How to get rid of attachment to a person?
A person cannot live without attachment to something or to someone. He can have a favorable attitude towards close people, towards animals, towards the place of stay and towards the place of rest. The list goes on and on. However, sometimes attachment develops into an unhealthy feeling. This happens when one person becomes psychologically dependent on another.
When is it necessary to wean?
If you have a psychological problem in the form of an abnormal attachment, and it just eats you up from the inside, then you need to get rid of it urgently. For example, in life it happens like this: the person is sure that she has love for her partner. She tries to always be near and suffers greatly when she notices coldness towards herself. Such a relationship, where one of the partners experiences a painful sense of attachment, is very dangerous. Especially from not equally divided relationships those people who can be attributed to the anxious type suffer.
If there is some coldness on the part of your loved one, then you need to think about this problem. Remember, love only brings happiness when it is mutual. Human psychology implies an emotional attachment to something or to someone.
However, any attachment should bring positive emotions. The opposite will lead to a bad story, and its consequences will be difficult to get rid of.
Consider options with specific examples that indicate that attachment needs to be overcome.
- During separation, a person suffers from unhealthy experiences. For example, a girl experiences a very strong attraction to an ex-boyfriend, but he lives his own life and has already found himself another girlfriend. Too quickly the painful addiction will be difficult to get rid of. However, it is imperative to cope with the inner self. Therefore, the girl abandoned by her beloved needs to understand that nothing can be returned. To alleviate the condition, you need to repeat to yourself all the time: "He does not love you."
- Complete dependence on a person to whom he is strongly attached. For example, a guy has a strong attraction to his girlfriend. He wants to be with her all the time. He tries to control her every step. However, the girl does not appreciate his concern. She is annoyed by her partner's behavior. Therefore, after a while, she stops communicating with him and leaves for another young man. For an abandoned guy, this turn of events becomes tragic. If he himself does not cope with the problem, he will need outside help.
- Unpromising relationship. They can bring one of the partners to complete depression. For example, your chosen one is married and is not going to divorce his other half. If you are suffering from this relationship and are taking anti-anxiety pills, you should break it. It is possible that to get rid of the binding, you will need special therapy, which will be offered by a specialist.
- If there is treason in the relationship. The unfaithfulness of a spouse or spouse is a very strong experience that not every person can endure.
- When one partner takes advantage of the other's care, giving nothing in return. For example, a husband who lives off his wife. It doesn't work anywhere and simulates activity. A woman is forced to be torn between work, children and a lazy man. If this happens in your life, then try to rid yourself of problems.
Know that too much attachment is bad. Nevertheless, if a person has no attachments at all, then this indicates that he has a mental disorder.
Basic ways
It is impossible not to get attached to people at all, but attachment must be healthy. If she is "sick", then you need to get rid of her, and she will stop giving you a lot of difficult experiences. And for this you should try to pull yourself together and follow the following recommendations.
Break contact with a person
You can break the habit of a person to whom you are strongly attached, as follows: stop seeing the object of your adoration and it will definitely become easier for you. Albeit gradually, but you must come to the understanding that each meeting brings not joy, but grief. It is necessary to break all contact with a person when you understand the following.
- You don't get moral satisfaction and support from communicating with your partner.
- You don't see sympathy on his part.
- You need to overcome passion and forget a person when he cruelly and strongly condemns you for every involuntary offense or any mistake, tries not to notice your merits and treats you like a thing.
- It is very difficult to stop communicating and remove a loved one from the memory. However, if he manipulates you all the time, then it is simply necessary to do this.
- You need to get rid of the feeling even when your loved one is not trying to do anything in order for your communication to continue and grow into something more.
- If your friend or girlfriend, when communicating with you, flatters his pride, then you should also try to cut off all contacts.
Please note: those individuals who have selfish inclinations and are tuned only to the satisfaction of their I, will never understand that you are suffering. If you observe such inclinations in the behavior of your boyfriend or girlfriend, then do not try to prove anything to them, as it is useless. Just leave and save your nerves and health. This can be done in the following ways.
- Become inaccessible, namely, try to avoid frank and long conversations.If the meeting happens, then say hello and say a couple of meaningless phrases.
- Ignore any contact. You can even stop going to various events for a while to avoid meeting.
- Behave yourself, don't talk about your ex. Also, do not tell your friends about how and why you broke up.
- Show good manners. When you meet, do not be rude and show with all your might that you are calm and indifferent.
