Should I return my husband after parting and how to do it?

Divorce often gives an impetus to start a new life. But the decision to break the union is not always mutual for the spouses. It happens that the husband becomes the initiator of the separation, and the wife still has feelings for her man. In such a situation, a woman, of course, wants to return her ex-spouse as soon as possible. The article will focus on how to get back together with a man after breaking up.

The dissolution of a marriage is by no means happy. Often women fall into depression and cannot pull themselves together for a long time. It is especially difficult to experience a divorce if feelings remain for your husband. The woman desperately wants to rebuild the relationship. Sometimes it seems to her that she is ready for almost anything, just to force her husband to return to the family.

In such a situation, it is important to let yourself cool down a little. Impulsive impulses sometimes lead to consequences that have to be regretted. Let your emotions subside at least a little so that you can think about the whole situation as soberly and rationally.

So, you broke up with the man and now you really want him to come back to you. Such a desire is quite logical but it is worth checking, for your own good, how sincere it is. Perhaps you are mostly driven by resentment and hurt pride.

Often women are ashamed that they could not keep their spouse. In such situations, they strive to return everything to square one only in order to prove to those around them their worth. However, with the return of a man with this approach, old problems will also return.

When a husband leaves for another woman, the abandoned wife can set herself the goal of breaking their couple by any means. Including actively trying to lure the ex-spouse back. Of course, this adventure will most likely not lead to anything good.

Agree, couples do not break up completely from scratch. So you still had certain problems. Whether they were in your husband or in you, it doesn't really matter. The key in such a situation is whether you both have the desire and willingness to work on shortcomings and mistakes. Without such work, your reunion may be useless and hopeless.

Another important point in deciding to rebuild a family is that a person changes over time. You can expect your husband to be the same as you knew him in marriage. However, various events and a separate life from you could have left a serious imprint on his personal qualities. Your man may change some views, become more emotional, or, on the contrary, sort of withdraw into himself. The feelings that he once experienced for you may well change.

So: before moving on, let's recap all of the above. Consider your desire to reconnect with your ex-husband. Test your feelings for sincerity. Try to honestly figure out what the rationales are for your desire to return your spouse to the family. If this is still an infringement of pride or revenge of his new passion, then most likely your restored union will still not stand the test of time. For the full recovery of a couple, a mutual sincere desire of each of the partners is important.

The union, which collapsed, but was restored again after some time, has certain advantages:

• partners already have experience of living together and doing everyday life;
• there is an opportunity to take into account past mistakes in relationships and work them out;
• The spouses who have come together after parting are well aware of the characters and personal characteristics of each other, thereby eliminating the stage of "grinding".

If you have weighed everything and firmly decided to converge with your ex-husband, you have a lot of work ahead. Its duration and success depend on the specific situation: on the circumstances and reasons for the breakup, on your relationship after the divorce, on the presence of common children and a new passion for your spouse.

First, develop the tactics that are most suitable for you, taking into account the personality and character of your husband. Having a good relationship and keeping in touch after the breakup will be a big plus. If you quarreled like a cat and a dog, and even your husband has a woman, this, alas, is a more difficult task. But rest assured, there is hope and chances for a reunion after the breakup anyway.

In your behavior, adhere to the following tactics and general rules.

• Immediately after the breakup, you should not impose a reunion. It is only permissible to make it clear that you are not persecuting your husband. Do not cut off contacts with him on your own initiative. However, if the man himself for some time does not want to communicate with you, do not insist or pressure him. Take a hiatus for a while and follow the development of the situation.
• Don't try to lure your ex-spouse with sexual favors. Intimacy presented to him on a silver platter can create the opposite effect. A man may interpret this as an opportunity to get sex from you without any obligations, while being free.
• Common children can help return a man's love. Organize joint vacations and walks with your dad. During such events, you can chat or recall a couple of times funny and pleasant moments of your life together.
• When meeting with your ex-spouse, try to correct your behavior in those moments that previously annoyed him or were unpleasant to him. For example, your husband did not like your excessive talkativeness, then overpower yourself and learn to listen with interest. Maybe you cared little about his affairs and problems. Then show him that you care about his success at work. But here it is important not to overplay. Fake participation, contrived questions will betray your pretense.
• Become newer and more interesting in your husband's eyes. Take up a hobby or creative activity. This can be a good topic of conversation. Perhaps your husband will also be interested in your new occupation. And even if not, you can still count on some of the changes in your life to catch his attention.
• After a divorce that has already happened, leave in the past the showdown, reproaches and claims. If they were already present in your marriage, then repeating them will only alienate the ex-spouse. After all, he will understand that nothing has changed and the same life awaits him, from which he just managed to escape.

