How to stop being jealous of a girl?
Jealousy is a negative feeling that must be got rid of, no matter what caused her attacks. It is pointless to arrange inquiries, because quarrels for people who love each other only interfere. Psychologists offer men a number of good advice to help maintain a relationship with his girlfriend.
Reasons for jealousy
Jealousy can be justified and unjustified. In the first case, if you notice that a girl is flirting and flirting with others, a similar feeling arises, and it has a basis. However, it also happens that a jealous person has no evidence, but still suspects and tries to convict the girl of something that does not exist. There are a number of reasons why jealousy is assessed. They were developed by specialists. First of all, this negative feeling is based on low self-esteem and a subconscious fear of losing the right person. Not in the last place are material problems and the different social level of the boy's and girl's families.
If a guy, especially a young one, does not have much experience with the opposite sex, he begins to feel that it will not be easy to find a new girlfriend. In fact, this is not the case. If a decision is made to part with this girl, you need to decide on this and not delay. There is no point in coming up with a reason in the form of jealousy and betrayal. If the relationship has exhausted itself, it was still life experience, communication skills with another person. Therefore, in any case, the best option would be to part in kind, without leading to a quarrel.
Inferiority complexes have not spared, probably, not a single man in the world. There is always someone who is taller and cooler, richer and more famous.And the imagination begins to finish painting the picture, how a more successful rival attracts the girl's attention, and then leads her away. Especially if such a negative example was in the past. A lot of stress arises, which many guys extinguish by arranging scenes for an innocent girlfriend.
It also happens that, in fact, an excuse was invented to discharge, although the guy is not jealous of anyone.
If we talk about the origin and social environment, as well as the level of material prosperity, then there are many examples when they most of all influenced the relationship. Wealthy youth are accustomed to elite entertainment: trips abroad, outdoor activities and sports, going to concerts of famous performers and premieres of new films.
Values from childhood have already been formed by an advanced family. It becomes difficult for such a guy to understand what can be found interesting in parties with a lot of alcohol and loud awkward music, which are held in high esteem in the girl's company and family.
The situation becomes even more difficult if the girl comes from a better-off environment., where among her friends there are financially successful men, often older and more experienced. After all, beautiful girls love successful guys, this is the stereotype. The guy begins to consider himself superfluous, jealous and oppresses his girlfriend with constant questions about the past. But we should not forget that creative and purposeful natures attract the female sex no less than traditional "alpha males". How many women, so many opinions.
According to statistics, most of all men are prone to fits of jealousy. Polygamous by nature, they transfer their vision to women without knowing their psychology. For some, this destructive feeling reaches gigantic levels, even paranoia. Then the man begins to think that his partner is cheating on him every free minute. Any phone call, message, visit to family and friends is a reason for disassembly.
In fact, everyone judges for themselves. Women are not as prone to cheating and seeking novelty in relationships as men. This is a proven fact.
Impact on relationships
The famous saying that jealousy is an indicator of love is actually incorrect. "Raise the degree" and keep the other in good shape, induce an adrenaline rush, diversify the routine - yes, it's tempting. But how easy it is to cross this line, to lead to the destruction of all that is good and bright.
Jealous of another, a man is more likely to push his partner to cheat. Scandals and stormy scenes can only lead to parting, but not in any way to a change in the situation. These are not the feelings that women need, and certainly not a testament to love. In any situation, you need to calm down and stop winding yourself up. It must be remembered that the partner is not property, not fun. Therefore, a thinking person will weigh all the risks and decide whether, for the sake of baseless fantasies, it is worth destroying the relationships that interest him. And in 99% of situations it turns out that no, not worth it.
Consider what the behavior of the jealous "Othello" leads to.
- Loss of mutual respect. Instead of the image of a tough macho, you get an insecure tyrant, demonstrating selfishness instead of love. Real relationships can only be built on the basis of preserving personal space. By narrowing it down, you are going nowhere.
- Tired of failure and misunderstanding. Reproaches and suspicions give rise to the feeling of a "bird in a cage", loss of freedom and joy.
- Treason. With scandals and humiliation, a man only pushes his girlfriend to a possible betrayal. Another quarrel, and the girl begins to dream of an admiring and calm friend. It is easy to imagine what will happen next. Experts say that if a woman decides to cheat out of revenge, she will definitely do it.
