Parting

What is the right way to break up with a girl?

What is the right way to break up with a girl?
Content
  1. Is it really necessary to part?
  2. How to do it?
  3. How not to act?

Ending a relationship with a girl is not easy for many. I really want to part so as not to hurt the feelings of the partner and somehow smooth out the pain and feelings of the situation. And so you go over and over again in your head the options for communicating your decision to her. However, you cannot dare to act in any way. This article will focus on how to properly break up with a girl.

Is it really necessary to part?

To begin with, think carefully about your decision, weigh the pros and cons. Perhaps you are driven by a short-term strong impulse that arose after a quarrel or other unpleasant situation. Listen to your feelings and review the possible consequences of your decision in your head. After all, restoring a broken union, in case you still want her to return, may not be easy.

The purpose of this paragraph of the article is not at all to dissuade you from parting. It is possible to simply break off relations in a fairly short time, but it may take a very long time to regret the results of a hastily taken step. It is especially difficult to rebuild your life after the end of a long relationship. And if you live together, you will have to change your life and habits.

Give yourself a specific reason (or several reasons) why you want to break up with your girlfriend. Analyze the problems that are pushing you to end the relationship. Are they serious enough to leave the girl you love deeply?

Perhaps, only the fading of feelings can serve as an unconditional reason for parting. In this case, you have to pretend in front of the passion, in fact, deceive her. Listen to yourself and try to understand if you are really cold to the one with whom you have been dating all this time. Will you feel a real loss when it disappears from your life? So, if you still firmly made the decision to end the relationship, all that remains is to choose the way in which you will communicate about it.

How to do it?

In general, there is, of course, no and cannot be a completely universal recipe for how to part correctly, suitable for all occasions. You, of course, understand that it is important to remember the girl's feelings. If your decision is not reciprocal, then reporting a breakup is likely to cause her resentment and other negative emotions. Therefore, try to leave competently, carefully, without hurting her.

Depending on what character your girlfriend is and how your communication developed, choose the most appropriate way to communicate your decision.

Write a letter or message

One option is to express your thoughts on paper or in an email. It is not necessary that the words are chosen very nicely. The main thing is that the text is sincere. But it is important to understand that this should not be a short "unsubscribe". Therefore, it is still undesirable to part by SMS, sending just one short phrase. Handwritten lettering will make the best impression. After all, these are not dry block letters. This method will nevertheless emphasize that you, after all, worked on your message.

If circumstances do not allow sending the letter or this method is clearly inappropriate in your case, use a personal message on social networks or e-mail. The same rules apply here. The printed message should contain your detailed thoughts.

Call

Another option is to have a telephone conversation. You should prepare for it in advance, choose the words and outline the general plan of the conversation. Most likely you will be worried, and without preparation you will not be able to express your thoughts intelligibly.

Speak in a confident, calm tone. Even if a woman, by virtue of the emotions that flooded from what she heard, begins to escalate the situation, still continue the conversation with utmost courtesy.

Do not end the conversation first, much less hang up the phone. Give the girl an opportunity to speak up, even if it is unpleasant for you. Don't interrupt if possible. After all, you already made it easier for yourself by using the phone to talk, and not by meeting in person.

In a telephone conversation, be sure to share the reasons that prompted you to make this decision. Do not limit yourself to the words "we are parting, I decided so."

Talk in person

For many guys, having a personal conversation with a girl about such an unpleasant topic as breaking up is the most difficult way to break up. Often, young people postpone this difficult conversation, not daring to speak in the eyes of their passion about the decision they have made. At the same time, this is perhaps the most worthy, responsible and courageous option for a break.

As with a telephone conversation, prepare in advance for a face-to-face meeting. It is better to choose a place for conversation that has nothing to do with your couple. This can be a cafe that you have never visited before, a quiet park, or another uncrowded and quiet place where you will not be disturbed.

Tune in not only to speak, but also to listen. It may very well be that parting without offense will not work. Therefore, be prepared to gently and delicately listen to the emotions and claims of your former lover. Chances are good that it will not go without tears. Don't let the conversation take too long. After greeting, calmly say that you need to have a serious conversation and you will now say a very important thing. Next, state your decision and tactfully argue for it. Do not try to offend the girl with your reproaches at this moment. Do not reproach the reasons for parting with her. Your ex-girlfriend is already very hard at this moment.

Then let the girl speak, answer her questions. Be patient and respect her feelings, because for her this turn of events was most likely very unexpected. By reporting the breakup, you ruined her plans and dreams for your couple. Do not be surprised that this is not perceived with a smile. After the conversation, if the girl does not mind, you can take her home.