At a certain stage of rapprochement, it becomes necessary to inform the man about your desire to restore the relationship. Naturally, this is best done not by phone or SMS, but in a personal conversation, looking into the eyes. This will emphasize the sincerity and seriousness of your intentions.

There is no need to rush to such a conversation. It definitely shouldn't be done right after the break. Wait for the passions to subside and you will be sure that you have set the stage for a reunion.

Naturally, such a conversation is always carried out in private, without strangers around. It is also important to remember that in this situation, you do not at all act as a humiliated supplicant. You only inform your ex that you are ready and willing to restore the family.

During the conversation, do not throw reproaches and remarks about your ex-husband. State your vision of the situation and ways of solving the problems that led to the breakup. Sorry for your mistakes. Do not force your husband to ask for forgiveness, in this case it will be formal and insincere. A person is able to apologize and start working on himself only after realizing his shortcomings and accepting the fact of their presence.

You may receive a negative answer. Let's say right away that this is not a reason for despair and is not at all the end. In any case, your spouse now knows that you intend to rebuild the relationship. And this is a big plus. After all, if he himself suddenly experiences such a desire, he will no longer be afraid and postpone his decision to return to you.

This pattern of behavior and actions can work if the gap occurred about a year ago or more. During this time, the man has time to taste aspects of life outside of marriage and weaned from his ex-wife. That is, a few months after the divorce, husbands often perceive their ex-wives almost on a par with other women.

During this period, you can reappear in his life and try to fall in love with the former again. Of course, in such a situation, your image is very important. You will also have to use coquetry and light flirting. In general, everything is as at the very beginning of a relationship with a new partner. Let the man seek you again, surround you with romance and signs of attention.Wait a little with physical intimacy, so that he does not get the impression that you are still ready to make any concessions for him.

Not always the ex-husband can while away the separation alone. Often, a divorced man quickly finds a passion for himself and because of this does not want to return to the family.

Undoubtedly, this situation is more complicated. First, find out if their relationship really developed after your breakup. If a man already had a relationship with another woman during marriage, then this ground was prepared. Perhaps his decision to leave you was deliberate and not at all spontaneous.

The second option is to strike up a relationship to spite the ex-wife. It is more likely that they will not be durable and successful.

In any case, you just have to be patient. During meetings and communication, try to look as profitable and interesting as possible in the eyes of your ex. It may very well be that by comparing your marriage and his new relationship, he will tend to choose his usual way of life and environment. A new passion is also not ideal. There is a chance that she will make more than one mistake and thereby soon extinguish the bonfire of her gentleman's feelings.

Do not give up and do not despair. Life is a very unpredictable thing. If you have set a goal for yourself, boldly and firmly go towards it. The only condition in this situation, perhaps, is the weighing of their decisions and the exclusion of treacherous and impulsive actions. Also, your complete inaction will be a bad helper for you.

Don't let yourself go, stay beautiful, successful and interesting. Yes, divorce is a very difficult event, but not fatal. Give yourself some time to mourn, cry and recover, but do not drag out this period. Keep fit, create a new style for yourself, go in for sports. In the end, from any situation you need to be able to allocate positive impulses and new opportunities for yourself.

Do not quarrel with friends and relatives of your husband, as well as with your mutual friends. Otherwise it will create an impression of you as a brawler. Moreover, these people are not to blame for your personal problems and disagreements. By continuing to connect with your ex's loved ones, you will increase your chances of reuniting with him.

It is a big mistake to involve children in your situation. Do not manipulate them, turn them against your father, and do not forbid them to communicate. Better, on the contrary, take part in their meetings yourself and come up with an interesting joint vacation.

Throwing mud on the spouse who left you will also not grace you in his eyes. Your intimate affairs, shortcomings, weaknesses and punctures should in any case remain between you. If you get the idea to discuss dirty details or complain about your ex to someone, ask yourself just one question: "How would I feel if my husband did something like this?"

Apathy, inaction and withdrawal will not move the situation. Depression is a common companion of painful breakups, but it must be fought. If it is very difficult for you and you cannot cope with the depression in any way, contact a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist. This is a completely normal practice that will help you get out of a difficult situation and move on.

In the event that the ex has another woman, do not meddle with them in a relationship. Do not call and do not threaten the new darling, do not make scandals.This is the choice of your husband, so if you influence someone, then only him. Excessive greed and self-interest in financial matters, extorting money from your ex-spouse will also significantly worsen the opinion of you.

After realizing your mistakes, do not leave them unanswered. A man is unlikely to want to return "to the same river." And if your marriage was for him something like a cage with an uncomfortable environment, without changes and work on yourself, you will most likely not be able to return your husband.

Surely during the time of living together, you have already been able to realize your shortcomings and weaknesses of character. It's time to try to correct them. A specialist psychologist can be of great help in this.

For information on whether to return to your former relationship, see the video below.