What to do if the husband offends?
![What to do if the husband offends?](https://fashion.decorexpro.com/images/article/croppedtop/450-255/2018/11/chto-delat-esli-muzh-obizhaet-1.jpg)
Unfortunately, in some families there is violence of a man against a woman. This happens primarily because one side allows themselves to be mocked, and the other side, having a rude character, takes advantage of it. A man who insults and humiliates a woman disgusts normal people.
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Main reasons
It happens that events develop as follows: before the wedding, he gave flowers, and after the wedding, he began to be rude and often insult. Further more. The woman went on maternity leave and became financially dependent on her husband. If a representative of the stronger sex has the psychology and character of a tyrant, then he will begin to show his importance in every possible way: to scandal, speak in an arrogant and commanding tone with his pregnant wife. If the woman objects, then threats and insults will follow.
It's good if a woman has somewhere to go and get help there. However, there are also hopeless situations. But you can always find a way out. It is necessary to understand the reasons for the husband's inappropriate behavior and the options that caused this behavior. And there may be several of them.
The very first reason is a tyrant husband. It is quite possible that such a psychotype even before the wedding did not behave like a chivalrous with his future wife. For example, he could easily push out of the car in a fit of anger or publicly insult. Only a strong feeling of love often overshadows the girl's eyes. And many do not want to notice the flaws in the character of their chosen one. The result is a miserable life after marriage.
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In another case, the man is a real Don Juan. After the wedding, such a person quickly gets bored with marital duties. The wife's pregnancy does not bother at all, and even interferes. He wants new sensations, and he is looking for them all the time.An affair on the side will cause discord in the family. Insults will follow. A woman can either put up with such a situation, or part with her unfaithful husband.
It also happens that the spouses have been married for a long time. My husband's feelings cooled down a little, and he felt like "the master of life." For example, children grow up in a family, the wife is busy with household chores and does not have the opportunity to earn a lot. The husband is the main earner in the family. If such a man has egocentric character traits, then sooner or later they will appear. The husband will begin to treat his wife with contempt, humiliate and insult in every possible way. Children will also get it.
A woman is afraid of losing her husband, because she loves him very much, or she simply has nowhere to go. In this case, elementary jealousy turns on. On this basis, the wife begins to suspect her faithful of treason. He checks his pockets, his phone, asks unnecessary questions. Over time, this behavior leads to conflict. Scandals are the result.
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Another reason for violence can be the feeling of inferiority that a man has developed over the years. Such a flaw will contribute to self-affirmation due to bullying of the spouse. A difficult case that will gain momentum if the woman does not actively resist.
Another reason is the relationship on the side. The man is torn into two parts, and he considers his lawful spouse to be guilty of this. Divorce will be followed by division of property. Many do not want this and are afraid. They relieve nervous overloads by humiliating and insulting their wife.
Our life is multifaceted, so there are no standard and unambiguous situations. There are only templates that are filled in different cases by different circumstances. Family scandals shouldn't be the norm.
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What to do?
The first law of psychology says that a psychologist should not give specific advice, much less require you to follow it. A good specialist should only direct a person to the correct solution to the problem through reasoning and conclusions that the same person should make himself.
If the husband offends, it also happens that he is often drunk, then this phenomenon must be fought against. Otherwise, you will get mentally tired and can become seriously ill physically. It is impossible to constantly endure tyranny and resentment. Therefore, you need to make a choice: leave your husband or kick him out of the house (if there is such a legal opportunity) or stay married with him and begin to fix the situation together. Which of these methods is right for you, decide for yourself.
In the first two cases, it is more or less clear what to do next. But if you cannot part with your husband, then start the struggle for your happiness and family. This will mean that your situation is not as critical as it seems at first glance. The following tips might help you.
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Your husband insults you, finds fault with you over trifles and trifles, constantly brings you to tears. The situation is not very pleasant, but correctable. First of all, try to ignore his provocations. Do not cry and do not be offended. Treat this indifferently.
