What is loneliness and how to deal with it?

Some scientists believe that loneliness from time to time can burst into a person's life and disrupt both his plans and life itself. We can say with precision: every person at some point at least once, but faced with a solitary state of mind. Therefore, everyone roughly understands that such a feeling cannot be called pleasant. Let's consider this issue in more detail.

Loneliness is a forced interruption of communicative communication with people. In this case, the person experiences anxiety, depressed mood and depression. Loneliness is a feeling that can be called phenomenal. In psychology, there are 2 types of loneliness: positive and negative.

The positive comes when a person really wants to experience solitude. For example, in order to write a novel or paint a picture. "Bad" loneliness is a state of complete isolation.

Therefore, the fear of loneliness in people is and will be. Man is a social being. For him, communicating with his own kind is not only normal, but also a natural need.

This type of feeling has numerous interpretations. Thanks to loneliness, any of us can freely regulate contacts with other people. By and large, loneliness is interrupted feedback from the outside world. but physical privacy is not always an indicator of complete alienation, as in this case a person can maintain contact with other people at a distance.

It is worse when the subject is surrounded by other people - and still experiences loneliness.For example, a guy or young lady may feel the described feeling if they don't find the right match for themselves.

An individual who is inert cannot afford to make new acquaintances. That is why he can be isolated for a long time. In this case, this person may be subject to very strong depressive states.

Some people are either tolerant or good about being alone. Other people do not tolerate isolation very well. Why it happens? Because loneliness has its pros and cons. Let's consider them in more detail. Let's talk about the pros first.

• Thanks to solitude, a person can analyze his actions, avoid mistakes.
• A person can become himself and this will create a positive mood.
• Solitude allows you to quite often arrange a vacation for yourself. And this is very useful for peace of mind.
• Voluntary loneliness can bring many bonuses. For example, a person will do what they love. He will devote a huge amount of time to him. He will succeed in terms of self-realization.
• The positive side of being alone is self-control. A person focuses on his biorhythms. Therefore, his state of mind and health are improving.
• You do not need to think about how people will react to your actions and deeds. You just act and wait for the result.
• You can get to know a lot of people and not be obliged to them.
• The appearance is improved and you like the way you look.
• Financial independence allows you not to skimp on your needs.
• Jealousy, anxiety and worries do not bother you.
• A person can decide for himself what to do and how to live.

Loneliness has its downsides.

• The consequences of being alone can be dire. For example, you may have a significant drop in self-esteem.
• Loneliness affects the psyche. The person becomes irritable. People who are close to an aggressive person distance themselves even more from him.
• There is a risk of developing bad habits.
• Loneliness leads to a lack of care and warmth from loved ones.
• There are other sides as well. For example, the advanced age of a person. At this time, any subject needs care that only close people can give.
• Loneliness is dangerous because the subject may develop various neuroses.
• A lonely person cannot realize her love and affection.
• People can judge behind their backs and gossip.
• Sometimes there is simply no one to talk to about the most pressing topics.
• From the outside there is no compassion, and even more so there is no one to support in difficult times.
• Various diseases can arise due to experiences - both cardiovascular and obesity.
• Immunity suffers.
• A person often thinks about death.
• Subject is unable to empathize. He is annoyed by people who have large families.
• You are overcome by chronic fatigue and, as a result, insomnia.

To begin with, experts identify 4 types of loneliness. Consider first internal positive outlook this mood of the soul. It is also called "proud loneliness". This state of mind gives a person freedom.

External positive type arises when an individual retires from everyone physically in order to find some new idea. Next comes inner negative loneliness... In this case, individuals experience rejection of their "I". Therefore, being in the very center of human attention, they still feel alienated.

It should be noted that the experience that people get when they are alone is heterogeneous.It manifests itself in different ways in different social groups. For example, subjects who have been married for a long time, who have lost their other half, can experience their loneliness very negatively.

Solitude from society is a special form of self-awareness. In this case, there is a complete rupture of relations and connections that existed in the social structure of a person.

Loneliness is so many-sided and varied that it has not only types, but also types. For example, the psychologist and author of numerous books on psychology S.G. Korchagina identified 3 types of loneliness. Let's list them.

• Diffuse loneliness implies in the behavior of the subject empathy, suspicion, resistance when conflicts arise. The appearance of such a state in a person can occur as a result of betrayal. Therefore, these individuals need support from the outside. They expect sympathy. Subjects with this kind of condition are driven by fear and longing. When they find support, they necessarily agree with all the arguments of the person who provided them with this support.
• Anxiety can be a reason for alienating loneliness. Subjects suffering from this condition are often highly conflicted and suspicious. They are haunted by the thought that someone might harm them. Therefore, such individuals do not have friends and relatives.
• Loneliness dissociated has very complex combinations of feelings and manifestations. The subject cannot fully understand his condition. This syndrome puts pressure on his psyche. Therefore, the mood is constantly changing. This means that a person may have an ambiguous attitude towards her close and familiar people. As a result, she gradually loses them.

It should be noted that most researchers divide the state of loneliness into such types as chronic, situational and transient.

This is the most hopeless and difficult kind. A person can fall into such a negative state for various reasons. For example, as a result of childhood psychological trauma. In the first place, chronic loneliness often arises from improper upbringing. If in childhood a child was constantly subjected to total control and showed indifference to him, then this factor will definitely have a bad effect on his adult life.

Even the name in this case speaks for itself. People very often experience this loneliness for various reasons. Sometimes situations do not work out well, and therefore subjects experience a kind of alienation and bouts of loneliness.

