How to stop being jealous of a guy?
Often, girls are thrown off balance by a strong feeling of jealousy. Young ladies are interested in knowing why it arises, how to deal with it, is it possible to control oneself and get out of unpleasant situations with dignity.
Why does jealousy arise?
A jealous woman is often overwhelmed with dissatisfaction with a partner for whom she has an intimate attraction. A jealous girl suspects a guy who has buried himself in a computer or mobile phone of infidelity. Communication through social networks and instant messengers allows men to increase their social circle, find entertainment without leaving home.
Jealousy is a destructive feeling that eats away at a person from the inside. Paralysis of the will, disgusting mood, strong attachment to a friend brings a jealous woman to neurosis.
Uncontrolled jealousy irritates the chosen one. The disastrous feeling most often leads a couple to break up. A girl cannot safely walk with her boyfriend. When an interesting person appears, he begins to look at him with fear. A joint visit to any event makes her very worried: whether a pretty girl will come there.
First you need to figure out why jealousy arises and to whom: to everyone or only to his girlfriend. There are direct and indirect reasons for jealousy. The first type means a real betrayal of a young man. The girl found him in the arms of a rival or in bed.
Psychologists describe some indirect causes.
- Mistrust arises due to a too short period of communication or an already existing forgiven misconduct.The reason for jealousy may be rumors about a guy's love or an accidentally dropped phrase from friends about a girl in whose company he was recently seen.
- Poor quality sex or a lack of intimate relationships makes the girl think about the presence of a rival. A more emotional person will wind herself up, draw vivid pictures of treason in her imagination.
- Low self-esteem breeds insecurity and fear of loneliness. Any lateness of a young man makes the girl very worried. She imagines that the guy is currently sitting in a cafe with a lady of unearthly beauty. And the girl waiting for him is not worth a beauty's nail.
- A girl's sad past can also cause jealousy. The betrayal of the previous guy suggests the infidelity of the current chosen one.
- Great expectations were not met. The girl waited, but did not wait for romantic dates, surprises. She begins to think that attention is being given to another lady.
- Suspicion can arise from your own suspiciousness. The girl is waiting for an offer, but he is not. She fancies that the young man has several applicants for the honorary title of wife.
Sources can be:
- lack of paternal love;
- copying the scandalous behavior of the mother, who arranged scenes of jealousy for the father;
- fear of being unnecessary, abandoned, humiliated by a woman.
It is easy to detect clear signs of jealousy in the behavior of jealous ladies.
- Total surveillance of his beloved is manifested in endless calls to the guy in order to find out where and with whom he is at the moment. Viewing the correspondence of a young man on social networks, checking his mobile phone has a detrimental effect on relationships. The endless search for a rival and the desire to expose the traitor brings a lot of torment and torment to the jealous herself.
- Unfounded accusations of treason are regularly brought against a partner. Any action of a friend can serve as a reason for jealousy. The young man made a surprise to the girl - she immediately begins to suspect that the guy is trying to make amends. Should the chosen one linger - she thinks that he is with his mistress, went to take a shower - prepares for the upcoming date.
- Some girls are capable of making a huge scandal in a public place. This behavior is unacceptable. Without hesitation in expressions, a woman can insult and humiliate her boyfriend and alleged rival. Hysterical persons cling to the hair of a representative of the opposite sex, sometimes who happens to be quite by accident next to the object of jealousy and has nothing to do with a stranger's young man.
- Jealousy for work most often arises from pretty employees. Any delay at work causes a flurry of claims and unfounded accusations.
How to stop being jealous?
Jealousy is the most common reason for breakups. Often a girl is jealous of her beloved man groundlessly. A jealous woman with all her being recognizes her own failure, weakness, vulnerability. She shows low self-esteem. Behavior makes it clear to the young man that he is a worthless woman. With tantrums and showdowns, a girl can personally push her beloved man into the arms of another.
Sometimes a young man stays on social networks for a long time. This does not mean that he is looking for a new partner. It is possible that the guy has a childhood friend with whom he sometimes communicates. You need to trust your beloved.
A jealous girl wants to tie her beloved man to her. This is not recommended.
It is impossible to possess the soul, body, thoughts of another person. The guy is not the girl's property. It is up to him to decide with whom to build relationships.
Accepting this fact will help you overcome the insidious feeling. It is better to let the young man go, give him freedom, feeling that the guy will again reach out to his girlfriend. He doesn't want to lose her.Increasing self-esteem in her own eyes will enable a girl to overcome mistrust in her chosen one.
Painstaking work on yourself will help get rid of jealousy. A girl who is confident in her attractiveness and her own strengths will not be infinitely jealous. First you need to accept yourself and love for who you are.
Having turned herself into a self-sufficient person, the young lady will forever get rid of the fear of being alone.
Pointless pain, groundless jealousy will go away forever.
