Self-doubt: Causes and Signs, Ways to Overcome

Every person has to deal with difficult life situations from time to time. Some boldly take the initiative into their own hands and easily overcome all difficulties. Others begin to doubt their own strengths, try to avoid responsibility, and are afraid to make a final decision. In the latter case, we are talking about self-doubt.

For most people, the word “insecurity” is associated with the concept of “inferiority complex”, because an insecure person doubts their abilities, skills and abilities. Most of the notorious people experience difficulties in communicating with the opposite sex, are ashamed of their appearance, and cannot defend their own opinion at work.

Feelings of insecurity arise from low self-esteem. A person does not believe in his own strength and is afraid to move forward towards the achievement of some goal. The fear of being rejected, misunderstood, not accepted gives rise to indecision. As a result, there is a desire to merge with the crowd, not stick out.

In psychology, uncertainty is correlated with inner fear, fear of taking responsibility and making decisions. There is such a definition: self-doubt is the fear of expressing real feelings, showing individuality in various spheres of life, realizing one's potential in full force. Therefore, this concept means the fear of being yourself.

The roots of insecurity can be traced back to early childhood. At this time, a system of self-perception is being formed.It is based on the response of others. Praise, punishment, or rejection have a big influence on the development of self-esteem. Sometimes mothers overprotect their children and control their every step. It happens that the child gets little parental warmth and love.

Often, parents scold their child for mistakes and inept actions. Thus, they put in the child's head the idea that he should be able to and know everything, think quickly and never make mistakes.

The baby has discomfort at moments when something does not work out for him. He begins to fear that others will reject him in the same way as his parents, for poor knowledge of a foreign language, inability to dance or sing. Gradually forming inferiority complex. Lack of parental praise and support, basic respect devalues ​​the thoughts and feelings of the little man. This attitude of parents towards children can lead to psychosomatic disorders. Psychosomatics manifests itself in mental anguish and various bodily diseases.

The reasons for the manifestation of complexes and a decrease in self-esteem can be character traits. Weak people usually follow their own fears. If any obstacle arises on the way to the implementation of the planned business, they abandon the intended goals. Unwillingness to look for a worthy way out of a difficult situation indicates a lack of faith in the possibility of realizing plans or dreams.

Uncertainty often appears in adulthood. The problem arises as a result of negative experiences. When a person is faced with criticism, condemnation or outright rejection, he withdraws into himself, trying to avoid re-experiencing mental pain.

Sometimes insecure people hide their feelings behind a maskthat does not match their vulnerable soul. An aggressive state often indicates a belief in one's inability to influence the situation, indicates an existing inferiority complex and internal helplessness. They cannot find adequate ways to defend their interests, so they choose the tactics of escape or attack.

An indecisive person does not want to draw the attention of others to his own person. He prefers to live inconspicuously, as if aloof from society. Active rest in the fresh air is replaced by reading books and watching various TV programs. An insecure person minimizes communication and rarely makes new friends, since it is difficult for him to get to know someone and build friendships.

Such individuals afraid of any changes in life, as they fear that the life situation from this may worsen. Insecure people are embarrassed to loudly ask others about something, ask them for help. They agree to any relationship with the opposite sex, even if they don't like their partners or partners at all. We are ready to receive the lowest salary, just not to cross the internal barrier by asking the management to raise it. The cost of their services is always significantly underestimated.

The manifestation of numerous fears leads to their development into phobias. People who are not confident in their own abilities are characterized by the following symptoms: fear, anxiety, depression, indecision, shyness, timidity, helplessness, powerlessness, despondency, annoyance, irritation, nervousness, fatigue, depression, communication problems, unwillingness to be in the spotlight , dissatisfaction with oneself, rejection of one's appearance, a dull or anxious look.

Most often insecure people are boring and uninteresting interlocutors, because they are afraid to say an extra word, make a mistake or accidentally hurt an opponent. Incoherent, expressionless speech arises from the inability to cope with your own excitement:

• the voice may sound very quiet;
• the subject seems to apologize to everyone;
• sometimes stuttering occurs;
• for some, a defensive reaction is triggered - in this case, the notorious individual begins to talk a lot, gossip, use obscene language.

Most indecisive personalities there is a desire to underestimate their own merits. Others, on the contrary, begin to behave. arrogantly... In this way they strive to overcome the inferiority complex. Attempts to assert themselves at the expense of others are their defensive reaction.

An insecure personality is often given away by constrained movements, slightly drooping shoulders, stooped or hunched over. From the outside it may seem that a person is carrying a heavy load. A timid gait, a timid look, periodic rubbing of various parts of the body immediately betrays an indecisive personality. Sometimes the subject begins to fuss for no reason, shift from foot to foot, make sharp and quick movements. He can touch something in his hands, tap his fingers.

Uncertainty prevents an individual from living fully. It has destroyed many people’s adequate self-image. After all, each person should be aware of their own attractiveness and uniqueness. You need to master the ability not to deny your shortcomings, but to turn them into advantages. An indecisive individual often cannot find his place in the world. Internal lack of freedom deprives him of the opportunity to achieve great success in life.

Many for this reason refuse any undertakings. They are afraid to try something new, to look for their destiny. The fear of making even a small mistake causes insecure people to feel the strongest mental discomfort and a feeling of their own insignificance. An indecisive person puts in a minimum of effort to achieve a goal. The more doubts prevail, the less likely you are to build a successful career at work and create a happy family life.

