What if the husband is constantly unhappy with everything?
![What if the husband is constantly unhappy with everything?](https://fashion.decorexpro.com/images/article/croppedtop/450-255/2018/11/chto-delat-esli-muzh-postoyanno-vsem-nedovolen.jpg)
Perhaps, almost no one can honestly boast that they have an ideal marriage relationship. It is natural and normal to strive for harmony, intimacy and a friendly emotional atmosphere in your family nest. But the achievement of such a relationship is the result of the great and everyday work of each of the spouses. Therefore, if difficulties arise, you should not give up and give up, it is better to adequately assess the situation, sort out the problems and solve them together.
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Spouse's dissatisfaction
It is very difficult to endure the tense emotional atmosphere in the family. Many women are forced to put up with the fact that their husbands always find fault, criticize, reproach and insult. Moreover, this can often happen for almost no reason or for far-fetched reasons. A man, as they say, “starts up with half a turn”: he shouts, expresses dissatisfaction with the prepared food, housework, reproaches him for any shortcomings, or reproaches his wife with money.
Offensive words can be repeated over and over again without subsequent apologies. The claims are getting smaller and more far-fetched. Tired of enduring this, many women are ready to decide on a divorce and break up relations with a once loved one. What are the reasons for this behavior of the spouse?
It is possible to change the current unpleasant situation and improve relations only if the root of the problems is eliminated or at least corrected.
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A man may show negative emotions towards his wife due to one or more of the following factors.
- Often a woman complains that her husband constantly yells even without good reason and is unhappy with everything, but at the same time she does not try to assess the general emotional state of her soul mate. Such manifestations can be a signal of accumulated stress, chronic fatigue or prolonged psycho-emotional overload. Most often, this can be due to problems at work. Tired after a working day and not being able to relieve stress in other ways, the man, returning home, screams and reproaches his wife for sheer trifles.
- Perhaps rude family behavior is manifestation of personality traits and character of the spouse. Before cohabitation, they could simply be invisible. Common life is often very unexpectedly capable of revealing a person from a completely different side. For example, for a choleric person it is simply characteristic that he is almost always angry, often grumbles and always makes remarks to others. Unfortunately, even a close and beloved person cannot avoid such manifestations.
- It is mistakenly believed that a man is almost always satisfied with his sex life, especially with its regularity. But this is not at all the case. And exactly sexual disorders very often become the cause of quarrels and loss of understanding. The situation is aggravated by the fact that not all couples are ready to adequately discuss intimacy, correctly express their wishes or comments to their partner. Often, a woman is generally not inclined to look for the root of problems in this area, not seeing the connection between sex and communication in everyday life. This leaves the problem unresolved and increases the tension between spouses over time.
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- Like women, the stronger sex it is common to create a certain ideal of your life partner. Having begun to get to know her much closer, the husband inevitably encounters certain disappointments. This is especially often manifested in dissatisfaction with the wife on maternity leave. During this period, a pregnant woman undergoes physical changes, as well as fluctuations in the emotional state. Of course, a man can understand that it is impossible to blame her for this, but he simply cannot restrain himself in many cases. The fact is that he himself is in some confusion and does not have time to accept the qualities and image of his beloved woman that are new to him. It seems to him that in front of him is almost another person, previously unknown to him, connected with him by marriage.
The remarks, criticism and reproaches expressed to the second half are an attempt to embody the image previously thought up and idealized by a man.
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- A mother-in-law can set her son up against a woman she dislikes. For whatever reason, having disliked her initially, the mother will try to cause discord in the couple's relationship. If a man is strongly attached to his mother, for the most part he will blindly take her side and unconsciously agree with her opinions and claims.
- A very unpleasant and serious reason for the sharp and rude behavior of the husband can be romance on the side. These can be very fleeting feelings that will soon fade away. But during their height, the life partner fades in the eyes of the spouse. But the new passion, on the contrary, simply flourishes with advantages and often imaginary advantages.
- The reasons for irritation and reproaches can be the real flaws of a woman. Often, overestimated self-esteem does not allow us to adequately assess our qualities and actions. Listen and take a closer look at yourself. Are you showing similar negative attacks in your relationship with your spouse? Are your chores and food flawless? Sometimes a woman simply does not want to admit that she is doing something bad or untidy and stubbornly stands her ground, repeating her mistakes over and over again. And the husband is forced to express claims and comments in a more rude, harsh and irritated form in order to "reach out" to his wife.
- It is possible that your husband has observed a tense relationship with his parents. Often in adulthood, such children, without having a positive example, in their marriage begin to practically copy the behavior of your family members.
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How can I help myself and my husband?
Above all, be aware of the fact that letting the situation take its course will almost certainly not change for the better. It is important to help mend a faltering marriage relationship. sincerity, love for a partner and patience. Without these qualities, it is impossible to build trusting and mutually respectful communication even in the premarital period, and even more so after the conclusion of an alliance and the beginning of life together.
Take the time to have quiet conversations. Representatives of the stronger sex, although they are more inclined to keep their experiences to themselves, still react very positively to any kind and confidential conversation with a loved one. If your man is having problems at work, support and encourage him, show that you believe in him. If a fight starts to flare up, try not to get turned on. Do not shout back or escalate the conflict situation. Constructive calm discussion of the problem is much more effective than any scandal and mutual insults.
Sometimes it is better to leave the man alone and let him calm down. Tell him gently and without challenge that his words are very offensive to you. Explain that you would like to talk calmly about the problem, so ask him to cope with his emotions anyway. After that, leave the room or go for a short walk.
