Parting

How to deal with breaking up with a girlfriend?

How to deal with breaking up with a girlfriend?
Content
  1. How easy is it to get over a breakup?
  2. How to live on?
  3. What shouldn't you do?
  4. Psychologist's advice

Each of us has to deal with parting with our beloved: sometimes people break up easily, and sometimes the breaks are painful. There is no universal recipe for coping with negative emotions: it all depends on specific situations. In this article, you will learn about ways to let go of your loved one and return to a fulfilling life.

How easy is it to get over a breakup?

If after a fleeting romance, the breakup is easier experienced, after a long relationship, separation is usually difficult for both the man and the woman. A new novel is traditionally considered the best solution. If you manage to be distracted by a new love, this will allow you to think less about past relationships and better survive parting: bright positive emotions and mutual interest will delight you and will not allow you to be sad. However, it is not often possible to meet a new person immediately after breaking up a past relationship, because a person tends to compare everyone with past love.

Sometimes it takes a while before you're ready for a new romance.

Moreover, it is often very necessary to ponder past relationships, draw the right conclusions, but not plunge into reflection with your head. If the breakup was painful for you, give yourself a few days to worry: in order to endure the separation, you need to throw out your emotions and understand why the relationship did not work out. Do not blame your partner for everything: both are to blame for any conflicts, and since you cannot change the other person, think about what you yourself could change in your behavior. This will help you avoid old mistakes later on when you enter a new relationship.

That being said, don't let memories consume your entire life.A few days after breaking up, when you clear up the whole situation in your head, it is very important to stop feeling nostalgic and start changing your life. You need a rich pastime, new experiences, interesting things and communication. It is good if there are relatives and friends nearby who will not let you get bored and will actively spend their leisure time with you. One of the good alternative options is to completely immerse yourself in work: this way you will not only quickly forget about the past, but you will also be able to achieve new success in your career, which, of course, will give the necessary positive emotions.

Self-development is another right path after a breakup. After breaking up with his girlfriend, a guy can start playing sports or master a new business, and a girl can change her image and start everything that she has been planning for a long time. Often in relationships, people are too "fixated" on each other and lose themselves: this inhibits everyone's personal growth and becomes an additional painful factor in parting. However, it is very important to love yourself, take care of yourself and grow - this is the only way you will attract the right people into your life.

Strive to learn new things about people and relationships. Chat more with all sorts of people, watch movies and read good fiction. You will learn more about the experiences of different people and will be able to understand yourself faster. Alien stories will inspire you to make positive changes, allow you to take a broader view of the world and not be locked in your own melancholy.

Both men who have separated from a woman and women who have experienced a break with a man are equally worried. Nevertheless, in our society, it is not customary for men to express their emotions, which can be fatal for the psyche. It is very important that there is a close person next to whom you can talk.

If not, find other ways to relieve stress: sports, team games and amusement parks can help you with this.

How to live on?

Even when you've managed to calm down after a painful breakup, the question arises of what to do next. Often, a person's life after separation changes significantly - this is especially true for those who were in a serious relationship. If you lived together, you shared an apartment, shared budget and household responsibilities, got used to each other's habits, put up with certain inconveniences and enjoyed positive moments. Even if you were just dating, you spent a lot of time in the relationship. It is very important that after parting a void does not form in this place.

Find the pluses in a free life: you have time for yourself. If you don't find a good way to spend this time, you run the risk of constantly feeling nostalgic for the past and becoming depressed. Remember what you have always dreamed of doing and what you may have been hindered by a lack of time and energy. You can find a new hobby, meet friends more often, develop professionally. Creativity is one of the great things to do that allows you to express yourself, release negative energy, and have positive emotions. Sports can also help: after exercise, you will become even more beautiful, and during active movements, the body produces the hormone of joy - endorphin.

Try not to think stereotypically and be open to new acquaintances. After parting with a loved one, you can go to two extremes: either idealize your ex-lover and criticize everyone around you, or expect meanness or betrayal from others if you broke up with your partner for a similar reason. Be open and look for the good in new people. Where can you meet new people after breaking up?

