How to improve self-esteem?
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A person with low self-esteem cannot feel confident and calm. This is because he is living and looking back all the time. In addition, he often asks himself something like this: "Did I do the right thing now?" Doubt drives an insecure person to despair. Therefore, in my soul sheer disappointment reigns. It is necessary to get rid of such a state immediately. Otherwise, negative consequences may occur.
Signs and causes of low self-esteem
What is self-esteem? This is a certain element of self-awareness. With the help of these factors, the individual has the opportunity to evaluate and look at himself from the outside. Self-esteem can be overestimated, underestimated, just low or average. Psychologists and the science of psychology itself argue that all human problems associated with a state of mind come from childhood. Thus, his future self-esteem directly depends on the upbringing and attitude of the parents to the child.
For example, if a child was mistreated and humiliated all the time as a child, his self-esteem is likely to be severely underestimated. Conversely, a person with high self-esteem is likely to have been pampered and cherished as a child.
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Very low self-esteem is detrimental to anyone. It interferes with his full life and development. So, let's consider the main signs that indicate that a person's self-esteem is underestimated.
- When an individual treats himself badly, his poses look constrained and pinched.... For example, the gait becomes hasty, and the figure has a hunched shape. In addition, such an individual has an uncertain speech.Therefore, when talking with others, a person is nervous, does not look into the eyes and tries to give out information about himself as little as possible.
- An unkempt appearance also often betrays a person who considers himself an insecure person. Such people try not to attract attention to themselves. Therefore, women try to do without makeup, and men wear shabby clothes.
- Insecure people try to please everyone... They do not make remarks to others if they do not like something in their behavior. They do not have enemies, however, as well as friends.
- People with low self-esteem always present themselves as a victim. Therefore, those around them very often mock, humiliate and insult them. All this happens because an insecure person cannot give a worthy rebuff to the enemy.
- Insecure people try not to take responsibility for making important decisions. Many of them do not live for themselves, but for others. From this, their life becomes gray and uninteresting. Various mental problems are the result of this behavior.
- Reliability is another disadvantage of an insecure person. Often such people please others to their detriment.
- Anxiety of thoughts haunts, therefore a person with low self-esteem is always on edge... Fear and self-doubt haunt the individual everywhere.
- When a person suffers from an inferiority complex, they may express insecurity through phrases like this.: "It is quite possible", "It is unlikely that anything will work out", "I have no confidence", etc.
- People who feel insecure are almost always in a bad mood, as they constantly think about the shortcomings of both those around them and their own. They scold themselves and blame everyone around them for their failures. This behavior can be overcome when a person himself wants to free himself from the burden of everyday negative emotions.
- Perfectionism is very dangerous. It is he who is present in the behavior of those who are not confident in their abilities. Striving to always be better than others can be ruinous. Therefore, it is necessary to get rid of the excessive desire to restore order in all areas in time. Otherwise, this behavior will consume you.
- Lack of communication is another sign of low self-esteem. A person cannot overcome himself and make contact with strangers.
- An individual who is afraid to take risks or has feelings of guilt towards others, almost always suffers from low self-esteem.
- Taking initiative for people who are insecure is always a very big problem.
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It should be borne in mind that signs of low self-esteem can manifest themselves at any age. And low self-esteem can arise for certain reasons. Let's take a look at some of them.
- The man did not have a very happy childhood. He was bullied all the time by his peers. Some insecure people became insecure because they had problems and misunderstandings with teachers or mentors.
- An unsuccessful relationship... When a guy or a girl has experienced unrequited love.
- Bad marriage where one of the spouses cheated or dominated, as a result of which the family broke up.
- Constant problems at work... For example, an employee has an overly demanding boss who is used to putting subordinates in front of a choice or loading them with completely impossible tasks.
- Professional incompetence that led to the tragedy.
- Dissatisfaction with the appearance.
- Problems in intimate life.
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How to develop?
The person who forms his character is the creator of life. There are general ways to build self-confidence and peace of mind. Let's consider them.
- Make a plan for how you will change. These actions will help you raise the bar and give your life meaning.
- Let your surroundings become positive. It is difficult to make a mental correction when there are negative people around you.
- Don't criticize yourself.
- Be persistent and even some stubbornness.
Now let's look at the moments that will help you gain confidence in your abilities.
