How can a woman increase her self-esteem?
Some women do not quite objectively assess their own qualities and abilities, downplaying their importance. This happens when the sense of self-esteem decreases.
Signs of low self-esteem
In psychology, self-esteem is the translation into the outside world of a set of beliefs about oneself. Some women have an underestimated opinion about their external data, mental abilities, and various actions. Low self-esteem can be determined by the character and behavior of a woman. Experts identify the following signs of a reduced perception of their own person:
- excessive criticism of one's appearance;
- inability to take responsibility for oneself;
- dissatisfaction with their surroundings;
- the constant role of the victim;
- fear of making a decision;
- inability to make adequate choices;
- inability to take male attention and outside help;
- fear of communication with men;
- inability to calmly accept gifts and compliments;
- consent to a relationship with any man, the first of the stronger sex to offer them;
- reliability, fear of inadvertently scaring off a partner;
- self-pity, a sense of their own uselessness;
- painful perception of criticism and opinions of others;
- treating yourself as an unhappy person;
- the ability to see solid competitors in other women;
- inability to say about their desires, and often a complete rejection of them;
- fear of dreaming, planning and setting goals;
- passivity, dependence and suggestibility;
- feeling of loneliness.
Reasons for poor self-perception
Cause may be stuck in my own childhood. Some mothers over-control and overprotect their children. Sometimes parents cannot give much love to their own child. The kid is offended, treat him without due respect, thereby devalue his thoughts and feelings. The child lacks support, praise, so in adulthood, resentment towards the mother and father may remain. You need to know how to leave childhood in the past.
Live in the present day. Do not build up childhood grievances or cherish the bitterness of memories. It is inappropriate to blame all of your failures on your parents for their parenting methods. Were they taught the correct pedagogical techniques? They might not know how to act so as not to harm your psyche. It's time for you to take responsibility for your happiness into your own hands.
Envy has a huge impact on the formation of self-perception. It often has its origins in early childhood. At first, they envied the neighbor's child because of the unusual toy he had, then envy arose for the excellent marks of a friend and, finally, for the cool car of a colleague. And envy is a destructive feeling. It has a strong effect on self-esteem, significantly lowering it.
Of no small importance is experience of relationships with the opposite sex. Sometimes, instead of a loving and caring partner, there is a person who humiliates and insults his soul mate. And the lady is ready to endure his antics and meekly endure the mental pain. In this case there is no need to be afraid to change the situation in any way.
Sometimes self-esteem drops dramatically in women over the age of 40. There is a fear of looking like an aging and less attractive lady in the eyes of a man. This happens especially often if she feels her husband's inattention to herself. The woman understands that discord is brewing in the relationship. There is a saying among the people: "A gray hair in a beard is a devil in a rib". A man's midlife crisis can affect his life partner's lower self-esteem. After parting with her husband, she begins to worry very much, to have complexes, she becomes disappointed in herself.
Some women are highly dependent on public opinion. Society imposes on them its standards of beauty and success. The girl begins to be tormented because of her appearance and the events taking place in her life. There is self-doubt, self-dislike. The soul is gradually emptied. This invariably leads to melancholic mood and depression. It is difficult for an anxious girl to achieve high self-esteem. She constantly looks for negative events and information in the environment, worries about a hypothetical threat and danger. The opinion and assessment of a stranger often plays a decisive role for her.
Often, negative experiences lead to poor self-perception. A woman after a divorce loses self-confidence. She begins to dig herself, trying to understand what is wrong with her. The lady fantasizes what could have happened if she had acted differently.
Endless thoughts that something was wrong in her relationship with her husband through her fault do not allow the abandoned woman to live in full force.
Solution
A very important point is eradication of dependence on other people's opinions. You need to mentally fight unconstructive criticism addressed to you. You must immediately erase it from memory and in no case should you dwell on it. What people say is their subjective opinion. These assessments are full of guesses and projections.
But constructive criticism should not offend you, as it includes deep knowledge of the subject and impartiality. This opinion should be heeded. Indeed, it is often painful to hear valuable statements, but it is they that allow the lady to change something in her actions and become more self-confident.
Lack of self-respect hinders success in any industry. The lady is ready to get a low-paying job. Fear of not coping leads her to refuse to climb the career ladder. She is afraid to express her opinion once again. Hides his true tastes and beliefs. Women who are unable to assess themselves adequately are rarely happy in family life.
It can be very difficult to correct your own insecurity. To combat it, experts recommend constantly looking for confirmation that you are beautiful, smart and talented. Try to remember happy moments when someone told you that you were nice or beautiful. Maybe you heard similar words in childhood from your loving grandmother, father, classmate or neighbor's boy. Find confirmation of these phrases now in the meaningful glances of passers-by, the courtesy of colleagues and personal contacts with loved ones.
Psychologists believe that a girl is able to raise self-confidence by shifting the focus of her attention. She should devalue negative statements and magnify positive points. Boosting a woman's self-esteem can help work on your appearance. Women's self-sufficiency is based on attention, love and respect for others, caring for other people.
This is not an innate personality trait. It needs to be developed.
There are a number of actions that need to be taken to address the current problem of lowered self-esteem.
