Priorities in life

If two people are placed in the same conditions of existence, given equal opportunities, their lives will certainly turn out differently. It's all about priorities - everyone will have their own in any case. How life priorities affect our destiny, how to determine and arrange them optimally, this article will tell.

Itself the concept of "priority" is widely used - in law, business, management. But the most ambitious idea about him was formed by psychologists. This definition means a part of life, its component, which is of paramount importance for a certain person. Our life spheres are the same - work, communication with loved ones, family, creativity, etc. But the attitude towards them is not the same.... This means that two workaholics who are similar to each other value their work to varying degrees, and two caring mothers-housewives put their attitude towards family and children in different places.

A person makes his choice, sets priorities. Some experts believe that he does it subconsciously, focusing on personal predispositions, family upbringing, examples of others. But prioritization Is a more complicated process than it might seem at first glance. And in this, life priorities differ from those in time management or the legal field.

We need priorities as guidelines. It is in accordance with them that we build our life. They are invaluable resources, sources of energy and personal strength. Realizing this, a person can consciously direct more energy into a certain area of ​​life that is important for him.

The main priorities in life have long been known.

• A family - parents, children, spouses, personal relationships with loved ones and loved ones.
• Profession and work - self-realization as a specialist, employee, career, achievements, income.
• Education - both educational institutions and personal self-development of a person should be included here, because the process of comprehending new knowledge accompanies us all our life.
• Hobbies - our hobbies, hobbies, interests, often different from professional activities.
• Health status - an important area, without which others are often meaningless. Attitude towards one's health largely characterizes a person as a whole.
• Communication and social interaction - our friends, employees, associates and allies.
• Image - the image that we create, appearance, style, impression.

Not all of these areas can be classified as unconditional values, but hardly anyone would argue that each of them matters and in one way or another affects the rest. If we are sick, we are unlikely to be successful at work and social interaction. If we look bad, do not take care of ourselves, believing that "image is nothing", we are unlikely to be happy in our personal life. If the spheres of hobbies and families "sag", then the person becomes a workaholic, and all other priorities for him fade away. Harmonious and reasonable distribution of priorities will allow you to live with pleasure and satisfaction, to be happy.

How a person sets their priorities is influenced by many factors.

• Age - young people have different needs than mature or elderly people, and therefore their priorities are usually distributed with a predominance in favor of education, career, social contacts and communication. Older people value health and family issues more. With age, values ​​change several times, something is achieved, something loses its relevance, something comes out on top. This is a normal and natural process.
• Life circumstances - important events that change the value system of an individual. A baby was born - and now the priority of young parents has changed, family and care for offspring came to the fore, although until recently they were striving for a career and education. But the way out of the decree for mom is a period of regular changes, work issues again return to the rank of significant, albeit not the main ones.
• Problems arising, trials - sometimes a sphere is almost insignificant for us until problems arise in it. Divorce or loss of a loved one forces us to reconsider the value of the family, the development of the disease brings the sphere of health “into the leaders”. This change of priorities is more severe, almost compulsory.
• Personal features - this includes the character and temperament of a person, his life experience, the example of parents, upbringing. Under the same circumstances, people make different decisions, and this is the influence of the unconscious.

Priorities, therefore, are not a monolithic, static system that is unshakable throughout life. It will not work to build them once and for all. They will dynamically change, move in importance with age and in the course of events. Changes will be short-term and superficial, and sometimes profound and long-term. Then, you ask, why arrange anything at all? Let everything flow by gravity. But here lies a common mistake.

It's pretty simple. Take a piece of paper and write in descending order the areas of life that matter most to you.... Take a look at the list. What will be at the top of it will be the main one for you.What will be at the end, perhaps, requires correction, closer attention. Everyone makes the choice himself, but the question arises - is it effective? Is the person satisfied with their prioritization, or is it internally uncomfortable?

Let's say work comes first, and family comes in the middle or end of the list. Such people are often characterized by a feeling of guilt before their relatives, it gnaws at them, but it is difficult to change something. Or, let's say, in the beginning there was a sphere of communication. It is obvious for specialists that such a person is dependent on public opinion, has complexes and fears, needs support and help. Try to change priorities in places, imagine how your life could change in connection with this. For example, put your job second, and put your family first. Will you feel good and comfortable if from now on you will devote a couple of hours a day to work, and to your children or parents a couple of hours more?

Rate your list in terms of the following statements.

• Man exists in order to constantly develop, evolve, not stand still - do you succeed with your value system?
• The main thing is people, relatives and friends. Does your system serve them, is it useful to them?

