All about abandonment syndrome

Some people experience their loneliness very painfully. It seems to them that they are not needed by anyone. A feeling of abandonment can arise even during a crowded holiday, in a work collective, in the bosom of the family.

Most often, the roots of this trouble go back to childhood. The kid craves parental love. Somewhere on an unconscious level, the baby realizes that without a mother and father he cannot survive in a terrible world. Left all alone, the child panics. He is frightened, crying. Every parental leave from home terrifies the baby. And father and mother are immersed in their own problems. The feelings of the child do not bother them much. If only he behaved well, did not get sick and did not cause additional trouble.

Feelings of abandonment can occur not only as a result of excessive parental immersion in the work process. It can arise due to the birth of younger brothers and sisters. Feelings are impoverished because the baby is often left alone with his experiences. He cannot feel protected. Childhood trauma occurs due to the frequent feeling of complete abandonment, therefore, in adulthood, a person can hardly endure the feeling of loneliness. Subject lacks warm human relationships and care. One of the reasons is the improper development of relationships. Sometimes a person loses a relationship with himself, ceases to feel his persona.

Divorce or death of one of the parents gives rise to the instability of the state of the child's soul. The child develops a panic fear from the mere thought that he might be abandoned. Breaking up in adulthood often makes you feel alienated. The feeling of loneliness at this moment can completely take over a person.Any temporary separation is painful. The departure of the husband for 2 days on a business trip with his wife with the trauma of abandonment turns into sleepless nights, tears. People who have retired sometimes find it very difficult to end their professional activities. Some people see retirement as their own death. The transition to adulthood also sometimes signals the approach of life to its logical end.

An unhealthy relationship scenario is formed as a result of feelings of worthlessness and fear of losing a life partner. An abandoned person can easily adapt to a cold partner. He is patient with the chosen one, who does not know how to appreciate his personal qualities. The subject, abandoned by all, does not expect understanding and help from the people around him. The trauma of rejection usually leads to short and destructive relationships. Numerous losses and breakdowns occur due to the fact that a person has a fear of possible rejection. The subject acts on the principle that he would rather leave the chosen one than he would hurt him by leaving him at the wrong moment. A person who has a tendency to run away from a relationship cannot form a stable pair with someone who rejects him.

The abandonment syndrome is often accompanied by rudeness or aggression. Such people cannot always control their behavior. They are prone to self-flagellation, self-criticism, straightforwardness. They are conflicting or, conversely, overly compliant. They do not always know how to express their own opinion. A rejected person often experiences a sense of their own uselessness. Any little things can irritate him.

In addition, the people left behind are characterized by the following symptoms:

• gloominess;
• anxiety;
• suspiciousness;
• hypocrisy;
• focus on your person;
• inability to sincerely have fun;
• dislike for sociable and happy people.

First of all, you need to work through your childhood memories. You are still living within a certain framework. If an adult woman is afraid that her chosen one will reject her, one must remember what similar situations happened in childhood. Most likely, the small child was not explained in time that separation is not the end of life. As an adult, you can calm yourself down. People are able to cope with any kind of loneliness. Dig into your soul. Find out how you respond to stress, separation, conflict. Maybe you should change your psychological defense mechanism. It's important to remember when the feeling of abandonment first took hold of you. Visualize your thoughts about which trigger went off at that moment. You can compose poetry or prose, depict reflections on a piece of paper.

Only the conviction of one's own uniqueness will help get rid of the abandonment syndrome. It is very important to realize the value of human relationships. It is necessary to destroy the usual scenario. Don't intentionally destroy a healthy relationship. Set realistic goals and conditions for interacting with your close environment. Learn to meet your needs.

It is very important to constantly work on your communication skills, expanding your horizons. Visit various public places, meet new people. Try to build personal models of desired or, conversely, undesirable behavior with others. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Stick to your position, but do not impose it on others. Avoid unverified facts, rumors, stereotypes.Be able to adequately analyze any incoming information.

Never expect a situation to resolve itself. That will not happen. Find like-minded people, try to cope with the problem together. If necessary, seek help from specialists.