What you need to know about meeting your parents?
![What you need to know about meeting your parents?](https://fashion.decorexpro.com/images/article/croppedtop/450-255/2018/11/chto-nuzhno-znat-o-znakomstve-s-roditelyami-1.jpg)
Sooner or later in life there comes a moment when there is a meeting with the parents of the second half. Every girl or boy should be aware of what to know about meeting parents and how to behave correctly.
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What does it mean to meet your parents?
The moment when the soul mate offers to meet mom and dad is considered a turning point in the life of any couple. The girl believes that this step shows the seriousness of intentions towards her chosen one, and for the guy it is an awareness of responsibility for the whole family of his girlfriend.
Getting to know your parents rarely happens early in a relationship. A woman should make sure that she has chosen a man with whom she wants to stay until the end of her days, marry him and have children. When such feelings appear, you can agree to a visit to a potential mother-in-law and father-in-law. A man should also be convinced of his feelings and be sure that his half is the one with which he wants to build a life and create a family.
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How to Prepare?
Each person wants to please the family of his chosen one, since further relationships may depend on this factor. The girl, just like the guy, is nervous before the day of meeting and tries to prepare more thoroughly in order to guarantee to make a good impression. To do this, you can study the basic rules of behavior that will help you behave correctly and show your knowledge of etiquette.
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Boyfriend
Before meeting a guy, he should carefully study the "portrait" of his girlfriend's parents and prepare well for the upcoming event. For every girl, mom and dad are role models.For this reason, it is forbidden to say bad words to future relatives, even if they are negatively opposed to the choice of their daughter.
Before the meeting, you can ask your beloved what preferences her parents have: what they are fond of, and what, on the contrary, cannot tolerate. You need to get the maximum amount of information in order to decide how to behave correctly. Then you should start preparing for the difficult questions that cannot be avoided. If a guy comes to his beloved's house, it means that he has serious plans for her. Each parent is afraid of such a moment in the life of his child, so he begins to bombard a potential son-in-law with various questions.
For this reason, it is recommended to work out your answers in advance regarding questions about career, outlook on life, wealth, seriousness of intentions. It is important that the answers do not look learned by rote, but sound natural and deliberate. You should not lie and overestimate your abilities. During the conversation, you need to tell the truth and be confident. The confidence that comes from a man at the first meeting softens the parents. Thanks to this, they will understand that they trust their child in safe hands.
If the beloved had other guys who were perceived negatively by the parents, you should find out why this happened. Based on the data obtained, you can correct your behavior.
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There are several key rules of etiquette that you should be familiar with before meeting.
- Appearance. The phrase: "they meet by their clothes" is appropriate in this case. For this reason, you should not dress up in ripped jeans and an elongated T-shirt, so as not to spoil the impression. However, you shouldn't wear an expensive suit and bow tie either. When choosing clothes, care should be taken to look neat and decent. For this, everyday things are also suitable. The condition of nails and hair also needs to be taken care of.
- Self confidence. From the first minutes of being in the house, confidence should come from a man. When meeting, the father needs to shake hands and behave with restraint. However, the girl's mother can behave differently. Some women may rush to hug their future son-in-law, while others will only greet dryly. Regardless of the behavior of the parents, you should bring a small present with you. The best option is a cake or a box of chocolates, as well as a bouquet of flowers.
- Punctuality. You must not be late for a meeting. You should also not arrive earlier than the appointed time.
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- Communication. The key to a good acquaintance is the ability to communicate. Parents will definitely like a good conversationalist with whom it is pleasant to have a conversation on any topic.
- Gallant attitude. During lunch, you should take care of your soul mate and behave attentively towards her. Overplaying is not recommended, as everything should have a sense of proportion. Excessive affection and closeness to a girl can anger parents. You should not forget about the mother of your half, as she quickly succumbs to the temptation of her future son-in-law. Having obtained her location, you can be sure that no one will resist the marriage.
- Win the favor of a possible mother-in-law and father-in-law you can use your charm and confidence. You should not be closed in yourself, it is better to behave openly. It is also not recommended to stay on a visit. After lunch or dinner, you should start packing up, thanking for a good time.
- After leaving, you should not look back and immediately start calling your beloved. It is best to wait a while and wait for a call from her side. This demeanor is not capable of causing discontent in either parent.
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To the girl
In order for the acquaintance with the parents of a loved one to be successful, you need to prepare well for this event. We recommend using the following guidelines.
- Do not be afraid. Every girl is worried, but you should not drive yourself to panic.Nervousness can play a bad joke, and when meeting with her parents, the girl will not look cute, but hysterical or agitated.