Any internal discomfort, dissatisfaction with your life is a signal to revise your current system, to change something in it... If the priorities are arranged harmoniously, a person gets the very fullness of life that everyone loves to talk about.

There is no universal recipe for how to arrange values, in what order. Everything is individual. But the general rule applies - the arrangement is not at all similar to the one that you use when determining the priority of certain tasks or tasks at work. Psychologists often recommend considering an individual value system and comparing it with the following scheme in terms of degree of importance.

• God, spiritual, principles and beliefs.
• Your own self, health.
• Relations with family and friends, children.
• Work and professional implementation.
• All other areas in a convenient order for you - hobbies, friends, image, etc.

There are several ways to set your own priorities.

The method was described by Gleb Arkhangelsky. Offered take a notebook or notebook and keep a description of each day. Five minutes in the evening will be enough to enter all the necessary information about what you spent the most of your time, effort, energy, and funds on today. Identify the main event of the day. It doesn't have to be the successful completion of a difficult project at work. This can be a pleasant joint contemplation of a snowfall on the way with a child to school or kindergarten, a letter from an old friend. The main event is considered the event, when remembering which you relax, smile, exhale with relief... Sometimes the events of the day are negative, while your emotions are opposite, but always bright.

In front of the recorded main event, indicate the area of ​​life to which it is directly related. At the end of the week, choose from seven events the main event of the week, at the end of the month - the event of the month, at the end of the year - the event of the year.

This method is derived from the previous one. Once you have identified the main area, identify the least priority areas in the same way. Work through them, think about what you are missing for them to "rise" higher in your personal rating. Obviously, the area at the end of the list needs an ambulance. Consciously devote at least half an hour of your daily life to it. Gradually, the feeling of inner harmony will return, because the imbalance will be eliminated.

The examples below are very conditional, since they do not take into account the individual characteristics of a person. But to begin with, you can focus on them, and the understanding of what you need will come gradually.

It so happened that for men, issues of professional implementation are always more important than others. This is due to the peculiarities of gender psychology. A man is happy if he feels like a winner, conqueror, hunter. For the vast majority of men, the list of priorities begins with work. This does not mean that all representatives of the stronger sex ignore other areas of life. An average example can be like this.

1. Work and profession, money, income.
2. Family and children, loved ones, parents.
3. Hobbies and communication.
4. Image.
5. Health.

Men prone to selfishness hobbies are often ranked second after work, and those who cherishes relationshipsmay even doubt what should come first - work or family. One thing is almost always the same - most men tend to underestimate the importance of their own health. This area comes to a more significant position only when serious diseases occur. There is something to work on.

Most women have different principles. Historically, evolution made them the guardians of the hearth, and therefore it is not surprising that ladies often put family and children first. Only when there is no harmony in life, this sphere is shifted lower by a woman. An example - a woman has to "pull" a family, to raise children alone. Even in this case, everything is done for the sake of the family, and she is the main thing. But sometimes there is a replacement according to the "male type" when work is a priority. But this is usually rare.

A woman's priorities on average usually look like this.

1. Family, loved ones, children, relationships.
2. Image.
3. Health.
4. Work, implementation in the profession, society.
5. All the rest.

Significant deviations most often make women unhappy. If a workaholic man gets real pleasure from his professional achievements, which in general does not contradict his nature, then a workaholic woman internally suffers from a lack of family, relationships, and the deeper she hides such thoughts, the more destructive the consequences can be for her.

When a child enters the adolescent category, the issue of prioritization is of the utmost importance. Young people of today often suffer from a lack of clear goals not because they do not know how to set them, but because they cannot decide which is more important. In general, developmental psychology dictates such an average model.

• Relationships in society, communication.
• Image.
• Training and selection of professional guidelines.
• Hobby.
• Family and parents.
• Other values.

Some parents feel they can impose their value system on their child. The influence of upbringing is, of course, high, but not absolute. In addition, parenting priorities can be uncomfortable and unpleasant for the child. Therefore, the best tactic is observation and a positive attitude. Throwing and doubts cannot be avoided, every person passes through them. It is important that he lives his own life with his own priorities, and not an externally imposed model that will not make him happy.

If you are now in a state of revaluation of values, then it is worth listening to the following recommendations of clinical psychologists.

• Listen to your inner voice, intuition, it often clearly indicates to us in which areas cardinal changes are needed.
• Build your priorities without regard to public opinion. This is just your life.
• Ask yourself more often if you like what you are doing at the moment. If not, it's worth reevaluating the scope's value on the personal list.
• Work, read, watch films, plays. Often the answer to the question of what is most important in life is found in this way. You will feel it by the emotional response.