The wife is constantly unhappy: the reasons and how to solve the problem

Although each of us undoubtedly strives for harmony and mutual respect in marriage, it is not always possible to achieve such an ideal. In the life of spouses there are difficult periods and unpleasant ups and downs. But they are all surmountable if there is a spiritual relationship and sincere feelings between partners. But in some couples, situations may arise where one of the spouses very often or almost constantly expresses dissatisfaction with the partner. The reasons and methods for overcoming the wife's constant dissatisfaction with her husband will be discussed in this article.

The psychology of a married couple's relationship is by no means simple. The expression "darlings scold, only amuse themselves", indicating the frivolity of conflicts and quarrels, is not true in all cases.

It is not uncommon for men in marriage to face the fact that they are forced to live in a difficult and hostile atmosphere. The wife is always unhappy with her husband, often insults for no reason, makes far-fetched and unreasonable demands and claims. If there are children in the family, such an unfavorable environment has a very negative effect on their emotional and mental health. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for men in such a situation to simply break loose in response, showering their soulmate with reciprocal rude words and reproaches. As a result, scandals exhausting both partners occur in the house almost every day.

Both spouses should approach the solution of such a problem with full seriousness. It is important for a man to figure out what is the reason for this behavior and the almost constantly inflated state of his partner. The wife also needs to work on her psychological difficulties.She should try to find a way out not in the sphere of scandals and systematic humiliation of a loved one, but in rational methods of correction and control of the psychoemotional state.

Consider the possible reasons for the disorder in family relations in a couple, because of which the wife is always rude, insults and expresses dissatisfaction without objective reasons.

Oftentimes, these kinds of relationship breakdowns are caused by problems in the sex life of a couple. Having been dissatisfied with sexual relations for a long time, but not being able, embarrassed or unwilling to express this, a woman gradually accumulates emotional stress. Over time, stress only grows, and the spouse begins to unconsciously look for relaxation in the everyday sphere. Many women do not associate their sex life with their psychological state at all. This makes it very difficult to recognize and then resolve relationship problems.

Shyness of one or both spouses is a barrier to improving family life. Partners are not ready to competently discuss sex, express mutual wishes to each other, point out some negative points. A similar situation, when a couple lacks a healthy sex life that satisfies both partners, greatly complicates the relationship outside of bed.

Emotional remoteness of spouses, lack of common interests and opposition of characters greatly complicate family life. It is not uncommon for a man to choose for marriage, which was somewhat forced. Unfortunately, even today, marriages of convenience or at the insistence of parents are still being contracted. An unplanned pregnancy can also be the reason for such an inappropriate union. In any case, it is almost certain that such partners, living together in marriage, will be deprived of a sincere spiritual relationship.

Lack of common interests and points of contact will complicate normal communication. But living side by side, it is impossible to ignore each other's existence. Therefore, the reasons for communication, in this case - negatively colored, are simply pondered. This results in nagging, reproaches, insults from one or both spouses.

The reason that a woman scolds her husband may be that family environment that she observed as a child. In other words, a girl or woman, having married and starting a life together with a man, unconsciously repeats the scenario of building relationships that she saw with her parents. Often, in such cases, there are even children's psychological trauma, if the girl had to observe difficult scenes of scandals and even violence.

The parents of the wife can also inflame the situation in the family. Most often, the mother interferes with the daughter's relationship. A mother-in-law may speak negatively about her son-in-law. Often, an adult woman can even embark on adventures in order to humiliate the chosen one in the eyes of her daughter. The situation is further aggravated if the spouses live in the same house or apartment with the wife's parents.

The reason for the sharp and rude behavior of the wife may lie in the negative character traits of the man himself. The spouse is thus forced to defend herself or defend her interests. Often, husbands openly show unreasonable jealousy, possessiveness, restrict the freedom of the other half, preventing her from realizing her interests and engaging in hobbies. Deprived of communication with friends, not having the opportunity to do something interesting for herself, in addition to work and family, a woman in response tears off her emotional stress on her spouse.

Serious consequences for the psychoemotional sphere of a woman have experienced episodes of violence, including sexual violence, by a man. It can be beatings by the father, and violent fights with an older brother, rape by a partner or a stranger. If a woman did not receive psychological help and could not cope with the trauma on her own (which is possible in very rare cases), then fear, resentment, helplessness in front of brute force remain in her subconscious for a long time.This is a very difficult situation that requires long-term rehabilitation and work with a psychotherapist. Women are most often ashamed of such experiences, and the husband may not even know that the wife has ever been abused. Consequently, he cannot even imagine that the root of the problem behavior of the second half lies precisely there.

Of course, a loving spouse certainly wants to return a calm and welcoming atmosphere to his family. However, it is worth setting yourself up for the fact that it may not be possible to do this as quickly as we would like. Patience is essential in any relationship, whether marital or premarital. It is this quality that is important to stock up on, with the goal of preserving and strengthening your marriage.

Psychologist's advice for men

• Try to have a relationship of trust with your spouse's parents, close friends, and relatives. This will help to significantly reduce the likelihood of negative comments from their side. Your other half has been your beloved daughter, sister or close friend for many years. Seeing you as an introverted person who avoids contact, they are most likely to mistrust you. And then, on the part of parents and friends, it is quite possible to expect a defensive reaction in the form of slander and turning your wife against you. Chatting with your spouse's friends and family will also help you discover your spouse's personality more fully. And these are new topics for conversations and activities for joint recreation and creativity.
• Take the time to have confidential conversations with your wife. Remember, she has interests and experiences that are important for her to share with a loved one. Do not rush to condemn or prohibit something without objective reasons.

• Don't ignore problems in your sex life. Talk to your spouse about her feelings during intimacy. If both you and your wife are not ready to discuss such an issue, do not be afraid to contact a sexual relations specialist. All over the world, married couples visit such consultants, and this helps to strengthen the marriage, establish mutual understanding, and often prevents divorce.
• Objectively evaluate your behavior, habits, manner of communication with your spouse. Self-examination of your personality traits is useful in all situations. Often we reproach a loved one for what we ourselves regularly do.
• Often, husbands make the mistake of trying to please the other half in everything in any conflict. Of course, you need to make contact and correct really committed mistakes. But here indulge in unreasonable demands, insults and nit-picking is still not worth it. This will not get rid of the essence of the problem.

There are simple tips to follow.

• Try to be calm, do not respond rudely to rudeness, do not escalate the situation. Constructive adequate communication is much more effective than a heated quarrel.
• If the spouse cannot calm down and does not make contact, perhaps you should leave her alone for a while. Leave for a while in another room or go for a walk. Before that, gently tell your wife that her words are very offensive to you, and that you are ready to give her time to recover, and then calmly discuss the problem with her.
• Learn techniques for controlling your emotional state. For example, breathing into account. To calm down, do not quickly count to yourself to 4, taking a steady breath, hold your breath for another 4 counts at the same pace, then exhale evenly for 8 counts.