Emotional memory: characteristics and methods of development

Why do most of us remember bad events better than good ones? Why are some afraid of the dark, others of water, and still others of fire? Someone is ready to help at any moment, and someone will pass by the drowning man? Emotional memory is also important in what we feel or not.

Emotional memory helps to keep in the mind of a person everything that he experienced in a certain situation. Subsequently, this information becomes a signal to repeat the past again, if the emotions experienced from this action in the past were positive, or will stop us from performing this or that action or deed, if doing the same earlier, we experienced negative.

Pavel Petrovich Bolsky - an outstanding teacher and philosopher of the last century, studying psychology, came to the conclusion that a person perceives the events that are happening here and now much more vividly. But nevertheless, having got into a situation similar to the one that happened earlier, he immediately receives a signal from the past, which makes him stop or, conversely, continue to do what he started according to the examples of the past. Wherein especially clearly the brain archives such feelings as surprise, suffering, fear. And this applies not only to people, but also to animals.

An example is a dog hit by a car. After a traumatic situation, she will never appear next to the road. The same thing happens with people, only unlike animals. such fear can lead not only to increased vigilance and caution, but even to seclusion. If a person in childhood often experienced negative emotions, in particular - fear, then in the future, most likely, he will become a fearful and distrustful individual.

It turns out that the state of emotional memory is akin to an indicator of our ability not only for self-preservation, but also for empathy and compassion - empathy... Although negative emotions may not carry frightening consequences. For example, a man choked on a duck bone in childhood, his parents were so scared that they took the boy to the hospital. Everything worked out, but now an adult cannot stand either a duck or a goose.

The consequences may be more significant. Thus, people who have experienced violence or bullying in childhood often limit their communications, cannot be realized in life, cannot feel a sense of compassion, participation in the troubles of others.

Developing emotional memory is easy. It is important to do this from early childhood, to form in the child a positive outlook on the world around him, because this way he will not only become kinder, but he will also feel more confident. Remember, the more good memories a person has, the more successful his life is.

Here's a short list of tips that will definitely help your little one in the future.

• Be more affectionate with the child, and not only when there is something to praise him for, but constantly... Even when you are just walking. Pay his attention to beautiful things, talk about nature, birds, animals only in a positive way. Believe me, if every time you flinch when a dog appears and say that it is scary, your child will most likely become afraid, not only of yard dogs, but of other animals as well.
• More often please your child with kisses, "hugs", make at least small pleasant gifts. Remember that bad memories are better remembered, which means that you need to help fill your emotional memory with positive memories not with quality, but with quantity.
• If your child is upset about something, try to remove or erase the feeling from their memory.... Find ways to distract him. Go for the trick. For example, make your child believe that their failure is just an unnecessary piece of paper that can be easily thrown away. In this case, be sure to show him this piece of paper, tear it together and throw it away. By the way, this trick also works with adults.
• Another similar way to get rid of negativity... Transfer your worries or feelings of the child to some unnecessary object or even several objects, wrap it or them in an unnecessary bag and take it to the trash can.
• Play a ball game. It resembles the well-known to us "Edible - inedible". Participants in a circle throw a ball to each other. The one who caught him must tell the others about some event that brought him joy. Thus, he himself "cleans" his emotional memory, and tunes others to a positive wave.
• But if in childhood you still did not receive positive emotions, then fill your head with them yourself. Meditation is a proven method for centuries. When you feel that "the world is unfair to you," close your eyes and remember some good moment in your life. First kiss, for example.
• Another way of meditation: close your eyes and move from the gray autumn to the warm sea, even if you have not been there for a long time and are not going to for a long time. Remember or even come up with the smell and color of the wave, you yourself will not notice how soon you will feel the breath of the sea breeze.

Read more. Immersed in someone else's story, be it the story of a fictional character or a famous person, you will involuntarily forget about your worries and adversities.