- Negativity for children. You should never make violent scenes in the presence of children. Their vulnerable psyche will react, forming an image of an unworthy father. In the future, such a model of behavior in the family will cause complexes in the child.This is another significant reason to overcome yourself and stop making scandals.
How to overcome?
To learn to restrain yourself, it is better to switch your attention to activities aimed at self-development. This will help you stop obsessing over failure, breaking the bad mood on the woman. Those who do not think to bring themselves to become a patient of a psychiatrist urgently need to stop being jealous of their friend for everyone. Men's life can and should be rich and interesting. In order to increase self-esteem and gain recognition, desire alone is not enough. You need painstaking work on yourself.
Here are some tips for various activities to replace unpleasant thoughts of jealousy.
- Develop your talents. Evaluate those unconditional advantages for which the girl chose you: what are you a specialist and skilled in, where are the strengths of character and appearance. Among the qualities that women especially like, psychologists call purposefulness, kindness and loyalty, optimism and a sense of humor. Fitness and cleanliness are not discussed. Sense of style and taste are developed and strengthened through literature and professional advice.
Self-esteem often increases as you achieve your desired fitness level. This does not mean that you need to swing day and night. But losing weight and looking active and athletic is a must.
- Get carried away with something. A hobby is a must for every person. That is, instead of thinking about girls, a guy starts a motorcycle, rides a snowboard and a bicycle, swims and spends time in the gym. The choice is very large - from chess and martial arts to learning a foreign language. It distracts you from unnecessary thoughts and benefits from starting your own business. Meditation and yoga are recommended for calming.
- Chat, including with other girls. This is a great way to beat mistrust and learn a lot about female psychology. At the same time, it is quite possible to remain faithful, communicating only in a friendly way. There will definitely be less time for jealousy, and more positive time.
- Become original and unique. Give unexpected gifts and surprises day and night. Harmonious intimate relationships largely determine how strong your union is. Fall in love and feel free to compliment, show your feelings, and arrange romantic dates. For a woman who sees in you a source of joy and positive emotions, you will surely become the only and desired one.
It also happens that the relationship is over long ago, and the guy continues to be jealous of his now ex-girlfriend. If feelings persist, accompanied by excruciating jealousy, psychologists advise to quickly forget about the past and tune in to the future. It is better to think that time has passed, the girl is no longer as attractive and interesting as she was at the time of communication with you. For another man, she will get more cynical and tough, and moreover, older. Follow her less often on social networks and do not revise photos and videos.
If a new romance arose too quickly, the next guy will probably be jealous of the previous passion, which will make it much easier for you to forget about your worries.
Psychologist's advice
Psychologists are sure that the feeling of jealousy is born inside the person himself, symbolizing problems in his self-esteem. In order to finally eradicate this bad habit, you can use the system-vector philosophical practice. This technique was developed by Dr. Burlan.
You can give a sense of security and protection based on knowledge of the characteristics and types of the human psyche. There will not even be a hint of jealousy if the trust between you is complete, and you open all your dreams and secrets to each other. Give pleasure to a particular girl according to her vectors, but not at random, but knowing exactly how to do it.Make sure that a gentle woman's soul reveals itself to you more than to any close friend. If this happens, then there will never be any reason to be jealous again.
First of all, it is necessary to establish which of the main vectors the woman belongs to. Based on this, we list the recommendations of a psychologist on how to satisfy the needs of each type.
- Brown. Provide more orderliness in everyday life and leisurely activities, including shopping. No unfair remarks, only praise for the cause. And also love for her cuisine.
- Visual. Romantic poems, colorful cards and huge bouquets should never end. And also dates by the moon, bright pictures and sparkling dances.
- Cutaneous. Massage and tactile pleasures, which the girl needs so much, are important here. But she also needs assessments of accounting skills and thrift. After all, this friend is an absolute realist.
- Sound. It's hard to imagine this type without music. All her associations are associated with a pleasant sound, including the male voice. At the same time, girls of this type love solitude, epistolary genre and fantastic ideas. You can discuss together the structure of the solar system, but it is better to fly away together to a distant star.
Having understood the intricacies of psychology, many thousands of the stronger sex have weaned themselves from stupid jealousy. Instead, they have built a happy and deep relationship with their chosen one.
How to stop being jealous of your girlfriend or wife, see the next video.