The most common reasons for divorce

In the modern world, views on marriage have become freer. The concluded union can be terminated by agreement of the parties or at the initiative of one of the spouses. In some cases, this outcome gives rise to a new, happier life. Sometimes a breakup brings pain and deep depression. What are the reasons pushing people who are married to divorce?

A very difficult test for a newly formed couple is the first 3 years of marriage. It is especially difficult to get used to living together for those who did not have the opportunity to live together during the period of premarital relations. Statistical studies have shown that in the first years of family life, about 40% of couples diverge.

More often than not, the decision to divorce is made by young spouses. People under 30 have not yet fully formed their goals, there is a tendency to impulsiveness. Couples can decide to start a family, and then divorce in a fairly short time, succumbing to emotions.

However, those who entered into a marriage union after 30 years are not always able to maintain it. At this age, people often get divorced due to the fact that it is more difficult for them to enter new social roles and accept the individuality of the one with whom they now share their everyday life. Being a mature personality, it is not always possible to change your negative sides of character, habits that can irritate a partner.

As for our country, according to research, the main reasons for divorce are at the moment there are unreadiness for living together, alcoholism, treason.

• Social immaturity, incompatibility of character, excessively early marriage. In short, unpreparedness for family life. This is the reason for more than 40% of marriage breakdowns in Russia. This problem is expressed in untidy life, mutual insults, humiliation, conflicts. All this in a fairly short time leads partners to a decision to break off relations.
• A very serious problem is alcoholism or other addiction of one of the spouses. An alcoholic inflicts great pain on his loved ones. Often the behavior of such a person is inadequate and aggressive. If a person does not find the strength to cope with this, life with him becomes almost unbearable.
• In third place among the reasons for divorce is betrayal of one of the spouses.

The main reason leading to the breakup of a couple is the divergence of characters and interests. This problem is especially often formed in early marriages. Not having had time to get to know each other well, but succumbing to feelings and impressions, the partners rushed to the registry office. And having started a life together, they inevitably began to be disappointed in each other.

Very different views, moral values ​​and beliefs seriously alienate people from each other. The lack of common interests makes it impossible to have a pleasant joint leisure, or it is spent separately: the wife is in the theater, the husband is at football. Or one of the spouses constantly sacrifices his wishes and inclinations.

Differences in character also lead to serious disagreements in everyday matters. And the most frequent reasons for family quarrels and scandals are just connected with the conduct of a common household and household. Also, the different positions in life will inevitably knock the spouses head-on in the issue of raising children.

A marriage can fall apart due to the fact that partners are very different in age. With a significant difference in years and past experience, it is almost impossible to hope for mutual understanding and the presence of common interests in a couple. The younger partner is still full of energy and wants an interesting, fulfilling life. A person of age is prone to peace and constancy of life.

The career of a husband or wife can get in the way of marriage. This reason for divorce is very common in Europe and the United States. In our country, working conditions are such that a woman often does not have enough personal time. In such conditions, there is no need to talk about a responsible and serious upbringing of a child. Therefore, at the risk of losing a good position, a woman often hesitates to give her spouse children, which, in turn, can significantly cool feelings and push a man to break up.

The reluctance of a child by one of the spouses can be singled out as a separate reason. It may not be related to career or financial situation. Often, young men are in no hurry to have children, as they see him as a kind of burden for the family.

Men often react painfully to the appearance of a child. Especially if the baby was not planned. Many husbands find themselves completely unprepared for the role of a father. Or they are annoyed by the fact that children draw the spouse's attention to themselves. A fairly large number of families break up with the appearance of the first child.

Financial problems can push the couple to divorce. In this regard, the situation may have several options.

• The husband does not earn enough money and the family is in a precarious financial situation. At the same time, the wife cannot find a decent job or is on maternity leave.
• The spouse has a large income, and the wife does not work at all, but takes a lot of money for her personal expenses. This situation can eventually bore the breadwinner of the family. There will be a desire to throw off the parasite from your contentment.
• The wife earns much more than her husband. Although in modern society, male dominance is no longer so necessary, many representatives of the strongly gender adhere to the old views. Considering that it is the head of the family who should provide for the family, some men cannot come to terms with the financial success of their wife. This infringes upon their pride and self-esteem.
• The husband does not work at all and the wife supports the family. Sometimes a man cannot find a job to his liking, he often quits. Alcoholism or health problems can also make finding a decent job challenging. A woman in such a situation is forced to rely only on herself. Nursing wives often decide to divorce and keep only children.

• Inability to talk confidentially with a spouse, accumulation of negative emotions. It happens that a wife and her husband have accumulated unspoken claims and grievances for many years. But this does not guarantee "peace and quiet" in the relationship. The accumulation of negativity leads to outbursts of rage and breakdowns over trifles. Then the husband, dissatisfied with something completely different, will yell at his wife very much because of some trifle, such as under-salted soup or a badly folded shirt. At the same time, he will throw out all his indignation, using insults and swearing.
• The same goes for women. Sometimes the spouse cannot understand why the wife is nervous and finds fault with trifles. But in reality, there is no trust and normal communication in the family. Claims are hushed up and accumulate in the form of nervous tension and mutual irritation. Thus, quarrels and scandals happen more and more often. Such an atmosphere in the family ultimately pushes the spouses to decide on a divorce.
• Incomprehensions, lies and mutual distrust of the spouses - these are very good reasons for ending the relationship. Sooner or later, any deception is revealed, causing pain to the one who was deceived. It is very difficult to live in an atmosphere of mutual distrust. The wife is forced to constantly wonder whether her husband really stayed at work or went to his parents. The husband also begins to check on his wife for all sorts of reasons.

