How to deal with self-doubt?

Many people have doubts when making big decisions. For some, the feeling of constant indecision becomes a real problem. Fear and self-doubt are false defensive reactions. They do not appear at the will of the individual, but they can be dealt with.

A person can overcome fear, overcome difficulties and obstacles on the way thanks to hard work on himself. An insecure person is often betrayed by a tremor in his voice, perspiration on the forehead, a rush of heat to the face. In psychology, the main signs of the behavior of indecisive people are described:

• stiffness when dealing with unfamiliar people, shyness;
• fear of expressing one's own opinion to the interlocutor for fear of hurting his feelings;
• an urgent need to support others when making an important decision;
• painful perception of criticism;
• inability to reject the request of other people;
• willingness to understate the cost of their services;
• susceptibility to shyness when mentioning their own desires.

The situation can be rectified with the help of scrupulous introspection and the search for the reasons for the loss of faith in one's own strength. Very often, inferiority complexes begin to emerge in early childhood. This life period is characterized by the formation of the perception of oneself. Self-esteem is influenced by praise, punishment, and rejection. The reasons can be endless prohibitions, intimidation, condemnation and rejection of some actions or feelings of the child.

Some parents scold the kid for any mistakes and inept actions he made. In this way, they put into the child's head the idea that a little man should know everything and be able to, think quickly and not make any mistakes. As a result, with any failure, he experiences severe discomfort. Subsequently, the growing subject is afraid of being rejected by others in the same way as he was once rejected by his parents for insufficiently good singing, inability to dance or poor knowledge of a foreign language.

Sometimes the child is constantly being told about the unworthiness or shamefulness of his actions, emphasizing that this should not be done. The baby develops a feeling of his own inferiority, there is an unconscious fear of any independent actions. It is often difficult for orphans to find a worthy role model and develop the necessary qualities in themselves. Such individuals prefer to hide behind failures, without making attempts to find themselves.

Excessive parenting can also destroy healthy self-esteem. There are parents who control every step of their child. The little man is convinced that he knows nothing and does not know how, therefore, he is not capable of anything without the help of adults. For the baby, everything is decided and done by the mother and father. And the child should be allowed to make mistakes and learn to make independent decisions.

The cause of indecision can be character traits. There are people who follow their fears. The appearance of any obstacle that has arisen in the path of the undertaken event stops the subject. And he most often abandons the intended goal. Unwillingness to look for a way out of this situation indicates a lack of faith in the possibility of implementing plans or dreams.

In a more mature age, a person may be exposed to negative factors that reduce self-esteem. For example, the second half begins to endlessly criticize all the actions of his chosen one or chosen one. The words of loved ones always leave the most serious wounds on the heart. Opinion dependence is often a source of fear and timidity.

An unnecessary dramatization of events can serve to generate anxiety and the development of uncertainty. In this case, dismissal from work, divorce or any other nuisance in life is equated to a disaster. Personal wealth immediately drops. Such situations should be taken as a springboard to new achievements. Only such an approach helps to cope with the feeling of uselessness and helplessness.

In addition to psychological factors, social, religious, ethnic reasons can arise. Sometimes the source of the appearance of complexes is a person's sexual orientation. Discrimination against persons belonging to sexual minorities creates a sense of vulnerability and inferiority.

To combat complexes, cognitive-behavioral therapy and group exercises are used. First, a psychologist or psychotherapist assesses the scale of the problem, identifies the deep-rooted attitudes that prevent the acquisition of internal balance. Then the specialist selects the appropriate technique to rectify the situation. In addition, in order to gain peace of mind, a person is recommended to perform physical exercises that are needed to increase body tone and develop the ability to cope with increased stress.

Group lessons contribute to the emergence of new and interesting acquaintances. Each member of the group is trained in communication and the ability to open up to society.

All methods of dealing with low self-esteem necessarily include working on negative thinking, replacing negative concepts with positive ideas. Experts recommend conducting auto-training at home and engaging in a frank dialogue with yourself. Self-training involves making a list of desirable positive qualities. A timid person is advised to repeat aloud from this list the traits that he wants to possess every day.

There are many effective techniques that help indecisive people overcome their inner fears and gain firmness and steadfastness. You can become bolder and more confident in yourself using a number of simple methods.

1. Gradual loading method implies gradual getting rid of indecision. For example, with the existing fear of public speaking, you need to start working on yourself by attending small events. There you can hone your speech skills. Start by telling funny stories, laugh with everyone at the jokes. Step-by-step overcoming of their complexes allows you to remove forever the fear of making a speech in front of a large audience.
2. In the fight against insecurity, the use of the method of spontaneous actions helps. It is necessary to plan events, but literally every word is not worth scrolling through your head. This behavior gives rise to stiffness of the speech apparatus and stiffness in actions. The result is the gradual formation of complexes and phobias. It is best to distract yourself from this topic after carefully considering the plan of the event. Spontaneous phrases that come from the depths of the soul usually sound more convincing than elaborate statements.
3. You can solve the problem with the relaxation method. The inner calmness of a person is influenced by the state of mind and body. An agitated and agitated mind creates tension in the body. A relaxed body calms the mind. Maintaining the initial relaxation of the body through breathing exercises helps to overcome fears and indecision.
4. One of the most effective ways to eliminate insecurity and unnecessary fears is the awareness method. For example, in ancient times, people experienced horror due to some natural phenomena. So, lightning was perceived by the people as a heavenly punishment. As a detailed study of the electric discharge in the atmosphere, mankind began to understand this phenomenon, so now it does not frighten people. In the professional field, experience and acquired knowledge give a person confidence.
5. Analysis method oneself allows one to reveal one's illusions, to reveal some internal problems. Often, developed inferiority complexes are the result of their own thinking.