  • Find activities outside of work: creative clubs, a gym, additional education. There you can find people with similar interests and, possibly, meet the right person.
  • Do not be afraid to meet people you like on the street or in a cafe: usually it is easier for men, but women can also afford to take the first step.
  • Do not reject dating sites: in the modern world, meetings on the Internet are increasingly turning out to be fateful.
  • Take a closer look at the circle of your acquaintances, perhaps if you begin to communicate better with old friends, someone will open up to you from a new side.

If you are still not letting go of past relationships, try not to remind of anything about them.

Put aside or even throw away your memorabilia, do not look at the pages of your former loved one on social networks, if necessary, rearrange the room and temporarily suspend contacts with mutual acquaintances. It will help you reboot your life and start fresh. Live life to the fullest, be active and enjoy your own loneliness.

Being on your own can be tricky, but it needs to be learned. Often, a similar problem occurs in people who have been in a relationship for a long time and lived together. It may be very unusual for you to spend evenings in an empty apartment, having fun, doing household chores, or traveling without your partner. Nevertheless, it is very important to find inner harmony and feel like a self-sufficient unit. Enjoy your own freedom: a good book before bed, a walk in the park alone, home improvement. Only when you enjoy freedom can you create new, harmonious relationships.

What shouldn't you do?

Very often people make mistakes after parting with loved ones. Sometimes they just don't know how to get over the breakup, and other times they take the path of least resistance. The following things you shouldn't do if you want to get through the breakup comfortably.

  • You do not need to immerse yourself in your own thoughts and lock yourself in for a long time. Give yourself a few days to feel sad and express emotions, and then try to live as actively as possible: do new things, communicate with people, gain impressions. In no case should you be nostalgic for too long, you need to let go of the situation and live for the present.
  • Don't think about bringing your loved one back unless there is a good reason to do so. Often people want to resume old relationships, because they were calm and comfortable in them, however, this is a disastrous path. If you dispersed, it means that some serious problems have arisen, and they will repeat again: you will only ruin your life. There are times when a couple breaks up due to stupidity and accident, but in this case, the desire to return the relationship is usually mutual.
  • Don't be angry with your ex. Even if you think your loved one is to blame for the breakup and hurt you, try to forgive him. Resentment will interfere with your life and make you constantly think about the past, close yourself off from new people, then the separation will be more difficult.
  • Don't be angry with yourself. Perhaps you made a lot of mistakes in your past relationship and you yourself are to blame for the fact that they stopped. Forgive yourself and just learn from the situation.

Try to analyze your behavior by turning off emotions for a while: this way you will learn something and will not repeat past mistakes in new relationships.

Don't complain too much to others. The best friends need to speak out, but it is not worth sharing the details of your personal life among distant acquaintances. Firstly, you can create a reason for gossip, and secondly, you can simply tire your interlocutors. Be positive and open-minded: Don't think or talk too much about your past relationship.

Psychologist's advice

After a breakup, many people have an understanding that they need to significantly change their lives, but it is not always clear what concrete steps can be taken towards positive changes. If you find it difficult to break up, use the advice of a psychologist.

  • It's best to stop communicating with your ex right after the breakup, even if you decide to remain friends. It is necessary for the feelings to cool down, and when you stop worrying about the breakup, you can resume communication again.
  • If a couple breaks up on the initiative of one of the partners, it is useful to have a constructive conversation, explain to each other how you feel and why one of you wants to break up, while the other is happy with everything. You need to be honest with each other: then such a conversation will give food for thought, make it easier to part and not repeat past mistakes in new novels.
  • In order not to get bored, make a busy schedule for yourself. Work, hobbies, sports, creativity and reading can help you distract yourself and return to your normal life, but when stressed, it is difficult to lead an active lifestyle - it is easier to spend time reflecting on the past. Don't allow yourself to do this: have a clear timetable and stick to it.
  • Draw conclusions about past relationships and write them down on a piece of paper. Write what you did wrong, what the partner did not suit you. You will be able to visualize problems and not repeat them in the future.
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