Change of environment
Hot spots such as nightlife venues and bars do not increase self-esteem, because there you have to while away the time with individuals who are accustomed to debauchery, excitement and violence. We need to look for a positive society. Among acquaintances, sensible reasoning and moving towards a successful life, it is impossible to remain a self-respecting person. You can meet such people in sports clubs, museums, theaters, thematic lectures, concerts and other cultural institutions.
Individuals with low self-esteem often try to increase it by humiliating and insulting another person. This is their defensive reaction. There is no place for such types in your environment. Look for people who love their job.
Spiritual and moral development
You need to reconsider your views, correctly prioritize, define clear goals. As spirituality and morality grow, life gradually changes, because a correct understanding of many things comes and a revision of some life positions occurs.
An important point is increasing self-esteem. You need to learn to respect yourself. A girl with healthy self-esteem always treats herself and other people with respect. Start caring for your parents, husband, children, girlfriends, friends. Fill their lives with happiness and love.
Selflessness develops a person spiritually, because self-respect appears and satisfaction with one's actions is born.
Realization of feminine nature
A lady endowed with kindness, chastity, caring, has no time to fall into melancholy and depression. Respect for the stronger sex, pure thoughts contribute to the onset of complete satisfaction and female happiness. Use your modesty and shyness in moderation. It is not necessary to completely drown out these natural traits in yourself. Learn to use them correctly. Men quickly lose interest in cheeky and shameless ladies. Modesty adorns a girl.
In relationships with men, you must always set clear boundaries. Shyness should be alternated with severity. The impudent behavior of a man should push the young lady to maintain a certain distance.
Develop the ability to understand where to show your innate shyness, and where you should not.
Finding a destination
Every woman is obliged to fulfill her own destiny. In this situation, self-esteem is automatically normalized. Choose a specialty to your liking.If it is impossible to determine the area that is your mission in life, you urgently need to look for talents in yourself. First you need to answer the question whether you like what you do. Are you satisfied with your work? Does it benefit the environment and people? Then consider if you are making time for your hobbies and hobbies. Often they are the destiny of a person.
Give your hobbies more time.... Look for your own strengths. Make time for your dreams. Get rid of self-interest, greed, envy and fear. Learn to do good, but don't report it to everyone.
Thank God for the opportunity to help other people, as these actions cleanse you of negative qualities.
Psychologist's advice
Love yourself, your character and your own appearance. This means the ability to live in harmony with oneself, to understand one's own Ego. Young ladies are often unhappy with their appearance. You should not engage in self-flagellation and self-criticism. Some girls feel awkward in themselves, others do not like their own eyes, lips, cheeks, figure. To correct their shortcomings, women with low self-esteem endanger their health with exhausting diets or plastic surgery. Only a self-sufficient woman is able to understand that the body and appearance, given by nature, are of special value.
We must take care of ourselves and be able to use a genetically based constitution and appearance. It is foolish and pointless to suggest artificial beauty. It is better to pay attention to your inner world, look for positive traits in yourself, develop them. Remember: self-development makes a girl attractive in the eyes of others, regardless of her appearance..
There are some rules to follow. You never need to make excuses to others for your actions. Stop criticizing and judging yourself, learn to think of yourself in a positive way. Trying to please others leads to a decrease in self-esteem. But do not try to emphasize your superiority over people. Such qualities are not inherent in self-sufficient people.
Psychologists do not recommend monitoring the success of others, and even more so, you should not chase after them. There are many individuals in the world who are luckier than you. Keeping up with more successful people lowers your rating in your own eyes. Learn to cheer yourself up. There are no trifles in life, so every event leaves a certain mark on the soul of a person.
Striving for a pure, harmonious life brings happiness to ladies and improves mood. Filter the negative statements of strangers addressed to you - it is impossible to please everyone. Do not under any circumstances scold yourself for shortcomings and failure, as any mistake is another step to perfection.
It's never too late to start working on yourself. You need to constantly engage in self-development, reading fiction. It is necessary to communicate with interesting people, learn from their experience. Psychologists recommend doing the following exercises.
- Compliment yourself regularly. Say them out loud. For example: “How gorgeous I look today!”, “What a delicious soup it turned out! I am an excellent hostess! "
- Make a list out of 50 positive qualities... Repeat them mentally.
- Try to write affirmations like “I like my appearance”, “I am pleasant to the people around”, “friends and relatives adore me”, “I am a kind and friendly person”.
- Keep a personal journal... Record in it all your even very insignificant achievements. This exercise must be performed until the habit of noticing and appreciating any successes, new opportunities and small victories is fully formed.
- The next exercise is called the Double. Imagine a famous person in your place, for example, a singer or TV presenter.Communicate with others, imagining that it is not you who are talking at the moment, but the idol of millions of viewers is broadcasting through your lips.
- Remember that your appearance is only evaluated for a few seconds. Wait until they end and calmly enter into a dialogue.
If you could not solve the problem yourself, contact a specialist for advice. A therapist can help you figure out how your attitudes and thinking work. He will find the right approach to solving problems.
The following video will tell you how a woman can improve her own self-esteem.