Jealous Wife: Reasons and Ways to Deal with Jealousy
The feeling of jealousy is inherent in all people, but some have learned to control their emotions, while others have not. Jealousy is an indicator of self-doubt, a desire to prove one's uniqueness. Very often, in a married couple, the wife plays the role of a jealous person, who may react inadequately not only to the spouse's communication with other women, but also to his communication with children from his first marriage.
Causes of occurrence
Most people consider mild jealousy to be an element of a happy relationship, as it proves the partners' affection and love. But the wife's unreasonable mistrust can lead to bouts of aggression, which will negatively affect family relationships.
Reasons why a woman wants to control her man.
- Self-doubt. Often appears in women who have not been able to get affection and care in childhood. The complexes acquired in their own family prevent them from completely trusting their partner. Such women constantly think that they can be easily replaced, and therefore they are trying with all their might to keep their loved one.
- Past infidelities. They make the wife more suspicious of her spouse, because he had earlier episodes of infidelity. The betrayal of a loved one leaves an indelible imprint, which ultimately leads to constant bouts of jealousy.
- A sense of ownership. Forces the lady to completely control the life of her husband. At the same time, she can be jealous of her husband not only of strangers, but also of colleagues, girlfriends and even her sister or mother-in-law.
- Dissatisfaction with love relationships. It leads to the fact that the wife begins to demand love and affection from her husband.Lack of attention makes her suspect her lover of infidelity, which in fact may not be.
- High social status of a spouse. Can make his wife constantly suspect him of infidelity. This happens, for example, if the wife is on maternity leave and the husband is actively pursuing a career.
- The playful nature of her husband. The habit of flirting with everyone and making unambiguous hints annoys the jealous woman. Moreover, such a model of behavior does not always indicate the promiscuity of the spouse. Sometimes he simply does not notice that he is saying too much to other women.
- The influence of society. Sometimes the subconscious of a young wife is influenced by work colleagues or girlfriends, who convince the lady of the infidelity of all men. Constant examples and stories about male infidelities sooner or later will make a woman jealous of her husband, constantly monitor and control him.
Groundless jealousy is not always the result of childhood trauma or social influence.
Drinking love can also provoke family scandals.
In alcoholic intoxication, a woman is able to be jealous of her husband not only for her best friend, but also for her own mother.
Second wife or jealousy of the past
Often, a jealous wife starts a conflict with her husband because he has children from a previous marriage. Some women believe that the spouse wants to spend more time not with his child, but with his ex-wife. It is this thought that most often does not allow the lady to relax and enjoy a love relationship.
A jealous woman may have a sense of ownership if her husband not only spends a lot of time with the baby, but also takes him on a joint vacation. Not every woman will be able to cope with such competition and become a friend to a child.
The biggest fear of any woman is the breakup of the relationship and the departure of the spouse to the ex-wife.
Therefore, any hint of any relationship between the beloved and the mother of his children is perceived by the lady as treason.
Relationships can be complicated by the husband's parents, who are capable of demonstratively showing love for their older grandchildren.
This is especially acute when the father-in-law begins to compare the children. Moreover, such actions are not necessarily aimed at infringing the younger grandchildren or express a claim against the second daughter-in-law regarding upbringing. Sometimes in this way the father-in-law is nostalgic, sharing warm memories with the daughter-in-law.
How to fight?
As modern psychology assures, women are more susceptible to jealousy than men. This is due to the prevailing opinion that the stronger sex is polygamous. To learn how to control emotions and suppress mistrust in a spouse, a wife should follow the advice of psychologists.
- Self-hypnosis. You need to learn to love yourself and stop comparing with other women. It is worth understanding that there will always be ladies who are distinguished by a more attractive appearance, sociability, showiness, and so on. It is necessary to constantly inspire yourself that your man will not find the best candidate for the role of wife. It is important to constantly remind yourself of your own positive qualities.
- Organization of joint leisure. A smart wife will find many ways to captivate her beloved man, so that he would prefer to spend his free time with his family, and not in the company of dubious personalities. To do this, the lady needs to study her husband's hobbies and try to become a companion for him. For example, if your spouse is an ardent football fan, you should learn the rules of this game and try to constantly keep abreast of the latest sports events.
- Participation in the life of a spouse. Many wives are not at all interested in the life of a beloved man, believing that the husband is able to cope with problems on his own. Such indifference can provoke a man to search for a woman who will support him in difficult moments.By creating a cozy home environment for your loved one and becoming for him not only a wife, but also a friend, you can increase the chances of maintaining marital fidelity.
- Self-development. No man wants to be next to an unkempt and notorious companion, he will prefer a spectacular and self-confident lady to her. Therefore, it is important for any married woman to pay sufficient attention to her own appearance. In addition, it is necessary to engage in self-development in order to demonstrate intellectual abilities to the spouse.
- Adoption. Every wife must accept the thought of a spouse's possible infidelity. It is necessary to understand that a husband's betrayal is not the end of life, and no control and jealousy can keep a man from temptation. Acceptance of such an outcome will help the lady to relate to marriage more easily and, instead of tormenting her partner with constant suspicions, will give her the opportunity to engage in personal affairs.
To wean his wife from unreasonable jealousy, the husband must also make some effort.
First of all, he must raise the self-esteem of his beloved. To do this, you need to constantly compliment your spouse, without fear of over praising her.
As soon as the spouse feels her own importance and uniqueness, the number of jealous scandals will decrease significantly.
A heart-to-heart conversation can help a jealous woman. The husband should try to understand the reasons for his wife's pathological jealousy and try to find ways to eliminate them. Such dialogues can open a man's eyes to his own behavior and help a woman release burdensome emotions.
A wise man, in response to the provocative behavior of his beloved, will try to smooth out the situation, but will not aggravate it in any way. Retaliatory aggression will not solve the problem, and avoiding the conflict will only add to the wife's confidence in the veracity of her suspicions. For the sake of preserving the family, it is important for a spouse to learn to restrain himself and not respond to offensive accusations.
Some psychologists advise husbands of jealous women to provide their life partners with the possibility of surveillance. Thus, you can prove the beloved openness and loyalty, which will help calm a suspicious lady.
In rare cases, a partner can seek help from a specialist. Consulting a psychotherapist will help you find the cause of the problem and ways to resolve it.
For information on how to deal with jealousy correctly, see the video.