Why does personal enmity arise and what to do about it?

It happens that in society it is difficult for us to interact with someone and build relationships due to the fact that people irritate us for no reason. In order to understand this topic, we will consider in detail the causes, manifestations and consequences of such a negative reaction, and also talk about ways to deal with it.

Personal dislike is a prejudiced negative attitude towards another person. Usually it is formed in some communities, at school, at work, and even in the family.

This psychological process can be divided into three types:

• asymmetrical personal dislike, when one person is negatively disposed towards another, and he, in turn, is positive;
• general dislike when two people do not mutually accept each other;
• a complex personal dislike is characterized by the fact that both pretend to take offense at each other, but in fact do not feel an obvious dislike.

One of the reasons for the emergence of hostility is the accumulated dissatisfaction in relation to a person. For example, a subordinate did not like how his boss treated him, but he did not reprimand him for fear of being fired from his job. As a result, the boss again behaves badly with his employee, who thus forms personal dislike. Another reason for the emergence of hostility can be gossip, for example, discussion in the work collective by the superiors of their employees. Hearing from one of the colleagues that someone from the bosses responded badly about him, the person begins to feel indignation in the current situation.In this case, a misunderstanding of the story may result in a sudden gossip conflict. Harassment can also lead to personal animosity. If, for example, a teacher prejudices his student and humiliates him in front of the class, the student becomes resentful.

It often happens that personal animosity arises from unjustified expectations. This usually happens in a relationship when one of the partners considers the other perfect and overestimates the requirements for him. When the object of love does not meet expectations or does not fulfill the promise of the lover in time, he begins to think that the partner deceived him from the very beginning. This is how discord occurs between people. It happens that a person has a dislike for another out of nowhere. The reason may lie in unpleasant memories. For example, as a child, a man with a beard scared a child by yelling at him for no reason. In adulthood, such a person, for example, working as a salesman, may dislike all customers with a beard, while not understanding why he feels such feelings.

Dislike is manifested by a hostile attitude towards a person. Even the usual manifestation of positive emotions by the opponent against the background of hostility can be regarded as ridicule or contempt. Irritation, unwillingness to see, listen and talk will be your companions at the sight of a dislike person. When you meet or during a conversation with such a person, you will have a desire to express your dislike by shouting in order to somehow relieve your tension.

A similar manifestation of emotions is typical for hot-tempered and emotional people. More restrained persons will not show others their anger and anger. They will act differently. Such people will communicate with the interlocutor as with a small child, explaining everything several times. Sometimes this attitude is even more annoying than screaming. After all, it is unpleasant when an adult considers his interlocutor stupid and inadequate.

First, you need to honestly admit to yourself that dislike is a problem that brings negative emotions. Only by realizing it can you understand how to proceed. Psychologists advise keeping a diary in which you need to write down all your feelings. Divide a diary page into three columns and write down in great detail the reasons for your irritation, then describe your feelings and how the person should behave, in your opinion.

The result will depend on how you work through your feelings and emotions. You will feel the inner tension and anger go away. Perhaps you will understand that what annoys you in a person is in yourself, and you would like to behave in the same way, but do not allow yourself to do so. Try observing the person you dislike. Study the motives of his behavior to better understand his life. But don't try to befriend him out of guilt, as that will be disingenuous.

At first, you will tend to avoid meeting and communicating with the person you personally dislike. In his presence, you will feel discomfort and irritation. This can negatively affect all areas of your life, especially if this person is your colleague, classmate or relative. By showing your dislike, you ruin the relationship and your reputation in the team. Since social connections are extremely important in life, you should not quarrel with people who can be useful to you in the future in a difficult situation.