friends, relatives and completely strangers;
• competition, blaming rivals for their own failures, shifting blame onto others;
• a stable opinion about one's own righteousness, unwillingness to compromise;
• response to betrayal, injustice;
• inconsistency of characters;
• quarrel, offensive statements, conflict;
• vindictiveness and suspicion due to fear of making a mistake;
• stereotypes imposed by the media or certain groups of people;
• reaction to stress experienced during violence, combat or terrorist actions;
• wrong upbringing.

The following signs may indicate the presence of hatred:

• unreasonable irritation;
• causeless anger;
• excessive rage;
• the desire to humiliate, insult, beat and even kill a person;
• complete contempt;
• avoidance of eye contact, lack of a smile;
• an ambiguous reaction to the mention of even the name of the disliked subject;
• an involuntary feeling of disgust.

A feeling of overwhelming disgust can arise both to an individual person and to a specific group of people. Some cannot cope with hostility to the opposite sex, others hate small children, and still others have a strong aversion to family ties. The manifestation of a pronounced rejection of certain objects or subjects can come from a specific person or group of persons. Depending on this, experts distinguish two types.

Some groups of people have hostile feelings towards members of a certain community. Usually there is contempt for specific religious denominations, political parties, sexual minorities, people of a certain gender, nationality, race.

The aggressive mood of the group members inspires a conflict situation. Various formations are trying to bring confusion to society. They seek to strengthen their position in the conflict, calling on people to fight the enemy. Social hatred leads to social disorder, war, genocide. She is often the reason for discrimination. The incitement to intolerance provokes various crimes.

Communication with parents and others has a significant impact on the formation of hatred. Children's grievances and griefs sometimes awaken a feeling of rejection in the personality. The reason for the latent or open hostility towards people and the world as a whole is the love that the baby has not received. An imprint on the psyche of a growing person is imposed by views of various television programs and various sites on the Internet. An incorrectly formed inner state of the child's soul is transmitted to parents and society. A grown-up person does not know how to show love, mercy, compassion to other people.

Destructive emotions poison life. You cannot ignore the feeling of hatred. It destroys the viability of the subject, turning him into a weak-willed creature. An embittered person usually bypasses other people, tries to make contact with them less often. The feeling of love and friendship is unfamiliar to him. Such a person immediately notices many flaws in outsiders. Sometimes negative emotions push the subject to commit destructive, reckless and meaningless acts. The harmony of relationships with others is disturbed. An individual can break all ties with family and friends. Hatred greatly harms the hostile person, not the offender. The person who hates is suffering, not the one who is hated.

A seething feeling takes a lot of strength and energy. Resentment, anger, vindictiveness, intransigence and other similar states have a detrimental effect on the formation and development of the personality. Anger repels others. Hatred destroys a person from the inside. Uncontrolled streams of anger, outbursts of anger often lead to severe physical and mental illnesses. Immunity is weakening. A vulnerable organism is prone to inflammatory and viral diseases.

Attacks of rage provoke an increase in blood pressure. In the future, a person is often tormented by a migraine. Efficiency gradually decreases, interest in life disappears. A person feels a breakdown and an outflow of vital energy. Sometimes diabetes mellitus and cancer develop. Against this background, depression and even suicidal thoughts can be observed. Often, hatred is manifested on the basis of dissatisfaction with oneself. The individual is removed from the usual life in society. A person suffers from setbacks at work and in personal life. He loses the desire to develop and loses the opportunity for self-realization.

It can be very difficult to overcome feelings of hatred towards another person in yourself. First of all, you should honestly admit to yourself that you have these destructive emotions. Take your feelings for granted. Start by striving to see the world differently and by trying to change your own behavior. Learn to abstract yourself from negative, sometimes uncontrollable feelings. Don't be manipulated by other people. You alone have to control your emotions, thoughts and actions.

The difficult path begins with liberation from your own negative feelings. Painstaking internal work is required. First of all, let go of all your grudges. Hatred destroys a person from the inside. Cultivate tolerance and tolerance in yourself. Control your own senses. Be tolerant of people of a different nationality, race and religion, as well as to the level of culture and education. The social position of others should also not cause you negative emotions.

Try to objectively and impartially evaluate the person who irritates you. Find positive traits in his character. Concentrate your attention on them. This action will weaken the negativity towards the unpleasant person. Take a look at the situation from the outside. Being open-minded can help you understand the motivation of the abuser. It may be wise to start collaborating with a person you dislike. Joint activities bring people closer together. During prolonged close contact, people get to know each other well. Enmity can be replaced by sympathy.

Learn to forgive yourself and those around you. Forgiveness leads to the reign of inner harmony and the restoration of peace of mind. Spend more time with family, friends, relatives. Visit museums, theaters, and various events. Go in for sports. Spend more time outdoors.

In psychology, there are various techniques for eliminating destructive emotions. You can overcome hatred in yourself through hard inner work. Experts offer several ways. Train yourself to do exercises that help release the anger that breaks out.

• A count of up to 20 can prevent the outburst of negative emotions. This technique is used in emergencies. As soon as you feel an influx of anger and a desire to break out on others, concentrate on your breathing and mentally count. This easy-to-use method is very effective.
• Overcoming hate can be done by transforming negative attitudes into positive reflections that help you successfully deal with negative emotions. These actions are best done in writing. First you need to write down on a piece of paper any events or facts that cause hatred. Then you need to transform them into positive feelings. Reading affirmations daily helps a lot.
• The level of hostility is reduced by the Unsent Letter technique. It can help you cope with uncontrollable feelings of anger. All your heartache, negative emotions must be stated on a piece of paper. Write how much you hate this person or some community. Then the letter must be burned or torn into small pieces.Write messages until negative emotions start leaving you.

To stop hating a certain person allows the desire to understand his beliefs and attitudes. Ask the person annoying you a series of questions. Listen to the interlocutor carefully. Try to be in his shoes for a few moments. Imagine yourself in the shoes of your enemy. Look at yourself and your actions from the outside. After that, try to establish contact with the annoying subject. And stop worrying about being treated unfairly.

Strive to see only positive qualities in others. Show respect for them. You should not concentrate on your own emotions and constantly wait for some kind of catch. When a person reflects not on his own, but on the needs of others, hatred dissolves.

An important point in the upbringing of children is their focus on the manifestation of love, mercy and friendliness in relation to others. Teach your children to understand others. Interest in the inner world of the interlocutor brings people closer together, contributes to the emergence of sympathy. The kid should see your positive attitude. A negative attitude towards society and other individuals launches a program to destroy the object of hatred. A child can grow into a rapist and a murderer.

You will be able to recognize someone else's hatred for your person by the desire of a person to offend, offend, deprive you of something. His voice may have a spiteful note. Endless reproaches addressed to you (even in a joking manner) should alert you. The subject spreads bad rumors about you, says nasty things behind your back, does dirty tricks. Such actions indicate unfriendliness. Sometimes the source of negative emotions is a mere trifle. Try to understand why your friend, colleague, or relative hates you. Try to communicate with him, learn more about his life. You should not directly sort things out or explain something to a hostile person. Such actions interfere with the normalization of relationships.

People willingly change their minds in response to good deeds. Doing something together will help you bond. The person will begin to share your ideas, thoughts, feelings. He gets to know you better.