For example, spouses after divorce may be subject to this condition. This will happen because people who are accustomed to being around all the time will feel a craving for each other after parting for a while. However, it will pass over time.

Or another example. A person who comes to a big city where there are no friends and close people may also experience forced seclusion. As soon as he meets like-minded people, this state will disappear.

This type involves short-term bouts of loneliness. For example, a new day is coming, and a person for a long time cannot communicate with anyone and pour out his soul. If this happens, then he has a feeling of a complete vacuum.

First of all, it should be noted that from time to time a person needs to be alone in order to rethink the course of his life.However, any psychologist will note at the same time: if loneliness becomes protracted, you need to fight it. How? First of all, you need to understand and determine: why such a negative state has come. Having learned the reason for its occurrence, you can begin to correct the situation.

Children are very worried if adults do not pay any attention to their problems. For example, parents are very busy with their work and there is simply not enough time for the child. They "pay off" him with expensive toys, lock the child in the room so that he does not interfere. He, in turn, sits alone. He is bored because there is no one to talk to.

Meanwhile, children are in great need of constant attention from adults. That's why the older generation needs to pay as much attention as possible to their children. How? Play with them, ask about the events that happened during the day, give advice, relax together, and so on. Then your child will begin to open his soul, stop feeling lonely.

Adolescents also have such conditions quite often. This age is characterized by excessive excitability. It seems to a boy or a girl that growing up has come. but in fact, at heart such subjects are still children.

Their fragile consciousness cannot cope with desires. They want freedom and at the same time understanding from adults. When they find neither one nor the other in the environment, they begin to fall into depression. This is a direct path to loneliness.

Therefore, parents need to closely monitor the condition of their child. Talk to him about various topics and give wise advice. Support is also very important at this age.

However, it should be noted that adults are often exposed to the feeling of loneliness. Many do not want to admit such a state of mind, therefore, veiledly call themselves not lonely, but free individuals. Such actions are protection from the outside world.

It must be remembered that the feeling of complete isolation from society gradually pulls a person into a depressive state. If there is absolutely no way out of it, then a person needs to come to terms with it. Then it will become much easier and the subject will start looking for a way out of this situation. For example, he will start working on his own “I”, plunge into some promising project. A person with a normal psyche will be able to change himself both inside and outside.

There are other ways as well. Let's consider them. If there are no close people nearby and you do not have the opportunity to tell them about your problems, then try not to get too hung up on these negative factors. Moreover, there is no need to feel sorry for yourself and cry in this case. Instead, try to explain to yourself that your isolation is temporary. In the meantime, you need to fully enjoy freedom and independence.

Introduce yourself. It is possible that your solitude is the way out of this situation. Maybe you've always wanted to belong only to yourself or to yourself. And now fate gave such an opportunity.

Stop hanging out with people who make you feel even more sad. If you are experiencing a vacuum in communication, then expand the circle of people who have common interests with you. Then your life will become much brighter and you will no longer experience a state of alienation.

Although psychologists do not advise to get involved in virtual communication, our modern life dictates its own rules. Today you can find like-minded people on the Internet anywhere in the world. So try to use this chance.

Live communication is much better than virtual communication. If you have the opportunity to go to a party where you can find a loved one, break away from your usual activities and go where they are waiting for you. Perhaps in this way you can change your destiny.

Loneliness can occur if a person experiences self-doubt. It is necessary to know that this problem occurs in a person for a reason. This individual may have had a difficult childhood. At an early age, he did not have the opportunity to express himself, and the habit of staying always "in the shadows" lingered for a long time.

And it is possible that such a condition in the subject appeared as a result of some kind of psychological trauma. For example, a loved one behaved incorrectly, insulted or humiliated.

In this case, you need to take the necessary measures to raise your self-esteem. First of all, stop blaming yourself for such a nuisance happened to you. You have suffered. At the same time, do you still find the strength to blame yourself for something? Stop doing that.

To get rid of loneliness, you need to overcome your complexes. Stop acting coy. Nobody likes it. Be bold and decisive.

Imagine that there is a core inside you. It helps you repel negative energies. Think like this: everything you do, you are doing right. Therefore, feel free to express your thoughts and do things that seem quite adequate to you.

You should know that no one will take care of your condition better than yourself. So love yourself first. Say no to fears. People treat a person the way he himself allows them to do it. Therefore, in any case, do not let yourself be offended. Defend and stand firmly on your feet. Then you will not be afraid of any loneliness.

In addition, you will definitely find like-minded people. It is always interesting to communicate with people who are passionate about something. As a result of many contacts, you will forget that you once suffered from solitude.

Look at yourself from the outside. It is possible that your unkempt appearance repels people. Admit to yourself that it would be unpleasant for you to communicate with people who do not care about their appearance.

So fix the situation. Make an appointment with your stylist and hairdresser. Change beyond recognition. Always be beautiful and neat. You will immediately feel how everyone will pay attention to your appearance and will admire her. And then the matter is small. Try to connect with the people around you. The more there are, the better it will be for you.

The outer shell is eye-catching. However, under the cover there must be the mind and beauty of the soul. Therefore, improve yourself. Sign up for trainings that increase intelligence. However, smart books from the library will also help you acquire a lot of knowledge.

Stop being demanding of people.Perhaps your inflated conditions scare away potential friends and acquaintances from you. Don't be overly humble where you don't need to. Potential partners may mistake your humble behavior for inattention. As a result, your future chosen one will simply leave, leaving behind no hope for the next meeting.