How to break up with a married man?
Meeting married people in secret is against moral standards. Parting is inevitable. The sooner it happens, the better for all participants in the vicious connection. Many of the fairer sex are interested in how to tune in to break up with a family man, how to behave after parting, what to do and what to do if a man does not want to let the girl go.
How to tune in to break up?
According to statistics, only 5% of married men file for divorce in order to further legitimize their relationship with their mistress. Most often, the girl plays the role of a free psychologist who helps to strengthen the marriage. The endless feeling of guilt before the lawful wife makes the unfaithful husband to be an exemplary family man. At home, he avoids any quarrels and conflicts.
A man is looking for a relationship on the side not with the aim of starting a new family. He wants to have fun, to diversify the bored life. It makes no sense to dream about the serious intentions of an unfree person. These are illusions. The beloved man spends weekends and holidays with his wife and children. And the mistress is sad all alone.
A relationship with a married man does not bring happiness to any member of the love triangle. If the mistress is a married lady, then four people suffer. Sooner or later, there comes an epiphany that the relationship is leading to an impasse. Instead of the expected bliss and happiness, they bring pain.
The boyfriend is trying to convince another passion that there has been no intimate relationship with his wife for a long time. They live under one roof for the sake of children. This untruth is said in order to convince the mistress of his unearthly love for her.Then the girl will give her all in a relationship, give warmth, care and affection.
It is far from always possible to arrange a personal life with a stranger. The young lady lives in anticipation of the divorce of her beloved, does not pay attention to other applicants for her hand and heart. Sooner or later, the girl is overwhelmed by a feeling of loneliness and hopelessness. She begins to understand the meaninglessness of waiting for the divorce of the ringed person. The boyfriend expects only amorous pleasures from her.
There are no serious relationships in his plans.
And then the young lady decides to part with the married man. The most difficult moment in this situation will be to dare to break the vicious connection first. It's not easy to tune in to parting when you love a person with all your soul. Every girl wants this process to be painless.
First of all, you must try to put yourself in the shoes of his wife. Intruding into someone else's family brings a lot of pain and suffering to all its members. Most often, the wife guesses about the betrayal of her husband, she is very tormented. She lives with an unhealed wound, another scar on her heart. Sometimes a spouse endures her husband's betrayal for the sake of children and material well-being.
It is necessary to remember all the negative emotions associated with this person. You can write down all negative episodes on a piece of paper. It is worth focusing on all the shortcomings of a loved one.
Periodic dates are one thing, living together is quite another.
Do you want to put up with all his bad habits that you have to watch around the clock?
Psychologists recommend telling about the desire to break off relations with loved ones. They will provide support to the deceived woman. By informing others, you can strengthen yourself in the desire to leave. In addition, it will be difficult to take a step back, change your mind, return life to its former course. There will be more confidence for the real implementation of the divorce plan.
How to break up with a man?
The difficulty in breaking up an illicit relationship most often lies in emotional attachment to a lover. The thought of parting with her beloved man scares the girl. She is afraid of her experiences, longing for him. She is not entirely sure if she will have enough persistence and mental strength. The girl is convinced that she loves this person very much. Chances are, a lover's relationship is based on passion, not love. The passion will gradually subside.
The years go by. The chances of building a strong family are diminishing. Until the point is put in the previous relationship, the door to the new one is closed. It is necessary to realize the inevitability of breaking the connection and carefully think over all actions.
Take a sober look at the situation
A married man is unlikely to leave his wife. If he wanted to divorce her for the sake of his mistress, he would have left the family long ago. All his excuses are groundless. Promises will always come, but they will never come true.
An important factor is that at the wedding ceremony, the newly-minted husband publicly announced his desire to be in grief and joy with his wife, swore love and loyalty to her in front of strangers. The man did not keep his promises. He betrayed his wife. You can't call him a knight on a white horse.
Start behaving differently
The boyfriend is used to the fact that the parallel companion behaves in relation to him correctly. Often, due to self-doubt, a lady arranges a heavenly life for an unfree boyfriend, shows excessive concern for him. Gives him affection, warmth and love.
Psychologists recommend dramatically changing your behavior: stop living in his interests, take care of him, stop correspondence and chimes.
Demonstration of complete indifference also works flawlessly. The demand for expensive gifts, dinner in fancy restaurants, joint travel, whims, quarrels over trifles will contribute to the estrangement of the lover.