• Psychological oppression, moral pressure, a clear desire to dominate the partner in everything. Most often men are prone to this. Some husbands consider it normal to be rude to their wife, to say hurtful words to her on any occasion. The feeling of possessiveness pushes the spouse to restrict the freedom of his companion. Often, even contacts with old friends may be forbidden to the wife. In this case, married life becomes like a real cage. A modern woman, most likely, will be able to find the strength in herself to fly away from her.
• The parents of one of them may interfere in the relationship of the spouses. It so happens that mom and dad do not initially approve of the choice of their child. To prove their innocence and instruct them “on the right path”, parents set up their child against the chosen one or the chosen one.

• If violence is practiced in the family, such a union cannot be called happy. The behavior of the aggressor is very difficult to change by persuasion and requests. Often, people prone to quick temper and physical aggression do not completely control themselves. In this case, only specialists will be able to help, and even then on condition that the person himself is aware of his problem and voluntarily wants to work with it.
• For many, treason is an unforgivable offense. Most people still cannot come to terms with the fact that their partner did such a thing. If the betrayal is repeated many times, then it is definitely not worth considering it an accident or a fleeting mistake.Sometimes a spouse wants to take revenge on the other half, repaying in kind. This only aggravates the situation and most often inevitably leads to divorce.
• Problems in a couple's sex life seriously affect the relationship. Many people, alas, are not ready to adequately and openly talk with a partner about intimate life. Therefore, this sphere of relations between spouses often comes to naught and they even sleep in different beds. If sex does happen, then it is not satisfying.

• Couples who have been together for many years often have a period of cooling to each other. It is also connected with the fact that for a long time life has become too well-established and life together has become a routine. Consistency is not bad, but the sheer monotony of life, observed day after day, has a very bad effect on the overall emotional state. Feeling that life is not filled with anything interesting, a person often feels a completely natural desire to change it. But if the one with whom this life is connected does not support him in this, there is nothing left but to look for changes outside the existing family.
• Cramped living conditions can significantly heat up the situation in the family. Sometimes more than one generation is forced to live in a small living space (for example, spouses, their children and elderly parents). In such conditions, it is difficult to establish a normal life. The constant presence of a large number of people, even close ones, is also very oppressive. Everyone has moments when he wants to be alone with himself, this is a natural psychological release. It is especially difficult in such conditions for those who are prone to introversion.

It is worth saying that a divorce is not always a scandal, pain and a break in any relationship with an ex-husband or wife. There are situations when spouses make a mutual decision and even remain friends. For a couple and for common children, this is undoubtedly the best option. However, in most cases one of the spouses is the initiator of the breakup. And then the whole process becomes painfully complicated, especially for the one who is left behind.

In addition, each person reacts to the breakdown of their marriage very individually. Someone quite quickly copes with pain and resentment, begins to live fully and starts new relationships. Some, on the contrary, fall into a deep and prolonged depression. This condition is accompanied by nervous exhaustion, stress, often a man or woman in such a situation turns to alcohol, thereby ruining his health.

When divorcing, it is very important to think about the consequences for the children. Leaving the family of a mom or dad is not an easy test for them. Do not think that due to their age they will understand and feel little. Sometimes children get severe psychological trauma in such situations. It is very important that your relationship after a breakup has minimal impact on them. Talk to your spouse about how you will present this to the children. Try to explain what's going on according to their age.

Depending on the specific situation, divorce can be both good and bad. A mutually agreed, balanced decision to dissolve a marriage is often beneficial. For ex-spouses, this is a chance to start a new life, to find a more suitable partner.

In any case, in a situation where life together is clearly not happy, and attempts to establish it have not been crowned with success, divorce is really the only way out.There is no point in forcing yourself to live together for the rest of your days with someone you don't love, who offend, hurt, or constantly cheat. This applies to both men and women.

The other side of divorce has to do with the impulsiveness of one of the spouses. By giving in to impulse and emotion, he or she announces his or her decision. In this case, the life of the second partner literally collapses. He needs to quickly restructure the plans and dreams associated with the soul mate, to accept what will not be like before. For many, this is very difficult.

Although divorce is a difficult period, it is by no means the end of your life. One of the wisdoms says: "When one door closes in front of you, somewhere nearby, another immediately swings open." Try not to get stuck in the past after a divorce, but to rebuild your life, find new things to do.

If you yourself were the initiator of the divorce, and your partner takes it hard, do not beat yourself up. You have the right to control your life. If this decision has been weighed and you are sure of it, no one should hold you back.

Whatever the reasons for the breakup, at the heart of any of them is a lack of mutual understanding, an inability to communicate and accept each other, a lack of moral mutual assistance and tolerance. These qualities are important in any area of ​​life, and are essential in marriage.