If he continues his actions, then turn to him, look in the eyes and ask what caused this behavior. Just do it without hysterics. Explain in a calm tone how it hurts you to hear unfounded accusations against you, give examples and arguments. Say that your patience will soon "burst", and then you will have to part forever. Remind him of the children who are suffering too. It is possible that your husband does not always think about what he says, and such actions will bring him to his senses.
Do not be discouraged if the first time you didn’t work out the way you wanted. Conduct these conversations for a long time until the situation is eradicated.
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Insults
If your spouse insults you, don't repeat after him. Try crying or pretend to be very offended.Sit in a corner and sit silently. His ardor will soon dry up and he will calm down.
Try to leave your family. Take the children and stay temporarily with their parents. If your husband comes for you, then don't open the door right away. Tell him that you don’t want to see him again if he doesn’t change his attitude towards you.
Will come another time, connect your relatives to the conversation. Let them say that they will no longer allow you to be bullied. The husband should feel that you are not alone: you have protection and where to go.
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Criticizes appearance and figure
The next problem is when the husband criticizes the figure and appearance of his wife, comparing with other women. She says that she is not a very good housewife, moreover, that she does not have a very pleasant appearance in comparison with the appearance of her neighbor. This attitude creates tension in the family. It is aggravated when the spouse makes comments about a particular action of the spouse.
This may mean that your spouse has a little cooled feelings for you. They need to be refreshed. To do this, it is enough to cause slight jealousy. Show your partner that you can be liked by other men. Change your appearance fundamentally. Dye your hair, get a trendy hairstyle, manicure, buy some modern outfits. "Present" yourself a bouquet (just so that your husband does not know this) and bring it home. Answer all questions evasively and coyly. You yourself will see that your husband's attitude towards you will change dramatically.
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It happens in life that a husband calls his wife bad words, often does it in front of children. You feel how he treats you disrespectfully even when strangers are around. It really spoils the mood. In this case, you need to fight and be sure to demand a proper attitude towards yourself.
To begin with, put yourself in order (do your makeup, hair every day), pull yourself up mentally and physically. Do not allow yourself to behave like very scandalous women. Speak correctly and culturally in front of children and in public all the time. It is advisable that your husband is always there.
When your spouse is in a good mood, tell him that you are a beautiful couple and you want it to be like this forever. Ask your husband not to behave indecently with you anymore. For an exemplary family, this is unacceptable. If your husband is not a bad person and has simply not thought about such questions before, then he will definitely respond to your call, and everything will work out for you.
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Blames everything
It also happens that your husband blames you for everything and all the time. What are you not to blame for: not in the right way, raising children, because of your wrong behavior, various troubles happen to you, and so on. Everyone should understand that it is not good to shift all responsibility onto the shoulders of loved ones, especially on a woman.
In such cases, you do not need to get lost and sincerely believe that you are doing something wrong all the time. First, believe in yourself, instill confidence in yourself. Do not make excuses if your husband starts reproaching you again. Calmly and without hysterics ask him: "How would you act in this situation?" He will definitely answer this question for you. And you say that now you will consult him all the time before doing anything. And next time, consult with him, even on trifles. Do this even when he is busy with something. Let him get tired of it. As a result, the husband himself will make many mistakes. He will begin to realize that he was wrong.
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What if a man hits his wife?
A difficult situation, and any normal person will advise you to run as far away from it as possible. However, the specialist must first understand why this is happening. Cases are different. There are many people on Earth, and their characters differ. Definitely, a self-respecting man, with a healthy psyche and a morally stable disposition, will never raise his hand against a woman, even if this is brought to "white heat".In the worst case, he will smash all the furniture and even the house, but he will not touch the fairer sex with a finger.
By the way, in some cases a woman herself provokes an unrestrained and not quite educated representative of the stronger sex to assault. She is the first to insult and humiliate a man. He can even raise his hand and hit on the cheek. It is possible that in this case she will receive change.
Such women can be recommended every time to do their best to restrain themselves, if you really want to make a scandal and express your point of view. To do this, breathe in and out before taking any action. Then look around. Perhaps close people and even children are near you. Look at yourself from the outside through their eyes.
