How to ignore the negative in your direction?
People often face self-hostility. This happens for various reasons. Some of them are to blame for this themselves, and someone suffers completely innocently. In any case, each person should be able to stand up for themselves. However, few know how to do it correctly. To get an idea of how to get out of a bad story, read the information below.
What is negative?
Insults and accusations, I think, have experienced each person at least once in his life. All people have a different character, which means that they treat the negative in their address differently. To understand this issue in detail, it is necessary to take into account that a person can receive a bad attitude towards himself for completely objective reasons, or, conversely, undeservedly. When there is a negative attack in your direction, you need to understand the reasons for its occurrence. Therefore, you need to analyze your actions that led to the conflict, and only then draw conclusions. Depending on what they are, take action.
If the criticism against you was unfounded, then you should do this:
- not to be irritated and not to make trouble;
- try to agree with criticism and put everything on the shelves;
- if you are wrong about something, turn the conversation into a constructive track and correct the mistakes that have arisen through your fault.
If your opponent attacks you unreasonably, then try to act like this:
- not express violent emotions and try to treat with humor the claims of inadequacy;
- if you have to defend yourself, then give such arguments that will reveal the weaknesses of your opponent;
- if nothing can be done, then just disagree with the accusations and say: "I consider myself right."
What shouldn't be done?
When a controversial situation arises, the person who is accused of something begins to lose control of himself. This happens primarily when attacks from the enemy are unreasonable.
And here it is important to keep your mental state in your hands. Conflicts can arise out of the blue. They happen both at work and at home. Let's consider the situations in more detail.
- Most often, discord occurs in everyday life. Nagging neighbors can annoy you literally every day. If they are justified, then correct the situation. For example, you listen to music too loudly after 12 o'clock in the morning. Stop doing this and everything will fall into place.
- If a strife arose out of the blue, then do not pay attention to the negative in your direction. Do not react to offensive words addressed to you. However, negativity can also come from close people. In this case, you should not react violently to criticism, but on the contrary, it is better to try to reassure your relative with a kind word. Remember that in most cases, close people annoy not out of malice, but from the fact that they are not given due attention.
- If a quarrel arose on the street with a stranger, then you should not inflate the conflict and waste your time on negative people. If you give in and walk away from the bad story, you will save your nerves and health.
- If the negative comes from colleagues, then one should not expand the conflict situation to unimaginable proportions.
And if you can't get away from the argument or you don't want to give up your positions, then reduce to a minimum the time of communication with a quarrelsome colleague.
Work on yourself
Try to use techniques more often to stabilize your inner self.
Determining the Impact of Empathy
There are people who constantly empathize with others. This is a very good trait when it comes to such a quality as "humanity". However, for the most empathic person, such a character trait can lead to personal problems. If you constantly empathize with other people, then they will begin to take advantage of your location unnecessarily. However, it must be remembered that without empathy, a person becomes callous and does not see anything or anyone around him. This means that he begins to make mistakes in his actions. And such a factor can cause conflict situations.
Means, you need to maintain a certain balance and try to treat people the way you treat yourself. "Try on" situations in which you involuntarily involve your colleagues or acquaintances. Then you do not have to listen to reproaches in your address.
Identifying the source of concern
If a person's soul is restless, then his life ceases to be full. This means that you need to identify those moments that irritate you. For example, a neighbor is constantly littering near your door, and this throws you off balance. However, you do not reprimand your neighbor, but take out the irritation on your loved ones.
You can't do that. It is necessary to eliminate the irritant, namely, to get from the neighbor so that he begins to behave correctly. Then you will feel relieved and gain confidence and self-respect. Your inner state will improve.
Detachment from negativity
Learn to ignore the attacks on you. The best way is to disconnect. Whenever you hear something bad, try to imagine a wall that separates you and your opponent. It should be very dense and no sound should pass through it.
If you do everything right, then you will stop hearing what is being told to you. And then remember a nice melody and scroll it in your head.
Concentrating on breathing
With the help of breathing, you can stabilize your mental state. If there is a conflict situation, try to breathe in a 4x4x4 pattern. Inhale air and count to 4.Hold the air for a count of 4, and then exhale it for a count of 4.
Emotional overload management
The internal state can be learned to manage. If you react violently to the opinions of others or to other attacks, then stop doing this, as this will not lead to anything good. To do this, program yourself for these actions. For example, if you hear something bad about you, imagine a STOP road sign and switch your thoughts to positive memories.
Effective techniques
It is possible and even necessary to stop reacting emotionally to everything that is happening around you. Various techniques will help you learn this.
Keeping communication to a minimum
If you react badly to a person or he just annoys you, then minimize communication with him. And if this is not always possible, then before and after the meeting, do a series of calming exercises, for example, you can use the breathing exercise.
A friend who annoys you with nagging does not have to be rude, but you can simply say that you are very busy with something and will not be free soon. Perhaps, tired of waiting for a meeting with you, the friend will forget about your existence.
Contacts strictly on the case
There are people who get an energy boost from the fact that they constantly bring other people to a nervous breakdown. For example, you have a boss who calls his subordinates “on the carpet” and chastises them for no particular reason. In this case, you need to either quit your job, or make sure that such executions are carried out with you as rarely as possible. To do this, do your job to an impeccable level.
Reports and various documents can be sent through the assistant or by mail. Try to exclude direct contacts. And if you still have to sometimes attend business meetings, then behave in such a way that your boss has as few questions as possible for you.
To do this, think in advance about what you will say and do. It is also worth considering the answers to questions that may arise during this meeting.
Exclusion of disputes
Some people, in principle, do not like to argue and prove something to someone. Others, on the contrary, are just waiting to argue about something with someone. In a dispute, truth is born, but in most cases, disputes lead to conflict situations. For example, two friends are constantly discussing which team will win the match and which will lose. If one of them has an explosive character, then in this case the disputants can reach a serious quarrel and even a fight. This means that if you do not want strife, exclude conflicting situations.
Try to anticipate your actions and the actions of your opponents in advance if you feel that the problem that has arisen is rather sensitive. For example, your friend needs cash assistance and you offered it. The proverb says: "If you want to lose a friend, borrow him money." A very wise saying warns that the money borrowing plot is rather delicate.
Therefore, in this case, be sure to discuss the terms of the loan. Otherwise, a loved one may think that you have a lot of income and decide not to repay the debt at all. You will not like this turn of events, and you will start making claims. You will end up being accused of being greedy. A wise person always plans his future actions in order to avoid quarrels with anyone. And it is right. You need to imagine what you want to get in the end.
In addition, you need to be able to competently convey your thoughts to those people who are related to you.