Pathological jealousy: what is it, what are the reasons and how to get rid of?

Pathological jealousy goes beyond general psychology and is the subject of study by clinical and forensic psychiatrists. And all because this is a very painful condition, which is dangerous both for the jealous person himself and for the people around him. If nothing is done, then it is capable of destroying a personality, breaking a life, causing a tragedy, which will be sparingly reported in a criminal chronicle. In this article, we will look at how and why paranoid jealousy develops, how to recognize and overcome it.

The people believe that if he is jealous, then he loves. But in the case of morbid jealousy, this is not the case. A person is constantly jealous, without any reason or reason, common sense and reasonable arguments are alien to him. With his jealousy, he torments himself and brings those around him to an extreme point, becomes suspicious, aggressive, uncontrollable.

Is it a disease? Of course, this is a pathological state of the psyche, which some experts in the field of forensic and clinical psychiatry refer to as delusional disorders. Almost always, this delirium is accompanied by paranoid disorders - a jealous person not only suspects a soul mate of infidelity, but is also sure that drugs that reduce potency are added to his food and drink, they want to poison him, kill him. Some even believe that the partner is cheating at night, while sleeping.

Officially, morbid jealousy refers to the delusions of persecution. It is often the initial sign of schizophrenia or accompanies psychosis.

Ordinary jealousy is considered a psycho reaction, which nature has created to preserve the population. In other words, the jealous person tries to prevent the transfer of genes to the rival.Pathological jealousy goes beyond this mechanism; it develops according to its own painful laws.

In psychiatry and psychology, pathological jealousy has been studied for a long time. Jealous people who elevate their feelings and suspicions to the degree of paranoia are found in all peoples, the disease does not depend on race, age, social status and income level, on gender. Often, the violation is accompanied by concomitant alcohol or drug addiction, but this is not at all a prerequisite.

The pathological form of jealousy occurs on average in 2% of the population. These are only diagnosed cases, and how many jealous people never come to a psychiatrist, considering their behavior to be normal! The statistics are disappointing: 34% of men who killed their wives named the infidelity of their second half as the reason for the act. The facts of betrayal, according to investigations, were confirmed only in 30% of such cases, that is, most women died because of the infidelity invented by their partner. Among women who killed their husbands, only 15% of criminals referred to treason. The facts of male infidelity in these cases were confirmed identically - 32%.

In forensic psychiatry, if such a disorder is found in a person, if it is proved that such jealousy is dangerous to others, the jealous person has the right to be placed on compulsory psychiatric treatment.

The most famous pathological jealous people are Bluebeard and Othello. The disease itself is called "Othello's syndrome" in some psychiatric manuals.

The reasons due to which the state of irrational jealousy has developed deserve special attention, because they do not appear just like that, not spontaneously. The prerequisites for delusional paranoid mental disorder arise long before the first manifestation, and knowledge of risk factors will help to avoid mistakes even before an official marriage is concluded or partners decide to live together under one roof. If you look at your partner more closely, then the prerequisites can be noticed in advance.

Most often, pathological jealous people are people with extremely low self-esteem. If a person is afraid of being alone, this is also an alarming "call". The future jealous person, even in the candy-bouquet period, constantly asks and clarifies what the partner feels for him, since he doubts the sincerity of feelings. Men and women with reduced sexual functions (this also includes total infertility) have a very high chance of becoming paranoid jealous in the future.

Other reasons can be described as follows:

• the presence of severe psychological trauma in the past associated with betrayal and betrayal (we are talking about parting due to the real infidelity of a partner, after which it was difficult for a person to recover, he needed medication and psychiatric help);
• the presence of brain injuries, after which violations of its functions (epilepsy) developed, as well as post-traumatic and congenital mental disorders: paranoid schizophrenia, depression;
• negative childhood experience (abandoned by parents, being raised by grandmothers or in an orphanage, etc.);
• alcoholism, drunkenness, even if they were in the past, but cured, and today a person does not drink alcohol;
• vascular disorders in the brain;
• hormonal disorders;
• sexual dysfunctions (frigidity, impotence);
• the onset of menopause in women.

If, with ordinary, generally normal jealousy, suspicions and feelings in one of the partners begin in the presence of certain direct or indirect evidence, that is, facts, then with irrational jealousy, a person does not need reasons.He himself invents events, facts, rivals or rivals for himself, “cultivates” his own suffering, and all attempts by a partner to explain that this has nothing to do with reality are perceived exclusively as a lie.

Even receiving convincing evidence of the loyalty of a spouse or spouse, the pathological jealous person does not calm down, he sincerely does not believe in their reliability, he believes that those who provide such data are in collusion with his unfaithful partner.