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Woman
Those of the fair sex who are afraid of criticism and cannot adequately accept compliments suffer from low self-esteem. Such a person becomes a victim and cannot see the world around her in all colors. However, many of women do not realize that all their failures and depressive states are associated with self-doubt.
Some, having suffered setbacks, put up with them and do not try to get rid of their own female unfavorable attitudes. Other, more advanced women, on the contrary, value themselves very much, say: "I am alone at my place." This is the right approach to bring yourself back to normal. And the next step is to get rid of uncertainty with the help of some rules.
- To believe in yourself, you need to get rid of the environment of those people who drag you to the bottom. With such communication, your self-esteem decreases, since you cannot adequately assess the situation and make the necessary comparisons.
- Love is a feeling that makes it possible to live... So love yourself first. Remember that no one will do this for you. And in order not to be unfounded, do the following exercise every day. Go to the mirror, look carefully at your reflection. Say, "I love you." And try to fix this statement in your mind.
- Give yourself a positive attitude. Just don't be unfounded. For example, if you told yourself that you are a very attractive person, then follow this statement. Visit a hairdresser and even a stylist. Let your appearance change for the better beyond recognition. As soon as you feel admiring glances, you will begin to treat yourself differently.
- You should not save on your beloved. A real woman, even with a very modest budget, can dispose of it in such a way that there is enough money for food and clothes.
For example, let's say you want to buy a new dress this month. However, the finished product is quite expensive. There is always a way out. You can get pretty fabric and make a fashionable dress. Yes, this requires only skill and ingenuity.
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Man
Do not think that low self-esteem is not characteristic of the stronger sex. Among men, there are also those who are even ashamed to make contact with a woman. Therefore, they feel like failures. It is necessary to get rid of such complexes in time. Otherwise, they will lead to serious consequences. And some tips will help you to become confident.
- A man must be smart. Therefore, first of all, you need to do self-development. To do this, you can start attending various trainings and lectures. Special knowledge will help in the future to organize your business and be independent.
- The next stage is the acquisition of professionalism in any business. To do this, you need to completely immerse yourself in the process. For example, you can become a good musician, singer, or business analyst. Then no specific event will do without your participation.
- Exercise can also help boost self-esteem. A man who has built up muscles with the help of special exercises always attracts the attention of others. However, simple jogging in the morning will also significantly improve your mood, and thus your consciousness will be rebuilt to a positive.
- Try to be a great friend or family man... Then you will have a chance to show your best qualities to your loved ones. Thus, you will gain confidence and understand what people need.
- Reconsider your priorities. Perhaps you are on the wrong path, and it bothers you a lot. For example, you want to get a certain position by all means, but you can't.This is all due to the fact that your boss gives preference to those people who curry favor with him. In this case, you should not waste time on empty expectations, but find another job where you can achieve your goal.
However, in order to achieve success in any business, you also need to have a very strong desire and a certain desire. A real man will do everything possible and be able to move to a new level of development.
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Effective techniques
There are many ways that you can improve your self-esteem. First of all, a person who wants to remedy the situation must monitor their words and phrases. He should also try to behave confidently, despite the fact that it is very difficult for him. Gradually, he will get used to this behavior, and his psychological flaws will begin to disappear.
Besides, there are a large number of ways that also contribute to the rapid recovery of self-esteem... For example, auto-training will help you to believe in yourself. Such activities will take a little time, but the effect will be persistent. Besides, there are other ways. Let's consider them in more detail.
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Affirmations
This method is quite simple and anyone can use it. The main thing is that you have enough patience and time. In addition, many people note that people use affirmations to lift their spirits and to increase self-confidence.
What needs to be done for this. First, come up with a phrase that will help you. For example, it can be like this: "I am a strong person." Then find a room where you will be doing affirmations. The room should be quiet. It should not contain animals and people. And then proceed according to a specific algorithm.
- Sit comfortably in front of a mirror.
- Take a close look at your appearance. Then look yourself in the eye. Sit like this for one minute.
- Then inhale deeply and begin to pronounce the prepared phrase. It can be like this: "I am beautiful (a), smart (s), everyone looks at me with admiration."
- Repeat this phrase exactly as many times as you see fit. However, remember: the longer and more often you say the phrase, the faster you will achieve the result.
