How to stop comparing yourself to other people?
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People cannot live without comparisons. Some compare their achievements with those of great people, others compare their lives with the lives of classmates or friends. However, such activities are fraught with not very good consequences. By and large, when a person correlates his “I” with those who are nearby, he involuntarily succumbs to an envious mood. And envy causes melancholy, hopelessness and bad mood.
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Why is this happening?
There are no identical people in our life, and everyone lives in completely different ways. Man is a social being. Therefore, he has a habit of looking closely at his acquaintances: both distant and close. If he likes something in their behavior (or in their clothes), then the subject tries to take this direction. For example, your neighbor bought a new car. Looking at the car from the window, you also wanted to buy the same thing.
This situation occurs because we look around all the time and see different pictures. If we liked something, then we involuntarily reach for it. When a person reaches a certain level of living that he has been striving for for a long time, he feels very confident.
No wonder a neighbor with his new car arouses interest from people who live nearby. These people subconsciously want to be in the place of the lucky one sitting behind the wheel. They compare themselves to their neighbors and fantasize about it.
This is how various dreams arise. If dreams come true, then the individual becomes happier.
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For a dream to arise, it must be visualized. To do this, each person needs to see an example. Without an example, most people cannot fully realize their desires.
Comparison also helps keep your safety in check. When an anxious state sets in, a person involuntarily begins to look around and see how the surrounding people react to a particular situation. If they express calmness, the person also calms down.
However, comparison does not always work for the good. For example, when parents compare their child with other children and set them up as an example, this action is not beneficial. If you continue to do this, then the child will get used to copy the behavior of the people around him. As he grows up, the habit will work against him, as over time he will no longer understand himself. And this turn is fraught with obsessive states.
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When is it useful?
Comparing oneself with other people is a veiled notoriousness. Naturally, this manifestation of the human psyche will not lead to anything good. A person will gradually lose touch with himself and begin to live by someone else's rules.
There is some utility in comparison, however. When a person compares himself to a very successful and brilliant subject, he involuntarily begins to strive to master the same qualities that an idol possesses. If the subject goes in the right direction, then he can achieve great success.
You must put your soul into the goal you are striving for. And this means that you cannot just copy someone else's activity, but you need to bring your personal best practices into its implementation.
Your activity should not be governed by envy, but inspiration.
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How to get rid of?
Comparison can be likened to white envy. This can only be done when the person is acting productively. However, in other cases, ordinary envy sets in. In order not to experience it constantly, you need to rely on certain points.
Humble yourself
If you feel that you are inferior in many ways to those whom you consider to be better than yourself, try to accept this fact without regret. Just explain to yourself that each person has their own individual development path.
A person can suffer by comparing his personal qualities, achievements or wealth with the same components that another person has. He experiences mental suffering because he always compares his worst qualities with the best qualities of a person who at first glance seems to him to be the best.
Therefore, you need to understand: comparing yourself with someone else is a road to nowhere and a complete utopia. This direction leads to self-destruction. This means that you need to choose your own path of development. Start with simple steps.
- Try to get headlong into an activity that suits you and really enjoys it. Surely you have a profession. So improve your skills.
- Stop following a person or group of people you have an unhealthy interest in. This way you will stop pulling yourself into hopelessness and hopelessness. Pay attention to yourself.
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Reduce expectations
Do not set yourself impossible tasks and do not expect things to happen to you that will make your life original and very happy. To make it easier to fulfill this condition, rely on some points in your actions.
- Don't look around for someone to show you an example.
- Go your own way, which you can master.
- Do not make desires that will never come true. There is some kind of rivalry between the girls. Among them there is sure to be a person with long legs and a rather attractive appearance. If her not very pretty friend wants to get the same figure, then she will fail for obvious reasons. This means that a person with a not very attractive appearance needs to find another zest in herself. For example, become a stylish and athletic person.
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Set goals
If you want to develop correctly and ensure that other people look up to you, you need to set yourself a variety of tasks. Then you will have neither the time nor the desire to look around. For example, set the task to buy a house or a car and go towards this goal, despite the difficulties.
If you start saving money for a dream, then you will immerse yourself in work. As soon as your wish is fulfilled, other people will look at you with admiration.
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Watch yourself
This condition must be fulfilled by absolutely all people in the world. First of all, you need to monitor your health. Appearance also matters a lot for both men and women.
Make it your goal to be a beautiful and successful person. This condition cannot be met without a healthy lifestyle and positive thinking. Remember that your inner state has a very strong effect on your appearance. Therefore, control your mental activity and then you yourself can become an example for others.
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Think critically
Do not succumb to the general moods that reign in your society, but act according to your desires and logic. If all your acquaintances strive to rest all the time and do nothing, you, on the contrary, will engage in activities that will bring profit in the future.
Yes, it is quite difficult to accomplish. While your neighbor Vasya is resting at the resort, you will immerse yourself in work. It's hard to be different from everyone else. Over time, however, you will realize that you are moving in the right direction.
When this happens, then your friends will begin to look up to you.
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Psychological advice
You can learn not to compare your life with the lives of other people.
- Stop regretting lost opportunities all the time. For example, do not say to yourself: "Now, if we had thought of this before, then today we would live like the Ivanovs." Instead, think about your future.
- Social media is a place where people flaunt even what they don't really have and never had. For example: one member of the group posted a photo of a vacation at the sea, another - a photo of a new car, the third - a photo of an apartment. Another subject looked at the beautiful pictures and involuntarily compared his life with that of a successful person, after which he fell into depression. Moreover, the subject, who has seen enough of a beautiful life, does not even realize that the picture with the rest at sea, as well as other pictures, were downloaded from the Internet. The takeaway is: Give up virtual reality.
- Think about what is happening in your life here and now. Then you can find a common language with your inner state and stop looking around.
- Stop being jealous. Envy is a very bad ally. If you want to get rid of such a habit, then stop yourself in time. For example, your friend bought a fur coat. Instead of getting upset about it, you also go to the store and buy yourself something. Let it not be so expensive, but it will be able to please you. And then you can set a goal: to save up for a fur coat and buy it next year.
Believe me, by such actions you will save your state of mind from shocks and will be able to distract your consciousness from bad thoughts.
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