An insecure person lives in constant fear that other people will condemn him. These fears force him to stay away from others, prevent him from fully building interpersonal relationships. Such people have to behave unnaturally, pretend, hide their own "I" under an armored shell. This can lead to dire consequences. An inner double life can provoke an attack of aggression.

It is very difficult to completely remove the feeling of insecurity. It does not pass as fast as we would like. You need to be patient. First you need to deal with your own beliefs and attitudes.... Then, to improve self-esteem, it takes remember your specific achievements. Think about what your virtues deserve love and respect.

Love yourself with all your flaws and flaws. Do not scold yourself for your failures and weaknesses. Praise yourself for even small accomplishments and small victories. Appreciate your capabilities, and always set clear goals for yourself. Indicate a certain vision of what you want to achieve in the end. The goal set disciplines and motivates for specific accomplishments.

Do not concentrate on disturbing thoughts, throw them out of your head. Give yourself the right to make mistakes, avoid excessive self-criticism and self-flagellation. Successful people see failure as a positive experience.Don't hide your emotions, desires, and demands. Know how to refuse people.

Communicate more with others. During the conversation, try to focus on the other person. You need to speak loudly and clearly, while trying to look your opponent in the eye.

Feel free to express your feelings. When communicating your wishes or requirements, try using the pronoun "I". Give positive emotions to those around you. Establish close contacts with loved ones: invite them to the theater, museum or any entertainment event, arrange surprises for them. Practice relationship building.

Don't be afraid to offend the other person. You need to be able to put an overly aggressive comrade in place, but at the same time behave within the bounds of decency, keep your distance. It is an integral part of a self-confident person. Don't let anyone humiliate you. Do not compare your own person with those around you, free yourself from stereotypes.

Replay the situations leading to success in your mind, imagine everything to the smallest detail, even smell and touch. Be sure to use the emotional sphere. Create in your thoughts a successful scenario of your actions, program a favorable outcome of the event. Never replay unfortunate situations in your head. The past must be easily let go.

Changing activities helps to distract from unpleasant thoughts and look at the event from the other side, therefore, when negative emotions arise relax and do something else. Learn to plan upcoming actions. Set specific goals for yourself. Implement them. Having a hobby boosts self-confidence. Choose a specialty to your liking.

Lead a healthy lifestyle... Constantly engage in self-education, acquire new knowledge, expand your horizons, strive for excellence. Conscientious work and moderate physical activity increase self-confidence. Do not succumb to apathy and laziness, do not pin your hopes on the case of fate or influential friends and family. Daily train willpower.

Psychologists recommend that people who have a habit of dwelling on their experiences write them down in a special notebook in the opposite sense. To do this, you must first acknowledge and experience your negative feelings, then change them and write down positive statements. This exercise helps to change the attitude towards yourself and eradicate some fears.

Experts advise enrolling in a sports section or dance club. There is also an exercise for 3 weeks.

1. During the first week, you should write down positive statements that make you happy every day. On the seventh day, you need to read the entire list.
2. The next week is given to record the circumstances under which you had doubts about your own abilities. Analyze them, find the reasons that contribute to your indecision, identify the main fears and ways to get rid of them.
3. Use the last week to overcome your insecurities. Write down all of your positive feelings and emotions, as well as steps towards eradicating negative statements.

There is a method called the "Symbol of Victory", which adds self-confidence. You need to choose any geometric shape or pattern and make it your symbol of victory. Let the talisman always be by your side. Even a quick glance at it will be associated with victory for you. Ultimately, a successful outcome of the planned actions will be achieved.The talisman of confidence can be made with a particular scent of perfume or cologne, a particular suit or dress.

Can do some extraordinary deeds. For example, put on extravagant clothes and go for a walk in them. Try talking to a stranger on the street. Go beyond the usual activities.

You can resort to powerful reception of visualization. To do this, you need to mentally imagine the desired result of the upcoming events in the smallest detail. You should try to create vivid images in your head, to imagine a favorable outcome of any business. At the same time, you need to realize your own value and feel like a significant and self-sufficient person.

Experts recommend revising your social circle. Interaction with other people is reflected in the inner state of a person. Weed out those who are wasting your time with idle talk. Respond appropriately to criticism and praise from others. Filter bad statements addressed to you.

You need to understand that it is impossible to please everyone. Erase any unconstructive criticism from your memory. Don't dwell on it in your mind. Any statement is the subjective opinion of the individual, therefore it does not always reflect a deep knowledge of the subject and impartiality.

Psychologists remind people dissatisfied with their appearance that the body and face are given to man by nature, therefore they are of special value. Only self-confident individuals are capable of realizing this fact. They will not create artificial beauty, endangering their lives, plastic surgery and exhausting diets.

A self-sufficient person does not engage in self-criticism and self-flagellation. He pays great attention to his inner world, looks for positive aspects in himself and develops them. It is not individual facial features that give people attractiveness, but a special sparkle in the eyes and light emanating from within. Fall in love with your own looks.

The following exercises will help you overcome negative feelings about your appearance.

1. Compliment yourself and say it out loud all the time. For example: "How wonderful I look today!"
2. Create new affirmations each day, write them down, and repeat them throughout the day. They can sound something like this: "I am delighted with my appearance", "My loved ones adore me", "I am a beautiful, kind and pleasant woman."