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Become feminine and weak. If you are very offended, then cry and go to another room. A man by nature is called upon to protect the other half. He will definitely want to feel sorry for you. And when he does this, calmly explain to him what he is wrong about, and express your resentment. Quarrels and assaults in your family will stop.
A more difficult case when you come across a husband with an inadequate and aggressive character. Here you need to think carefully before making any decision. Any excuses against him will be inappropriate if he beats you systematically.
It also happens that a woman is very dependent on her tormentor-husband. And she has no one to turn to for help. There are no relatives, or they do not want to help. The beatings should not be tolerated, but the crisis center should be contacted. There they will definitely help you with housing, support you morally and financially, until you gain independence.
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If you want to fix the situation and get your husband to stop being abusive towards you, then try to get out of the tipping point yourself.
To do this, stop forgiving your husband. Act according to the letter of the law, the essence of which boils down to the fact that any violence and torture against a person is unacceptable. Failure to comply with the law will be punished. It can occur if you seek help from the appropriate authorities.
You don't need to forgive, but you need to give a firm rebuff. Show with all your character that such attacks will not pass without a trace with you. Psychologists have noted the fact that some tyrant husbands left their wives for other women.
In the new family, they became docile and radically changed their behavior in relation to the new spouse. It turned out that the second wife initially made it clear that she would not allow her chosen one to scoff at herself. From this it follows that an inadequate husband can be restrained if it is made clear in time that you are "not a whipping doll."
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How to behave if your ex-husband humiliates you?
Family breakdown and divorce does not mean that the former spouses will never meet again. Many couples stay together on the same living space, since they have nowhere to go and there is no way to leave.
This is where the problems begin. The ex-spouse may come home drunk and start bullying. In this case, he forgets that you have become practically strangers. Thus, the "ex" is trying to gain power over you again.
You can ask for help in special services designed to keep order. At the same time, try to divide your living space and fit locks into your half of the apartment. Such a measure will psychologically separate your ex-husband from you.
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Do not respond to insults and humiliation. Pretend that this person simply does not exist for you. Meet another man. Perhaps his appearance in your life will turn the situation around. The ex-husband will understand that everything has changed radically and will cease to show interest in you, and at the same time the insults will disappear.
It is not uncommon for former spouses to divorce unknowingly. Both still have feelings that they had for each other over the years. Perhaps your spouse is trying to come to terms with you.Only he does it clumsily, exactly as a schoolboy would do it, pulling his classmate by the pigtail.
In this case, do not judge him harshly. Think about what you need to improve the relationship. If you have children growing up, then re-creating the marriage will be the natural end of your family drama. Make a decision and talk to your husband about this topic. In this situation, he will gladly accept your offer, and as a result you will become happy again.
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Psychologist's advice
A crisis in a relationship is not the final judgment. It can still be corrected if there is a strong desire. However, remember that your husband must also want to fix the situation. Otherwise, the following tips are simply pointless to follow. To prevent the divorce from taking place, then start acting on the points.
- You are not divorced, and romance still happens between you. Try at this moment to remind your husband of your meetings, of your love. How did you meet, how was the wedding, and so on. Perhaps this will stir up new feelings in your spouse, and he will stop behaving inappropriately.
- Take your husband to the movies for a walk. On the way, remember how happy you were. Tell your spouse what is happening in your soul now, how hard it is to endure such humiliation and insults from your loved one. Give an example of the phrases your spouse uses when trying to humiliate you. Perhaps, being in such a good mood, he will look at himself from the outside and he will become ashamed of his behavior.
- It is better not to turn to the help of friends, but if there is no other way out, then ask them to talk to your husband. Have someone outside tell your spouse that he is doing wrong with you.
- Remind your spouse that your family has children and that his aggressive behavior is simply unacceptable in this situation.
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A woman should always remain a woman. She is simply obliged to demand from men an appropriate attitude towards themselves. If this does not happen, then look for the problem in yourself. As soon as you find it and fix it, female happiness will immediately appear.
It's all useless. Suggestions are not enough for a long time, everything comes back.
Everything is correct. Enough for a very short period of time. And the boor turns into a boor again.