All about resentment

This article will provide you with useful information about resentment and what it is. You will understand what it means to be indignant and for what reason this feeling is manifested. Learn what you need to do to cope with it.

In psychology, showing a feeling of resentment means being extremely indignant, experiencing strong dissatisfaction with something, someone or yourself.... In this feeling, there is no anger, anger, hostility, contempt, no degrading behavior directed at another person or group of people.

Thinking actively works when indignant. The person asks the following questions:

• How could this happen?
• Why didn't I guess that something like this could happen?
• Why did they do it?

Indignation is the wrath of a decent, noble person. The feeling is strong enough and is inherent in people with a heightened understanding of justice, as well as those who want to prove their truth at all costs. Physiologically, it may have the following symptoms:

• increased heart rate;
• adrenaline rush;
• redness of the face;
• muscle tension;
• feeling of a lump in the throat, etc.

The definition of the meaning of the word "resentment" can be described as the state of a person who has not been pleased. The individual experiences contempt or disappointment about what he considers to be wrong, offensive, or unfair. At the same time, this is a protest, a rejection of what is happening, a desire to change and arrange everything so that it turns out what a person wants.

This mental disharmony is an assessment of the event that happened:

• I don’t do that;
• adequate people don't do that;
• it is not normal.

Resentment happens different in saturation depending on the strength of manifestation. It can be recognized when a person expresses his dissatisfaction through spoken words. This state of mind can sometimes be expressed through strong emotional boil. As a simplified form of anger, it is always visible. in facial expressions, movements and intonation... It is quite easy to notice it in oneself, it is more difficult not to succumb to its expression.

Resentment happens in response to disappointing events. It can occur in response to the following actions:

• the individual behaves carelessly towards another person;
• his statements or actions violate the moral convictions of the person;
• a person discriminates against the rights of another, insults with unethical words or behavior;
• an individual is treating someone unfairly or mistreating someone.

All this leaves behind the strong negative consequences.

Resentment may arise about inability to reach the goal and happens to be turned towards oneself, arising on the basis of impotence due to the inability to help or achieve the desired result. For example, a doctor cannot cure a hopeless patient, although he really wants to.

Here are some more examples of situations that can cause this uncomfortable feeling:

• we agreed not to do this;
• the same betrayal, how dishonorable;
• he is late all the time;
• she deceived me.

As a result, the person feels hurt by the actions or point of view of others who allow themselves to behave like this. For himself, a person considers such actions unacceptable. Examples:

• I myself could never break the agreement;
• I would never even think of betraying anyone;
• I am a punctual person, I always come at the appointed time;
• under any circumstances will not deceive anyone.

Because people tend to be wrong, they may not be aware that they are making mistakes. If the situation is perceived at the subconscious level, a person can see the mistakes of others, while not noticing similar errors in himself. This is how it manifests itself psychological protection. In this case, the indignant individual is not aware of destructive thoughts and behavior in himself, because, having recognized them in himself, he would have to equate himself with bad people, while he does not consider himself to be such.

If you are caught up in this negative feeling then you should know what needs to be done to cope with it in time. This is possible if you understand and are aware of what is happening to you at the moment. Give yourself an account of how you feel and for what reason - this will help you understand the true reasons for your resentment.

Since resentment is an indicator that we do not like something, when it manifests itself, we can understand the following:

• we want something;
• something does not suit us;
• we should do something.

In this case, resentment is a very useful thing. Our task is it regulate... Let's see how this can be achieved.

The next time that feeling comes to you, do not rush to express it to other people. Become aware of what really hit you by taking into account the following pattern:

• first, an event occurs;
• further in the head his mental interpretation arises;
• followed by a behavioral reaction.

Often human behavior occurs stereotypically and automatically based on past beliefs, so they can not always track their reactions. For example, once a person received positive reinforcement when using resentment and now applies it every time for other similar events. Only situations are different, as are people. Therefore, choose the tactics of behavior depending on what is happening at the moment.

Since some people are prone to pushing their way, resentment against them may be responded to with a more serious negative emotion. Others will create an intolerable atmosphere for the individual who expresses it.

Therefore, before voicing what you have boiled over, it will be appropriate to suggest what the consequences of your indignation may be. If the feedback is supposed to be negative, change your strategy and try to steer the situation in a peaceful direction.

Try to be respectful to the person, regardless of the words they say. He is confident that there are good reasons for what he is voicing. Find them out. Then explain what caused your dissatisfaction. The person has the right to know information about what makes you feel.

Tactics of behavior when showing indignation:

• tactfully and politely tell the person about your feelings;
• explain the reason for it in correct words, do not touch the quick and do not insult with words;
• Make it clear to the individual that your emotional response is information to him, not an invitation to cross swords.

Tell people about your resentment, but do not "throw" it at them - it is useful, helps them understand you better. Since there is no reproach or collision in this, they will listen to you with pleasure. This is a very correct transfer of information to the person who listens to you, and therefore he is ready to meet you halfway.

In modern society, decent people adhere to ethical behavior and observe the rules of morality... As a result, they may not express their emotions openly.

Therefore, in order not to accumulate uncomfortable sensations and at one point not start to boil, you should practice before they appear.

Procedure:

• some time after the unpleasant event happened, draw conclusions about it;
• Think about what in a similar situation the next time you would like to think, feel and do differently;
• come up with alternative thoughts and actions to try next time.

Remember that expressed emotions over time only reinforce these behaviors and reinforce the re-expression of the feeling. Therefore, instead of expressing negative emotion on other people, it is better to walk, squat, take any other action compatible with the situation.

In the next video, you will learn what resentment is from an esoteric point of view.