What are the types of attachment and how to define them?

Each person is familiar with the feeling of parental, friendly, loving affection. The subject sometimes takes a deep attachment to a neighbor, colleague, dog, cat, work.

A strong emotional bond between two subjects, accompanied by a mutual interest in striving to maintain a close relationship, is called attachment. Psychological attachment refers to the willingness to feel the constant closeness of a particular individual, to acquire a sense of security next to him. A small child is usually very attached to his parents, especially his mother. Dependence arises in relation to the subject to which the person is attached, therefore he is afraid of losing him. Ideally, as the child gets older, the feeling of love between the child and the parent should increase, and the attachment should decrease.

In psychology, the formation of a model of interpersonal relations is associated with child-parent emotional attachment. It is believed that its characteristics affect the type of attachment to a partner, on relationships with others. A strong emotional bond with the mother provides the child with a biological defense function. Separation from her inflicts mental trauma on the baby.

The type of attachment formed in childhood plays an essential role in the life of every person. Children's experience of relationships with adults is reflected in the perception of oneself, others and relationships with them. Secure attachment promotes happiness in your personal life.A person is confident in his partner. He is not looking for reasons for jealousy, is not afraid of losing his soul mate, does not fear rapprochement. Subject always behaves calmly with everyone. This pattern of behavior leads to a quick recovery from failures. Unsafe types of attachment often cause various personality disorders, mental disorders. Children with attachment distortions have difficulties in interpersonal relationships and school adaptation. They find it difficult to establish emotional bonds in their family.

A disoriented type of emotional connection is often formed as a result of serious psychological trauma inflicted on a person. In this case, there is inconsistency in behavior. A child sometimes reaches out to an adult, sometimes he is afraid of him, sometimes he rebelles. Conflicting behavioral responses tend to occur in families where corporal punishment is used by children. In adults, the disoriented variety is expressed in the instability and unpredictability of relationships. A person can strive for someone for a long time, but having achieved what he wants, immediately give up and break all ties. Instability is also present in relationships with family and colleagues.

Disorganized attachment occurs in families where a child is abused by an abusive father and a weak mother cannot protect him. Often the reason for this attachment can be an aggressive or depressed mother who does not react in any way to her baby. The child accompanies the departure of the mother with a frozen posture, and her return - by running away from her. These babies are characterized by chaotic, unpredictable reactions and emotions. In psychology, they are called children with "scorched souls."

Ambivalent (anxiously stable) type of attachment is expressed in the duality of behavior. On the one hand, the child desperately seeks contact with an adult, on the other hand, resists him. He can fondle the parent, and the next moment angrily push him away. The mother's departure increases the child's anxiety and self-doubt. Her return is accompanied not by the joy of the baby, but by resentment. He can bite or hit his mother.

The formation of a resistant species is associated with inconsistency and unpredictability of parental actions. A mother may at some time show excessive attentiveness to her child, sometimes ignores him. In a bad mood, he can break down on the baby, offend him, scold. It is difficult for a child to understand what to expect from a mother. The baby develops anxiety because of the uncertainty about whether it is possible to rely on the mother in case of need for help. Thus, psychologists distinguish several main types of stable psychological connection with people.

This type indicates a developed sense of their own security, reliability, faith in their own strength. It is formed in a child when he is confident in the constancy and availability of parents. The kid is worried and upset when the mother leaves, but is quickly distracted by toys and other things. When his mother returns home, he happily rushes to her and easily switches to his interesting activities.

Such children are open, active and independent. They feel a reliable rear and protection, and therefore can afford to relax and calmly explore the world around them. High-quality feedback and rich positive reactions contribute to the formation of reliability and consistency.

Negative self-perception often endows the subject with anxiety. Such people are suspicious, fearful. They often become addicted to a stronger personality. They are waiting for their recognition by others, confirmation of serious intentions from a partner. For this reason, the mood of anxious people often changes. Self-doubt and emotional instability breed dependency in relationships and jealousy.

