What if you are offended?

Feelings of resentment are a natural reaction to the aggressive and vicious actions of others. In many cases, resentment helps to defend their interests and rights, giving an impetus to retaliatory actions. But what if, as it seems to you, you are offended too often? How to behave if a loved one has offended? The article will focus on how to respond to such unpleasant situations.

Our reaction to the actions of others is very individual. But you must admit that when you see an overly capricious and demonstratively vulnerable person, you want to avoid close communication with him.

Surely everyone at least once met such people, meek and non-aggressive, but certainly offended literally to the whole world. They, in fact, often experience troubles that they endure for a long time and hard. At work, they are disliked, despite the merits. Even close people often hurt them.

The person himself meekly endures everything that happens, does not go into direct conflict with anyone. The role of the sufferer is very firmly assigned to him.

The fact is that all people are capable of experiencing anger, anxiety, aggression and other emotions. But strong feelings, arising in consciousness as a reaction to events and situations, require some way out. And here we are talking about the ability or inability to express and experience them.

The character traits that were described above are called masochistic by experts. In this case, we are not talking about sexual preferences. This refers to unconscious revenge on oneself, associated with the fact that a person does not possess the techniques of an adequate outburst of emotions.

Most often, these are those whose parents strictly suppressed any manifestations of their child's feelings. He could be censured or scolded for crying, for loud laughter, or inappropriate, in the opinion of the parent, a cry, or just a phrase. As a result, a person gets used to hiding absolutely all emotions. Including fair aggression.

The bottom line is that in adulthood, such a person actually prohibits himself from experiencing strong emotions, experiencing them and giving them an adequate outlet. He is humbly restrained even in the most egregious situations, which often causes irritation in those around him and a desire to provoke him to any action.

A very accurate fairytale prototype of a person with masochistic character traits is Cinderella. A meek, kind, unrequited girl to evil and rudeness. She evokes contempt and intense hatred among sisters and stepmothers. Without giving them any, even verbal, rebuff, encourages them to invent more and more sophisticated mockery.

Of course, this raises a couple of questions. If a person, indeed, unconsciously suppresses anger in himself, isn't that good? Isn't he happy, having forbidden himself to have negative feelings towards others? The answer to both of these questions is, alas, no.

Repressed emotions caused by unpleasant situations never go away. But since a person does not experience them and does not express them to his offenders, difficult experiences already turn against him.

Resentment develops into auto-aggression. Therefore, in difficult situations, when such a person undergoes insults, mockery or harassment, it is much easier for him to remain a humble lamb. Then someone else will be bad and guilty. Being unrequited, people with such a character trait keep their image unblacked in their minds, which is very important for them.

Perhaps you recognized in the described character the traits of someone close to you or yourself. Next, let's talk about how to behave when they are offended.

Psychology gives many recommendations on how to adequately behave in the event of insult, rudeness and other unpleasant actions from others. However, of course, there are no completely universal instructions for all occasions. In any given situation, only you yourself can assess its severity and seriousness, and then decide how to react to it.

• It is better to skip troubles than to dwell on them. Appreciate your calmness and take care of your nerves. Weigh first all that has happened. Understand the reasons for the behavior of the one who offended you. Perhaps the situation happened by accident, and they really didn't want to hurt you. If the abuser has sincerely apologized, then it is best to forgive him and thereby provide a service to himself by letting go of his negativity.
• Before deciding on a response, think about how it will look from the outside. Let's say a coworker threw you a bad joke, and you burst into curses in response. Wouldn't that ruin your image? People are drawn to those who are calm and adequate, able to treat mistakes with understanding, not to be scattered over trifles. Sinking to the level of the offender or even trying to overtake him is ugly and unworthy.

• In the event that illegal actions have been committed against you, you have every right to contact the police. Taking away or damaging things and property, obscene threats and insults, the use of even light violence is a violation of the law. A statement to the appropriate authorities will rein in the bully and give the impudent lesson.
• Perhaps you are simply overly prone to resentment. You are very much offended by any jokes addressed to you, it seems that all people constantly harass you, and your beloved man does everything to spite you. In this case, you have to work with it. Try not to flare up right away, but objectively scroll through and assess the situation. Express your complaints calmly.It may very well be that the offender himself was ready to apologize, but you scared him off with your anger.
• It is very painful when a loved one offends. If we are still ready to give up on people who are indifferent to us, then in the event of an offense by a guy, husband or wife, negative feelings and resentment seem to multiply significantly. With a loved one, you should be especially careful in expressing emotions. Do you need a "war" in a relationship?

• There are people who are rude, rude and offending on purpose. It is better not to dignify them with your attention and, if possible, minimize or stop communicating with them.
• Talking to someone you trust can often help you deal with your emotions. Tell him about your grievance, express all your feelings about this. By letting go of feelings in this way, you are likely to cool down and more easily react to the trouble that happened.

For information on what to do if you are constantly offended, see the next video.