Signs of such a mental disorder are most often manifested after the age of 28 years. According to the observations of psychiatrists, there are ages that are the most "dangerous" in terms of the development of symptoms - 30, 35, 37, 42, 48, 50 years and older. The elderly (after 65–70 years) are even more jealous than the young, especially for women who are in a state of menopause.

A jealous person of any age is characterized by the predominance of the personal over the public. He only cares about his emotions, many events of family life (the success of children, problems of parents) pass him by, he does not delve into them. But he can talk for hours about his own suffering about the allegedly walking partner and his allegedly insidious actions and designs.

In the fair sex, most often the state of delusional paranoid jealousy develops against the background of postpartum depression or against the background of the onset of menopause. It is possible that a serious disorder will develop against the background of infertility or some external changes that cannot be corrected (obesity, cosmetic defects of the face and body after injuries, accidents, burns, the acquisition of disability). But other scenarios are also possible: the disease has always been, since childhood, it just manifested itself later.

Women with morbid jealousy are like super spies. They can tirelessly follow their partner, check where and with whom he went, what messages and letters are on the phone or in the mail of the husband, who called him. Some install programs for tracking a partner, they may even end up installing hidden video surveillance cameras in his car and in his apartment. Total control. A man cannot step a single step without the knowledge of his wife.

In representatives of the stronger sex, the state of pathological jealousy usually develops against the background of a wide range of reasons, among which not the last place is given to low self-esteem, failures in life, and sexual dysfunctions. Most jealous people do not want to follow and spy on their partner, although there are some “specimens” who do not disdain by any means. A characteristic manifestation is outbursts of unmotivated aggression. A man begins to scream, break down, open his hands for no apparent reason, spontaneously and suddenly.

Husband-Othello ceases to show tender feelings to his wife, he goes to bed separately, avoids sexual intimacy, courtship, dodges hugs and kisses, often reproaches his wife. He seeks to establish control over his wife's social circle: he insists that she should not communicate with her friends, colleagues, and come home from work on time (up to a minute).

Men often become tyrants: they can engage in assault, restrict their wife's freedom by locking her in the apartment, and take away the phone. Often such men require detailed financial statements from their spouse for every penny she spends. They can blackmail children and even threaten to kill her and her alleged lover.

Like any other mental illness, jealousy without a reason has its own stages and forms of manifestation. Psychiatrists distinguish three stages.

• The first, it is the most inconspicuous, hidden. With her, the jealous person is still only developing delusional ideas, at this stage he can still be convinced with arguments, albeit not for long.
• Second: obsessions appear, the arguments are no longer perceived. A desire to control a partner appears, but it still causes shame and embarrassment, gradually the jealous person loses control over his desires.
• Third: a person is completely sure that a partner is cheating on him. Aggression appears, the person becomes dangerous.

The forms of the disease are classified according to the degree and nature of the manifestation of symptoms.

• Manic - it is impossible to convince a jealous person, he firmly believes in the betrayal of a partner, is aggressive and inadequate. It is this form that most often becomes the reason for the murder of a partner.
• Depressive - a jealous person withdraws into himself, avoids communication with his spouse, tries to isolate himself from his partner at any cost.
• Spontaneous - a person "explodes" from any careless word or deed of a partner, bouts of jealousy recede as suddenly as they began.
• Alcoholic - Attacks of jealousy occur only in a state of alcoholic intoxication. At the same time, a person gradually begins to take alcohol on purpose in order to once again “suffer” and torment a partner, as he feels the need for these emotions.
• Paranoid - the form is sophisticated and very insidious. A person suffers from paranoia about the betrayal of a partner, he sets clever "traps" and adjusts situations in which the other half must "pierce", organizes surveillance.

Irrational jealousy is dangerous both for the one who is jealous and for the one who is jealous. Both are equally at risk of becoming a client of a psychiatric clinic. Other dangers include:

• the risk of suicide by one of the partners;
• beating and disabling one of the partners;
• murder;
• psychological trauma for children growing up in this family.

It is impossible to cope with such jealousy on your own, through a confidential conversation. It is a disease and must be treated by a qualified psychiatrist. After collecting an anamnesis and a system of tests, a specialist will establish the type and severity of the disorder and will help cure it with medications, hypnotherapy, NLP, the main thing is that the jealous person agrees to therapy. Practice shows that making a jealous person go to see a doctor is an almost impossible task.

Is there a way out? Of course have. The victim partner can stay close and at the same time behave in a verified manner: avoid situations that annoy the jealous person, not be late for home. Psychologists advise not to lie and not make excuses, this will only aggravate the conflict.

For information on how to get rid of jealousy and how to make your relationship happy, see the next video.