Self-confidence: what is it and how is it different from self-confidence?

It seems to many that self-confident people live easily. They do everything without much effort. They overstep failures without even noticing. But is it really so?

Some people are not very clear about the meaning of the word "self-confident". Seeing a successful person, they consider him to be just that. But this concept, according to experts, has a negative connotation rather than a positive one. Others, on the contrary, too "denigrate" this trait of a person's character, confusing it with overestimated self-esteem or excessive arrogance.

Self-confidence and self-confidence differ significantly from each other. The difference is that the first definition is suitable for people who only pretend that they can do everything and do not need any help. While a confident person actually has sufficient knowledge and skills to cope with almost any task. The former can say for years that very soon an invaluable work of literature will come out from under their pen, while the latter will silently release several works that will be very popular.

Paradoxical as it may sound, psychologists argue that underneath self-confidence is nothing more than a complete lack of self-confidence. The speech and behavior of such a person is full of bravado. Self-confident are ready to praise themselves constantly, although in fact, even if they have any talents, they are simply afraid to use them.

It seems that a proud person is a proud person. And if you look closely at him, you can see in him the same features as in an offended child. By the way, all these qualities come from childhood.

The most common prerequisites for this are two completely opposite conditions.

1. First - adults make unnecessary demands on the baby, subject him to harsh criticism for the slightest mistake, awkward appearance, lack of physical strength, some kind of talents. For example, parents have got it into their heads that their child must certainly become a great violinist, and the child “has stepped on the ear”. No matter how hard he tries, he does not succeed in justifying the hopes of his relatives. The former are furious, the latter are in complexes.
2. The second reason - the offspring bathes in the praises of relatives and teachers. He is taught from young nails that he is the smartest, most handsome, capable. As a result, the young creature believes in this so much that he begins to consider himself omnipotent, although in fact he does not shine with any talents, a desire to learn and work on himself.

It is very simple to understand that such a person is in front of you. Here are some of the main differences between a self-confident person.

• Any criticism is perceived by him as a personal insult. He does not know how to listen to others. In any dispute, he wants to come out the winner. Moreover, his main arguments are screams, aggression, sometimes even hysteria.
• A self-confident person experiences every mistake as a personal tragedy. At the same time, it happened, according to his deep conviction, solely by unfortunate coincidence of circumstances or even someone's malicious intent.
• Such a citizen constantly sings hymns to the glory of his beloved. He assures that he is a superman, capable of any accomplishments.
• This type is not able to work on the same project for a long time if it causes him any difficulties. His complexes do not allow him to go forward. He cannot accept even the slightest mistake. Indeed, in the eyes of others and his own, he must remain a genius.
• A self-confident employee will never finish what he has already done. He won't even try to fix the bugs. Everything that he creates, in his opinion, is already flawless.

Sometimes, overconfidence also brings positive results. For example, when a person may not respond to excessive criticism and continues to go his own way. The problem is that these people have superlatives. This means that overconfidence often becomes overwhelming. Its excess leads to financial failures - a too self-confident person can make a mistake, while not doubting for a minute that he is right. He will invest in a bank, which, according to all forecasts, will "burst" tomorrow, but his self-confidence does not give him the opportunity to analyze the situation and the market.

Overconfidence is fraught with other dangers. Such a person often cannot adequately assess his appearance and state of health. He diligently does not notice any flaws, which often leads to the fact that he carefully hides his bad state of health even from himself. She writes off everything on bad weather, the mood of others. As a result, the visit to the doctor is not even postponed, and is not considered in principle.

Often there are people among the self-confident overweight. They do not respond to comments from friends and family, do not want to understand that this not only spoils their appearance, but also leads to serious consequences.Confident in their superiority, such patients go to the doctors when it is getting late, if at all, and another of their distinguishing feature is tendency to self-medicate.

After all, excessive suspiciousness also does not lead to anything good. Therefore, if you recognize yourself in the above-described citizen, it is time to think and correct your behavior, lifestyle, look at yourself and those who are around. After all, even the most brilliant artist will remain unknown if he does not have enough self-confidence to open his own opening day or show a picture to a recognized master. Not a single book will be published, even if its author is the second Pushkin, if, at the same time, he regularly puts all his manuscripts on the table and does not show them even to his closest relatives and friends.

To become a self-confident person, but at the same time not to overestimate your own capabilities, it is worth taking a few steps. This will help to use inner strength and it will be easier to solve any problems, both professional and personal. First of all change your attitude towards criticism. Yes, it is not always pleasant and sometimes not constructive. But this is only occasionally. Often from those who criticize us, we can take the experience or knowledge we are missing. Treat these conversations like lessons at school. Some of the knowledge gained will be very useful in the future.

Second rule - celebrate your victories. Of course, you shouldn't go to a party with your friends after every successful step. Keep a diary and write down your achievements - switching to proper nutrition, regular visits to the gym, being polite, everything that was not typical for you before, but what you were able to achieve. This is your win list. Very soon, there will be much fewer defeats in life.

Third - do not be afraid to make mistakes. You can stay perfect only by doing nothing. Don't take every miss as a complete failure. Try to learn to laugh at yourself and your flaws. Remember what Munchausen said? “All nonsense on earth is done with a serious expression. So smile, gentlemen. " Laughter not only lifts the mood, but also prolongs life, and often helps to find a way out of the most difficult, and sometimes dead-end situation.

And the last - dream, set new goals for yourself. You have already earned money for an apartment, a car and even a yacht, but it does not bring you pleasure? Talk to yourself. What do you really want? Maybe you've always wanted to travel a lot or take up dancing at the most expensive samba school in Brazil? Remember your childhood desires and rush to meet them.

If you can change yourself overly self-confident, then it is difficult to calm down such a person in your environment. Moreover, his bad example can become contagious. Therefore, if a citizen is too self-confident in front of you, adhere to the following rules.

• Never respond rudely to rudeness, do not make a "bazaar" out of an argument, remain calm, even if your self-confident interlocutor falls into hysterics.
• Do not be afraid to stop him with a harsh question - for example, "Why are you yelling at me or being rude?" More often than not, all this drives an overly self-confident person into a stupor. After all, heightened tones are the norm for him, he does not even notice that the decibels are “off scale”.
• Do not take everything he said as dogma. Analyze the words and if you realize that you are just facing a notorious Mr. (Miss) Self-confidence, forget talking to him, imagine that it was a bad dream.
• Do not follow the lead of a self-confident person.To end a non-constructive conversation with him, use a short phrase: "Thank you, I will take into account everything you said." Then follow the previous point.