What if the mother-in-law hates the daughter-in-law?

A good relationship with the husband's mother contributes to the creation of a full-fledged family in which children grow up in love and joy. A kind and positive mother-in-law does not create any problems. But there are also powerful persons with whom it is difficult to find a common language. The formidable mother-in-law is always unhappy with her daughter-in-law. She literally hates her.

Many young women wonder how to behave if your husband's mother hates you. First of all, you need to understand the reasons for the emergence of negative feelings.

• Often, jealousy pushes the mother-in-law to prejudice her daughter-in-law. A woman suddenly realizes that her son is able to give love and warmth to a stranger. In this case, the mother immediately fades into the background. Sometimes she herself realizes that she is too picky about the wife of her child, but it is difficult to cope with her feelings. Her soul does not want to put up with the loss of her son.
• The reason for irritability can be the woman's age. Most often, the departure of the son from the family coincides with the onset of menopause in the parent. The period of hormonal changes affects her emotional state. An elderly woman has mood swings, irritability, tearfulness, irascibility. The lady is psychologically depressed. Hatred for her daughter-in-law awakens in her.
• Character traits are reflected in the desire to seize leadership in the son's life. The domineering mother-in-law seeks to establish her own rules in his family. At the same time, it does not matter to her whether they live together or separately. A woman with dictatorial inclinations tries to subordinate everyone to her demands.
• Sometimes the mother-in-law hates the daughter-in-law because of her strong attachment to her only child. The whole meaning of a mother's life is in her son.She does not want to come to terms with the fact that now his attention is directed to another woman.
• Uncertainty about the son's maturity leads the parent to fear for him. She thinks that without maternal control, the child will be mistreated. The daughter-in-law can make him work a lot for the sake of money, not caring about his rest and health.
• Social inequality is often the cause of hatred. The parents of the newly-minted husband believe that he could well find a girl of his circle. Their discontent and feelings of irritation result in constant attacks on their daughter-in-law.
• Disagreements about raising grandchildren also lead to hostile attitudes. The mother-in-law is sure that only she knows all the intricacies of proper care for babies. And an inexperienced daughter-in-law does not want to listen to the advice of a mature woman.

In any conflict, two sides are always to blame. Analyze your behavior. Put yourself in your mother-in-law's shoes. Imagine that your son flew out of the nest and began to devote more time and attention to another woman. Do not distance yourself from your mother-in-law immediately after the wedding. Emotional separation should be done in stages.

Do not pretend to be the spouse's main woman. You should not create competition for your mother-in-law. A husband should not rush between two ladies. Both are important to him. Show patience, calmness, tact and wisdom in dealing with your mother-in-law. If a son is happily married, his mother will involuntarily change her attitude towards her daughter-in-law for the better. She will begin to respect the new family member.

It is best to live separately from the mother-in-law. When living together, the leading role should go to her. Recognize the mother-in-law as the main mistress of the house. Agree with the established rules, but always stop any attempts by your mother-in-law to invade your privacy. Do not be rude to your spouse's mother, and ignore her nagging. Ignore your mother-in-law's aggressive comments.

Maintain a certain distance from the husband's mother. Don't complain to her about her son. He will always take the first place in her life.

Never complain to your husband about his mother. Eliminate the consequences of all conflict situations yourself. When you quarrel with your spouse, do not blame him for poor upbringing. Mentioning a mother during a family showdown can lead to a break in relations with her husband.

Consult your mother-in-law often. Take an interest in your husband's favorite recipes. Ask a relative what to do in certain situations. Let her feel her worth. The point of view heard does not mean unconditional acceptance of it. You can do as you please.

Always thank the woman for even the smallest help. Invite the mother-in-law to visit. Rejoice sincerely in her arrival. Sharing tea, accompanied by friendly conversation, brings warmth to the relationship. The old dislike for you can be replaced by favor.

Periodically call the mother of your chosen one, share good news with her, talk about your grandchildren and her son. The woman will be grateful for your pleasant messages. However, to avoid controversy, do not let your mother know about some of the intricacies of your family's personal life. Show your husband's parent signs of attention: congratulate on the holidays, give flowers and fruits, take an interest in health.

Sometimes, after marriage, a girl is disappointed because her mother-in-law does not treat her well. She expected to become a beloved daughter-in-law, and her husband's family does not accept the new member as a loved one. You should come to terms with this fact.

• Do not discuss your mother-in-law's behavior with friends and neighbors. Subsequently, gossip will reach her ears. A fragile relationship can go bad.
• Often irritation occurs when the mother-in-law's authority is denied... The daughter-in-law considers the beliefs of the new relative to be outdated. Refusal to follow the advice of an elderly woman and disagreement with her opinion gives rise to a feeling of their own uselessness. As a result, the lady begins to hate the young lady.
• No parallels should be drawn between the husband's parent and his own mother. Each person is closer to the people with whom he grew up. In this case, any comparisons are irrelevant.
• Do not flaunt passionate feelings for your husband in the presence of your mother-in-law. The mother perceives them as a demonstration of the seizure of the palm tree. The lady cannot come to terms with the fact that from now on she is not the main woman in her son's life. As a result, hatred ripens.
• Do not forbid your chosen one to visit his own mother, call her often.