You may be wondering, "How do affirmations work?" Very simple. If you do classes at the same time and regularly, then your brain will gradually overflow from the information imposed on it. Further, your mind, in order to "unload", will connect with the Cosmos. The universe will thus hear your mood and help you achieve your goal. You will definitely get what you want.
The following information will help you understand all the intricacies of this technique.
- Remember that all phrases must be affirmative. You cannot say: "I will become a strong personality." You need to say "I am a strong personality."
- Pronounce phrases with expression and be sure to believe in what you say. If there is no faith, then nothing will come of it.
- Do not hurry. These exercises are designed to develop the situation, so the effect may come only after a while.
- Be patient and remember that doing affirmations requires careful approach and regularity.
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Exercises
If you really want to become a confident person, then try to reach the goal on your own. Remember that no specialist will help if you do not want to help yourself. Consider several exercises, and then you can choose the most suitable one.
- Be sure to be honest with yourself. A person often does not want or cannot perceive some parts of his personality objectively. Therefore, write down on separate sheets of paper all your sides that you consider weak and unworthy of you. Then, on a separate sheet of paper, write the aspects of your character that you consider strong and worthy of attention. Next, consider each point of both strengths and weaknesses. Now think about which side is the most disgusting for you.Tear this piece of paper and give yourself your word that you will drop this item forever. For example, you think you are very gullible. Try to convince yourself that you will no longer trust people without good reason. And if you decide to make a choice in favor of trust, then be sure to first check what they say to you, and only then make a decision. Now think about the points that you would like to keep and develop in your character. For example, you are very curious. Think about how you will proceed further. Perhaps you will go on a trip or be interested in studying some kind of science. At the end of the exercise, write a message to yourself. In this case, you can not restrain your emotions. If you want to cry, then cry; if something in your character touches you, be moved. Afterwards, re-read your message from time to time and try to stick to the promises you made to yourself.
- Describe on paper when you have helped other people get out of a difficult situation. For example, you helped a friend overcome an illness and were always there when she needed help. Perhaps you were able to dissuade the person from committing suicide. There can be many examples, since every normal person has done something useful and good at least once in his life. If you are helping animals, then this paragraph will also be a great example of your virtue. Next, you should re-read what you have written. Again, remember every little thing and think that you are a worthy person.
- Recall the most difficult situations that happened in your life. Scroll again your actions aimed at correcting a difficult situation. Perhaps, on difficult days, you were smart and put all your knowledge into practice. If you come out of a bad story with dignity, then you can praise yourself and be proud of your successes.
You must explain to yourself that you are not a weak person. On the contrary, all your merits indicate that you are a rather extraordinary and strong person.
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Psychologist's advice
To raise self-esteem, you need, in addition to exercises and various trainings, to deal with those aspects of your life that every day affect the development of your behavior. To fulfill this condition, psychologists advise relying on some recommendations.
- You just need to not be afraid of people.... After all, what will the person who stops talking or asking you do to you? Stay in touch with others using tricks. Diverse communication with people will help build self-confidence.
- If you have experienced unrequited love, do not despair.... Remember that after breaking up with one person, there will be a new meeting. And why did you decide that it will no longer become fateful?
- Treat yourself with love and attention.... Begin to respect yourself and accept all your sides without judgment. Remember that no one is perfect on this earth. This means that no one has the right to condemn you.
- A beautiful image will also help to correct the situation with low self-esteem. Look at the stars. Many of them did not have such an attractive appearance before as they do now. This means that you, too, can change yourself if you do not like something in your appearance. For example, try extending your eyelashes or going to a fitness center. There can be many options, the main thing is to choose the most suitable one.
- A smile always evokes positive emotions. Fighting a bad mood, and hence low self-esteem, will help a friendly attitude towards people around you. With the help of positive, you can not only cope with fatigue, but also start to act in the right direction, namely: make the right decisions on time, which will later allow you to believe in yourself.
- Constantly expand your social circle. Thus, you will always be in the center of events and will be able to learn the news firsthand.Your rating among the people around you will be restored, and along with it you will feel a surge of strength for new achievements.
- Try to only do things that you really enjoy. If you are tired of monotonous work, find yourself one that allows you to always be in motion. After which the depressive state will become a thing of the past, and you will begin to live and understand what people need.
Set goals and be sure to achieve them.
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