- Clarification of information about parents from a guy. You should find out in advance as much data as possible from your loved one: rules in the family, outlook on life, hobbies, parental education. Such knowledge will help to draw up a psychological portrait of a possible mother-in-law and father-in-law and prepare. It is recommended to immediately clarify about forbidden topics.
- Positive attitude. There is no need to look at the situation negatively and wait for a catch. Getting to know your parents takes your relationship to the next level. When preparing for a meeting, it is better to set yourself up for positive changes in the future.
- You should immediately forget about the well-known stereotype “mother-in-law-monster”. The future life with a loved one will depend on how the relationship begins at the first meeting. If it is not possible to establish relations with the mother-in-law, the man will rush "between two fires" and suffer. One should learn to be wise, even if the mother-in-law does not have such a quality. A man will always appreciate this trait in his beloved.
- Mom is the main target. In most families, the upbringing falls on the shoulders of women, so it is important to get the recognition of the future mother-in-law. However, this does not mean that the guy's father can be ignored. It is worth paying attention to all family members. You need to act sincerely and discard all pretense.
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What to gift?
Every guy or girl, when the question arises about meeting the parents of his significant other, thinks about a gift. Usually, on the first visit, they bring a bouquet of flowers and something for tea. Most people believe that coming to visit without a gift is a sign of bad form. This belief is partly true, but you need to know a sense of proportion and be serious about choosing a presentation.
Gifts can trigger different reactions. If there is no information about the taste preferences of the parents, you should proceed with caution. You also need to know the attitude of future relatives to presentations. If they don’t like to receive them, it’s best to be understanding and come over with a cake or a nice box of chocolates.
To evoke only positive emotions, you should check with your significant other about what is best to prepare for the meeting.
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In some cases, even the best thoughts can turn against a person. There is a category of parents who associate gifts with bribery and believe that they are given only to lull the vigilance. The father of a loved one may not pay attention to such a factor, but mothers are sensitive to such actions. Therefore, before handing over any thing, you should think carefully. If you don't want to come empty-handed, you can opt for confectionery.
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What to talk about?
The topic of conversation is another problem that guys and girls think about before meeting their spouse's parents. A large number of questions arise on the topic of how to behave correctly, what and how to speak. First of all, you need to stop worrying, and in order to eliminate unnecessary discomfort, it is better to come with your soul mate. You should collect your thoughts and manage your emotions. Have a conversation with a smile. Putting on a mask of decency is not the best option, as insincerity will immediately catch your eye. Naturalness is the most optimal behavior.
Conversation topics can be thought out ahead of time based on mom and dad preferences, which you can ask your couple about. You do not need to strive to please everyone and use the jargon that is used when talking with friends.
As a rule, most of the first meetings are of the "interrogation" type. Parents try to find out as much as possible about the choice of their child and the whole conversation is based on questions about the guest. You also need to be prepared for this.
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What if you don't like it?
A situation may occur when the parents do not like their child's boyfriend or girlfriend. To find out feedback, you can call your soul mate and clarify how everything went. If there is any dissatisfaction, it is better to find out the reason right away. Perhaps because of nerves, some mistake was made that was not immediately noticed, or topics that were unacceptable in this family were raised. If there was a fatal error, the next time you need to be sure to apologize for it. Mom will appreciate such an act.
Sincerity is always appreciated, so the phrase that you were very nervous before meeting and accidentally behaved incorrectly will be appropriate. Having found out your shortcomings, the next time you can fix them.
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Useful Tips
Since getting to know your parents is not an easy ritual, it is recommended that you read the recommendations of a psychologist. They will help to prepare for the visit and "not fall face down in the mud."
- Some parents conduct a kind of checks on a potential relative and try to provoke. In this case, one cannot support provocations and succumb to them. It is best to show wisdom and find a way out of the situation.
- If the situation starts to get out of control, you can try to turn everything into a humorous form or change the topic of the conversation. If all else fails, distraction by narrating a funny incident will help.
- Rude parents are rare. If you have to face this, do not be angry. However, letting yourself be humiliated is also not necessary. The best option is restraint and lack of rudeness.
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- It is important to try, whenever possible, to leave only positive emotions about yourself. If you were asked to see an album with photos, do not refuse. This will give you a chance to get closer to the family of your soul mate faster.
- You cannot speak negatively about your partner in front of your parents. Any insults are not allowed. No matter how he behaves and no matter what kind of person he is, you cannot tell your parents about it at the first meeting. Even if the mother and father themselves began to talk about the fact that their son or daughter has shortcomings, it is not recommended to support such speeches.
For more information on meeting the girl's parents, see the next video.