How to get out of depression after a divorce?

Alas, not all couples manage to maintain their union. Due to circumstances, betrayal or simply dissimilarity of characters, spouses in some cases are forced to make a difficult decision. Divorce greatly changes the way of life, its usual course. This period is associated with emotional stress and experiences, the oppression of which often leads to prolonged and deep depression in both men and women.

In life, everyone has to deal with a considerable number of various difficulties. Breaking up in a marriage seriously hurts feelings, is confusing, and sometimes quite stressful. When the decision to divorce is made and announced, it is necessary to put an end to the joint plans and the previous way of life.

The following experiences and circumstances can lead to depression after a breakup.

• Feelings of uselessness and worthlessness. Most often, this is felt by those partners who “lived” their soul mate, pinned all their hopes only on an alliance with a husband or wife.
• Disappointment in oneself, infringement of pride and pride. If the divorce occurred due to a new relationship or a betrayal of a partner, such experiences often torment and haunt.
• Feelings of guilt in front of children, fear of losing touch with them.
• Remorse for past mistakes. Often, after a breakup, former partners fall into deep self-delusion, severely condemning themselves for any past events and misconduct in the marriage.
• Financial difficulties. After the dissolution of the marriage, the joint family budget falls apart, and one of the former spouses has children in their care. Finding a new home when moving out can also be a problem.
• Torment with guilt or shame.

Divorce can be of two types:

• by mutual agreement, when the decision is made by both spouses;
• initiated by one side, while for the other the break is not desirable.

The divorces taking place according to the first scenario can be called peaceful. After them, former partners often manage to arrange their personal life quite quickly. They can even communicate quite well after a while. But even in this case, the former spouses are still not immune from the occurrence of depressive manifestations.

In the second case, the experiences of the left side are much harder and stronger. The period of establishing a psychoemotional state and lifestyle can be quite long in this case.

In both men and women, the symptoms of depressive disorder look broadly the same:

• strong apathy that cannot be overcome in any way;
• chronic fatigue;
• sleep disturbance or insomnia;
• tearfulness, nervous exhaustion, inability to cope with emotions;
• depression is often manifested by outbursts of anger and aggression towards loved ones;
• a feeling of deep resentment towards a partner, a desire for revenge;
• fear of the future, a feeling of hopelessness and hopelessness in future life;
• falling self-esteem, self-doubt;
• addiction to alcohol and drugs, exacerbation of past addiction;
• suspiciousness, panic attacks, obsessive fears;
• disregard for their appearance and health, a person, as they say, “launches himself”;
• isolation in oneself, narrowing of the circle of communication or completely rejection of contacts;
• suicidal tendencies, the desire to commit suicide.

Depression is characterized by a long course. If one or 2-3 symptoms are observed for a couple of weeks, and then disappear, then this is just a passing state of sadness. It is not so scary and in most cases it is possible to cope with it quickly and without consequences.

In people going through a divorce, the depression goes through several stages. Depending on the personality traits and the specific situation, the duration of each of them may be different. The best option is to run each phase as quickly as possible without getting stuck in any of them.

• The first step is to deny the current situation. "This cannot be and never will be" - such a reaction is a protective mechanism of the psyche. Through the rejection of the obvious, the inevitable psychological stress is, as it were, postponed.
• Anger and resentment. After the transition to this phase, aggression and the desire to protect their interests come to the fore. This period is characterized by scandals and severe conflicts that further alienate partners from each other.
• A keen desire to return a partner. Desperate attempts to improve relations, persuade a spouse to reunite. Obsessive conversations, blackmail, gifts, threats can be used.
• The stage of active experience. The period of maximum acceptance of the current situation and the beginning of adaptation to it. After all the protective mechanisms have worked, the human psyche is forced to come to terms with the gap and new circumstances. From this stage, the direct experience and recovery process begins. It is at this stage that a delay occurs most often.

In turn, the duration of each stage of a depressive disorder and the severity of the experience depend on several factors:

• the age of the former spouses, the duration of their marriage and premarital relationship;
• availability of support from children, parents, friends and relatives;
• features of the psyche and stress resistance of each of the former spouses;
• relationships in marriage and feelings for each other at the time of the breakup;
• features of children's experience of parental divorce;
• specific reasons for the breakdown of the marriage relationship (betrayal, deception, financial problems, interference of relatives, addiction or dependence of one of the spouses, domestic violence, etc.).

In the case of severe and prolonged depression, you should not let everything go by itself. Such a condition can subsequently leave an indelible mark on the psyche, worsen health. No matter how difficult it is for a man or woman during this period, it is important to collect all his will and direct it to return to a full life.

Psychologist's advice will help relieve stress and normalize the psycho-emotional state after a divorce.

• Do not forbid yourself to cry and sadness. An active release of emotions gives very good results. Pain and resentment need to be lived and only after that you will be able to let go of all the negativity associated with this situation.
• Do not withdraw into yourself. Let people close to you, family or friends help you. Confidential conversations, expressing experiences will help to overcome depression.
• Feel free to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. This opportunity is often neglected as a sign of weakness. Meanwhile, professional help helps to get rid of heavy psycho-emotional experiences.
• Hobbies and exercise will help you get out of depression after a divorce. If you have not been fond of either one or the other before, find yourself an activity of your interest. Sign up for a gym, a creative studio, or master a musical instrument. This will broaden your horizons and increase your social circle.

• Antidepressants relieve acute mental stress. But such drugs can only be prescribed by a medical psychologist or psychotherapist, having previously assessed the situation. Plus, in many cases, antidepressants are addictive. After that, additional therapy is required to relieve addiction.
• The following tip applies more to women, but may partially work for men as well. Take care of yourself, look for a new look for yourself and bring it to life through wardrobe, makeup and hairstyle changes.
• Do not rush to start a new relationship in spite of your ex. This can lead to new frustrations. Communicate more with friends and people you like.
• Never pour alcohol on grief., and even more so do not touch psychotropic substances. A very short fun will be replaced by a deterioration in the emotional state. Such a lifestyle will definitely negatively affect your health.