Why does the child hate the mother and what to do?

Any woman wants to become an ideal mother for her child, but at some point she ceases to cope with this role. As a result, the baby begins to feel like a second-rate creature. Over time, there is a rejection of their own parent. Dissatisfaction with her behavior often turns into hatred.

Often times, breaking up with a husband turns a loving mother into an irritable person. The child becomes a kind of lightning rod. The accumulated fatigue, stress affects the emotional state of a woman. She takes out resentment and anger on the child. The parent wants to show affection and love to him, but lacks mental strength. The lady is overcome by fear due to the possible loss of her job, the need to pay monthly utility bills and service all the needs of the baby. As a result, instead of friendly conversations with the little man, shouts and undeserved accusations become more frequent. The hardships of life kill sensitivity in a woman and give rise to severity.

The psychology of a single woman is such that she unconsciously creates a projection from her ex-husband to the child... In the baby, she sees all the negative traits of the man she hates. A native child begins to annoy the parent. She doesn't like the way the kid turned, the way he said, the way he smiled. The resemblance to the father makes a woman take out negative emotions on the child.

The child hates his own mother for other reasons.

• Many children perceive the absence of their parents as a betrayal. Sometimes, due to certain circumstances, the mother has to devote a lot of time to her work and career growth. After a divorce from her husband, some women begin to arrange their personal lives. The child is forced to live with his grandmother. Over time, hatred awakens in him for the subject, who abandoned him in the care of other people.
• Often formal communication provokes the development of hostility. Some parents are indifferent to the life of their own child. They live with the idea that the baby is dressed, shod, well fed and healthy. To avoid personal psychological discomfort, the mother does not want to hear about the problems of her child. Indifference on her part leads to the degeneration of feelings of experience into anger. The kid wants to initiate the parent into some kind of conflict situation, and the mother tells him: "Deal with your offenders yourself."
• A person can experience hatred of his mother when she is physically and mentally abused. The kid has to live in constant tension because of the expectation of a possible blow at any moment. He takes a defensive position. Systematic screams and regular physical punishment turn the parent into a worst enemy. All the baby's desires and his attempts to declare his own person are suppressed. The desire to suppress the personality in the child leads to the accumulation of grievances against the mother.

More often than not, the mother is not ready to admit her own wrong. The anger that has fallen on her is met with hostility. A parent complains to others about her unbearable child. Tells everyone how much effort and money she put into it. Thus, she shifts her blame onto the grown man. This behavior helps the mother to relieve her unpleasant feelings. She does not even understand that at such moments the pain and resentment of her child only intensifies.

The baby accumulates negative feelings and fosters a response to hatred of his mother. Subsequently, parents may face violent showdowns of a grown-up child. In adolescence, a person is especially sensitive to the manifestation of any injustice. The teenager does not know how to relieve the heat of feelings, so he tries to get rid of the tension with the help of alcohol and drugs. Some become addicted to gambling.

There are frequent cases of desire to harm oneself. These teenagers disfigure their bodies, inflict cuts. They show rudeness and disrespect towards others. This difficult period in a child's life should be held next to loving and understanding parents. Otherwise, due to a fragile psyche, hostility towards the mother or father may form. Over time, she can be reborn into hatred.

To get rid of unpleasant feelings, you must first acknowledge them. Try to reflect on your painful experiences. It is very important for a person to say them out loud. A painful, frank conversation with your mother is unlikely to be crowned with success. You can throw out all your bitter thoughts and negative emotions on a piece of paper. Some may find it easier to have a confidential conversation with a best friend or close relative. Talking to yourself can also help you deal with hostility towards your mother. Sometimes there is even a feeling of guilt, especially if the person previously insulted her.

Make a list of the things that annoy you. Think about the punishments and unpleasant situations that made you cry. Draw pictures of your negative feelings and resentments. Then the leaf must be burned or torn into small pieces. Record bad memories on paper until the anger begins to subside. Over time, hatred will dissolve, peace of mind and inner peace will come.

The desire to understand her behavior helps to overcome hatred of one's own mother. She raised you the way she could. Think about how easy it was for her to be with you. Irritation and negative emotions are not a way out of the situation. Your attempts to hurt your mother are baffling... You expect positive manifestations from her, driving yourself into a sense of guilt. In this way, it is impossible to stop hating your own mother and thereby end your suffering.

Draw two circles on one piece of paper. Imagine that one circle is you and the other is your mother. Not a single point of contact is visible. Each ball exists on its own. You and your parent are isolated from each other. Each of you is locked in your own inner world. And although the two circles are located next to each other, they cannot be reunited.

There is also a very effective exercise. Imagine your mom as a little girl. Hug her mentally, give her warmth and love. Every night before going to bed, in your imagination, tell this funny little girl about yourself. Pray for her daily. Prayer softens the heart and gradually eliminates the feeling of hatred.

Try to forgive the parent... Only forgiveness and love can get you out of this impasse. Do not play offensive words, unpleasant situations or other insults inflicted on you by your parents in your head. Anger eats away at the soul from the inside and provokes physical and mental illness. Try to translate the hostile relationship into at least a formal friendship.

Enemy relationships take a lot of strength and energy. It takes a lot of inner work to root out negative feelings. Become aware of all your childhood grievances. Replay the childhood scenario in your mind so as not to repeat parental mistakes in raising your own children.

A mother's strained relationship with growing children often leads to a protracted conflict that can lead to hatred. Parents of teenage children should heed some expert advice.

• The teenager needs to feel important. If you had a rare moment of conversation with him, and at that moment a phone call rang, then try to briefly answer the caller's questions and quickly end the conversation with him. Then the child will understand that the conversation with him is more important for the mother than the dialogue with a stranger.
• Don't Expect Immediate Obedience from Teenagers... If the child, when asked to take out the trash, did not immediately quit a computer game, then respect his hobby. Agree with him about the time of your assignment.
• Let your teen make their own choices in various areas of life.... He decided not to play the violin anymore, he wanted to learn how to play the guitar. Don't fight him.
• Do not demand high achievements from children in various fields.... Do not humiliate for the fact that a person cannot reach a certain level and win in a competition, competition or review. Never compare your child to other people.
• Often a mother, in the presence of a child, complains to a stranger about him... The mother's attitude to her child as to a hopelessly spoiled person subsequently leads to the deletion of the parent from her life forever. Do not shame your children in public.
• Feel free to apologize to your child for being wrong.... Unfair punishment can divide you for years.