How to maintain a good relationship after a divorce?

Divorce inevitably brings a change to life. After him, a lot in the usual way will have to be changed, and there is no getting away from this. Often, women wonder whether it is worth continuing to communicate and try to build friendships with a man after breaking up. And if so, how to build communication without being a husband and wife? How to maintain good relations with your ex-spouse after a divorce will be discussed in this article.

After the emotions have subsided, bitterness and resentment have ceased to torment, many broken up couples establish friendly communication. This is absolutely normal, because these people have known each other for a long time. Remaining fierce enemies until the end of days is in any case not the best and most favorable scenario. It is much better to have a reliable loved one who can support and help. But not always those who were once husband and wife manage to remain friends. To begin with, it is advisable to carefully weigh the arguments in favor of building a friendship.

Consider why it is still worth maintaining a friendship after a breakup.

• You had a close, trusting relationship, you know a lot about each other. Even outside of marriage, under such conditions, further support and mutual assistance is possible.
• Children will not be torn between feuding dad and mom. For them, you will forever remain the parents with whom they want to spend time. You will retain the opportunity to relax together without a tense emotional environment.
• There is no point in spoiling good relations with your husband's parents and friends. If you break off all contacts with him, you will also lose friendship with his loved ones.
• Friendship between former spouses sometimes leads to the fact that the marriage can be restored.

However, there are also negative aspects of close communication after a breakup.

• A person can change significantly, especially if a long period has passed after the break. The qualities to which you are accustomed may no longer manifest.
• In severe breakups, communication with your ex can be very painful. In this case, it is worth waiting for a certain time. Or completely abandon attempts to restore relations.

The success of building a friendship after a divorce depends on many factors:

• reciprocity of this desire;
• reasons for the gap;
• relationship to the situation of family and friends;
• the presence of children and their perception of parental divorce;
• the state of affairs in the personal life of each of the former spouses.

Psychologists have developed several recommendations for girls and women, which will help, if not to improve relations, then at least not to take the situation "with hostility." Let's dwell on them in more detail.

• Getting started after a breakup is often not easy. Consider your ex-husband's feelings. If he is not ready to remain friends, do not press on him and do not impose contacts with you. Perhaps it will be possible to restore relations after a certain time.
• You should not build your new relationship demonstratively and in spite of the spouse you broke up with.
• Try not to transfer your emotions and resentment to children. Do not turn them against your father, do not limit their communication with him. On the contrary, do everything so that their relationship does not deteriorate and does not end.
• Try to keep a low profile when meeting and communicating. Leave grievances and reproaches in the past. Now you communicate in a new quality for yourself - as good friends.

• Mutual respect will help maintain a good relationship after a breakup. Accept your new situation, your ex-husband's new lifestyle.
• Let go of the urge to control the man you broke up with.
• Try not to communicate too often immediately after your divorce. This can lead to unwanted disorders. Try to see each other in a circle of friends on any outside, not related to your past relationship, reasons.
• Sometimes men go for tricks and try to establish friendships with their ex-wife in order to try to restore the marriage. If you see clear signs of such intentions, but you yourself are not ready to renew the union, do not give the man false hopes. Discuss your decision with him and put an end to it.

• Watch yourself, don't run over your appearance. Divorce is a difficult time, but it is not the end of life. Remain a confident woman.
• Do not try to scout out details of the ex-man's personal life with the help of children, friends, or mutual acquaintances. Everything that he considers necessary, he will tell during meetings and conversations. He now has a right to personal secrets.
• If you've managed to build a friendship after your divorce, don't dive into memories. Communicate on relevant topics, share something new and interesting that is happening with you at the moment.
• Sometimes the spouse is ready to continue to communicate, but it is difficult for him to hear about changes in your personal life. In such a situation, you should not hurt him by deliberately talking about a relationship with another man.

There are times when, after a divorce, former spouses converge again. Often this was facilitated by friendships and trusting communication during the break. But many women may have doubts about whether to return to a man.

Building a union after that is not always easy, even if the former spouses have a mutual desire. There are certain signs that a man wants you back. Let's look at them below.

• He is too actively interested in your life, persistently asks your acquaintances or yourself.A person who no longer plans to associate his life with a woman is not very interested in the details of her pastime, the presence of a new relationship or career ups.
• The man tries to see you as often as possible. Often these are clearly far-fetched and insignificant pretexts.
• You have noticed that his appearance has become much more well-groomed, he comes to meetings in an atypical image for him. Often men in such situations become much neater than when they live together in marriage.
• Signs of courtship appeared: small gifts, compliments.

If a man really has feelings for you, he is able to wait and give you time for an informed decision, which you will not have to regret in the end. Here are some tips to help you make the right decision.

• Do not rush to move in again. Extend your romantic period and test your feelings.
• Discuss your attitude towards each other, share your experiences and feelings that you are experiencing at the moment.
• Do not keep silent about mutual claims, because your break did not happen just like that. Only such a conversation should be conducted calmly, constructively, without emotions, insults and reproaches. Comments must be well-grounded and well-reasoned.
• Prepare your children to live together again. Answer their questions in a way that is clear to them because of their age.

• Make sure your intentions are reciprocal. Do not force yourself against your will and wishes.
• Try to make the decision yourself. Often, parents, relatives, or friends try to intervene. But from an outside perspective, they may not always have objective information, and even more so they cannot experience your personal feelings and experiences.
• Try to analyze your mistakes in marriage, work on yourself, listen to the claims of your ex-husband. The second chance is not always given, and it is foolish to lose it because of your stubbornness and pride.
• Tune in to a positive outcome. Patience and mutual support will help you get back together and build a life together.