In addition, experts recommend using the following exercises to combat your complexions and various fears.

The task involves the mental reproduction of their fears. You need to give free rein to your own imagination. You need to fantasize until the mental pictures begin to delight you. Soon, you will feel inspiration from the situation you have drawn, which previously caused fear and self-doubt.

There is no need to complicate your outlook on life; it is better to react to failure with humor. You can make a funny face and say in a playful tone: "The mistake came out." In this case, you need to spread your arms to the sides, then cross them on your chest, gently hugging yourself by the shoulders. Performing this simple exercise saves you from self-criticism and feelings of aggression. And fate will certainly provide a chance to rectify the situation.

During anger, the person feels a surge of anger and often tries to suppress it. In fact, this particular emotion of surging energy provokes a certain action. Anger is a resourceful condition that must be used properly. It is recommended to retire, take a notebook and record the events that knocked you out of balance in it.

It is very important to find what you love and develop your skills and abilities in it. Try to acquire a specialty you like. Expand your horizons, strive for excellence. You should not count on influential relatives, friends, or a chance of fate.

One must always preserve the freedom of reason and form the originality of thinking. Constant self-development and improvement of professional knowledge gives a person confidence in his own abilities. Possession of a huge amount of information helps the employee not to be afraid of anything. A conscientious employee is not afraid of being judged by the employer or the customer.

Many people feel the excitement before meeting their boss. At such moments, it is necessary to gain a state of inner confidence. You can influence your emotions with your body. To do this, you need to straighten your shoulders, raise your chin, while keeping your back straight. After that, you can safely go “on the carpet”.

Don't worry about negative reactions from your leadership. Think about whether you need an employer who can easily change his disposition towards a subordinate over a trifle. Do not attach great importance to either your job or your salary, then all your worries will disappear immediately.

Many workers are intimidated by new tasks. They begin to feel that they will not cope with them in the right way, and because of this, colleagues will judge them. It is necessary to master the ability to take responsibility for oneself. In no case should you engage in self-flagellation. It takes away the strength. As soon as you begin to notice that you are mentally berating yourself, stop immediately. It is necessary to suppress any attempts to accuse oneself.

It is necessary to stop reacting sharply to criticism of others, their ridicule, anger and envy. These feelings are their problem, and they have nothing to do with you. You should develop a stable habit of treating any event with love and full acceptance. Motivational literature, the study of the biography of successful people allows an insecure person to develop courage and overcome obstacles on the way to success.

Experts recommend paying attention to your own beliefs and attitudes. Then you need to remember your specific achievements that deserve respect. Praise yourself even for small victories. Do not scold yourself for failures and weaknesses. Set only clear goals for yourself.

Each individual needs the recognition of the society around him. Praise allows a person to feel social acceptance. Any criticism leads to a decrease in self-esteem, a feeling of uselessness.

Uncertainty arises from lack of faith in yourself and your strength. Don't completely trust other people's opinions. This is wrong, because any criticism is subjective. Many are unable to understand themselves, and even more so in your thoughts and actions.

Don't focus on worrying thoughts. It is necessary to draw the appropriate conclusions, and then stop thinking about an unpleasant situation. Get it out of your head. You have the right to make a mistake. Treat your failures as positive experiences.

Don't be afraid to express your emotions, desires, and demands. Remain calm and cool under all circumstances.Believe in your own strength. Psychologists advise recording experiences in the opposite sense. Negative thoughts should be transformed into positive affirmations and recorded on a piece of paper. After that, the attitude towards oneself usually changes, and the fear remains in the past.

Never be afraid to offend another person. Keep yourself within the bounds of decency, respect your own and others' interests, observe certain boundaries.

There are many people who are afraid to give birth to a child for fear of not being able to raise him correctly. Such subjects need communication with any babies. These can be children of friends or relatives. Imagine that this is your child. Turn on your imagination and think over to the smallest detail your behavior with it. The phobia will gradually recede.

Any person is able to foster self-confidence in his child if he shows respect for his mental attitude, gives unconditional love, and helps him feel his own worth through the development of independence. There is no need to protect your child from making mistakes. A person must learn from childhood that any defeat is an experience that will serve as a positive lesson in the future life.

Uncertainty takes root at an unconscious level. In the classroom, such a child feels anxiety, depression, helplessness and powerlessness. The attention of babies should be focused on their merits. This contributes to the formation of a positive image of your "I".