The ability to appreciate spiritual freedom and the presence of your own personal space contributes to the understanding of another person. A confident woman will not paint scenes of betrayal in her imagination.
She reasons like this:
- the guy is late for a date - traffic jams, public transport is waiting for a long time;
- stayed on overtime - a rush job, reports, there are a lot of clients (and not solitude with a beautiful colleague in a secluded place);
- decided to take a rest with friends - well done, you need to rest, relax sometime.
A girl at this time can visit her parents, meet with girlfriends, complete pending business. But the next meeting with a young man, they will share their impressions, tell each other about the time spent.
Jealousy can arise not only in relation to his childhood friend.
To friends
She doesn't like her boyfriend's time with her friends. The feeling that he spends much more time with them than with her makes him jealous. The young man's only friend also annoys the jealous woman. She does not want to come to terms with their many years of friendship. It is not worth destroying established traditions. Doing other things, meeting with friends prevent the satiety of relationships.
Friends are not to blame for the fact that the girl lacks the attention of a young man. The problem is solved by frank conversation. We must offer the chosen one more time to spend together.
It should be remembered: the guy will stop spending a lot of time with friends, jealousy for work will begin.
The best way out of this situation is to get rid of the feeling of jealousy, to learn to be in harmony with oneself.
To other girls
A harmless kiss on the cheek of a classmate, classmate can cause a storm of indignation. A flurry of accusations will fall on the young man.
If a girl notices an increased interest of a young man in her friend, then there is no need to rush to conclusions. Maybe a friend is feeling lonely at a party, the guy decided to support her. Aggressive behavior will only complicate the situation.
To the past
It is pointless to be jealous of the past: it is impossible to change it. You need to live in the present day and thoughts about the future. Excessive information about a young person's former relationship can cause strong feelings of jealousy. Mental comparisons of oneself with the previous chosen one lead to severe mental trauma.
Many women are tormented by the fear of a lover's return to an old relationship, especially if a young man remembers his previous chosen one with tenderness and longing.
In this case, it is better to show empathy, to support your boyfriend. Everyone can be sad about a past life.
This does not mean that he wants to resume meetings with his ex. We must develop self-confidence and drive away all doubts.
It is quite another matter if your chosen one continues to maintain a relationship with an ex-girlfriend: calls back, texting on social networks.
It's worth fighting against. It is necessary to call the beloved for a frank conversation.
In a calm tone, ask him if he would be pleased if you renew your friendship with your ex. Offer him to stop meeting with an old friend, communication through instant messengers and phone calls.
How to get rid of jealousy after infidelity?
A deep wound in the heart will bleed after reliable information about the guy's cheating. The soil is slipping from under our feet, the world is crumbling, resentment torments.Lack of understanding of a vile deed does not allow to live in peace. Painful jealousy overwhelms the soul. It is difficult for a girl to control herself, but you can learn to control anger.
There are several ways to resolve the situation:
- reconcile, pretend that there was no betrayal, suppress the feeling of jealousy;
- after analyzing the situation, to understand that the young man who has returned to you is comfortable, interesting, good with you, therefore, there is no reason for jealousy;
- distract yourself with wonderful music, going to the cinema, theater, museum, you can even cry alone with yourself, and then continue your life as usual.
You can seek help from a psychologist. It will help you cope with uncontrollable emotions.
There are many cases when a girl herself provokes a guy to cheat. First, he presents unfounded accusations, looks for evidence of treason, scandals. The partner justifies himself. No explanation is accepted. The guy is unpleasant.
Subsequently, his experiences are transformed into indifference. There is a cooling of feelings in a relationship, a gradual distance from a partner. In the company of friends, the young man rests with his soul. Meeting another girl leads to the birth of a new relationship. A jealous girl is left alone with her jealousy.
Psychological advice
It's hard to live with jealousy. You need to talk frankly with the chosen one about your concern. Let him speak to the end. Don't make him make excuses for little things. Relationships must be clarified calmly, delicately, without claims and insults. You should show independence and objectivity, not depend on someone else's opinion, not attach importance to gossip.
It is extremely important to increase self-esteem, gain self-confidence.
Excess weight interferes - take care of yourself: go to diet food, visit the gym, sports sections. If you don't like your own hair, do a different hairstyle, change your hair color. Not satisfied with your nails - go for a manicure, change the nail design.
The girl must keep her room in perfect order. It is necessary to monitor the grooming of the hair. Clothes should fit neatly on the woman. A girl who has femininity and wisdom is pleasing to young people.
It is advisable to devote several hours a day to self-development. You need to read more books, improve. Passion for cognitive programs will raise your intellectual level. A confident, calm, radiant lady will not want to be jealous. A self-sufficient girl commands respect among young people. Your boyfriend is no exception. He will be happy to be next to a sincerely loving himself and his girlfriend.
For information on how to cope with jealousy and stop being jealous of your boyfriend, see the next video.