What does the phrase "From love to hate one step" mean and is it true?
In a relationship between two people, often not everything is cloudless. There are moments when you have to solve problems, find compromises. And someone begins to be interested in the question: what does the expression "From love to hate one step" mean. You should find out if there is any basis for such a claim.
The emergence of the utterance
The history of this statement is rooted in the distant past. And not a single source can say exactly when this expression appeared, who specifically expressed it. Some attribute authorship to Aristotle, others to Seneca. Still others consider it a Russian proverb.
Since such a phrase is quite well-known, it should have appeared in any winged sayings or works of these philosophers. However, nothing of the kind has yet been found. Therefore, it is difficult to adhere to any one version. The fact that from hatred to love one step was mentioned in his poems by the Russian poet Alexander Pushkin. And in everyday life, we quite often refer to this expression.
One thing is clear for sure. Wise ancestors don't just say anything. There is only one step from love to hate - a truth tested by life itself. This means that love passes for a variety of reasons, and hatred remains. And most often this does not happen immediately and spontaneously, the negative accumulates for a certain time, and then there is no way to cope with your emotions. As a result, there is only 1 step left, after taking which, many can no longer return to their former feelings. The psychology of a man in love is such that at first he does not notice the shortcomings of a partner, and this applies to both men and women.
People tend to err at times, at some point the “rose-colored glasses” fall off, and a loved one begins to be perceived through the prism of their own needs.
Why it happens?
Many people ask the question - where do feelings go and why? It often happens that just yesterday everything was fine, but today love burst like a soap bubble, leaving a very unpleasant aftertaste in the form of hatred. There are many reasons for the origin of this feeling.
Often there is a situation when in a couple only one person loves, while the second allows himself to be loved. This second accepts all signs of attention, good deeds, positive emotions that a loving person gives him. But at the same time he does not even bother to respond in kind. Over time, the energy of a loving person dries up. Not seeing any reaction and even a minimal return, he begins to think about the situation and his whole life, begins to get tired. And then comes the feeling of powerlessness, the impossibility of correcting the situation. Hence, anger arises, which can later develop into hatred.
There is an option when love just passes, so being together is no longer so interesting. The lack of vivid sensations and positive emotions makes life boring and dull. As a result, irritation begins to grow, it accumulates and pours out into the same hatred.
A common and commonplace reason is a very bad act of the other half. And most often it is either betrayal or treason. In most cases, this becomes impossible to forgive.
But even if people try to overstep it and go further, all the same, over time, hatred wins, and love fades into the background or disappears altogether.
Another point is when, for some reason, we are not satisfied with the behavior and actions of our partner. There is not enough of his attention, some important steps, it begins to seem that he does not really love. To understand everything and talk directly is not enough courage. Self-love comes to the fore at some point. And then a feeling of hatred wakes up to a once loved one.
A common reason when this happens in a family is everyday life. Some responsibilities and affairs take up all the time of one of the two partners. And the second one does not want to participate in this process in any way. It is unlikely that such a situation can develop for a long time without causing irritation. All patience ends.
There comes a time when only anger remains in the soul of the first partner. It changes: new habits appear that cause discomfort to the family, cause problems for the other half. At this stage, hatred begins to manifest. After all, the previous course of life has been disrupted, everything has changed for the worse, and a specific person is to blame for this.
Another scenario, when hatred is born in the heart, is as follows: one of the partners leaves the other, leaving no hope of return... In this case, the one who loves deeply and cannot imagine life without his half begins to try to return everything. Convinced that this is not possible, he harbors a resentment. In the end, his desire for revenge comes first.
And sometimes the reason comes from outside. This happens when someone tries to get into a relationship between two people and destroy everything. This is expressed in the fact that one of the couple receives unpleasant information about a loved one, which in fact does not have any ground under it. But imagination cannot be stopped. It begins to draw the most terrible pictures, as a result of which negative emotions boil by themselves. Clarification begins, mutual resentment arises, which leads the relationship to collapse.