But do not tease her with the manifestations of attention inherent in a couple's relationship, now you are no longer a guy and a girl. Say goodbye to her as a friend.

Disappear

Quite an ambiguous method of interrupting a relationship. In fact, it is equal to flight. But there are situations when you have to apply just such actions. For example, if the girl is overly intrusive and continues to make efforts to keep the couple. Some guys choose this option if they are afraid of an overly violent reaction of the former passion to the breakup.

If you decide to disappear, then know that in our time it is not so easy. You will have to ignore calls or completely change your number. On social networks, your girlfriend will have to be blocked so that she cannot contact you through private messages. A certain problem in this case is mutual acquaintances and friends. Your passion can also resort to their help in order to find the "fugitive" and ask him a few questions.

However, most girls, with such behavior of a young man, quickly recognize the situation. So the likelihood that you will have to strenuously hide from the ex-lover you left behind is rather small.

But it is worth thinking about what kind of opinion you will form about yourself by such an act in your abandoned passion, as well as in her friends and relatives.

"Reduce the degree" of relations gradually

A breakup can be relatively painless if the girl herself loses her feelings for you. Some guys and men who decide to break up with their beloved simply stop showing any feelings. When courtship stops, signs of attention disappear, the guy's behavior becomes harsh, etc., many girls themselves decide to break up.

However, this method is rather difficult to implement if you still love your girlfriend. Another downside is that some people can be quite patient. Then all your tricks will be in vain, and the passion will never stop clinging to your relationship.

This way of influencing the girl is essentially a ploy by which you shift the responsibility for your breakup to your ex. Think, is it worthy? Does your girlfriend deserve this demeanor about herself?

How not to act?

A man should be able to take responsibility for his actions and decisions. Several ways to end a relationship with a girl have been described here. Which one suits your situation is up to you. In any case, remember to respect the other person. Moreover, the girl once trusted you, reciprocated your feelings. Don't discount it. There are more cruel ways of parting, but we will not describe them in this article.

In any case, each of you will be better off if you disperse, maintaining a decent impression of each other. If, after the breakup of your couple, you want to remain friends with your ex, take note of a few tips.

  • Don't blame her for breaking up. Don't blame or criticize your partner when talking about your breakup. Better yourself to sincerely apologize for your mistakes and any unpleasant moments that happened in your relationship through your fault.
  • Do not respond with aggression or a flood of emotions to her possible incontinence. A negative reaction to your words is completely justified and natural. Withstand it with dignity, be calm, gentle, patient. Let the girl speak up and cry if necessary.
  • If you live together, don't kick your ex right away. Consider your travel options in advance.If you lived in a rented apartment, pay for it 1-2 months in advance and move out yourself. You have already inflicted mental trauma on the girl and, possibly, knocked her out of action for a long time (in psycho-emotional terms). Therefore, do not complicate her life with the forced emergency search for housing.
  • Do not part with a loved one through third parties. For example, asking a friend or girlfriend to convey your words about the breakup. This is very disrespectful and unworthy. Thus, you initiate a third person into your personal affairs, who finds out about the breakup before the girl herself, and this is at least very offensive. Moreover, you cowardly run away from the battlefield without deigning your ex-lover a personal conversation and an explanation of the situation.
  • If you nevertheless decide to leave by sending SMS, make it up tactfully and competently. There is no need to use your affectionate nicknames at the beginning of the phrase, for example, "my bunny" or "kitten". Refer to the girl simply by name. Then write briefly about your decision to break up and give a reason. Avoid monosyllabic dry phrases like: "Goodbye forever, never call", "I'm leaving you, I don't need you", etc. content to you.
  • Do not claim your gifts back. Only accept them if your ex wants them back. Also, do not throw around her donated things. Even if this page in life is forever closed for you, you should not root out those pleasant moments that once united and warmed you.
  • After breaking up, don't deliberately avoid hanging out with your ex. When you meet, act naturally like a friend. Do not constantly remind about what happened and do not stir up the wound with obsessive questions: "How are you?", "Have you recovered already?", "Why do you look so bad?" If you still have friendships, that's very good. But in any case, the girl herself will tell you what she thinks is necessary.
  • If the reason for the separation was another woman, do not go into unnecessary details of the new relationship. It is enough just in a conversation to indicate the fact that you have feelings for another person.
  • After breaking up, do not hurt your ex-lover even more by deliberately showing her your new passion. Unfortunately, some men do not miss the opportunity to humiliate their abandoned girlfriend even more, demonstratively showing a successful and whirlwind romance.

Respect the feelings of someone you once loved, even if you are angry with your ex for something. In this situation, you are already in an advantageous position.

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