Child's self-esteem: formation and development

Psychology is one of the most interesting and rapidly developing sciences. A separate branch can be distinguished in it - child psychology. Today, one of the most important concepts in the framework of child psychology is the child's self-esteem. In our material, we will take a closer look at this concept.

Self-esteem is a subjective assessment of a person. It is formed in childhood and exists throughout our life. Wherein this characteristic of our personality can change over time.

There are several categories of self-esteem. They are the same for all people: for boys and girls, junior and senior schoolchildren, children 8, 9, 10 years old and older. Let's consider the types of self-esteem in more detail.

Children with low self-esteem are unsure of themselves and their decisions, are overly shy and cautious, and need constant approval, support, and praise. They quickly and easily succumb to the influence of the people around them, and therefore often turn out to be members of bad companies. Low self-esteem can occur when teachers, parents and friends constantly make fun of the child and his failures... A child accustomed to such an attitude tries to achieve his goals by all possible means.

Overrated kids are arrogant and used to looking down on everyone. (friends, parents, teachers, etc.). They are constantly trying to convince the people around them of their impeccability. In this regard, very often children remain lonely and do not have friends.

Two-year-olds with high self-esteem very often develop a superiority complex "I am the best." A child who considers himself to be better than others tends to exaggerate his merits and downplay existing shortcomings.... In the event that he experiences any setbacks in his endeavors, the child begins to blame the whole world and external circumstances, but never admits his own guilt. In addition, the baby does not accept criticism.

Adequate (or positive) self-esteem is fully consistent with the real state of affairs. A child who assesses himself adequately believes that he is on the same level with his peers: not above and not below them... Such a child adequately perceives criticism in his own direction, strives for development and self-improvement. He is in a harmonious and stable relationship with himself. Having an adequate level of self-esteem, the child is confident in himself and his actions... He is actively and successfully developing in all areas of his life: in his studies, hobbies, relationships with his family and people around him.

A competent analysis of the level of a child's self-esteem is the most important part in his upbringing.

If you notice that your child has inadequate self-esteem, then you must help him. So, in order to increase confidence, raise, strengthen or correct the baby's self-esteem, it is necessary to follow certain recommendations of psychologists. This is the only way you can raise an adult with positive self-esteem.

• Don't use "shortcuts"... During a quarrel or conflict, parents tend to assign different labels to their baby (for example, "lazy" or "clumsy"). This is strictly prohibited. If a child regularly hears such expressions addressed to him, then he automatically perceives them as truthful, and the unwanted behavior continues to be fixed.
• Don't scold for academic failure... A bad mark for an incorrectly performed Russian exercise or an example in mathematics is not a reason to destroy your child's self-esteem. Many children find it difficult to learn, and your scandals and screams can only further exacerbate the negativity. In such situations, you must support and motivate your child.
• Let's have the opportunity to express your opinion... The child has the right to his opinion both in everyday life and in the course of quarrels. Don't put pressure on your baby. Also, always listen to your little one's excuses and point of view.
• Talk to your child constantly... On a regular basis, learn about what the child thinks and feels, what is happening in his life. Do not in any way avoid difficult and delicate topics. Answer your child's questions honestly and sincerely.
• Praise your baby... Very often, parents who are afraid to develop an overestimate in their child avoid words of praise and support. This approach can lead to the development of the opposite phenomenon - too low self-esteem.
• Use setting words... Every day in your home, phrases should be pronounced that make it clear to the baby that he is loved and desired at home, he is always safe, he will be listened to and supported. These phrases include: “we understand you,” “we will always protect you,” “we trust you,” etc.
• Give your child tasks... In order for the baby to feel a sense of accomplishment, a sense of completion, entrust him with small tasks around the house. For example, make him responsible for cleaning your room or feeding your cat. Control the execution of tasks as imperceptibly as possible, then the child will feel like an independent and self-sufficient person.
• Teach failure is part of life.... A toddler's losses and failures should not be ignored. Explain to him that each failure is a new experience and an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson.
• Create a harmonious home environment... It is no secret that children who grew up in a family where they constantly scandal, swear and do not respect each other's interests, tend to have inadequate self-esteem. Therefore, in your home, you must create the most favorable and harmonious environment where the child will feel good.
• Develop your baby's talents... If you notice that your child draws all his free time - send him to an art school. If the baby shows a desire to sing or dance, take him to the appropriate circle. Try to comprehensively develop the personality of your child, focus on his strengths and skills.

Parents can destroy children's self-esteem. Due to the fact that the characteristics of a child's development directly depend on the psychological climate and the situation in the family, psychologists come to the conclusion that often parents are the very people who underestimate or, on the contrary, overestimate the child's self-esteem.

Consider the most common parenting mistakes.

• Concentrating on the negative... Parents pay close attention to the failures and mistakes of the baby, and take any success for granted. In addition, when criticizing a child, parents often do not offer help or solutions, which only exacerbates an already negative situation.
• Comparison with other children... Comparing to other children is always a bad idea. At the same time, this applies to both negative and positive examples. Remember that your child is a separate, self-sufficient person.
• Total control... The child must independently perform the tasks that he has already been taught. Do not get involved in such situations and allow your child to make some mistakes on his own. Excessive custody and control leads to the fact that the child begins to think that he is not doing anything on his own.
• Public comments... In the event that your child has behaved incorrectly, you should not publicly scold or scold him. All conversations should take place without unnecessary witnesses.

Consider several recommendations of psychologists regarding the correct upbringing of children.

• Parents should show absolute and unconditional love for their baby.... Perceive your baby for who he is - with all his merits and demerits.
• Highlight your child's strengths and on his successes, and from each failure help to draw a lesson for the future. Encourage your child in all his endeavors.
• Strive to develop different abilities and talents in your baby.... However, these skills do not have to be practical.
• Always give your baby a choice - this forms in him the ability to make independent decisions and be responsible for them. In this way, you form a mature and self-sufficient personality.
• Teach your child to solve their problems on their own.
• Develop a sense of tolerance in your baby.... Teach him that he should take care not only of himself, but also of those around him.
• If a child wants to try himself in something new and responsible (for example, he wants to have a dog), then you you should explain to him all the difficultieshe may encounter (for example, getting up early and constantly walking with the animal).
• Your personal self-esteem and your attitude towards life are also important.... If the baby sees that his parents are pessimistic, constantly complaining and generally unhappy with their lives, then he will follow the same behavioral patterns. Remember this.

Self-esteem is the most important indicator of the psychological health of a little person. This is a phenomenon that is typical for people of all ages, so an insecure student will become an adult who will not be able to achieve his goals and will be constantly disappointed in his life.