Too high demands of one of the partners can also be the reason leading to destructive emotions. Such a person usually does not want to understand his partner, as well as the fact that throughout life one cannot remain impeccable and fulfilling any desires.Everyone has mood swings, problems to solve, troubles at work, and other situations. When a partner, to whom, in fact, demands that are unbearable, in fact, begins to not meet the far-fetched criteria, irritation arises. And if you can't do everything your own way, there is a feeling of disappointment, and then hatred.
Anyway, but each couple in love has their own story and their own relationships, which arise, develop, and then lead to such a result. And someone must take responsibility, take the first step and help the other change or change with him.
Another option is also possible, for example, to finish everything and try to quickly get away from unpleasant memories.
Can a relationship be saved?
It does not always happen that the relationship collapses, and nothing can be returned. Relationships can sometimes be saved, but the desire must come from both partners. True, you will have to try in full force. And you will also need to be patient - the process is likely to be delayed.
As noted above, the desire to save the relationship must come from both partners. One cannot do anything, no matter how hard he tries. You should not shift your blame onto the shoulders of another. We need to calmly figure everything out together, sort out all the situations on the shelves. You can even make claims to each other, but in the correct form in order to jointly come to a certain decision.
It so happens that it is very difficult for two people to do without the so-called arbiter. Then you can call a close relative, friend (girlfriend) for help, and it is best to turn to a psychologist who will competently look at the situation from the outside and help you figure it out.
If you take on the salvation of a relationship on your own, then you need to properly weigh everything.to understand whether it is necessary to save the relationship. It often happens that not only is it one step from love to hate, but also from hatred to love is just a stone's throw away. And this means that with purposeful joint work, there is a chance to return everything.
Maybe at first it is worth agreeing to make concessions to each other, everyone should try not to do what annoys their partner.
The best option to fix everything is to try to break away from the daily hustle and bustle. You can go on a hike, go on a trip, or at least just spend time together, going outdoors or having a romantic evening. The main thing is to be alone in an environment conducive to relaxation, harmony, and peace of mind.
Another point is to find a joint business that will captivate and help to act together, and when the result is achieved, rejoice together.
A common hobby also helps to find common ground. Joint walks on bicycles, skiing and skating, swimming - all this will help to get positive emotions. There should be as many pleasant moments as possible to be experienced together.
But all this works well only in those cases when there was a slight failure in the relationship, claims to each other have accumulated, there is a mutual desire to fix everything. If the problem is more serious and the relationship cannot be saved, it is necessary, on the contrary, to quickly disperse in different directions.so as not to hurt each other even more, and try to start your love life from scratch. Of course, memories that are painful will not be able to dissolve in an instant, but you need to learn this.
Psychologist's advice
When a situation arises that corresponds to the expression "From love to hate is one step", there can be two options for development. People either stay together and work to settle the relationship, or they break up and everyone lives their own life. Any decision can be mutual, or it can happen that only one path chooses one. The other partner can only accept and act according to the situation.If people decide to stay together, psychologists advise to talk calmly, find out why and at what point the failure occurred. But do not delve too deeply into the claims to each other. We need to find the strength in ourselves to fix or change everything. It is better to remember the good moments, to feel how good it was once together. You can visit your favorite places or those where significant events happened.
It is imperative for each of the partners to consider their behavior and answer the questions: if the requirements for a loved one are too high, maybe it is worth taking into account his desires and sometimes accepting his position. Here situations are just suitable when you can go on a hike together, visit a new place or a long-loved one, come up with a hobby, do a joint business.
But if it happened that you had to leave and all this is associated with painful memories, you need to pay attention to yourself. You can learn to meditate, do yoga or fitness, start going to the pool. You should distribute your time in such a way that there is no time to be sad and sorry for yourself. You can also go headlong into work if it can distract you from negative thoughts. You should not stay alone for a long time, it is better to communicate with friends, relatives, trying not to discuss the same topic, but to find new interesting reasons for communication.
Besides, you need to be ready for a new relationship. You should not think that life is over and nothing good will happen. On the contrary, one must open up to everything good and bright. Only then will pleasant events surely find you.
But if you cannot independently find the strength to let go of the situation, start living fully, then you can resort to the help of a specialist who will understand a specific situation, help you look at it differently, change your attitude towards it and start moving on.
Great article. Thanks!