Men want easy communication. They want to unwind. They are not ready for nervous overload.In order to break off relations, you can arrange tantrums and scandals, call him every day, rolling scenes of jealousy towards his wife. Soon, the man becomes irritated, he will try to avoid meeting with his mistress.
It is advisable to come on a date without makeup, beautiful hairstyles and simple clothes. Such an image will alienate the accustomed gentleman to the neat and attractive appearance of the passion.
Say openly about parting
It is best to inform an unfree man about a break in communication openly. It is advisable to do this in a delicate manner. Any feelings must be controlled. The girl should inform about her unwillingness to be constantly in the background. She doesn't want to hurt another woman. An unselfish man will understand the whole tragedy of the situation, feel how unhappy the girl is.
Persuasions about the resumption of the love affair should be stopped immediately. Many promises will be made at such moments, but it is unlikely that a man will fulfill at least one of them after the relationship is restored.
Rehearsal in front of the mirror will help to bring the conceived business to the end. It is advisable to write all your thoughts on a piece of paper, then read aloud, throw out all the emotions that should be held back at the decisive moment. A rehearsed monologue several times will allow you to deliver a speech with confidence and clarity.
With great excitement before the upcoming conversation, you can write a detailed letter with the news of the end of the love relationship. For many, it is much easier to put all their arguments and suitable examples in writing. In this case, you can use e-mail or use instant messengers.
Most likely, in his reply message it will be that he was just about to put an end to his relationship with his wife. Or a request will be made to wait a little while he gathers the courage to talk at home about leaving the family. The girl must insist on the complete severing of all ties.
It is advisable to ignore his further messages.
How to behave after a breakup?
The following advice from psychologists will help you to forget your lover faster and survive the pain, specializing in love relationships.
- It is best to think over all further actions in advance after a painful parting with an unfree person.
- Many interesting things should be planned so that there is not enough time for suffering.
- It is advisable to sign up for any courses, learn how to drive a car, repair your apartment, go on vacation to the sea.
- Favorite work will distract from sad reflections. Knitting, embroidery, reading books, fitness, yoga, dancing and other activities will allow you to breathe freely and live a busy life.
- Sport will increase self-confidence and endow the hormone of joy.
- You can go on a trip or stay with your parents, relatives, girlfriends.
- Increase the circle of acquaintances, spend a lot of time with them, visit exhibitions, museums, cinema, excursions.
- Tell about your pain to someone close to you, speak out, pour out your soul.
- Keep a personal diary, record experiences in it in order to get rid of negative emotions.
- You can write down all the feelings on a piece of paper, which then needs to be burned, scattering the ashes in the wind.
- Alcohol should not be poured into grief. He will only open up all mental wounds, and can also induce unthinkable actions.
- Watching comedies and your favorite cartoons can help push unwanted memories into the background.
- It's a good idea to find a women's forum on the Internet and chat there with girls who find themselves in a similar situation.
- It is advisable to stop all communication with your ex. If he is a colleague, then firing from his job is a good option. If this is a neighbor, then a change of residence is necessary.
- Romantic photos need to be removed from a cell phone, tablet and desktop computer, laptop.
- Remove gifts from conspicuous place. In the apartment, not a single object should remind of this person.
- The change of image will cheer you up: a different hairstyle, an updated wardrobe.
- It is important to learn to control your thoughts. Negative thinking should be instantly translated into a positive direction. There is no need to feel sorry for yourself, to shift the blame onto your lover.
- Don't start building new relationships right away. It is better to be alone for a while, sort out your thoughts, love yourself with all the advantages and disadvantages, and tune in to a positive mood.
- Avoid future intimate relationships with married people.
What if he won't let go?
An endless showdown, a manifestation of rudeness and prudence will help to get rid of the persecution of a married man. Often, this behavior of a parallel companion alienates the annoying suitor. But it is not always possible to push the partner to break the connection.
A person does not want to let go of his mistress, waits for her at the entrance, comes to work, calls endlessly. There is no denouement. Decisive action must be taken, otherwise the situation will repeat itself. The young lady will again have to be content with an unenviable supporting role.
In this case, you need to change all phone numbers, block your lover on all social networks. Changing the number and removing the ex's contacts from everywhere will also help the girl herself: she will stop waiting for his messages and calls.
A change of place of residence will also contribute to the quick break of a vicious connection.
See below for advice from a psychologist about breaking up with a married man.