Anxiety-resistant style develops as a result of the child's negative reaction to separation from his mother. In these moments, the baby treats strangers with great alertness. The return of his mother gives him mixed feelings. On the one hand, the baby is insanely happy with the arrival of the mother, on the other, there is anger because of the forced parting with her.

If the parents are restrained, stingy with the manifestation of love, then the children do not show any reaction to their arrival. Finding himself in the arms of the mother, the baby tries to distance himself from her. Demonstrating that the child does not need anyone is a peculiar way to protect himself from the mother who does not express any emotions. The kid, with his rejecting manner, is trying to convey to his parents that he does not need anyone. He avoids contact with his mother and seeks to show independence. Internal self-doubt is expressed in an emphasized independence and arrogance in adulthood.

Showy callousness, emotional inaccessibility, attitudes towards distrust of all people are protection from the environment that hurts the soul. The fear of experiencing intense rejection pain is rooted in early childhood. A person cannot reveal his soul even to the closest people. It is difficult for him to trust other subjects and establish trusting relationships. When a new love appears, at first events unfold remarkably, but when switching to closer contact, the person suddenly disappears. The partner gradually resigns himself to inaccessibility, when suddenly he feels attempts to restore relations, which are built on the principle of “come and go”.

Too much anxiety is often the reason for avoiding contact. Getting closer in a relationship often leads to fear. The person closes down emotionally or runs away altogether. He simultaneously strives for intimacy and is very afraid of rejection. An example of this type of manifestation is the escape of the bride from under the aisle just before the wedding. She is unconsciously afraid of her new status. There is a fear of the future family life. Typically, this pattern of behavior is typical of victims of mental and physical abuse.

Sometimes the simultaneous manifestation of anxiety and avoidance occurs in people suffering from a mental disorder of personality, in particular, in paranoids. Sometimes subjects with a borderline state of the psyche believe that their own rejection of a partner will help them to avoid mental pain. If the companion leaves him, then the painful sensations will increase a hundredfold.

The combination of an unsatisfying baby's needs and an ambivalent parental style of behavior contributes to the formation of a child's focus on winning the love of any adult. There are children who react painfully to the mother's interactions with other people. They strive to endlessly draw her attention to their own person: they do not let go of themselves a step, constantly look into her eyes, check her involvement.

Fear of making mistakes, confidence in the insecurity of the surrounding world and maternal guidelines for the correct upbringing lead to symbiosis. Increased anxiety in the mother forms a symbiotic state. It seems to her that only she can provide the baby with safety. Maternal anxiety is transmitted to the child. As a result, children grow up to be anxious personalities.

There are various methods for determining attachment style in children and adults. Typically, psychologists use testing, the unfinished sentence technique, and various projective techniques. Children are offered tests "Fairy Tale" and "Sad Mom".A child's attachment scale to family members is widely used. All methods are aimed at identifying the level of feelings of separation from loved ones, getting stuck in childhood experiences, assessing the significance of childhood experiences for later life, determining coldness and emotional restraint, indicating a devaluation of feelings of attachment.

The adult test contains questions about relationships with a person in the context of an intimate relationship.

• Does the respondent discuss personal problems with their significant other?
• Does the companion understand their needs?
• Is it easy to go with a partner for rapprochement?
• Does the test subject often worry about being abandoned?
• Is it comfortable to be in a relationship?

After answering a number of such questions, the psychologist determines what worries the respondent the most. A high level of anxiety manifests itself with a fear of rejection and anxiety about whether his partner really loves him.

The formation of the type of attachment depends on various factors. For a child who lacks the warmth of the mother's soul and accessibility, a safe closeness is sometimes provided by caring nannies or caring grandmothers. In this case, the anxious-avoidant type can change to a secure attachment. In adults, the type of attachment usually does not change. A person can change their approach to relationships.

Overcoming the inner experiences of children after breaking up with their parents helps to overcome the negative consequences together. Provide your baby with physical care and a sense of security. It is necessary to initiate a positive interaction with the little man, to console him, to be interested in his affairs and emotions, to give him warmth.