It is better to reason with the conflict at its inception, rather than exchange insults in the heat, from which both will be hurt and ashamed.
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Try to still correctly discuss your feelings in bed with your husband. If it is obvious that you and your spouse are not ready for such a conversation, do not be afraid to contact a sex counselor for married couples. Listen to the advice of a counseling psychologist in this area. Unfortunately, in our country, many still have prejudices and shame regarding intimacy. But such consultations help so many couples to harmonize their sex life and relationships, as well as keep from breaking up.
Help your man realize himself in an interesting business or hobby. Life should not be limited to work and family. Such a limitation of one's horizons and activities is very exhausting, leads to nervous and emotional exhaustion. Offer him interesting weekend getaways or creative pursuits. Perhaps a new common hobby will appear in your couple. And this is a sure way to get closer and resolve disagreements.
Try to work on your shortcomings. Talk to a close friend or parent and ask them to point out them objectively and honestly. You should not defend and cherish your weaknesses. Such tactics will only lead to moral laziness, complacency, and arrogance. And these qualities are very noticeable and unpleasant in any communication, not only within a married couple, but also in other areas.
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Watch yourself. Maintain a neat appearance even at home. Change your look sometimes, this will create the effect of novelty in the eyes of your spouse. Try to build good, trusting relationships with your parents, loved ones, and friends of your husband. Even if one of them is unpleasant for you for some reason, keeping in touch with them will give you two big positives.
First, you will be able to more fully reveal for yourself the personality of your chosen one, find out his childhood and youth dreams and hobbies, interests, hobbies. It will surely help you in your relationship. Second, you can avoid potential bullying from your spouse's family or friends. After all, if you fence yourself off from them, then they may well form a negative opinion of you and treat you with distrust. And this is the ground for intrigue, slander and turning your husband against you.
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It is useless, only an outsider can reason.
Absolutely to the point. And that's not a fact.
Shouldn't a man try somehow too? According to the advice, it turns out that a woman should only please, guess desires, indulge and cherish. And endure his screams.
I totally agree. How many I read on the Internet - everywhere advice to a woman to adapt to a man, as if they deify him everywhere.
Exactly! So keep spinning all your life, delve into, understand, serve, strive, strive !! It can't just get bored at all ?!
Nobody owes anything! It is natural and normal to strive for harmony, intimacy and a friendly emotional atmosphere in your family nest. But the achievement of such a relationship is the result of the great and everyday work of each of the spouses. Why a woman? Because she is the "keeper of the hearth".
Better to be alone than to adapt to his mood!
Exactly!
All the time a reproach, I am dissatisfied with everything, I don’t want to live ...
Interestingly, you yourself adjust to the man? I think that there should be some self-respect too. In a couple, both partners should try for the good of the relationship. Everything should be mutual.
Why advice is only for women, and a man should not do anything?
The husband is unhappy, and anyone is to blame, but not himself. He is perfect, and the woman is nothing and nothing, but she must try, if only the little man was satisfied. Yes, he is unhappy simply because he is such a person, with low self-esteem, a disliked egoist.
This is for sure - men are never to blame, the wife is always to blame, and they are just gods.
Yes, you need to adjust and work on relationships if a woman wants to keep the family and leave the children with their father. And if you want to live for yourself only, you didn't have to get married. What to do if a man is domineering, you need to look for an approach. A person who will obey is suitable for him by psychotype. Leader and leader will not get along, there will be fights all the time, and someone has to give in. And by the way, with the right behavior of a woman, she can ensure that her husband is inferior to her. But here wisdom is needed. You can't go through with a strong man. And one wise relative, by the way, said that one should be silent when there is a quarrel, and not speak against if the husband is freaking out. Helps to get out of the conflict faster.
Silence when you are "covered"? Advice for "endured".
Silence and endure when a man is mad is not wisdom, but idiocy.
We are about 70, tired of constant irritation and dissatisfaction for scanty reasons.
It is very scary to stay with such a man in old age. I myself (even though I'm under 40) endure, looking for good in such an eternally negative person, trying to fight back, and in response there are always so many complaints that you start digging into yourself. I cut the sausage not so, the fresh pies are very difficult.
This is terrible. Run from him.
And what to do with the fact that it has always been this way in their family? I realized with horror that the husband was copying the mother-in-law! I can’t do anything about it. Sometimes I am silent. But if it overflows - hold me six, five will not! You can't just be silent and look into your mouth! It turns out that a woman should keep the family, but her husband does not have to.
Love yourself, women, and respect your own peace.
Beloved girls, I think this article is addressed to women, because women bring up this topic. Girls, I found a way out for myself more or less (I'm 38, my daughter is 1.5 years old): 1. Realize that it's not about me. 2.Accept the situation and talk it over with my husband calmly (I am making a list of points). We have to say everything about once a month ... but it is comforting that this is the case for everyone. We just live in such a world now. 3. Be filled with your own interests (faith, unconditional love (expect nothing from anyone), hobbies, work, etc.). When you don't dissolve in a person, somehow everything falls into place by itself. ... I have a plan of action (after the decree): - fitness, healthy lifestyle, regimen, training, connection with oneself, divine harmony (well, peace of mind), fresh diet; - comfort, renovation, moving (everything that can be done for a comfortable life to the maximum, so that the house is happy and light); - work (earnings); - development (study, etc.); And, of course, the upbringing of the baby. Knowing yourself and the world. I noticed that the less you get hung up and are just in the flow of life, the faster everything falls into place. Any situation is given to us with meaning - knowing and improving ourselves. By the way, I liked the article :) All patience and awareness, dear.
Simply, without unnecessary discussion, you can listen to advice from the heart ...