Communicate more with friends, acquaintances
It also happens that the attached person suffers due to the fact that a loved one betrayed her and left suddenly. In this case it is necessary, in spite of everything, to take all your will into your hands and start working on yourself. This will help communication with friends. Do not withdraw into yourself, but go out more often “into the light”. There you will find a large number of like-minded people. Perhaps your future soul mate will be among them. Therefore, in order to expand your circle of acquaintances, sign up for any interesting courses or start attending various master classes. This will help distract you and significantly raise your intellectual level.
Load yourself up with work. Don't give up on ideas that friends or acquaintances suggest to you. They can be multidirectional: from business to volunteering. By the way, among the volunteers there are a lot of decent people who know how to empathize. They will understand you and help you to self-actualize.
Remember that after giving good to the world around you, after a while you will receive it back, and in double the size.
Learn to enjoy life
Do not sit at home by the window with a pensive look. From such an activity, even the most cheerful person will fall into depression. Instead of a boring pastime, you need to do something. Then life will sparkle with new colors. First, go outside and walk. See how life is going in your city. Watch the birds, watch nature. Look at the sun. After an hour of such a walk, you will calm down and your condition will improve.
Take a look around. Everything goes on as usual. Thank God that every day you wake up in your bed safe and sound. Nothing hurts you, which means that you can afford to live on and please both yourself and others. May every step you take brings joy. To do this, turn on pleasant music in the morning and prepare a delicious breakfast with it. The commute to work should also be fun. If possible, get out a little early and walk. A trip on a crowded bus can be upsetting, and this way you will saturate your body with oxygen, raise your vitality, and your general condition will improve.
At work, try to smile and compliment everyone. Such actions will cause a backlash, and you will receive your portion of positive. Watch a life-affirming movie instead of "horror" or "action" the evening before bed. On a weekend getaway with friends.
Find a hobby
A person who experiences an unjustified craving for someone always has a lot of free time. He spends it on empty thoughts. All this happens because his thoughts are constantly occupied with one problem - to return a partner to whom he is strongly attached.
However, you need to remember that your desires are unreal. Therefore, stop thinking about the past and go to the future. For example, enroll in a sewing and sewing course. This will teach you how to sew and start dressing in fashion. You can play sports or go for an evening run every day. Perhaps this is how you can meet your future soul mate or find friends who will help you forget your partner.
To pursue a career
Prove to yourself and your ex that you can achieve more. To fulfill such a condition, you will need to work a lot on yourself. Then there will be no time left for empty memories. When it's hard to come back home, it's time to take up your career.So stay late at work and show your zeal to your boss. Let your actions be seen and appreciated.
Try to build relationships even with those colleagues whom you have always neglected. Let everyone in the team respect and love you. And then it's a matter of technology. Just remember that you need to believe in yourself and in your strength. If something turns out badly, then you should not give up. The more difficult it is, the more interesting it is. And the reward will be a result that will amaze everyone around you, including your ex-partner. Perhaps he will regret breaking up with you. Only now you will no longer be interested in it.
Work on yourself
This point will help you to believe in yourself. So read more and be interested in cutting edge information. If you think you have insufficient parenting, take lessons to improve your behavior in society. Show and prove to everyone that you are a person.
Refresher courses are what you need! Immerse yourself in this process with your head and after a while you will see the result. Your professionalism will allow you to earn more money that can be spent on a pleasant trip or trip.
Test your capabilities all the time and then you will be able to prove to the whole world and to yourself that you are a worthy person and will not allow yourself to suffer any more.
Recommendations
If you can’t come to terms with the loss of the location of a loved one, then you need to calm down first. And then try to adhere to the following recommendations.
- Start to respect yourself and love yourself. Nobody can do it better than you. You deserve more and you can even prove it to yourself. One has only to want.
- Stop blaming yourself for the separation from a loved one.
- Why did you decide that you must suffer for a person who is not worthy of you? Think about the flaws of a former boyfriend or girlfriend. Look at them from a new angle. Perhaps these shortcomings were and remain not so harmless. Ask yourself the question: "Why am I suffering because of an unworthy person?" Perhaps, by answering this question, you realize that the separation was not accidental.
- Start taking care of your health. Taking care of yourself is a very big job. It will take all of your time. You will simply have no time to suffer and cry for a departed love.
- A successful person always dresses in fashion. So you will raise confidence in your outer beauty and become a very noticeable person. And this will help to get rid of the old relationship.